2 months earlier
Colson
After all that shit went down I kinda went on the run. Not from the law, from my problems. I knew my boys and Ash were looking for me and couldn't go home. It was a large empty place. Even with the boys just a few feet away I couldn't stand being there. Before I left they started staying up there with me for a while but I couldn't take it. I couldn't take the memories. They haunted me daily. Sometimes I even though I could hear Jane. I thought I could hear her beautiful laugh that filled the house when she laughed at one of my corny jokes or when she saw something on TV that she found funny.
It was the little things that were tearing me apart. Each time I would go back I ended up leaving again and going back to that same motel that was 15 minutes from her place. Call me crazy but I was still driving by her place and sitting outside wishing I could bring myself to go to her door but I just couldn't do it. I had fucked up. She didn't want me back. I honestly couldn't blame her. I cheated and lied. And when she needed me the most I just made things worse. Now she's in love with another man and there was nothing I could do about it.
It was time for me to start owning up to my actions. It was time for me to stop putting blame on other people for the things that I did. I started looking through my wallet to find the number of the one person that I blamed the most.