A/N: this has been a short chapter that I've had in my drafts for a while, and always said I would get back too because I have plans to turn it into something larger. I posted it to see if anyone liked the idea, and to see what number I should put it on my priority list to finish. (I'll definitely (maybe) change the name so it fits better — and post it in a separate chapter)
Fair chance I'll update tomorrow because I've missed update days
Warning(s): angst, because I've been pretty depressed lately and there's no end in my current sights
As far as normal study sessions went, this was definitely the quietest. You and Peter had a reputation of getting the work done, but only after hours of getting distracted every couple of minutes. Laughing, talking, daring Peter to do tricks with his webs. By those terms, this definitely wasn't a normal study session. And it seemed like Peter knew something was wrong the entire time.
"Hey Y/N?" Peter asked, breaking the silence.
"Yeah?" You replied. You had finished prepping for the actual test a while ago, and was just waiting for Peter to finish homework he forgot to do by reading a book.
"Are you okay?" That made you look up, sending a questioning glance in his direction. "I mean, you've just seemed really sad lately."
"I'm fine Pete," you mumbled, avoiding his eyes which narrowed in your direction. Your answer just made the boy think the opposite, which was true.
"I think you're lying." Peter stated, placing down his homework and scooting over closer to you. The past week or so, he's been watching you gradually grow distant. Not anything terribly bad, and he noticed it right away, but was too scared to mention anything in case you thought the worst. "You know you can tell me anything," he reminded you and you bit the inside of your cheek. "What's wrong?"
You knew you couldn't tell him the full truth, but to your dismay, he caught on. It shouldn't have been so surprising, Peter was a smart boy, but part of you hoped that this would've been one of the things he was blind to. You acted too differently, and he noticed. You had to tell him something, but you were too bad a liar to make up something on the spot.
You sighed. "I just don't know why people don't like me." You mumbled, using your book to block the sight of your best friend.
"What are you talking about?" Peter was confused. "Tons of people like you! I like you,"
"Not like that, Peter," you admitted, mumbling the words, glancing up at him.
"You mean like like you," Peter said, understanding, and you embarrassedly nodded your head. "Oh Y/N, why are you thinking like that?" He moved even closer, making the bed bounce, before he gently pulled down your book, taking it from you, making sure to bookmark the page, so he could have your full attention.
"I'm just saying—" you cleared your throat, and spoke a little more clearly. Like you weren't sad. "I'm just saying, from my experience with crushes, none of them have ever like me back. And it's just getting really depressing, because the one I have now, I'm certain he doesn't like me like I like him." You sighed dejectedly. "I know he likes someone else."
"How could you be so sure?"
"I just know." You said plainly. "A lot of people have a crush on her, actually. I just don't know what she has that I don't."
"Come on Y/N/N! Don't compare yourself to her!" Peter exclaimed. "I didn't even know you had a crush on someone." He then muttered under his breath.
"It doesn't matter. It's just something I'll have to get over and then I'll be fine." You tried to dismiss it, change the subject, but Peter wasn't having that.
"It does matter obviously," Peter said, slightly annoyed, but not with you entirely. "Whoever this guy is, he's making you really sad and that's not okay. Who is it?"
"I can't tell you." You answered, your voice quieting down again.
"You can." Peter said, staring at you, but when he saw you grab and open your book again, he realized you really wouldn't say. "Fine. Then who's the girl you think he has a crush on then?"
You were silent for a moment longer before you spoke. "The same girl as you." You voice was so soft, that if you two weren't the only people in the room, Peter wouldn't have heard you.
"Liz?" He questioned, although he knew he was right by the way you folded in on yourself. Peter leaned back away from you, unsure of what to do next.
"Like I said, it's fine. I'll deal with it Pete,"
"No. I want to help." Peter stated firmly. "Why are you comparing yourself to her?" He asked hesitantly.
"Why wouldn't I?" You asked rhetorically, about to answer your own question. "She's really pretty, and smart, and popular. She's the complete opposite of me."
"Yeah," Peter said dreamily, an involuntary smile making its way onto his face, but he quickly pulled himself out of his daze when he realized what he said could be mistaken for. "I-I just mean she is those things. Not that you aren't." He didn't want to make you any sadder, because it was killing him seeing you like this. "Y/N, you're no different than Liz,"
"Really?" You laughed dryly. "In what world would I be pretty or popular?" You shook your head and stopped Peter before before he could interject. "I really don't want to talk about this anymore. Crushes just aren't my thing I guess."
"Please don't start thinking you'll die alone," Peter pleaded, his tone joking but also laced with concern. "Whoever this guy is, if he doesn't see you for who you are, which is an amazing person, then he doesn't deserve you liking him anyway." He smiled, playfully pushing your shoulder. "Now, do you want to help me finish this so we can forget how old we are and have some fun?"
You smiled back although sadness was still in your eyes. "I'm not doing all the work this time." You sighed as you grabbed a pencil from your desk, picking up his paper.
"No." Peter grinned. "Of course not."
You realized what you said earlier was exactly what you had to do. Move on. The crush wasn't one you should've had in the first place. If you truly came clean, it would ruin everything. Tear apart your most valuable friendship.
It would kill you if Peter found out that this entire time, the two of you were talking about him.