A/N: I might have said I wanted this to be the last chapter, but I also think I may have warned everyone that that might not be the case. And look at that, it wasn't! This chapter gave me trouble, and not in the way that I didn't know what to write, but for once in my life, I loved the way I ended it. The last 500 or so words I wrote were absolutely perfect, and guess what? It didn't save although I was 102% certain I did save it, so when I went back in, I lost my perfect work and let me tell you, it sucked so much I'm not sure how to put it into words. I tried my best to write it the way I did before, but I'm still not satisfied. Okay, enough of the super long authors note.
Warnings: None! The path of forgiveness is a (partially) happy one
How could you have not seen Peter was Spider-Man? Peter Parker was your soulmate?
The clues were all right there, a fool could've put the pieces together days, weeks, before you did. As you sat in your room, wildly thinking it over, your best rational idea was that you thought you had already ruled Peter out in your suspect list of who could be the Spider-Man, when he said the day you not so subtlety questioned what he was doing that Friday night, and he answered with the Harry Potter marathon with his aunt.
But even that was a clue, because May herself said how they didn't even finish that night, and she thought he snuck out. Of course he did, because Peter went to go see you.
"Y/N, sweetie, are you okay?" You heard your mother softly say as she knocked on your bedroom door.
It had been her day off today, and your father was working. She thought you were going to be out a little longer, you had told her your plans- that would've been- with Peter, and you could tell she set up to have some down time; a bowl of popcorn next to her on the couch while she was wearing comfortable clothes and drinking a small glass of wine as one of her favorite shows was on the TV when you burst into the apartment with no warning.
Tears had been streaming down your face still when she saw you, but you had calmed down the sobbing on your rushed walk there. You were mad at yourself you were even crying in the first place. She saw you because you had paused when you felt her eyes on you, but you didn't say a word and instead wiped your eyes and headed to your room.
"No," you admitted quietly, and she opened the door to peek her head in, and upon seeing your reddened, tear brimmed eyes, and you on the floor against the wall to the left of your bedroom door instead of your bed, she frowned and invited herself in, sitting silently besides you. She waited for to speak, but she could see the indecisive look on your face. You weren't sure what to say— what you could say, as much as you wanted too.
"What happened?" She asked in a patient and caring voice. You were still hesitating, trying to figure out what words to speak. You hadn't realized you had your hand unconsciously covering covering your cuff. The action was just your hand over your wrist to keep your arms together around your knees, and something did feel off, but yet again, everything was off. But your mother saw this, and her face went blank before a tiny lightbulb of a guess went off. "Did you meet your soulmate, Y/N?" She asked softly.
You inhaled shakily before slipping off the leather, letting it drop to the ground with a soft thud, and letting your mother read the shining gold words that were perfectly placed around your wrist.
"Yeah," you whispered. "I did." As you wiped them, you saw out of the corner of your eye your mothers light up, but she kept her excitement understandably trivial at the moment. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you,"
"Oh, that's okay," she mumbled, glancing one last time at your wrist before gently pushing your hand down. "What happened, honey?"
You turned your head to face her, sniffling a little as you tried to compose yourself. "I-I really don't want to waste your me time—"
"You're more important, and you know that," your mom pursed her lips, stopping your protests and looking you in the eyes, waiting for you to continue.
Letting out a soft sigh, you spoke. "I met him a while ago, before...Peter?" You cringed, closing your eyes. "He was just like everyone else, he wanted me, his soulmate, but he didn't know about me, about what I wanted. I just left.
Then I met Peter. Well, technically, I already knew him, but I really met him. And... and he turned out to be everything I ever wanted." You paused, glancing at your mother, who was staring at you with both concerned and confused expressions. "I really fell for him, Mom, at least, that's what I thought."
"What do you mean?" She shook her head. "Did Peter meet his soulmate? Is that what's going on?"
"No, Mom, I'm Peter's soulmate." You explained.
"How?" You could sense the confusion rolling off of her.
"It's really complicated to explain, but when I met him, I didn't know it was him. I didn't know it was Peter, is what I'm trying to say. He was sort of, disguised."
"Wait," Your mom paused, and you turned your head to look at her. "Correct me if I'm wrong, by all means, but from what you've said, you met your soulmate— Peter, but didn't know it was him. Peter knew it was you, and intentionally kept that particular knowledge from you the entire time you've worked together in school, and gone out after?"
You blinked. "Y-yeah." You nodded your head. "And I was so dumb, not seeing the truth. He gave himself away so many times, but I never saw it." Of course you never saw it. You didn't want Peter to be Spider-Man, you wanted him to be the boy you've wanted since you could understand and grasp the entire concept of soulmates; a person who defied the unwritten rule of love at first sight with the one person you were 'meant to be' with. "Peter's my soulmate."
"You just found out, didn't you." Her question was more of a statement, you nod of agreement just proving her fact to be right. Your mother frowned again, this time, deeper. You knew this had to be a lot to hear, and you were glad she wasn't overreacting.
"I left him there again. At the park." You shook your head. "I-I'm angry, but I'm also, what's the word?"
"Conflicted." She finished for you. "That day you were researching soulmates? It was never for school, was it? You and Peter are connected, aren't you?"
"Emotionally," you simply answered back. "We can feel each other's emotions. That was the day i first talked to him, the day these words turned gold. I couldn't figure out why I felt so- so sad, so I looked it up."
"That was over a month ago, Y/N," she began in an slightly annoyed voice, but caught her tone and sighed.
"I wanted- I wanted to believe that I could find love that wasn't my soulmate, and Peter showed me that. So I latched on to him, because I could feel myself falling, and he seemed to be the same way. We-we kissed, Mom, I really thought he was the answer I've been waiting for all of my life, and I truly thought he felt the same. I was happy."
"Y/N—"
"Now everything I thought was a lie." You swallowed hard, your anger rising again. "I don't even know if anything I feel- felt? For Peter is true, because I could've just as easily been feeling how he felt for me. I-I—"
"Y/N, stop." Your mother ordered, softly, but firmly. "You're lucky it's me you're talking to, and not your father, because he wouldn't have a clue." She smiled sympathetically. "I think you need to calm down, take a few breathes, and I'll help you think this over. I know this is a lot for you, and it's overwhelming. Even more so if you have all of Peter's emotions in there as well, so, can you do that for me?" You paused before nodding your head, taking a large breath and exhaling. And then another. And another. "Good. Now, is there anything else you want to tell me before I offer my advice?" She asked softly.
You thought about it, and there wasn't much more that came to mind that didn't include Spider-Man, so you just shook your head.
"Okay," she sighed. "So you're not sure if anything you feel for Peter is real, huh?" To your surprise, your mother smiled briefly before continuing. "So how about you figure it out."
"But how?" You began, and she cut you off before you could continue protesting.
"Keep track. Of everything. Write down anytime you feel an emotion you're sure isn't yours, and write down every time you think of Peter, no matter in what way, and write down your emotions, as well, As long as you don't forget to date and time them, you'll be on your way to having good research you can study from."
"What...what would it help?"
"If one of Peter's positive emotions correlates with you thinking positively of him, then the thought is most likely caused by him."
"But if they're not,"
"Then it's proof towards you really are meant to be," she finished. "Even though he hid you were soulmates from you for weeks, he had to have some kind of reason. Do you know?"
You bit your lip. "I might've mentioned to him, that if I didn't know he was my soulmate— this was before I knew it was Peter— that maybe we could be together." You turned your head to look at your hands. "So, his reasoning, was that he wanted to prove that we still could happen. Because I didn't know it was him."
"Okay." You looked back over to see your mother nodding her head. You could tell she still had questions, she was a scientist, her entire job encourages her to question everything to find answers, but she kept them to herself. "So does this sound like a good plan?"
"Yeah- yeah." You agreed. "But, what if it doesn't work? What if the data doesn't show one way or the other?"
"Then I guess the decision is yours." Your mom stood up, and you tracked her with your eyes. "I know you've been waiting for someone to show you that true love can happen and isn't forced upon soulmates, for tangible proof, proof that I sadly can't give you. The choice is yours to make, you can either move on with, or without Peter." She smiled sadly. "He's a good kid though, Y/N, and I really doubt he did this to hurt you. But I'll repeat: you are only kids. You have your entire life out in front of you. Take your time, and be sure."
"Yeah," you breathed, your eyes falling back to your wrists.
"We can talk more about this later, I'll make sure to fill in your father. Until then, you're welcome to join me, I've got popcorn, and—"
"Do you love him?" You blurted, interrupting your mother. "Dad, I mean." You shook your head. "Do you love Dad?"
Your mom tenderly smiled at you and she bent down to push your hair behind your ear. "I really do love your father, sweetie," she met your eyes. "Maybe at first, it was only because we thought we had to, but as time passed, we saw that we were the other half we always needed, and together, we're whole. We're complete opposites if you hadn't noticed," you laughed a little. "And we're even more so when we were younger, but we also compliment and balance each other out." She closed her eyes for a moment. "I truly believe that the universe," she nodded her head before she finished her sentence. "It really does know what it's doing. There are just some questions that can't be answered, and that's okay, Y/N," She smiled one last time before kissing your forehead and then leaving your room, softly closing the door behind her and leaving you to decide what your next move was going to be.
—————
Peter's fear was almost unbearable.
It wasn't normal fear, no, you knew that, it was fear because he as scared of losing you.
It was his most dominate emotion, you've figured out. The others being anger and regret. Guilt and sadness. You seemed to be feeling all of what he was feeling all the time, instead of at random. You figured it was because you unmasked the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man; kind of a more knowledge equals more insight kind of thing. That was of course, viewing it from a scientific perspective.
You'd taken your mother's advice and began writing down everything. Not quite like a journal, you kept that separate, but more like data entries. Every hour or so, unless his emotions spiked, which normally resulted in yours doing the same, you would do a quick update to see if anything has changed. It took everything you had to not force yourself to think of Peter, so you found ways to distract yourself.
Your father had found you and your Mom balled up together on the couch sleeping, the middle of a Supernatural episode playing when he came home. You'd stayed home the next day as well. It was a Friday anyway, and you weren't too sure if you were quite ready to see Peter yet.
He's texted you, and called once or twice, but you had kept away from your phone, instead distracting yourself with TV and books, doing basically everything you normally would do minus the use of your phone before you met Peter.
During that time, you also watched your parents, every face they made at each other, both playful and how they looked when the other wasn't watching. You noticed how free they were, how comfortable, how trusting they were when they were together. It was just like how free and comfortable and trusting you felt when you were with Peter
Your mind was a mess, and you felt guilty that you were also sharing your emotions with Peter. It was two sided, you felt his and he felt yours. But through the mess, there was a memory, clear as day, that forced itself into your mind seemingly out of nowhere.
You and Peter sat together, quiet, soft music coming from May as she attempted to cook in the kitchen. You were pretending to be mad at Peter after he'd grabbed your book before you were finished, and refused to speak to him until you were done with the chapter, which was only a page.
Peter had given up on trying to stop you from finishing before you were done, and sat back on the couch. But instead of picking up his phone while he waited, he smiled because of you and stared between his hands and at you. You could feel and see the glances he snuck at you, and they felt like more than just because they were checking to see if you were done. He was looking at you. A large smile appeared on your face as you started mimicking his actions, and soon, the two of you were both grinning kids who couldn't stop staring at the other.
You remembered how truly perfect that memory felt to you, how happy you were being idiots together, and you thought about how much you wanted to experience a moment like that again. But not just a moment like that, a moment like that again, with Peter. Not anyone else, only Peter. Before your brain could crush it with the present, you wrote it down, like you had been writing everything down. The exact memory, every feeling you felt that day, and felt now.
You thought maybe, just maybe, there was the chance that you could experience moments like that with him again.