I want to dedicate this chapter to the very supportive readers who comment and vote. I love you all, and I want you to know how much that means to me :) <3
I go home with Grant from school as usual. It's Friday, so at least that's something to be happy about. After a day like today happiness is few and far in between. I can't believe Mandy thinks I wrote Justin that note.
"Are we going to my house or yours?" I ask Grant, distractedly.
He grins. "Neither."
I make sure that he sees how unhappy I am with his vague answer. He knows I hate surprises, and that I want him to elaborate.
He ignores me, and keeps driving.
The futher we drive, the more confused I become. It was absolutely nothing around us. When the car finally stops we are in the middle of nowhere.
I stare at Grant questioningly. This type of situation never ends well in the movies.
"Why are you looking at me like I'm about to kill you?" He asks chuckling.
"Why did you take me to the middle of nowhere?" I ask, answering his question with my own.
"I come here when I need to think, and I thought it might help you." He says thoughtfully.
I immediately feel silly for jumping to extreme conclusions. "Thank you." I say. I could actually use a nice thinking place right now..
He nods his head.
I observe my surroundings. It was not an extremely beautiful place, but it was quiet and remote. To be honest it was just a big field miles from the city. The land was flat, and there were few trees, so you could see miles away. I don't see any signs of people. Weird.
Grant gets out the car. "I think I have a blanket or something in the trunk we can sit on."
I follow suit, and sit on the blanket when he lays it out.
Ripping a piece of grass out of the ground, I split it into two pieces. Twisting them in to a ball.
"Christen talk to me." Grant says firmly.
I turn to him. "I'm talking now." I say in a dull tone of voice.
He rolls his eyes. "I mean about what's going on."
I sigh. "Where do I even begin?" I ask a little hysterically. "Things are just so messed up."
"My best friend thinks I betrayed her, and she never wants to talk to me again." I finish in a rush, gnawing on my lip. It sounds so much worse when I say it out loud.
Grant looks like he wants nothing more than to make me feel better. "New idea, how about we just talk about something else. Like the fact I despise when people eat ham, and then drink milk afterwards. It's degrading to animals."
Surprisingly that nonsensical topic makes me laugh. "Shut up." I say hitting his arm.
For a moment I forgot about everything, but just for a moment. Then the memories of my misery come floating back to me.
"I hate when things make you stop smiling." Grant says, creasing his eyebrows together.
That makes me pause my thoughts, and look at him. "Sorry." I mumble.
I squeeze my teeth together, in a forced smile. I'm pretty sure it is unsightly, but maybe it will do.
Grant smirks. "Never mind, you can stop smiling."
I laugh again. "What if I told you, you were actually making me feel better?" I ask.
"I would say, that's a big accomplishment. Taking into account the mood you're in." He says, throwing rocks out into the field.
I smile genuinely this time, and we continue to talk for while.
Grant mostly succeeded in taking my mind off of the days events, but every now and then my mind drifts back to them unwillingly.
His current way of distracting me, is telling me news about Jacob.
"Did He really take his first steps yesterday?" I ask, Grant excitedly.
He nods. "Now I have to baby proof the whole house."
"That's great!" I beam.
"I'm glad somebody is happy about it." He says wearily.
I smile, he was right I am definitely happy. Jacob is such a big boy! I can't wait for Caleb and Arianna to take thier first steps too!
"That's my little man, taking the world by storm with his little feet." I say proudly.
Grant grins. "I don't think anyone has been a better mother figure to him then you, since Samantha has been in jail."
I blush at the compliment. "Well he deserves it."
I look out at the field, it was very green from the many acres of grass. Which means I have an ample supply to fidget with.
"Thank you." Grant says sincerely. " I appreciate you, and that's part of the reason I wanted to give you this." He says pulling a ring box out of his pocket.
I stare at it with bulging eyes. Does he have what I think he has in that box? My heart stops, but I don't know if it's from fear or from excitement.
He opens the box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring. My voice gets caught in my throat, and I can't make words come out of my mouth. My nose burns, and tears threaten to spill over my eyes. Is he proposing to me? Even though common sense is telling me we are way too young, My heart is screaming it doesn't care. I wave my hand in front of my face like one of those girls on Tv, and try to get myself together.
Grant looks at me like I'm the most special thing in the world. "You know I'm bad at this stuff, but here we go." He begins.
"I don't exactly know what love is Christen, and I'm not going to pretend to know. All I know, is for me you are the exact definition of it. I've never met someone, so selfless, kind, dedicated, silly, stubborn, beautiful, strong, and filled with the love of GOD like you are. A day with you is like a glimpse of heaven, literally, and I decided I want a lot more days like that. So, I want to make a promise to you. If I am blessed enough, and you want to marry me one day, this ring will turn into an engagement ring. If not, this ring will just symbolize the fact that I will always be there for you. Even if we are not together, you will always have a friend in me." Grant says, and slips the ring on my ring finger. Tears stream down my face like the Niagara Falls. All thoughts of my bad day have been destroyed by this wonderful boy in front of me. His deep hearted words were perfectly spoken.
I launch myself at Grant, knocking him backwards in the process. I am now looking down at his handsome face, and rest my hand on his cheek. "You are one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. If I had to choose someone who fit perfectly with my life, I couldn't choose anyone better than you. That's why I'm glad GOD chose you for me. You are sweet, funny, humble, unique, thoughtful, independent, supportive, and open-minded. I don't know where we'll be ten years from now or even five years from now, but I know my feelings for you will never change." I say looking into his deep brown eyes, feeling more tears fall down my cheek.
He takes his calloused, but soft thumb and wipes the tears of joy from my eyes, and cheeks.
I inch my face closer to his, and he meets me the rest of the way. Our lips finally connect, and it's nothing but pure electricity between us. My eyes flutter close. I know immediately that Grant got what he wanted, this kiss is going to be different then any one we've ever had.
I wrap my hands firmly around his neck as he flips us over, so that my back is against the blanket. After weeks of waiting, this is complete paradise. I let out a happy sigh.
As usual my brain catches up with our actions, and I start to hyperventilate.
He just holds me tighter, and kisses me with more passion then I ever knew he possessed for me. I kiss him back just as passionately if not more. Our lips mold together perfectly, uniting us. I feel a little warning in the back of my mind, telling me this is escalating too quickly, but I ignore it.
I move my hands from around his neck, and grip his hair in between my fingers. He takes his hand and puts it in my hair as well. I could feel him pulling at the roots, but I didn't even notice if it hurt or not.
Suddenly his body tenses, and he sits up. We are both trying to catch our breath. We didn't notice that we were suffocating each other until we pulled away. I can see the apologetic glance he shoots me, and I know exactly why he pulled away. He is starting to let go, and can't handle loosing control.
"Hey look at me." I insist, while reaching up to him. He reluctantly follows my instructions. "It's ok. You don't have to fight this."
I can see his internal struggle, as he looks down at me. He has to break through all his walls he's built up. He finally gives in and reconnects his lips with mine. I'm glad, and I part my mouth allowing him entrance.
As the kiss deepens, I wrap my legs around his waist, anchoring my body to his. It's like I can't get enough of him. Grant smells great as usual, and I'm inhaling him like I need to for survival.
This is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I feel loved in every sense of the word, and closer to Grant than ever.
Every time his lips move across mine I feel like a live wire has been let loose in my body. Every second of our physical contact we're conveying our deep feelings for each other. I am thrilled he is finally letting himself go, he deserves to be free from his bondage. A rush of excitement goes through me at the unexpected things to come.
I also had a strong urge that I needed to stop this, but I couldn't bring myself to. I was too consumed with my immediate needs.
Before I realize what I'm doing, I stick my hands under Grant's shirt and start to pull it off. He puts his hand up to stop me, but I knock it out of the way.
I throw his shirt on to the blanket, and blush slightly. I've never seen him without a shirt before, and I'm absolutely loving every minute of it. He's gorgeous. I run my hands across his toned stomach, memorizing each plane. I feel a ripple go through his body when I do that, and I hold back a smile.
Grant soon releases my lips, and moves down to my neck. I let out a shocked whimper. This feels...nice. I can feel him smirk against me. He kept kissing my neck, and I thought about how I could make him feel the same way I feel.
I realize how inexperienced I am, and have no clue what to do. I didn't want to do anything to embarrass myself, so I just kept still for now. Every second, I feel more and more out of control of what will happen between us.
This is all going too fast, and we are entering dangerous territory. I know Grant would never take advantage of me, but that doesn't mean we won't do things we will regret. I need to stop this.
I am about to protest when he grazes his teeth across my neck. With that action I forget everything, and just live in the moment. This was like magic, we definitely had a strong physical chemistry. Every part of his being complimented my own. Grant's hands begin to lift up my shirt.
The strength I needed to resist this temptation manifests suddenly. I start to sit up, and he pulls away immediately giving me my space. We are both breathing heavily.
"I think we should stop." I say, my voice coming out hoarse.
Grant nods in agreement. "That would probably be best." I can see him clenching his fists, it obviously took a lot of effort for him to back off, and that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.
I am extremely grateful that he isn't mad, and doesn't try to pressure me. We did the right thing, but I can't ignore this annoying feeling I have. My body is telling me to keep on going, but all my values are telling me to stop. I am so frustrated, and conflicted by my feelings. I look down at the now crumbled up blanket. If it was one thing I know, it is this is not as easy as I thought it would be.
Resisting him was one of the hardest things ever, but I had to do it. I made a promise to myself, my parents, and most importantly GOD, that I would stay a virgin until I was married. If I had gone any further with Grant that promise would have been road kill. It still didn't change the fact that some parts of me wanted to pick up where we left off. Tears of confusion and frustration fill my eyes, and I blink them back refusing to cry over something so dumb. I needed to control my hormones, and that is the bottom line.
"I know Christen, I want you too." He says, clenching his jaw in restraint. I blush, and feel a rush of different feelings go through me at his words.
I take a deep breath. I needed to get a handle on myself. I was becoming annoyed with my overly emotional state.
"Put back on your shirt." I tell Grant, throwing his shirt at him.
Before he puts it on, I take one last peek. Man...I am so blessed.
He gives me a knowing look, and I shift uncomfortably under it. "You are not as innocent as people think you are." He says, smirking.
I blush, and pull some grass out of the ground. "What are you talking about?" I ask, although it's pretty clear what he's talking about.
"For starters, you made out with me in the middle of a field, like who does that?" Grant says, eyes shining with humor, and something else I can't detect.
"You started it." I mumble. I was beyond embarrassed that we made out in a field, on some cheap blanket. I never thought I would do something like that, and until now I kind of forgot where we were.
"You also took my shirt off against my will." He says, feigning shock.
I roll my eyes, hiding my blush. "Whatever. You didn't mind."
He doesn't reply, and moves on to his next accusation. "And you did this." He says, turning his side to me, and lifting up his shirt.
I gasp when I see long red marks by his ribs, wrapping around to his back, going all the way down his torso. I did that? I didn't even realize I was scratching him!
"I'm sorry Grant." I say, appalled at my behavior.
He waves it off. "It didn't hurt. Plus I kind of returned the favor."
I start to panic. "What do you mean you returned the favor?"
He pulls out his phone, turns on the front camera, and holds it up to my neck.
I feel my face heat up, at the sight before me. There was a huge dark red, and purple bruise forming at the base of my neck. It was way too obnoxious to cover up. It was big, and downright disgusting.
"You gave me a hickey!" I shout angrily at Grant. It's weird, you would think this would have been painful, but it wasn't.
He presses his lips together to stop himself from laughing.
"It's not funny! There is no way I can cover it! Why would you do this?"
Oh gosh, what was I going to tell my parents?
"It just sort of happened." He says, shrugging his shoulders.
I just stare at my neck, panicking more and more at each glance. This thing was huge!
"Remember that time you had a black eye? Why don't you use the makeup you used to cover that." Grant suggests.
"That was Courtney's makeup." I say, wishing I never gave it back to her. She told me I could keep it.
"Text her and ask her can you borrow it, and I'll take you over there to pick it up." He says.
"Ok that will work." I am so relieved that we've kind of found a solution.
I pull out my phone.
Me: Hey Court. Sorry for the late notice, but can I borrow the makeup you used to cover my black eye.
She answers back immediately.
Courtney: Yeah girl! What for?
I look up at Grant, and he is watching in amusement. "Tell her you ran into a door."
"Yeah, because that makes since." I say sarcastically, searching for something better to say.
Courtney: You have a hickey don't you?!
She was too intuitive. I am just going to have to be honest.
Me: Yeah, but don't tell anyone! We'll talk when I come in about an hour.
Courtney: No rush ;)
I internalize my sigh. Hopefully the makeup works.
On the brighter side of things, I am absolutely in love with my promise ring. I keep turning it at different angles so it reflects the sun. It was beautiful, and fit my hand perfectly. I still can't believe Grant gave me this. He wants to marry me one day... I think happily to myself. 'GOD can you believe this?'
"It's engraved." He says, while watching me adore the ring.
"It is?" I ask, slipping it off my finger, and reading it. The writing takes up the whole diameter of the ring.
With every step we take, GOD is with us.
I smile, and put my ring back on my finger. "It's beautiful, thank you." I say, leaning forward. I press my lips lightly against his. There was no hesitation on his part, which gives me great hope for our physical interactions from now on. He tastes wonderful, and his lips overpower my own. My hand goes into his hair, and pulls gently. Grant groans and pulls away.
"We don't want to get carried away again." He says, taking a steady breath.
I completely agree, and scoot a safe distance away from him. He was kryptonite as far as I'm concerned.
"Well, thank you for taking me to your special thinking place." I tell him politely moving to lighter topics.
"No problem. Do you feel better?" He asks.
"A lot better." I say, smiling to myself. I never expected that beautiful surprise. It's safe to say it turned my whole day, maybe even life around.
I folded up the blanket, and put it in Grant's car. We leave the vacant field.
"What's your favorite song?" I ask Grant when he starts driving. I didn't know the answer.
He takes a second to think. "'Let it be' by the Beatles."
I wrinkle my nose. "Something from this century. Not some unheard of song, by a band people have forgotten about."
"Are you crazy? The Beatles will never be forgotten, and 'Let it Be' is a very famous song." He argues.
I shrug, and decide to continue my questioning. "What's your favorite food?"
"Lasagna." He says. "And yours is chicken fingers."
"Aww you know me." I say.
"I'm pretty sure the whole school knows that."
He's probably right, it's all I ever eat.
"What's your favorite holiday?" I ask.
"Christmas."
"Mine too!" I say, happy we have something in common.
"It's most people's favorite holiday." Grant says.
Who doesn't like Christmas. There's presents, Santa Clause, Parties, Mistletoe, family and friends, and most importantly GOD. It is perfect.
"One more question." I ask hesitantly. "If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
He thinks carefully. "All of the times I should of kissed you and didn't. Because our kiss today was pretty damn incredible.
~~~~~~
🚨🚨🚨PLEASE READ🚨🚨🚨
Sigh. Mandy isn't talking to Christen. Who wrote that note? On the bright side Grant and Christen kissed😱😱 Omigoodness it's fan girl time! I know we all are like 'FINALLY!'. And didn't yall just love the part where he gave her the promise ring? He wants to marry her one day, and if that doesnt work out he promised to always be her friend!😭😭 I was dead, how about you guys?? Please comment and vote, and before you go let me explain something. The engraving of Christen's ring is 'With Every Step We Take GOD Is With Us'. Obviously the first part is the title of the book but some might be wondering where the second part comes from. Well, this book is apart of a trilogy called 'GOD is With Us'. The first book is 'With Every Step We Take', the second book will be 'With Every Group We Lead', and the third book will be 'With Every Year We Age'. I named the trilogy 'GOD is With Us', so it can form a complete sentence when combined with the book titles, and so I could voice the common theme in all the books. Christen's engraving is just a little shout out to the title of the book and trilogy.
P.S. Christen will not be the main character in the other two books 😔 but I guarantee you'll love them😊 Don't worry there are plenty of chapters left in this book. Bye bye for now! Love yall, GOD Bless :)