After school today, I came straight home. Overall my day was good, but I had and still have a lot on my mind. I needed to spend some exclusive time with my GOD.
Every ounce of my being needed him and longed for his presence. Every part of me wanted to be with him and in him. My soul cries out for him everyday. I love him, and live to make him proud. We need are quality time together.
I close my door to my room and turn off the lights. I lay under the covers and close my eyes.
'Hi GOD. How are you?' I say opening my self to his loving presence.
'I'm good. How are you?' He says.
I sigh. 'I'm trying to be good, but it's hard you know?'
'Believe me sweetheart I do.' He says.
The way he said that let's me know how much he really understands me. GOD suffers with us. He is not just some distant being that is indifferent to his children's pain. He understands that some of our pain is necessary for his mighty plan, but it still hurts him to see us in pain.
'GOD I need you, I don't know what to do. What are Jenny's motives?' I ask him desperately.
'My children don't behave in ways that make sense sometimes.' GOD says sadly. 'Don't worry Christen I am always protecting you, even from my own, just trust me.'
I am going to do just that. GOD will always protect me and take care of me, and I have nothing to worry about.
'GOD I want to be dog.' I say randomly. It didn't even make sense, but it was so easy to let words flow out of my mouth.
GOD laughs. 'You are such a silly girl.'
'Do I make you laugh?' I ask GOD, intrigued by the thought.
He smiles. 'Yes, you do all the time. You all will never understand the extent of which you amuse me.'
I smile. 'You are the best.'
'I know.' He says.
'How was your day? Please go into great detail.' I say to GOD. It's so easy to get caught up in a conversation with him. The potential in your conversations with GOD is endless, needless to say the conversations never get boring.
'Well sweetie I'm under stress.' He says, and I pick up a hint of weariness. It is something you must understand about GOD, he is very humane. GOD is more humane than us, he has feelings, worries, a sense of humor, and anything you can think of. The difference between him and us, is all of his humanity is made up of pure love, even his anger. There is not a single thing he does that does not contain love.
'About what ABBA?' I ask thoughtfully.
'Some of my children, are not finding me as they should.'
A pang of sorrow filled me. GOD loves us so much, and when we don't find our way back to him on earth it hurts him more than we could ever know.
I muster every ounce of love I have for this lovely, magnificent, caring, humane, and powerful being and give him a hug. Obviously GOD and I are not making actual contact, but the intent of it is there.
'It will be ok ABBA.' I say, knowing he already knows that.
'I know darling, I know. It will all be ok in the end, I just can't stand to see their souls in pain, bound by sin, and scarred from being disconnected from me. A lot of my children chose to come to earth, they were so anxious to go down and prove their faithfulness to me, and help fulfill my divine plan. Some come and don't do what they were destined to, I try my best to redirect them. Although it can only go so far, they have complete free will.'
I let ABBA know I understand completely.
'How can I help?' I ask desperately, I wanted to erase every worry from GOD, and take all the stress off his plate. He has been so good to me and everyone, he doesn't deserve this, He just doesn't.
'Just keep being you, take me with you everywhere you go, and continue to tell everyone about me.' He says.
'Of course.' I say earnestly. It thrilled me to know that GOD revealed to me the things that were bothering him. GOD released that information, because he was asked. He let me in, and my soul is rejoicing. GOD doing that really showed me that I'm not in this alone, that He will be just as open with me as He tells me I should be with him.
'Thank you.' GOD says.
'Tell me more.' I say to GOD reveling in this conversation.
He laughs. 'Like what?' Even though he already knows; he knows everything.
"Tell me more about your pain.' I say.
GOD smiles slightly. 'I feel like you're attempting to make me into an emotional little girl.' He jokes.
I laugh. 'You got that right. Now Polly, please talk.'
He laughs. I am completely thrilled that I can do that. Making GOD laugh is just...wow. Our joking has no limits, I can just be myself and not have to worry. He excepts me as I am, and actually encourages my nonsense. The thing is he has so many different aspects of his being, Each and every part of ABBA compliments any personality here on earth, with plenty more left over.
'Well it hurts me when I can't communicate with you all. I have so much to say to them, and so much to share with them, but they tune me out. I just want to tell them I love them, and help them along their journey. I can help them so much with their journey, I can make it easier. They have no clue, how important and precious they are to me. They have no clue all they have to do is call on my name, and they could take the world by storm. The world and all its evilness is no match for my children. It's just time you all start living like you knew that.' GOD says.
I let what he said sink in, it was so powerful. I love him so much, he's awesome.
'I love you too.' He says. 'I am so proud of you, so so proud. If you just keep relying on me, that will never change.'
'It makes you proud that I rely on you?' I ask inquisitively.
'Yes it does, because that's how it should be now and forever.' GOD says adamantly.
I imagine myself in the throne room with GOD. I have no clue what he looks like, and I won't until the day I die, but I imagine I'm looking into his face. I imagine that there is nothing but love between us, and that I am as complete as I will ever be.
One might wonder who's face I am looking at, GOD the FATHER, GOD THE SON, or GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT. I don't know, and it doesn't matter, because they're one in the same, and I'm a part of them. They are not separate from each other, you look at one you look at all. That being said, it might be difficult to understand why people claim they see JESUS when they visit heaven, but can't see the GOD THE FATHER unless they're coming to stay. People can see JESUS , because he roamed the earth once, and GOD THE FATHER did not. If you look into GOD THE FATHER'S face you are looking at a purely divine nature, whereas when you look at JESUS you are looking at a purely divine, and purely human mixture. Because that purely human, and purely divine nature balances out, you can see JESUS before it is your time to die, if you are fortunate enough to visit heaven beforehand.
'Your theories are very correct child. You're understanding of me continues to grow daily.'
'Thank you GOD, it's because of you.'
He smiles.
I continue to imagine myself looking into his face. I just imagine staring at something that is just beautiful beyond words. Staring at something that will fulfill my soul's greatest desires for all eternity. 'You are so amazing GOD, praise your holy name forever, and ever. You are my Beginning and End, you are Magnificent, HOLY, Omnipotent, Kind, Loving, Lovable, Funny, Open, Beautiful, Mighty, Strong, Deep, Majestic, Mysterious, Compassionate, Mesmerizing, Grand, Righteous, Healing, All Powerful, Mountain moving, Faithful, Encouraging, Glorious, Selfless, Gentle, Understanding, Never-Changing, Eternal, Wise, Bold, All Knowing, Relatable, Sensible, Tender Hearted, Awesome, Great, Delivering, and beyond words.' I tell ABBA praising him to his face, well imaging that I am.
GOD smiles. 'It's just as powerful. Thank you my precious child, you truly know me.'
I don't think I ever smiled this wide. GOD himself just told me I truly know him! If this isn't a life changing moment I don't know what is. Thank you GOD! I say praising him more.
'As much as you do know me child, always know there is more to learn. Even my children who sit in front of my face don't know the full extent of who I am. I promise you there will be new things you will learn about me everyday for the rest of eternity, I'm endless."
Wow, I have absolutely no words as I process that.
'Since we are speaking of promises, did you see I talked about the promises you gave me yesterday with Grant?'
GOD smiles. 'Yes, I did. Continue to share that with others. I will fulfill that promise to all who believe.' (A/N this is real message from GOD, well it all is but these are his exact words!)
'ABBA if you don't mind me asking why do we have to believe in order to receive things?'
'When you believe you are actually relying on me. If you are just asking for something, and not believing, who are you relying on? How can my power possibly work through your life if you don't know its source. What is the point? What would you have learned? How would you grow stronger? How would you get closer to me? Where would the glory go?' GOD answers, by throwing questions back at me.
'That makes sense.' I say enthusiastically.
I think about more things to ask him, and there's one thing I really want to know. 'ABBA as loving as you are I don't see why you would ever send one of your children to hell.'
'I'm glad you brought that up. A lot of my children believe that if one does not believe in my SON JESUS on earth, I will send them to hell. The fact of the matter is I love you way too much, I gave each of you a very significant piece of myself. You are apart of me. How could I possibly cast you away for all of eternity? The Bible tells you my holy love is unconditional, casting you away forever because of your disbelief seems very conditional to me. If even a fraction of your heart desires JESUS He will meet you the rest of the way, and I will forgive your sins. Do not get me wrong, you can not just waste your time here on this earth and do bad things, because you know I will forgive you. There will be great consequences if you do that, and you will disappoint me greatly. You must find me and work to your full potential during your life on earth. If not you will not receive your awards in heaven, and you will be sent back to earth until you reach your full potential. Even after all of that you still will not fail, no matter how long it takes one day we will all be together forever.
I try to process all of the information I have just been told. 'You still want Christians to tell everyone about JESUS right?' I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I want clarification.
'Yes of course! Never stop doing that, My SON is the TRUTH the WAY, and the LIFE. I will be very disappointed with anyone who has knowledge of him and does not share it, and they will not receive their reward. Whoever comes to me, comes through him. I am him, and he is me. He is EVERYTHING. By believing in him you are spreading great salvation, and power.
'What are the great consequences GOD?' I ask curiously, recalling what he said earlier about great consequences.
'You would not understand them sweetie. All you need to know is it does not involve casting my children away from me forever.'
I sigh in relief. I think I knew this subconsciously all along. 'GOD that was very powerful information, I hope I remember it all.'
He laughs. 'You will, when you need it. It will all come floating back to you.'
'GOD you mentioned the rewards we get in heaven a lot. What are they?'
'There are so many I couldn't possibly tell you them all and have you understand. They are so much greater than what you have ever known. I reward my children who do my work an eternity times more than what they ever did for me. It's definitely worth it. '
'So if we don't do your work we don't get rewards?' I ask.
'Let's put it this way, the more work you do the more rewards you get, and the prouder you make me. If you just go through life without me, you did not reach your full potential, and you will be sent back to earth to live again until you get it right. But you must know, every time your soul has to come back to earth it suffers great pain. Having to leave my immediate presence leaves great unbearable longing in your soul. That is one of the reasons you retain no memory of heaven on earth, you would not be able to live soundly. You would always be distracted, and in distress. You should try your absolute best, and work hard so you won't have to come back to earth again.'
'Thank you so much for sharing this with me ABBA.' I tell GOD sincerely grateful.
'No problem, now always remember to share my divine messages ok?'
'Ok.' I say proud to take on the task.
'One more question GOD. A lot of your children want to do your work, but are afraid. What advice do you want me to give them?' I ask thinking about Lexi, and myself in the past.
GOD smiles. 'Tell them they have much more power than they think they do. There FATHER is GOD. I am always with them, and it is more important for them to have me on their side then the world. The world will one day pass away, but I am with them forever. Fear is not anything, but a mind trick from satan. They can overcome it with diligent prayer, and determination. I am always there, and when they are afraid they should always seek me. I understand it will take a while to develop this mentality, but they should never give up. It is better to take baby steps in the right direction, then to not move at all or go in the wrong direction. They should always keep pressing forward, even if it seems like they are not going anywhere. I have more patience then they will ever know. They are much farther then they think. They must know I am so proud of them, and who they are destined to become.'
I give GOD a hug. 'Thank you for always being there for me! I know everything you are saying is true.'
He plants a kiss on my forehead. 'No charge, you are my child.'
GOD and I continue to talk, but we focus on much lighter subjects. We laugh, and I have an amazing time like I always do when we spend time together.
My phone chimes, and I see a message from Durk.
Durk: You and your family are still coming over right?
Shoot! I completely forgot that we arranged to have dinner on Saturday night at the party. Luckily I already told my parents, and they agreed.
Me: Yeah! Let me just go make sure everyone is getting ready. We'll probably be there in about an hour and a half.
Durk: Cool ;)
I let a small laugh, Durk always felt the need to put a winking face in his texts. I'm not sure, but I think it's his way of flirting with me.
I leave my room, and help prepare my family for what should be a very interesting night.
~~~~~~~
Hey Readers!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it was a truck load of information, but I hope you learned a lot. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask, and please SHARE your opinions :) I wanted to acknowledge a very special co-author of this chapter. He is all powerful, all mighty, and your Daddy! Give it up for GOD!!!!👏👏👏 GOD helps me write all my chapters, but especially this one. It was inspired by a real conversation with him, come to think of it they all are lol. Please comment and vote! I hope you all are doing well! Remember GOD bless, and you are too cute and sanctified to be stressed.💁 Love yall.💚