•Flashback from 4 years ago•
Sungjae searched around the huge and crowded club, filled by swaying and intoxicated bodies of people who seeks for fun and excitement.
He saw a familiar man sitting on a chair connected to the counter of the bar, drinking what could be his vitamin for the night. Probably his medium to get himself away from the nightmares of the reality he's in.
His stomach is trembling and all he could think off was a way on how to remove all the anger in him. The anger that slowly consumes him into someone he never thought he would be capable of.
Sungjae knew what he did earlier to Joy was so wrong. He almost hurt her physically knowing that she's in the sensitivity of pregnancy. It added fuel to the fire of his fury and he hated himself for that.
But he also hates Joy.
For cheating.
For doing something strongly forbidden once you entered a relationship. For making Sungjae feel as if he's not enough. For hurting his ego.
Sure, he might have said words that he's not yet sure about, things that he might regret in the future. And that's why he came there, to chase down answers that hopefully will come to the better side. To know the truth behind those enraging pictures.
And to still hope that 'maybe', just maybe, it could be a mistake.
"Mingyu," Sungjae called the younger man who immediately looked up to him.
"Hyung!" He greeted him and bowed to him. The sight the older and former fellow trainee which Mingyu respects a lot. Maybe Sungjae used that respect to get Mingyu to tell him where his friend is. Sungjae can see Mingyu's stiff posture but Sungjae could care less. He didn't even greet him back.
"Where's Hanseol?" Asked Sungjae and Mingyu was so scared of his dark aura. It's the first time he saw him like that.
Yook Sungjae is indeed scary, his head turning to different directions as if he's very ready to devastate his prey.
"H-hyung," The younger stutters, there's reluctance in the male's voice making Sungjae look at him again, his eyes burning with the desire to make Mingyu talk as quick as possible, "Are you sure about this, I mean you're an idol and there's a lot of peopleㅡ"
"Where the fuck is Hanseol?" He asked again, impatient because his hands are shaking to hit the said guy.
Mingyu sighed before giving him the key on one of the private rooms of the club, the one he supposed where Hanseol is. Without second thoughts, he snatched the keys and with raging knuckles he went to the second floor of the club.
Maybe it's the urgency that made him find the room quickly. His thoughts are a mess, full of ways on how he should ruin the fucker who kissed her girl.
He kicked the door, the keys completely losing its use because the door opened, revealing Hanseol who's alone in it. The table is full of beverages that haven't touched yet while Hanseol is staring blankly somewhere down.
Sungjae didn't waste any time and greeted him with a strong punch straight to his left jaw. Hanseol fell down from the sofa, shocked of the scrutinizing pain the punch left him, as if his jaw broke.
"ASSHOLE!" Sungjae yelled, running towards Hanseol who can't even move from his place on the ground. He grabbed him by the collar and let loose of another punch right straight to his eyes making him fall again.
Sungjae forgot the word mercy. He was out of control and he's like a beast coming out of his tormenting cage which build up the anger in him and now he's going to release it.
Sungjae placed himself on top on Hanseol, giving out punching sprees until his own bloodㅡ which came from the cuts he got from punching Hanseol, mixed together with Hanseol's blood.
Sungjae's face is like Hanseol's, full of blood. The only difference is that Sungjae's blood are still inside while Hanseol's are flowing like a mad river outside.
What made him more aggravated is that Hanseol isn't doing anything, "WHY AREN'T YOU FIGHTING BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He grabbed him tightly by the collar, the screams he let out is going along with the beat of the music which made him feel more angry.
"ARE YOU ONLY GOOD AT DOING THINGS BEHIND MY BACK HUH?! BASTARD!" Sungjae's lips are quivering violently.
Hanseol just smiled.
He smiled even though he looked like a loser being under Sungjae and covering himself with his own blood. He smiled.
He might look like a loser but Sungjae, Sungjae looks pathetic.
"FUCK YOU!" Sungjae growled, his madness gradually grows and he doesn't know what to do anymore. He felt more stepped down even though he is beating the hell out of Hanseol, "What are you smiling at, you piece of a shit?!"
This time, Hanseol chuckled.
The chuckle which will probably hunt him during his nightmares.
Choking and coughing because his own blood blocks the air pathways through him, with red filling his vision and his face hurting like it will be removed out of his body, Hanseol managed to speak.
Stuttering, he said, "Tell me, how does it feel to have something important stolen from you?" Hanseol cackled, as if he's making fun of Sungjae.
"I'm going to kill you!" Sungjae shouted and started beating Hanseol up again. Hanseol is not even fighting back because there's no reason to fight back anyway.
Sungjae's eyes darted to the table and saw loads of bottles. He grabbed one and was about to smash it towards Hanseol's head when his members, Peniel and Minhyuk suddenly showed up. Stopping him to whatever crime he was about to commit.
ㅡ
Present day:
Joy didn't understand what Sungjae said. Instead she stood up from the seemingly awkward position she's in which is on Hanseol's lap. Her cheeks are probably burning but she ignored it, "I don't need your apology. Stop coming hereㅡ"
Sungjae cut her by signaling her to stop talking and even though there's a burning desire in him to make the people in front of him to suffer, he stayed calm, "Right, it is indeed a bad decision," Sungjae ridiculed, "Sorry,"
His eyes went towards Hanseol who's now standing. Sungjae didn't expect him to look scared with beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, " 'Sup, Bud?" Sungjae questioned, sarcasm full in his voice.
Joy was lost, she didn't know of Sungjae knows Hanseol or he's just being the arrogant jerk he is, "Don't involve him here," Joy said sharply. She felt the need to protect Hanseol from someone as dangerous as Sungjae.
Sungjae had a funny expression on his face and he can't tell if Joy was trying to smart him out or just being plainly stupid but either way, he continued his talk, "What do mean he's not involved?" Sungjae chuckled and Joy wanted to to punch him for being rude.
"So how was it, Hanseol?" Sungjae turned his attention towards the guy again, the danger in his voice is coming like sharp daggers, ready to slit anything that spits blood and pain.
"Wait, you know him?" Joy asked again but none of the two guys who are fixed of the intense staring game they are in answered.
Hanseol looks like he turned into someone mute. He cannot talk, he don't want to talk. He wanted to beg to Sungjae and also to apologize but Joy is there. It was a hard situation.
"We got a pretty unusual exchange there, you know," Sungjae continued. He just wanted to hurt them and make them feel like shit. He want them to feel what broke him. "I mean, I got what's supposed to be your group and popularity and you got what's supposed to be my family,"
Joy couldn't swallow up the informations that are being thrown away like it was nothing important when it literally means her whole life. Her hardships and what seemingly like a never ending pain .
"W-what do you mean?" Joy asked again.
But Sungjae's attention is still fixed towards Hanseol, a deadly smirk on his lips, "I remembered you telling me how you finally understand how crazy I am for herㅡ"
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?!" Joy exploded.
Sungjae's eyebrow knitted, "Huh?" He was startled by Joy but nonetheless, he wanted to make Joy hear these words again, "In case you forgot, you cheated on me, with him," He said it in a way which he emphasizes the disgust in his voice.
Joy's eyeballs are suddenly shaking as her eyes darted towards Hanseol. Hanseol couldn't even look at her even though he can feel her gaze towards him.
So that's why.
So that's why he was so kind and caring to her and her daughter and why the first time she met Hanseol, he was awfully familiar. He reminds her of different colors of lights dancing visibly in a very dark place as smoke sways together with them.
He reminds her of a claustrophobia. But she ignored it.
Because for someone who's eager forgot her past, specially the dark ones. Seeing him again after a year, she couldn't remember him anymore. And the pictures. Joy never got to see them. No, she doesn't want to see them and just be reminded of something she did to ruin her own life. She don't want to slapped by her own self, it will be too painful to handle.
Her eyes turned back to Sungjae who's watching them with now confused eyes. The anger is still undeniably visible.
"Did you ask him that?" Joy questions and her tone demanded an answer.
"What? That you two cheated on me? Yes I did," He answered as if it's nothing.
"And you believed him?" There, Joy showed the most vulnerable state she could be. She was so hurt but at the same time she's also felt as if people are playing her and that she's not to be taken seriously.
And these two guys, the one she loved and the one she's learning to love, proved her that she was indeed a nothing.
Sungjae was silent upon seeing Joy's aghast expression but he pushed towards his thoughts that she's only being dramatic.
"There are pictures," Sungjae fired back.
"Oh! Right," Joy replied, she's unbelievably damaged but for these guys, she seemed nothing. "You and your pathetic belief to what the media says," She scoffed.
"There are pictures, Joy," Sungjae said again.
"Alright." She said. Her head is throbbing and as much as she wanted to lash out to the two guys in front of her, there's someone she must protect.
"Yes, Sungjae. I cheated on you, with Hanseol and now we're a family," She asked, "It seems to me that it's what you've been wanting to hear from me. Are you happy now?" She said weakly and then run out of the office.
The space Joy left made something visible towards Sungjae.
Joy and Areum's mother and daughter portrait.
ㅡ
first, calm down.
second, i know there's so a lot of errors. free to correct.
third, i know y all are confused of but just wait.
lastly, I love you!