The Daughter ↬ SUNGJOY [EDITING!]

➳ forty-one

He expected it, Sungjae knew Joy won't give in that easily. And he's nowhere near complaining, if anything he's thankful because Joy said she'd think about it.

Although there's like 10% of Joy saying yes, he's going to give it a try.

Another thing is that he knew he's not yet worthy of meeting Areum. He's got nothing in him to brag about to Areum, and as long as he can recall, he's still a disappointment for Joy and Areum.

He's eager but he's not ready yet.

Sungjae's already learning his lessons and suffering the consequences of his bad actions. He knew to himself that decisions resulted by anger will never give a good outcome so he's gonna wait.

It's really going to be a long painful process but once Joy approves, it's all in him. He just needs to make the most out of it.

If Joy approves...

Because honestly, if Sungjae wants to be a memory for Areum, he'd like to be something that is beautiful, easy to look at. Fluttering to heart, earning a smile on her face whenever she remembers him. Someone that is delicate, trustworthy and comfortable to be around with. And easy to love, like a father for a daughter, a natural thing to do.

And if being an unknown stranger will enable him to do things for his daughter, he'd take all the chances in the world just to see her happy because of him. Remembering the time he wasted without Areum, he could just grimace. He could've been there, watching every period of her babyhood, seeing her grow and change and just be there, but he wasn't.

The ugly feeling consuming him and he's got nothing to blame aside from himself. It's too much for an already broken heart like him.

Knowing that for Joy, he's pain, anger and regret. For her, Sungjae's a heartbreak and all the other words to describe such hideous feelings. It's all on the other side, hopeless and undeniably hard to change.

But change is inevitable and so as development which is a continuous process.

He will surely change, it will take time but who is he to complain again?

He's not even trying to make Joy love him again because heaven knows he won't be good for her. He doesn't want to see her sad or crying upon remembering the memories he gave her.

Forgiveness that's all he wants.

Because surely, they can't be together anymore.

Flashbacks of how he dreamt of a beautiful home with him, Joy and their child, Areum, came down in his train of thoughts and also being slammed by the fact that it's never gonna happen.

That him and Joy, they can't be together because Joy loathes him.

Sungjae hasn't given much attention to his feelings to Joy anyway. Maybe because he knew there won't be a room for such feelings so it's better not to even dare and dig deeper.

But denying won't give him peace so he's just gonna accept the fact that it's there.

Zero percent chance but it's okay. Let it stay there because it's always been there anyway.

He will never push it, never plan on pushing it but let it stay there because it's a nice feeling.

Sungjae could only sigh.

The three of them would've been great together but he guess, those will only happen in his imagination.

So when his parents drop him by to the training center, his dad giving him a warm hug and his mom, although crying, gave him the most sincere kiss on the forehead.