➳ fifty-one

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Joy's deep slumber was snatched away from her when the doorbell started ringing inside her house. The aching in her head didn't leave unnoticed as well as the vomit urging to go out from her throat. On the first moments, Joy's memory was blank, she couldn't remember anything. Her attention is all towards her aching insides.

Once she came to her senses, Areum is the first one to enter her mind. Then last night's happening came flashing back inside her head and all she could think of is that Areum and the mothers are outside her house while Sungjae is deep asleep on her couch.

Damn.

The headache and vomit seemed to vanish and all she could think of is to run towards the living room and wake Sungjae.

This can be a huge confusion to the mothers, and specially to Areum. Seeing her Eomma and Policeman-ahjussi inside the house together will create so many questions inside the little girl's head. Joy's still not in her right mind to explain everything.

And it's definitely not good to feel this stressed after being wasted last night.

To her surprise, no one is sleeping on her couch. There's no evidence of Sungjae being there a while ago and that reduced so much stress in her.

Joy tried to make herself more presentable by dusting her clothes and quickly brushing her hair using her hands. Joy told her post-drunk self to focus, she wouldn't like Areum to see her as a mess. That would be no good.

When she opened the door, the first thing that caught her eyes is Sungjae standing infront of her while the surrounding is still dark.

What time is it?

"Hey, sorry for waking you up," Sungjae started, he's scratching the back of his neck and not being able to maintain an eye contact with Joy.

He's shy?

"It's fine," Joy replied, "What is it?" There're many questions she wanted to ask but that is the only thing that came out. It seems like they're back to being awkward.

"Here," Sungjae handed a small plastic bag, "It's for your hang-over," he continued in small voice, I would definitely cook you a hang-over soup but that would be weird for everyone, Sungjae wants to add.

Without hesitation, Joy took the plastic bag because she's positive she's gonna need it, "Thanks," She said, "You went out for this?" Joy asked.

"Ah yeah. I woke up at 4 in the morning and thought that we both need them so I went out to buy. I locked the door when I left so I can't get in again. Sorry for waking you up," Sungjae explained.

It's true. Joy felt the ascending beats of her heart. She felt touched with Sungjae's consideration that she let a smile form on her lips, "Thank you," That's probably the first time she spoke to him while feeling utter comfort. It's nice to finally smile at him after 5 years.

Sungjae, feeling that finally he accomplished something for making her smile like that, was also able to return a beautiful smile, "Sure. By the way I'll go now. I have my duty today," He said and waved a hand because maybe, they're on that stage now.

After several years, it's finally the time for a comfortable way to say goodbye. Goodbye that doesn't mean let's not see each other again but a goodbye of knowing they'll meet again later. Maybe that's the best goodbye.

"Bye," Joy also waved her hand, "Take care,"

Okay, so maybe Sungjae blushed a little that's why he hurriedly turned around to leave. He's on his last step on the stairs when he heard the door shut.

A proud smile made it's way to his. He's thanking the responsible side of her beery mind for letting him set an alarm clock at 3:30 that will continue to ring for 30 minutes.

All that Joy blabbed last night about Areum and the mothers coming back tomorrow (that means today) at an early morning light really bothered him. He doesn't want to create a havoc if they see them together.

Sungjae can't do that to Joy.

So he really made his drunk self to make sure to wake up before they come. So when he did and the headache struck him, he thought of Joy again and as much as he would like not to wake her up, there's no way leaving the house open is a good idea too so he settled on pressing the doorbell until Joy woke up.

And that smile. Like a prize he's been after for so long, he got it. Although he didn't expect it to be soon such as today, he's not in the right position to complain.

Joy is Joy. She's kind, her personality, her heart, her intentions and up until now he knew he doesn't deserve it.

He's being sincere, yes that's true. He's doing his best to be forgiven, that's also true. Even though Joy is slowly opening up to him and trying for a fresh start, even though he's okay for Joy now.

Sungjae is not okay about himself. Self-doubt and self-blame still haunts him in his sleep. He still hate himself and he will never forget what he did.

He thought he'd carry that for the rest of his life but he remembered last night, before he completely passed out, Joy whispered to him.

"Forgive yourself," she said.



Short but I'll try again :(

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