(ARE YOU KIDDING ME SERAPHINA RIVERA?! NO! I AM NOT KIDDING, THIS IS ANOTHER CHAPTER! YOU'RE SO WELCOME. I EXPECT A BILLION VOTES AND COMMENTS.)
[Nathan's Point Of View]
I still had nightmares about that night. I started normally like every other dream; I was running down an empty street with no cars, no people and no light. At the end of the mysterious road a figure appeared. It was Leo. His back was facing me and he was staring up at something in the sky that I couldn't see. But like always, he turned around with a smile on his face. It made my heart skip realizing that I was the reason he was smiling. Leo turned away once more and ran inside the building next to him. It was the club.
The club was packed with dancing bodies. I couldn't even remember walking inside, but somehow I was. The music was loud and chaotic. None of the words were comprehensible. They were just voices mumbling in the song.
I spotted Leo in the middle of the dance floor with a single red light shining down on him. He looked so beautiful.
My steps were loud as I made my way over to him, passing through strange bodies that I did not recognize. He stopped dancing when he saw me and grabbed me, pulling me with him into the red light. Inside the red light, I could not see anybody else, even though I was positive that they were still there.
He danced again, moving his body with the music, letting his eyes close to let the sounds take over his senses. I took advantage of this moment to watch him without feeling strange about it. He was wearing a see-through tank top. Leo's body type was lean and smooth. The tank top made him look seductive, especially with the way he moved. He was charming me and I couldn't look away. His body looked incredible through the holes in the shirt and I wanted to touch him, feel how smooth his skin was, how warm and wet he was from the sweat of the workout.
In this moment, he was a being of sexual temptation and I wasn't going to bite the apple, so I stepped back from the light.
The music stopped and everyone froze. Their dead eyes were on me.
"Why are you looking at me?" I asked them.
I got no response.
Leo still danced like the music never stopped. He brushed his hand over his face, sensually dropping to the floor, his eyes still closed. I wondered if the music still played in the light. Everyone was watching me like they were angry at me. Maybe they wanted me back in the light with Leo.
But I refused, no matter how Leo danced, no matter how he looked at me.
When my eyes landed on Leo again, he was staring at me now, just like everyone else in the club. I stepped back as an uneasy feeling took over, turning my skin cold and making the hairs stand straight.
Black water came rushing in through every hall and door in the building. I held on to a pole as the water came crashing against me, trying to pull me with the current. The water swirled in a circular motion around Leo but never touched his spot on the dance floor.
The longer I held on, the stronger the current became, until I couldn't beat it anymore. My hands slipped and my body submerged in the water. But it wasn't water.
The water inched closer to the light and carried me straight to Leo. I jumped out of the water, gasping and coughing after the burning sensation in my throat. I was back in the light with Leo and the water was circling us so I couldn't leave again. Without thinking, I attacked Leo and embraced him, shutting my eyes and hoping everything would go away.
As Leo wrapped his arms around me, I felt my body instantly get dry. Something changed. I opened my eyes and found myself on a bed, hovering over Leo. Feeling the warmth shape of his body underneath my own made me feel like I was melting. My thoughts were scrambled and I couldn't think straight. His body satisfied me and made my own feel incredible. He looked into my eyes and pulled me closer till our bodies were one. Through the touch, I felt loved. Leo loved me. I could see it in his eyes and in the way he whispered my name.
"Nathan." Leo's voice echoed heavenly.
His voice drew me in closer and I kissed him. I became lost in his touch, in his voice. He soothed the bad memories away and replaced them with his unconditional love. For the first time in my life, I felt like Leo wasn't seeing through me. His eyes were on me and they were sweet like honey.
"Leo, I-I lo-," I hesitated momentarily but picked up where I left off and finished proudly, "I love you."
The smile Leo had disappeared. His face froze like a statue. He wasn't looking at me anymore. Then as my hands trailed down his naked torso, my fingertips left a trail of black ink. His body began to darken until everything I touched was black and gooey. Leo's body dissolved into a puddle of black ink. He was gone, and from his remains, something sinister rose and grabbed me, pulling me into the madness, leaving me screaming in emptiness until I woke up in the real world.
There was a loud knock on the door and I almost fell on the floor trying to untangle myself from the bed sheets. I still somehow managed to fall down, causing a loud thump that was heard in Texas.
"COMING!" I yelled when I realized that was probably not Leo, since he had a key.
I was going to have to write myself a reminder to never take another nap. It didn't feel good to wake up after that. Those types of dreams made me feel nauseous. Maybe talking about them would help, but who did I have for that? None of my friends understood me and I was not going to talk to Leo about dreams that involved himself.
Whatever. Like always I'll forget I even had the dream until next time.
"Yo," I said when I opened the door before knowing who it was. I cleared my throat when I saw it was some dude I've never seen before. He was pretty cute. "Heyyy."
"Hi." He laughed as I leaned against the doorframe. "Are you Leo's roommate?" He had an attractive accent.
"Yeah. What's up?" I asked as I crossed my arms–not because I wanted to amplify my muscles or anything.
He lifted a bag for me to see. "I'm dropping this off. He told me to leave it on his bed."
"Oh, is he coming back late?" I asked as I let him in.
"He said he was going to work a few more hours."
"Just put it on his desk," I said, pointing to the right side of the room. Leo's desk was in front of his bed against the wall with mine being on the other side of the room across from it. "What's your name? I've met all of Leo's friends but I've never seen you before."
"My name's Dakota. I'm Derek's friend. I just live close by and he asked me to give this to Leo. It's food." He placed the bag in the corner away from all the paperwork and laptop.
"Oh. You think he'll be mad if I eat it all?" I asked, smirking at him as I looked inside the large paper bag.
"Derek or Leo?"
"Leo."
"Yes. That's a yes. He literally drooled."
This guy was friends with Derek and lived all the way down here? I wasn't aware Derek even had any friends around here. He rarely came down to visit and when he did it was only because of Leo. I wondered if this Dakota guy was gay. Derek wasn't known for being cool in the gay crowd, at least from my experience.
"My name is Nathan, by the way," I told him, offering a fist bump. He looked down at it and stared back, confused. "If you leave me hanging I'm gonna start crying. Don't embarrass me like this, man."
"Don't do handshakes?" he said, laughing as we collided knuckles.
"You don't want to shake my hand."
He raised his eyebrows. "Did I interrupt a jerking off session?"
My face dropped. "Why does everyone always assume that? Do I look like a masturbation addict?"
He laughed again, but this time more awkwardly. "No, you just look . . . uh, yeah."
"I just woke up from a nightmare," I mentioned. "Forgive me for not being presentable enough for you."
"If you say so," he said tauntingly.
I threw my hands in the air dramatically. "You caught me! I was jerking off! Still want to shake my hand?" I said sarcastically as I offered my hand.
"Sure, sounds lovely."
I snorted. "Weirdo."
"What happened to your arm?" he asked.
I looked down at my cast. I had forgotten I even broke my arm. Now that I was giving it attention it started hurting again.
"Fell and broke it."
"Can I draw something on it?"
"Yeah, sure," I said without hesitation. "What do you want to draw?"
"Do you have a black sharpie?" he asked.
"Check Leo's desk."
As Dakota searched the desk, I laid back on my bed with my feet on the ground. This suddenly turned into a horrifying surgery in my head. I spread my arm out to give him more space to draw whatever he wanted. He didn't seem to want to tell me, so I was expecting something really embarrassing to be drawn on it.
Dakota came back and sat next to me, slouching down as he pulled the sharpie's cap off with his teeth. He wasted no time and began to draw while I looked away; if I saw that it was a dick then I might not be able to stop myself from jumping away and I didn't want to do that and give him a bad first impression of me. I was not a rude boy, I was a good boy.
"How long have you known Derek?" I asked.
"Not very long. What about you? How long have you've known Leo?"
I wasn't surprised Derek hadn't told Dakota about me. To Derek, I might not even exist. He probably found some sci-fy device to wipe all memory of me from his brain. If Derek and Dakota became friends recently, then I understood why he wouldn't talk about me. I didn't blame him. I would have done the same thing.
"Five years give or take?" I said, unsure.
Leo and I met before I even started college. I used to tag along with my friends to parties and I'd see him around sometimes. It wasn't until like the tenth party that we had our first conversation. He intrigued me immediately. Everything that came out of his mouth was so weird and that was only before he started drinking. Eventually he stopped coming to parties and even found myself looking for him at times. I learned pretty late that he was gay and his group of friends stopped coming to these parties because they were just full of unrelatable straight people.
The second time was Leo's first time actually meeting me and remembering it. It was a sort of theme party for LGBT students. Everyone came to the party, but before entering there was a table outside with stickers that you wrote on and put on your shirt. You had to write your sexuality and gender expression. There was even a board explaining many of them for people who weren't sure what to write. I first wrote cis, then struggled writing bisexual because I wasn't out at the time, so I chickened out and wrote heterosexual instead. No one thought it was funny and no one talked to me because of it, but Leo did.
It seemed like forever ago, but without Leo I would have never found the courage to come out. Even in an LGBT party I was scared to be out. I thought people would make fun of me or not take me serious. I still remembered how Leo made me feel being there. Even though everyone ignored me, Leo saw me and had this look in his eyes like it was okay. At first I thought he could tell that I wasn't straight and was trying to reassure me that I didn't need to come out until I was ready and comfortable.
I still believed that to be the truth. Even if he wasn't aware of it, Leo had this amazing aura around him. He was special.
We spent all night talking and even had to move to the backyard with the creepy pool to get away from all the noise. That was the night we became friends and we haven't looked back since.
"That's a long time," Dakota said.
"Yeah, we're best friends."
Dakota stopped drawing. "Best friends?"
"Yeah? Like friends, but best."
He rolled his eyes. "I know what it means. I just thought . . . his best friend was gay."
"Bisexual people exist, too. Also what?"
"Shit! I'm doing it again," he said, slapping his forehead. "I'm sorry, I have this bad habit of stereotyping gay guys. I blame my parents."
It was my turn to laugh awkwardly. I was a bit confused why Dakota thought that Leo's best friend was a stereotypical gay guy like there was something wrong with it. Everyone loved a good ole flaming homosexual and a closeted self-hating-internally-homophobic-macho gay.
"I'm not gay, I'm bi."
"I did it to Derek when I met him," Dakota admitted, going back to drawing. "I honestly thought he was straight when I first saw him, but when I first saw him he was also being dragged away by some pervert who drugged him."
I blinked. "What?"
"Yeah, I know. Lucky I was walking home that night or I wouldn't have spotted them leaving the bar. I came in so fucking hard and punched the guy in the face. I basically saved Derek and that's how we met."
"That was really nice of you," I said, but I was numb. Did Leo know about this?
"I deal with a lot of people on a daily basis, but I've never met someone like Derek. I mean, he really went through it, didn't he?"
"What do you mean?"
"All the shit he went through with the break up, the hospital, and the other thing."
What did "the other thing" even mean? He seemed to know more than I thought he did, but did he know everything? And if so, was he talking about these things knowing who I was? I noticed he tensed up when I mentioned I was Leo's best friend. Was he trying to make me feel guilty by reminding me about Derek?
He didn't even need to do that. I already thought about what happened almost every day. Derek had issues, we all knew that by now, but I respected Derek and I liked him a lot. What happened hurt him more than anything could. The problems between Derek and Leo were never a lack of love, but a lack of communication, understanding and patience. Derek loved Leo more than life itself, but that right there was the start of a toxic mindset that both of them had learned. You should always take care of yourself before you give what barely you have to someone else. Then I made everything worse.
Leo made me stop blaming myself but I still thought it anyway. It was my fault. I was the one that fell for someone I knew was taken. It didn't matter that we were drugged because I was already so drunk on love that when it started happening, I truly believed he wanted me. I was in my little fantasy world while Leo was probably imagining it was Derek. It hurt me, but the hurt was never greater than the pain I put them through.
"Yeah," I responded.
I didn't notice Dakota finished drawing until he got up. "Well, I better go. It was nice meeting you, Nathan."
I sat up and felt lightheaded from just laying down. "You too. See you around, Dakota!"
"Hope you like my drawing," he said as he walked out. I waited until he was gone to finally see what he did to my arm.
He wrote a joke on the cast that read "Why do demons like blondes?" with a demon tail going through the question and the answer. The answer was "Because they're hot." And right under that was his phone number.
That was the stupidest joke I've ever heard but it didn't fail to make me crack a smile. It still left me a little confused. Was he saying he was hot because he was blonde and I had demon tattoos? Or because I was hot and blonde? Or maybe that we were both just hot blondes. Was he flirting? Why did he leave his number? This left too many unanswered questions. But the demon tail was really cool. I was surprised with how much detail he added with how little time he used. He must be a pro artist.
I saved his number on my phone and thought about sending him a message, but decided on doing it later when I wasn't feeling down. The conversation with him didn't leave me feeling better than when I had woken up from my nap. It wasn't his fault, though. Just something I've had to deal with every day.
I climbed back to bed and sent Leo a Snapchat with the caption "Going to sleep early, don't wake me up please."
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[Author's Message]: I have a bone to pick with a few of you guys. I am EXTREMELY tired of certain rude comments aimed at my characters, and sometimes even myself, because of the things that are happening. I don't know what you guys expect when you're reading a book, but when you read my books, it's not going to be jokes, sex and cute scenes every single chapter. Of course I am going to add drama, I'm going to add things that shock you, that make you mad, cry, upset, laugh and every other emotion in the book. I don't appreciate the rude comments you guys make towards Nathan, Dakota or any other male character in this book. It says a lot about some of you when you're straight up hating and sending DEATH THREATS to a character that doesn't even exist! A character that I created to be kind, loving, nice, selfless, who deeply cared for Leo and chose to hurt himself for years instead of revealing his true feelings, UNTIL HE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. You don't pick who you love. They're all caught up in a spicy mess but at the end of the day, this character is PURE. He did not rape Leo, he did not abuse him, he did not use him, he did not take advantage of him, and some of you have the audacity to ARGUE with me over this. I am the author, I created this, I am TELLING you what is the deal, you don't get to tell me I'm wrong. If I say my character has blue hair, you don't go and tell me it's actually pink.
I hope you all have a wonderful day and stop with the unreasonable hate. Enjoy the story.