Want Good or bad Drake?
Song: I knew you were trouble by Taylor Swift.
. . .
Drake
I could barely have any thoughts about anything. My mind was swirling with all the revelation. This felt so unreal, like it was a dream and not a harsh fate.
If I had said my thoughts out loud, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Maybe this girl holding me closer to her would have been mine.
Maybe everything would have been too good.
But who knew these few months could fūck you up so much that you couldn't hold on to anymore.
But who knew these few months would be devastatingly unfortunate.
Who knew these few months could be the death of you.
Fūck. I was feeling vivid again. I knew I was causing a lot trouble by my silence but I couldn't help myself. I was drowning and I couldn't find anything to hold on to. I was alone, nobody to save me.
I was breaking inside, the many reasons being the cause. I lost everything I loved and held so close to me. What did I ever do to get this cruelty?
This was never my choice. I never wanted to get into an accident. I was so drunk, whacked and in the state of breaking that I didn't see the approaching truck. Before I could do anything, the pain had me dieing and I was caged in the pit of darkness.
But it was gone.
Voice, gone.
This was making me numb. By each passing minutes, I was enraged to see any musical instruments in my room. It was reprimanding me of my lose. Rage was over my senses so much that by the time reality coursed my veins, I realised what a mess I had done.
I had destroyed my most prized possession. Like a bucket of cold water poured over my head, I made my dreams a mess and it was too late to turn back.
I had the sudden urge to drown myself in the darkness, succumb in the vacuum until I couldn't take it anymore. Drenched in the bathtub, I made myself a wrecked mess, a mess that was beyond repair.
So much mess in my life.
No matter how much I tried to help myself, it was only pushing me further. There was a crushing pain in my chest that wouldn't stop and I knew my love for everything wouldn't work even if I tried to.
My head throbbed. I slid my arm over my left knee and pulled it tighter against my chest, trying to ease the pain there. But it didn't seem to happen.
Fūck. It only ache more.
She was here with me. Her hands looped over my neck, rocking me back and forth soothingly, I nuzzled deeper into her embrace, feeling my body going lax.
She always helped me.
But I knew there was no next time. She was someone else's. She loved someone else's and not me. The thing I tried to keep up for so long finally set free, wetting my cheeks.
I was so fūcked. I didn't want to break in front of her. She had seen me before but I didn't want her to see me now. Not just this time.
"No, Drake. You didn't lose me." I heard her whisper. My eyes shot open when the realisation sunk in.
She was startled when I jerked back, a small gasp escaping her lips. What was she trying to tell by that? I didn't lose her? Was she doing what I think she was doing?
No! She could not just do that. I moved away from her and the tension settled between us. Small beads of sweat formed on my forehead and my breathing became heavy. She let out a silent cry, shaking her head, like she was trying to control herself.
I was destroyed. Devastated to be exact. But that doesn't mean I could make her the same. That doesn't mean I could take her love away. I know I was helpless but I didn't ask her to do this. Even if it was someone else, I would never make them to do this.
My mom never taught me to be selfish, though I was raised without holding my father's hand. I didn't even get to meet him. He died before I was born. Fūck. Another dark reality to swallow me. This wasn't the right time for that.
Did she think that I would let her sacrifice the man she loved so much because of me? Did she think I was that selfish to snatch her love?
Did she pity me that much?
How can she think so low of me?
She moved herself, slowly as to make her way closer to me again. I raised my hand before she could reach, my jaw clenched at her words.
You didn't lose me.
"No!" I bellowed and she flinched, panic filling her eyes. "Don't fūcking do this, Ava." I gritted and felt a sharp pain running right on my throat. A rage like never before was taking over me, I felt different all of a sudden, I felt worse.
With my eyes bloodshot, I pried myself off the tub, stumbling over the edge. Her shaky hands held mine but I pushed her away, just like I would push her out of my heart.
How can she fūcking think like this!?
I groaned when the pain increased, my body felt limp, unable to drag myself. I panted heavily and started to loose my vision. But I tried to keep still, I wouldn't black out now. I had to shake some sense into her.
A hand was placed on my shoulder whilst the another cupped my face, forcing me to turn around. By now, I was half sprawled on the floor, my back rested against the wall. I wanted to push her away again but she locked my movements with her gaze, not allowing me to move an inch.
Her eyebrows were pulled in as she scooted herself closer to me. I closed my eyes at the unsettling fading of the pain. She was helping again. Shıt.
"How can you think of me like that, Ava?" I broke the thick silence. My voice was rough and unclear. "Do you really believe that I would let you do this?"
She shook her head, biting her lip as her head went downcast in shame. I felt the burning of my eyes as I continued to make a crack on my heart with my words.
She looked at me, "Your Drake is not that selfish to break your heart, Ava. Fūck, I could not even think of that." I told her and a small smile cracked at the corner of her lips.
I wish I could smile, too.
I took her hand in mine, "Promise me?" I asked and she blinked back.
"What?" Her voice was raspy.
With every fibre of my being, I answered, "Promise me that you would never utter this kind of shıt to me. Promise me that you would never leave the man you love for anyone. Even if it was me, Don't ever do this."
A tear fell from her eyes and she nodded, "I promise."
She wrapped her arms around me and I kissed her forehead. Tiredness spread throughout my body and I could feel the prick in my eyes. Because only this time, the fūcking tears fell from mine.
I gulped, feeling the complete breaking of my heart. I couldn't find the pieces, it was shattering far away, so far away in a distance where I could never reach.
That broke me even more. There was a time when I gave it to her and there was also the time where she didn't even realise that she owned my heart. And then, I knew I could never give my heart to any other women, even if I wanted to.
She owned it.
She kept it.
And now, she broke it.
To keep our friendship alive, my love for her had to sacrifice.
. . . . .
Ava
I closed the curtains before pulling placing a soft kiss on Drake's forehead. I pulled the comforter over his sleeping form and went out of the room.
I walked down the hallway and found Tristan was helping Diana in the kitchen. From the look on their faces, I knew they heard nothing since the walls were sound proof.
Tristan was smart. After breaking the lock of the door, he left the room by himself to give us some space. He knew exactly when to leave and when to not. And, he knew that he should distract Diana before she could hear anything regarding her son's breakdown.
It wasn't like we were keeping her in the dark by hiding her what Drake was going through. She had every right to know each and every movement of her son. It was just that we didn't want her to stress even more by this. It was better that she didn't know any of this.
I smiled as I neared them, feeling the delicious aroma filling my nostrils. I realised I hadn't eaten anything properly. Diana served the dishes for us on the table and looked at me with concern itching her facial features.
"How does he seems, now?" She asked hesitatingly. Diana and hesitancy? Okay, This was a news. Diana was a kind of woman you would never like to cross paths with. She was always the bold, strong and confident woman with power and money. Seeing her like this, had me almost to choke on my food.
I composed myself, placing the utensils down and held her worried gaze. I gave her an assuring smile, "He's better, Diana. He is sleeping, now."
I saw her letting out a rushed breath, smiling down she continued to eat. Tristan squeezed my shoulder comfortably and I gave him an small smile.
After the dinner, Tristan took his leave while I decided to stay at Drake's home. Diana said she had already talked to my mom about me staying here for tonight.
When I started to go to the guest room, I heard Diana's voice behind me.
"Ava, Would you mind if I take five minutes of yours?" She asked.
"Sure."
She gestured me towards the couch and I followed suit, sitting across her. Her expression was imperious. Damn, I could say I was a little scared of her, now. Yes, she had that affect on everyone. She could make you shiver in fear under her crucial gaze without a word.
I was fidgeting when her smooth voice caught my attention, "He loves you."
I hitched. She knew?
It was like she heard my unasked question. "Of course I know, Ava. I'm his mother and A mother knows everything about her child."
I bit my lip and nodded. It felt awkward to talk about things like these with her. I mean I never thought a day like this would come where I will be discussing about love with Diana.
Life is filled with surprises.
"I just wanted to ask you," she paused and pursed her lips, "Do you love him, too?"
Jeez, I knew this was coming. What was I even expecting? Today or tomorrow, this had to be cleared.
Life is filled with confusion, too.
"You don't have to lie to make me feel relieved. I want to see my son's happiness in everything he loves. So," she stared at her watch and looked up, "2 minutes and 36 seconds left. Just tell me what you feel."
I could never believe that Drake was her son. There were too different to relate. I had the sudden urge to dig myself a hole and hid there for the rest of my life. You just have to tell the truth, I said to myself.
I straightened my back and cleared my throat, "Yes, Diana. I love him like a friend..." I looked down at my hands and continued, "And, I would always do. I would always have his back, even if there was no one for him. I know this has happened because of me. I could not forgive myself for this ever. Losing his voice was a worst nightmare but past couldn't be changed. But I promise I will do anything to help him to come up from this phase of his life. After all, he is my best friend. And, I promise this best friend could never let anything or anyone to destroy her friend."
I could almost feel Diana's face splitting smile.
. . . .
As soon as I closed the door behind me, I fished out my mobile and fell on the plush bed. I could hear the fast thumping of my heart as pressed the call button in the dark room.
I gathered my hair on one side and placed the phone next to my ear, waiting for the call to be answered. I was on the verge of sweating when the ringing tune almost went dead but was picked up in a second and I was greeted by the voice I was dying to hear.
"Tigrotto," I breathed out, closing my eyes, I let my head fall on the pillow, my heart racing with comfort I never experienced before.
He made me feel good. Too good.
Neither of us talked for a while, just enjoying each other's silent company. There was nothing you could hear except the beating of our heart and our calmed breathing.
"Tigrotto," he repeated after what felt like forever.
"Hmm?" I hummed in reply.
"Did you eat?" He asked, his voice was a little huskier than usual or was it just me.
"Hmm," I smiled.
I think I heard a faint tearing noise of something but I ignored it, I didn't want to ruin this peaceful moment.
"But I'm hungry."
"Then eat something." I said lazily.
"I don't think I have it here."
"Mmm hmm, what do you want to eat?"
"You."
I jerked in a sitting position as heat crept up my neck, I felt hot all of a sudden. I was panting, shivers running down my spine. I pulled the comforter and wrapped it around me.
I held the mobile tighter just in case if it was about to slip because of my sweaty palms. I could feel him smirking from the other side.
I gritted my teeth, "You really have to do this, no?"
"What?" He feigned innocence. "I don't think I lied about anything."
"Fūck you for this."
"That I will."
My mouth fell open at his words. How can someone be so smooth? Didn't he get my sarcasm? I felt my breathing getting shallow again.
"Urgh! Stop!" He burst out laughing. I rubbed my heated cheeks, unable to stop the grin that spread on my lips.
My smile turned into a frown as I remembered what happened today. I was almost giving him up, my love. Just thinking about had my heart to nearly stop.
When his laughter died, I called out, "Aaron?"
"Yes, tigrotto?"
"I miss you." I heard a sigh from him. He didn't tell anything back and I didn't push him either. I had promised to wait for him, and I would.
Then, I remembered what I promised to drake today. My heart was in a steady pace and It had everything in me to say this to him.
"Aaron?"
"Hmm?"
"Please don't break my heart."
. . . . .
I'm just going to hide somewhere before anyone shoots for the late update.
What do you think about this chapter? And who loves my poor baby Drake for this? *cries*
Well, amores, Since I'm evil, I was thinking if I should give a sad ending or happy ending? *evil laugh*
VOTE:
#Aarova by aimanaaiman
#Avon by imaimacoolgirl
Honestly, I love both the ship names. So I leave it upto you to choose one. Put an inline comment next the names and let's see who wins!
And finally, SWTM stands #20 in romance! I'm so happy! I love you guys!! Thank you so much for your support.
I'll take my leave now.
Until next time.
Lots of love, Raaz xoxo