Ava
I was tapping my foot impatiently, my nerves getting anxious with each second the clock ticked.
"Faster, Aaron," I muttered and he hummed, firing the ignition as the car roared to life. I'd thought this speed, this roar, this screech of the car would calm me a little like it always did, but this time, it didn't work. All I could think was my best friend.
He was hurting himself.
That sentence repeated continuously in my ears, reminding me of my mistake.
I shouldn't have left him.
I sighed. I didn't have any choice. I was happy, very happy but it has already ruined. I wondered why he was hurting himself, something must have been off, I had to take care of it.
I felt a hand on my knee, stopping the tap of my foot. I fell back in my seat, closing my eyes, I let my senses to calm by his touch. Aaron gave me a squeeze, that gesture was what made me to calm a bit.
What once cars did, has now being done by Aaron.
"Why is this happening?" I asked to myself which seemingly was heard by him. His gaze fell on me before focusing on the drive.
"Everything's going to be okay, tigrotto. Your friend will be alright." He assured. I wish if I could predict the same but sadly, the thoughts of seeing him hurt made me uneasy to the point where I could break myself.
After all, it was my fault.
He squeezed my knee again, "I don't want you to stress too much," he said, making me to bit back a smile that threatened to creep on my lips.
"Why are you smiling?" He looked confused.
Guess I failed to hide.
"Nothing," I lied, he was already making me feel giddy with one simple sentence. But damn me, if it was Aaron who said that, it wasn't simple, not even a little bit.
He eyebrows knitted together but he chose to ignore, even though he knew I was lying.
He always knew.
When the car came to an halt, I quickly unbuckled the seat belt and kissed Aaron's cheek, hugging him tightly. He hugged back, his arms wrapping on my waist.
There was a kind of warmth in his embrace which was so welcoming. I loved the way he was holding me.
Firm yet gentle.
Easy yet secure.
His scent enveloped me and all of a sudden I didn't want to go. I wanted this, I needed this. But then, I remember that my friend needed me and my face fell.
Why was it so hard? Is this how Tristan felt every time when he has to leave Clara?
I cleared my throat, starting to feel disappointed. My voice was low and hesitant, "I'll see you...later?" It was more like a question.
He nodded, "Later."
. . . .
As soon as I entered Drake's home, I was met by Diana, a horror expression covering her flawless face. I could tell she didn't have good sleep from the past weeks. She looked old.
Her gaze fell down and she murmured, "Lorraine left but He is still not opening the door." There was so much sadness laced in that tone of her, I felt suffocated.
I nodded and ran upstairs, fear clawing my heart. My palm started to sweat when I came to stand in front of the door. I knocked at the door lightly, hoping he would open the door.
"Drake..." I called out softly.
No answer.
"Drake, open the door. It's me..." I was trailing off by his silence, almost breaking.
He had never denied me for anything, he promised that he would always do what I wanted. But today, he wasn't. He was breaking the promise.
"Please, Drake. Please?" I pleaded but I was met by silence again. My hands fell down in defeat but I would not leave him. I would not give up.
He can lock himself for all he wants, I'm not going to leave this place.
I slid down against the door and pulled my knees closer to my chest.
For once, I wanted to forget that he loves me.
"Fine. Don't open the door. Come sit your ass next the door at least," I said. I could almost hear the faint sound of him walking near the door. I smiled to myself.
"Remember the week before my 16th birthday, we had a fight, so, you locked yourself like this. I was sad that you weren't talking to me the whole week. I thought I did something wrong and you were punishing me by this. I thought you wouldn't surprise me at 12 midnight in my balcony with your special 'bread with nutella' cake, like you did every time. And even you did it almost on all my birthdays, I was always surprised and was the most happy girl."
There was a huge smile on my face while I was talking. I cherished each memories of us together. It was so much fun, I wanted to go back to childhood. Why couldn't we just stay small and never grow up?
I could feel him behind the door as I continued, "That night on my birthday, I was waiting for you to show up and forgot to sleep because why would I miss my favourite moment?" I laughed to myself.
"The clock was about to strike 12 and I was worried by your absence. I started to think you wouldn't come that night. I thought you were still mad at me. I was on the verge of crying when you jumped inside my room through the window and surprised me with the special cake. But on that birthday, there was another thing in your hand."
There was a Scrapbook in his hand and a small car made of paper. It was filled with memories. Beautiful memories. It had everything we did, picture of our first lunch together, picture of the first snowman we made and what not.
Most girls play with dolls but I used to play with cars, they were my possession. I was more happy by seeing the paper car. It wasn't perfect but the way he had done it was what I loved the most.
I couldn't help but smile.
Suddenly I wanted to go back to those days when we were small.
"That was when I realised why you locked yourself in the room. You gave me the most special gift, Drake. On that day, I fell for my best friend even more. I love you so much, Drake."
I heard a sharp inhale from the behind. Was he crying?
Before I could say anything, the door opened and quickly stood up, facing my best friend. His face holding a very sad and defeated look.
"And then, I sang your favourite song. But I don't think I might be able to do the same this year, or ever, Ava..." he trailed off, his voice was rough and unclear. My eyes widened by the realisation.
He knows, he fūcking knows.
My smile turned into a frown and my mouth opened in a silent cry. He was breaking. I couldn't see this, it was getting hard to breathe.
It's so fūcking hard.
"Why didn't you say this to me? Why was I kept in the dark for so long?" His questions were just making me dizzy.
He moved fast, taking the guitar, he smashed it against the wall. He hit it until he was satisfied. He didn't stop, he continued to break every musical instrument which was present in his room.
I let him break all of them, even the new guitar that our group presented. He flipped the rack and all the necessities, the hooks, fell down. The strings rolled around the speakers.
Never in my life I thought this day would come where Drake has destroyed everything that were connected to music.
His most prized possession were now a mess.
A very unrealistic mess.
I saw him breaking his dreams and breaking himself.
He groaned, grabbing his throat as he fell down near the couch in the corner and I rushed to his side. He clenched his jaw, like he was in pain.
I could tell he was trying not to fall apart, not to break. His one pained look had me sick mentally. He was not looking at me, his eyes were set hard on the things he destroyed.
A tear slipped past ymy eyelids as I wached him sitting here, immobile.
No, please no.
This shouldn't be happening.
"L-look at-- me.." I stuttered but he didn't even blink. I cupped his face and forced him to look into my eyes. I jerked back, My heart squeezing painfully at the emptiness his eyes held.
It was excruciating.
I covered my mouth to silence the noise of my cries. His eyes were on me but he wasn't looking at me. It was like he had shut down himself and didn't want to see the world. More tears fell while there wasn't even a single drop forming in his eyes.
I was getting scared. My legs wobbled as I struggled to move near him. I couldn't find myself to stop from crying. My heart thumped fast, like it was ready to rip off.
I encircled my arms around him, shaking him violently. I was trying to shake him back to reality. I didn't understand where was he lost.
This was only reminding me of my mistake. My fault.
"Drake! Are you listening to me!? Stop being like this!" I screamed but he wasn't moving. I was scared by every minute which seemed to stretch like forever.
Suddenly I remembered how nurses handle their patients who get depressed into their darkness. They used a method to bring them back to reality.
I didn't think twice. That was exactly what I did.
I slapped him. Hard.
I slapped him back to reality.
He eyes snapped up, confused and shocked. His eyes flared and he growled, "Leave me alone."
I shook my head frantically. I didn't want to hurt him, I would never mean to. He was quick in his pace as he dragged himself to his bathroom. I tried to stop him but he pushed me away.
"Drake! Please stop!" He slammed the door shut. I hit the door continuously but it didn't open.
"Open the door dammit!" I yelled only to be met by silence.
I heard the running of water and banged even more but he was not opening. I felt tired by all the efforts I did, there was nothing left. My hand were shaking when I called Tristan, he answered immediately.
"Hello?"
"Tris- Tristan, Please come to Drake's home as soon as you can." My voice was cutting off.
"I'm coming." Was all he said before the line went dead.
"Drake! Open the fūcking door! Why are you doing this? Please listen to me!" A sob wracked through my body and I sprinted downstairs in search of Diana but she was no where to be seen.
I wiped the tears and waited outside for Tristan. The cool air swept past me and goosebumps pebbled all over my skin. Few minutes later, a car pulled in front of me. Tristan parked the car and I gestured him to follow me. My head was spinning with everything that happened. I told him to break the bathroom door.
Will all his masculinity, he banged his body against the door while I was chewing on my lip, too worried of what Drake was doing in there.
The door finally broke and we found Drake in the water filled bathtub. He sat there as if he didn't hear us entering the bathroom. He has shut down again.
It hurt so much to see him emotionless. Tristan froze, shock written all over his face. I knelt next to him and took his hand.
"Please don't do this," I begged, my head falling down as I shook with every sob leaving my body.
His stared at me; something flickered in those irises which I couldn't decipher. Finally he opened his mouth and the words that left broke my heart.
"I lost everything. I don't know what I have left in me. It is breaking me, Ava. I'm drowning and I feel like there is no one to help me. I lost everything, my voice, my dream and... you."
I closed my eyes and was met by tantalising blue eyes, gazing at me with an emotion which was unpredictable. I didn't think enough, I wrapped my arms around his neck and let his forehead to rest against my neck.
"No, Drake. You didn't lose me."
. . . . . .
Well amores, here you go. I'm not very confident about this chapter, I'm sorry!
Still, What do you think about it? What will happen next?
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Until next time.
Lots of love, Raaz xoxo