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We sat together at a low key cafe by the corner of the mall. Zach sat next to me while Margaret was sitting on his opposite side. There were not many people and I could only spot three other people sitting in the cafe, one of them having their laptop as company and the other two chatting over a coffee. Zach ordered a black coffee while I got myself a fresh juice. Margaret had already made herself comfortable with a huge latte and a half eaten grilled sandwich. I caught the baristas glance and knew that she recognized Margaret. Maybe he even recognized Zach.
Zach and Margaret seemed too calm and it scared me.
"Thanks for coming here." Margaret said. Her eyes seemed tired and her brown hair was in an elegant low bun. She wore normal looking clothes to my surprise, a blouse and loose jeans. It probably made it easier for her to fit in.
Zach took a sip from his extremely dark coffee. "No problem. What's your business with me?"
I chuckled from his response and got some quick stares from them. I was just surprised that he treated this like a business relation, as if it was weird that his mother called him out. They ignored me and turned back to each other.
"My business with you is to give you an apology. And I also want to apologize to you, Audree." she said with a serious face that had no sign of anger like she usually had. Zach and I were in complete shock, staring at her as if she's an alien. Margaret realized that we weren't going to say anything until she did and continued. "I've been thinking about you, Zach. I just had enough of fighting with my children, and I want to make up with you before it's too late."
"Like with David?" Zach said. Margaret looked at him with stunned eyes. I had never heard that name, but figured that it wad Zach's brother who died. Zach still hadn't talked with me about it, but I didn't want to push it or make him remember such a terrifying incident. Obviously, they hadn't mentioned his name ever since in each other's presence.
After a killer silence, Margaret finally woke up from her shock. "Yes." she calmly answered.
It was awfully quiet and I didn't dare to butt my way into their conversation. I was wondering why I was there, as I had no involvement in their past. I was probably only serving as Zach's moral support.
"I still dislike having you hang around those neighborhoods." Margaret mumbled quickly, trying to not sound like a whining mother.
"I don't go there anymore." Zach said and then turned to me. "Because of Audree." I smiled to him and grabbed his hand under the table.
Margaret was still so calm. "I'm happy to hear that. What happened to him was an accident and I don't want you to be in one either."
"Since when did you become so open about your feelings?" Zach changed the topic. He on the other hand was not very open about his own feelings toward his mother. Zach was too proud to admit defeat. But is it really defeat if your opponent proposes to co-operate and reveals all of their information? Soon it would only become pathetic for one to act like an enemy and sad for the other side. They needed to meet halfway.
"I've been speaking to a therapist lately. He's cleared up my mind a bit when it comes to my relationship with you." Margaret explained. "I realize that we are too stubborn with each other."
"Maybe so."
I took a sip from my juice and felt the orange spreading its flavors all over my taste buds. It tasted good, but the bitterness between these two somehow seeped into my drink. I grew aware of my ability to read auras at that moment and watched Margaret intently. She was so calm. I couldn't describe her better than that. But I couldn't see anything happening to her aura. I turned to Zach instead and hoped for better results, but it was the same. I couldn't expect something to show from Zach, but I was always able to read Margaret's aura before. Were they purely not thinking or feeling anything or was I not focused enough? I never needed to focus on reading auras before. Why would I need to do it now?
All my thinking was probably to them a moment of awkward silence. Margaret was the one to refuel the conversation. "So how are you lately, Zach? What's really happening in your life?"
Zach slightly chuckled. Was he surprised by hearing his mother ask him about his life? "I'm just fine. Better than ever. I have Audree by my side. She's happy to have her movie premiere in three months. I love living in the technology free Kandred, while temporarily staying in LA for the weekends. Everything's great, mom."
It all sounded quite forced, but I knew that he meant it. He wasn't used to actually answering Margaret's questions without trying to defend himself.
"That sounds great, Zach." Margaret smiled. She seemed genuinely happy to hear that.
"I guess." he answered. What I thought would follow was more and more silence because of Zach's stubbornness, but he finally seemed to give in. He understood that it only felt horrible to not be on the same page. "You?"
Margaret's eyes started to wrinkle up as her whole face lit up in a smile. "I've been well. I've been taking a break and it has helped me relax a bit more."
"Are you going to be at the premiere?" I asked Margaret. Her attention was directed to me and for a slight moment I could feel my whole body freeze to ice. I was still frightened of her temper and couldn't take in the fact that she was embracing her calm self. It felt like she'd blow up any time.
"I am. I don't usually do it, since I've always been so busy but this time I feel like going. I want to work less and have more time for me and my family from now on." Margaret looked at Zach with big eyes before continuing. "And maybe get the chance to retake custody of Zach."
We both were shocked to hear that and looked at each other. I wanted to say that it would be weird since Zach has been on his own for a while. But we were both only children after all. A year had gone since I had met Krystal and started to pursue acting. We were both 17 and soon we were going to turn into adults. Would it even matter for Margaret to gain custody of her son, who within half a year would already be free from it once again?
I couldn't say that I didn't understand her thoughts. She didn't care of the legal rights concerning Zach, but she wanted to live with him again and gain his trust. She wanted to have a family again.
The question was whether Zach was ready to grab this chance. Maybe he'd take it and regain the wholeness of having a family again. Or maybe Zach had completely lost hope for his mother and his trust for her. Margaret could after all be tricking him to take back what was once hers. She is is an actress after all, it is her full time job to trick people into thinking that she is someone other than herself.
"Why?" I asked in the nicest tone I could find. I didn't want to offend her, but her offer was after all full of different possible motives. It was either deceiving ones or genuine ones. And Zach refused to answer or even react to her request no matter how many stares I gave him. He kept his head low, staring at his black coffee that was simmering in the cup he was holding. Wasn't it hot?
I diverted my attention back to Margaret. Her relaxed face had lost all the wrinkles that would instantly pop up whenever she furrowed her eyebrows in anger. I couldn't see anything bad about it. I couldn't trust my ability in reading auras in that moment, but I could trust my instinct.
She opened her mouth but then closed it again. Why was it taking her so long? I entertained my intolerant patience by tapping my knee with my fingers. "It's just that... I'm really sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you, Zach." she said while looking at him and then turned back to me. "Or insult you. You've been a good influence on Zach."
I smiled faintly to her, but didn't want to give her too much hope. I wasn't the one to take the decision after all.
"Zach is my only boy now, and I want him to feel safe having me by his side. I do not demand that you forget what has happened, but I only want us to get past it. I want to have my son back with me.
"I'm turning 18 soon, mom." Zach said. He finally lift his head to look at his mom. "Even if I decide to go back, I will be an adult on my own in a couple of months."
"I don't care about that. You can do whatever you want when you're an adult, but turning 18 doesn't mean that you're perfectly fine on your own. Even when you've turned 18, I will offer you my support in whatever it is you want to do. You can stay with me, but you can also go somewhere else if that's what you wish for."
"What is your gain in this?!" Zach snapped. He pushed out his chair and stood up dramatically. I grabbed his arm and signaled him to calm down. He returned to his seat and Margaret seemed to take his sudden outburst quite well.
"Gain." Margaret mumbled. She slowly slid her hand across the table and placed it on Zach's. "There's no such gain for me. All those times I've been trying to control you... I was consumed in my acting career. Anything can impact my career but I never realized that those don't matter. With my rising career, I lost you on the way. You know what? I'm getting older and older and I don't want to wake up some day only to wonder why I pushed away my wonderful son."
"You just want me so that I can take care of you when you grow old?" Zach snapped again.
"No!" Margaret shrieked. "I would never do that. I want to rebuild our relationship. You are free to do what you want, but I want you to think of me as a mother and not some crazy woman who's mentally tortured you while growing up. Zach... I don't demand an answer for now. Just think about it."
Zach looked at me with a confused face. I nodded to him.
The waitress was already picking together the chairs and tables, looking at us with a meaning look. The cafe was closing up, so we got out of our seats to take our leave. "I guess I will see you at the movie premiere?" Margaret asked me. I nodded.
"What will you do until then?" I asked. Zach was besides be, listening to our conversation with a lacking focus.
"I'm getting old, Audree. I think it's time for me to slow down and prepare for my retirement. Maybe focus on taking smaller roles instead to lighten my schedule." Margaret chuckled. "I'm available anytime if you want to meet me." she said while looking at Zach. He didn't listen. "See you."
I waved her good bye and headed to the opposite way together with Zach.
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"Audree, what the hell are you doing in there?!" Zach shouted while knocking the door. I accidentally poked my eyelid with the mascara I was holding and cursed.
"I'm doing my make-up, and you completely ruined it!" I yelled and opened the door. Zach seemed stressed out but released all the tension the second he saw me. I grunted and walked back to the mirror to check the damage while he backed and fell into the bed laughing. "This is not funny!" I annoyingly mumbled.
"It's your fault that you're taking so long." he answered. "The premiere is starting in an hour and we need to go now if we want to make it in time."
"It's okay to be late. There's going to be a line there anyway." I cleaned up my terrible mistake and removed some foundation and eye shadow that was already applied on my eyelid. I sighed in disapproval when checking the empty lump on my eye lid. "Are you done already?" I asked Zach and looked at him. He was wearing a tuxedo that fit him perfectly and he had also managed to do his tie well. He didn't answer me and kept tapping on his phone. "Zach?" I cried out. He finally turned his head, knowing that I despise it when he ignores me when using his phone.
"Sorry, babe. I'm texting with mom."
I could remember the day Margaret apologized to Zach and me and wanted to regain custody of Zach. He didn't go back to live with her, but they were closer and talked on the phone regularly. It felt like it was only yesterday Margaret had called us over to the café, but three months had already flown by and we were finally ready to go to the movie premiere. My first movie premiere. They were really quick with all the editing and marketing, but I refused to get my hopes up even if the prodigy producers were the ones creating the content. I was naive to think that I would rise as a star on my first official job and I believe that there will be more hardships to come. There hasn't been any more jobs coming in for me since I'm quite unknown in the business. It worries me, but I can only hold myself together and hope for the best. After this movie, there would be more opportunities after finally having shown my face on screen.
"What is she saying?" I asked Zach, directing my attention back to him.
"She's just talking about education and stuff." he grunted. During the time I was working and worrying about whether I'd become a full-time actor, I had started thinking about how spoiled I was when I started out. Mom was generous in a way that gave me freedom and she didn't force me to attend school when I started acting. I was the one skipping school, so she didn't really have a say in it. Even if acting was the only thing I wanted to do, I realized that I need a back-up plan. I had checked some online courses and applied to them for the next term, but I didn't know anything about Zach's plans. I had talked to him about getting an education since he had nothing special to do during the days and that it would be rewarding. Margaret seemed to like the idea too.
Convincing Zach was a whole different concept. He seemed to listen when I tell him about how important it is, but he never really takes the next step. Zach is so accustomed to his every day life by himself and he still hasn't gotten used to living with his mother. "Are you going to apply to anything?" I asked.
"I don't know." he mumbled and tapped an answer to his mom. I hated it when he was unsure. You can't help it, but sometimes it feels like he doesn't even try.
I was done correcting my make-up and got out of the bathroom. "Let's go. I'm ready."
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Everywhere I went, there were cameras blinking, flashing and blinding me. I was wearing a gown that Anna had chosen for me using funds from the agency. Recently, Anna has been extremely annoyed of Andrew in a weird way. She finds every possible excuse to drag him out from the room to scold him about something that doesn't even matter.
I stood together with Zach on a platform that gave the photographers a perfect opportunity to snap a photo of us. We stood there for what seemed like an eternity and then we moved on when Margaret entered the platform to have her photos taken. She seemed like a professional when it came to having the spotlight on her. She posed perfectly and she never blinked. Margaret probably had great photos on her all over the magazines, while I's get shots with a lazy eye.
I turned to Zach and forced a smile. He returned it but then noticed how restrained I looked. "What's up?" he asked me and squeezed my arm. I shook my head.
"It's nothing. You look really good." I said and looked at Margaret as she struck pose that made her legs look like they were miles long. I ought to remember that move. She was standing on her toes, despite already wearing heels, while her right leg was slightly bending forward.
"Are you sure?" Zach said. I hated it that he couldn't see what the problem was. He was extremely dense and I hated it. Or maybe I'm the one who is stupid enough to think that he's able to read my mind.
"Hello my little birdies!" Margaret's voice chimed as she approached us from the platform. She had gotten quite friendly ever since we started hanging out more. I'd come over to their house on a daily basis to eat dinner with them and sometimes I'd sleep over and join Margaret for breakfast. She's taught me a lot about exercising and we do yoga together. She'd call me little bird and sometimes, Zach was also a part of that nickname. I quite enjoyed being friendly with Margaret.
"Hey, Margaret!" I hugged her and squeezed until she started pounding my back. When I let go of her, she turned around to face Zach.
"What's with the long face? This is Audree's first movie premiere, so you need to cheer up!"
"I can't, because Audree won't tell me why she's mad at me." Zach mumled and looked at me with expectant eyes. I refused to tell. I didn't know why, but I preferred to stay mad at him in silence than to tell him and finally solve it. Margaret gave me a look that seemed to scold me for not being honest. She knew why I was mad and she had also taken a part of trying to persuade Zach into going back to school. Even if I had her help, he didn't seem to take any hints. Margaret on the other hand, did not support my methods of not telling him why I'm being all upset.
"Young people." she muttered.
"What?" Zach said.
"You better find something to do or this little birdie will get tired of you." Margaret sighed while patting my head. I felt annoyed and happy at the same time; annoyed that she revealed the reason I've been mad at him and happy that she was the one to do it and not me. I slowly turned to Zach to see his shocked face.
"Is that why you have been talking so much about me going back to school?"
I nodded and looked away. I didn't dare to look at his face. Was he mad at me, or would he cave?
Margaret saw a chance to escape when Henry appeared behind us. She grabbed him and led him away from us while he looked at us with brows furrowed. "I want to talk to Au-" Henry said, but Margaret hushed him.
"Leave the youths to be." she giggled and then their conversation faded away.
"I didn't know it was so important for you." Zach mumbled. "I've... gotten accustomed to the way I've been living the past year. It feels like it will be hard to go back to school. It never really went well at Kandred either."
"Education is important." I say, feeling like a lame parent. "You should at least finish high school, you know."
"Says the one who dropped out some months ago." I suddenly felt a wave of aggression towards him and he probably noticed it, given that he took a step back.
"I have been busy. You have been playing around." He had only been moping around the last three months while I've worked and tried to find jobs. He never showed any intention of going back to Kandred or school. "And I've applied to an online course after summer."
"Why are you so freaking obsessed about this? It's my life!" Zach snapped. I saw the regret on his face immediately after he said it but he still held on to it.
Without thinking, my hand was on his. "It is. It feels like I'm drifting forward while you are staying where you are. I'm working towards something, while you stay at home without any goals, Zach. Do you understand me?" I explained while looking deep into his clear eyes.
"I get it. I've been thinking about it too." he said.
"Please, just do something with your life, Zach." I pleaded, even if he seemed convinced. He nodded.
"I'll check some schools when I get home. Or jobs." I returned a smile and hugged him. I heard some photographers snapping our photo while hugging, but I didn't mind.
I hugged everyone who had come to support me. Among those were my mom, Roxannah, Krystal and Darrén. Mom looked gorgeous, all made up and wearing a sparkly dress. The photographers went crazy for her, even if she never appeared on the red carpet. She did look nervous though, but I didn't know if it was because of her return to this world or the possibility of meeting dad. Right before the premiere, I saw them exchanging looks. No one approached each other, but they had a warm glow in their eyes.
Zach and I joined Krystal and the others, talking about everything from this very movie to the life in Kandred. Everything seemed so exciting over there, as they were all soon going to graduate. They were all preparing for the graduation and I was in no part of it. I was fine with it though. I had my other callings.
When we finally entered the huge globe like cinema, I could hear the giddiness in the air. Everyone from the filming crew was here and we were all nervous of the final product. When it started, I lost myself into everyone's acting and the way everyone's role played. Even the angles that the cameramen carefully chose and the transitions from the next scene to the other. When it all ended, everyone gave our work a standing ovation. Zach hugged me and whispered into my ear how great I was. The curtain fell and covered the screen, while everyone cheered.
I had so much before me. Everything from a rising acting career to a happy life in Kandred with Zach and my family and friends. It all felt dazzling. I felt amazing. And so different from before.
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Finally finished! I have mostly been freestyling SMLITBD and The Dark Blue, so it has gotten a bit messy, but thank you everyone for sticking around!
I've moved on to my next work, Outcast, that is much well worked and much less freestyled. It has a different narrative and style in general so I hope that you guys can see the improvement. I will also make it downloadable for all ebook lovers (since I'm one of them), but this is for when I am done with it. Don't worry - you have my word that this one will be frequently updated.
Do check out my new work Outcast!