| Seventy Two |
* * *
ARIANA
~
I guess this was it. We were over, Harry and I.
This was only yesterday but I already feel empty, I felt something missing. My mind was all over the place, I felt lost.
I knew it was the right thing to do, after all, he hurt me. You cannot excuse that behaviour. Nothing should result to violence. But I knew deep down, that wasn't who Harry really was. He wasn't an abuser. He wasn't an evil person. Liam's talk made me even more curious to Harry's past, his trauma. As said before, it doesn't justify his actions, but at least I would have an explanation to the way he is.
I wanted to just forget about all this, I wish it didn't happen. Nevertheless, he must face the consequences, I need time apart, I need to be certain about what I want, if I feel safe.
Today was another long day. Passing Harry in the living room and seeing the hurt obvious in his bloodshot eyes. It just tore me apart.
It was better. For both Harry and I. Harry was deeply troubled. He needs to focus and better himself. It's important for the sake of his health.
*
I woke up the next day. Earlier than usual because of work. I found a new job, at a l new restaurant. I couldn't work in the same one Luke had helped me get, I am sure I would not be welcomed back and I felt undeserving myself. It would be unfair to him.
I change into the work clothes they had given me, feeling anxious. I always felt my nerves rise when I started a new job. I tie my hair into a neat bun and dab on some make up. When I finish, I step down the stairs quietly and made some breakfast. After organising everything, I left.
Sitting at the bus stop – waiting – I wonder why I was still living with Harry. I needed to seriously consider this situation, about moving out. It was just a struggle, I couldn't afford to move right now. Whilst moving in with my Aunt was another option, it was less favourable. I didn't want to be a nuisance as much as I knew they would always be happy to take me on.
After the bus had arrived, the journey was rather simple and short to the restaurant.
"Ariana Lynch?" A lady smiles.
I nod.
"I'm Sarah Watson, come with me," She smiles.
I follow her and she gives me a tour of the restaurant and further instructions. I was thankful of the experience I already had as it made things feel a little easier.
I begin my new job as the the restaurant welcomed the customers of the day.
*
I had been working for a few hours now, only having at least one more hour. Things so far had been alright, of course I'd prefer to be at home right now, but it didn't seem all that bad.
I keep a nice grin on my face as I bring over a group of welcoming customers their food.
Whilst walking back, I hear a voice.
"Ari?"
My heart stops as I shut my eyes and draw a deep breath. I slowly turn to see Harry sitting at one of the tables, alone.
"Harry?" I whisper.
I turn away, this wasn't the time. I didn't need this right now. I didn't want to draw any attention us, this was my first day. Why did he always choose the worst times to talk? I hear footsteps behind me, soon after feeling him gently grab my arm resulting in me flinching away.
"Please don't be afraid of me Ariana." he whispers in my ear.
He slowly wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a gentle hug. I don't know why I wasn't pulling away, I didn't know what to do. I was startled by all of this. I didn't want to make a scene.
After a few seconds, he moves back so I am able to see him fully. Words still couldn't spill from my mouth.
"I need to explain Ari... you have to let me."
I sigh, chewing at my bottom lip.
He took my silence to continue.
"Ariana please understand that I am nothing but sorry for what I did. I do not condone my actions, but I only ask you to forgive me for the actions to which I am nothing but deeply regretful for. I know you deserve better, but I promise you—"
"Excuse me Ariana, we are very busy at the moment." Sarah informs, looking between us.
I nod and look at Harry who is staring at me with pleading eyes.
"I need to go." I mumble to Harry, looking down at the floor.
He hesitates.
I watch him drop down to his chair before turning my head returning to the kitchen alone.
I refuse to turn around, feeling the pressure of my tears I forcefully push back.