The sun shined down on us as we stood, our bodies pressed together tightly, as though we were almost afraid to let go.
"I don't want you to leave." My shoulders lifted and dropped, I tilted my head, holding a firm grip on his T-shirt, probably leaving creases.
He nodded his head, running his tongue along the length of his bottom lip. "I don't want to leave you; I'm gonna miss you." His eyes, filled with despair, travelled through my hair that rested in my head, tangled. His hand came up between us, his fingers took a strand and rubbed it. "I'm going to miss this hair in my mouth every morning," He chuckled, I noticed his voice was hoarse. "I'm gonna miss waking up to the warmth of your body so close to me." He let out a sigh of grief. We both knew there was no way of stopping it.
I rubbed his chest with the palms of my hands. "You know, I think I'm even gonna miss your morning wood poking me in the thigh every morning." I let out a low chuckle, an expression of nostalgia that didn't last very long as the smile dropped from my face. Justin noticed, causing him to mirror my actions involuntarily. "You're gonna be gone for so long." I found myself cowering like a punished puppy as I avoided eye contact, feeling my heart become empty. I distracted myself by tracing shapes on his chest.
He took a firm grip of my wrists in his hands, causing me to look up at him. "Just because we're apart, doesn't mean I'm going to stop annoying you," A mischievous grin landed on his lips, filling my heart with joy. "Expect texts at three in the morning and invitations for phone sex every night." He muttered slyly into my ear. I instantly scoffed and hit his chest, causing his shoulders to lift in defence. "What? I need something to keep me energised enough to perform." He traced his tongue on the inside of his cheek as I sent him a warning look.
There was a silence, a silence we were both privately trying to avoid; the silences were filled with tension and even more grief, filled with ideas and theories going through both of our minds of what might happen while we're apart. I took a large intake of breath as I felt tears building up involuntarily. "I'm scared." I whispered, pulling him impossibly close.
"Everything'll be okay, princess. I know what you're thinking and I want you to stop; I want you and only you. I love you so, so much." I felt the pressure of his lips on the top of my head and I embraced it, and his words, gratefully. "Everything's gonna be okay. I'll fly you out to see me as much as I can, I promise." He smiled down at me, the world seemed to stop around us when he did so.
In front of the house, we continued to stand in each other's presence, our bodies only got closer together. The feeling of his hands around my back and the warmth of him felt like coming home, that feeling of your heart swelling and the sense of safeness and familiarity consumed me. But in reality, home was leaving me, and it didn't feel as comforting anymore.
"I love you." I muttered against his neck and remembered when I gave it so much attention I left deep,
purple marks that stayed for days. I suddenly wish I could go back.
"I love you too, baby." His chin dug into my head and it felt uncomfortable but I said nothing; I had all the time to complain when he was gone but right then, I had him in my embrace for one last time. "So much."
I could feel the eyes burning into our bodies as we tried to become one, and the sun was staring down on us with its hot gaze. We pulled apart and it felt like all of the heat had been sucked out of my body.
Nevertheless, I reminded myself that he loved me like I loved him, and he was helpless without me like I was helpless without him. We'd be apart but our minds would be connected - we'd be thinking of each other.