Sure, I never thought in my lifetime this would happen. Despite that, when it comes to people you care about there's a lot of sacrifices, right?
Who am I kidding this was far from sacrifice. This was absolute hell.
"Come on out Ace, I'm sure it's not that bad." A grin was evident in her voice. I was positive Lisa would be patiently waiting to observe the scene of Willow's flamboyant homosexual friend.
Keeping the act, I rolled my eyes while still in the dressing room, "I don't think this one suits me. We can come back another time.." my lips pursed.
As I stood in front of the mirror staring with disdain, the halter top came so low and tight on my chest I started to feel it expand as it squeezed. Coming inward, my shoulders were too broad so I was forced to scrunch together. The end of the dress stopped just below my boxers revealing muscular hairy legs. I had to go backwards ten steps to actually see the horrid sight practically draining my masculinity.
Beading wrapped around its midsection, almost sparkling if reflected properly. "Ace," Willow chided, "I'm sure you look fabulous. I want to see."
Rolling my eyes, momentarily frustrated, I had to put up atleast a little more fight. "The zipper won't even reach," I pouted/drawled.
"Oh do you need some help?" Lisa spoke for the first time since I had gotten into the changing room.
That sobered me up, "No, no its fine I'll be out in a second."
My polo shirt hung on a hanger in place. God how I ached to put it back on in that moment. "Are there a lot of people out there?"
"Not nearly as many as you think there are," I could already see that spirited smile across her face as she tried to assure me. That'd be a saleswoman for you.
Closing my eyes one final time feeling fully humiliated and helpless at this point, a shiver ran down my spine. The hair on my chest on full display and defined arms planted at the sides.
Before I could pull the curtain across I heard Willow's voice. "I'll just go in there, maybe he's had last minute thoughts."
Panic rushed through, no, no, no. This was not the plan. A quick glance and done. No intimate space shared while my man pride is kicked to the pants.... er....dress. The moment is already ruined then.
Quickly, my hands raced to the top of its outline and I pulled it down immediately to the ground. Hopping out of it in order to prevent a tear, the dress fell flatly to the floor and I was left in my american eagle boxers from last Christmas.
However, I was too late. As I tried to retrieve my polo shirt next, she was already present. The heels she wore from last night clicked further toward me and were grazing the outside. A small feminine hand tucked it back so no one else could see inside as she entered.
Instantly, my hands grasped the outfit to hide any protruding parts. When her head peeked in, I thought the doses of warm chocolate irises would pop straight out of their sockets.
Mouth agape in shock, her cheeks almost matched the pigment of the frock itself. Her eyes darted in embarrassment and she put an immense amount of effort into not meeting mine, shifting from one foot from the other. Almost frantic.
Clearing her throat, "I um, oh my, sorry—best be on my way," she chuckled nervously, a foot already in motion.
Funny how she thought this tension wouldn't be felt on both ends. As soon as her hand went to pull the curtain, "Actually," I initiated, "I'm going to need some assistance here."
That's when I took action and removed it from my skin. She put up a considerable amount of restraint, I could tell, to not let those curious eyes wander. Her head tilted toward the ground hiding that remarkable blush. A tinge of amusement made itself known for me.
Heels clicked in my direction; I felt her body heat and even in stilts her height was deprived. I smiled because underneath that innocent attitude was a grin beginning to show.
"I doubt you can help me looking down..." At that my index finger hooked under her chin and lifted.
They burned into my skin as they ascended upward. Suddenly realization dawned on me. Stiffening with dread and disgust. The tattoo, I thought. She would see, ask questions and everything would fall under just like what had happened last time.
Shockingly, Willow didn't observe with disapproval but...disbelief and amazement. My eyes were the ones that bulged at that and even though this lack of personal space was eligible to enhance desire, fear clawed at my entire being.
A shaky hand reached up steadily. I flinched not expecting such a heated touch. Willow's eyes asked mine for permission to continue. I couldn't hide the pain in my heart of my past clashing with my future. She was witnessing me bare; physically and emotionally. This invited a whirlwind of feelings and attachments.
"It's beautiful," she murmured to herself. My heart drummed erratically with anticipation. Why was she not running? Why was she not laughing or horrified?
"You're not... scared?" I had to reel myself in. Sure I was practically nude given a cover up around my manhood, but I refused to ruin it. I refused to take advantage of Willow's kindness for a personal gain or physical contact.
"Scared?" She said melodically. Her fingers traced around the outlines of it and it took every bit of my willpower not to shiver. "It's so mysterious and magical. Kind of like every piece has this meaning or hidden message that makes you want to automatically figure it out. Plus I never got a good look at it until now. Why would I be scared?"
My eyebrows rose in astonishment. Willow's eyes were still trained on my skin, burning a trail of scrutiny in it's path. I wanted her to look up, to know if she meant what she said. Her answer almost made me stumble with my words.
Ofcourse the real mystery behind it had been locked away. On the contrary, by itself I didn't know it carried a story in its wake.
"What inspired this?" Finally her eyes met mine. They swirled with an unreadable emotion; my stomach churned due to how intense the moment had gotten and how the temperature had suddenly risen.
"I...." My lips folded in, I uncomfortably backed away a few steps. Her warm breath blew on me and I knew staying there would surely reveal the answer. These were strenuous details I couldn't quite hit on just yet.
Though her brows came together as to why I suddenly became aloof and created distance, I replied painfully truthful. "An old friend told me if I were to ever fall in love the result would be this tattoo."
My jaw locked forcing the words that wanted to spill to be poured right back into my thoughts.
"You've...fallen in love before?" this time Willow's voice had lightened and sounded more upbeat. Obviously naive to what that little bit of information entailed.
"Yes, it's something that will always be stored in the back of my mind." Bitterness didn't completely bleed unto my words. Despite that, I kept my tone neutral.
"She must've been pretty special to be worth a permanent piece of ink," Willow said sympathetically yet she couldn't hide the sorrow in her eyes.
"Well that was a long time ago. I regret ever getting it done. Sadly enough, it's a reminder that will never go away." I kept my eyes toward the ground forbidding the windows to my soul to talk for me.
"Can I ask what happened?"
There it was. That question I had feared for the past eight months. Involuntarily, our gazes locked. Even though I bit my tongue, I could almost feel them clawing at me. My words poisoning parts of the tongue to uncover something so ugly. Because staring into such warmth comforted me. Telling me 'it's okay, you're okay.'
Almost hypnotized, my mouth opened on its own accord...
"Are we alright in there? You guys have been in there a mighty long time!" An obnoxiously enthusiastic voice snapped me completely out of the daze and I jumped in surprise—as did Willow.
Was I really just about to do that?
Blushing again, Willow tilted her head down, "I'll let you get your clothes back on."
Somehow my mouth was already agape, "Right. Ya' know this trip was mostly for you rather than me and these roles would've been reversed." I smirked oddly amused trying to seep the lighthearted mood back into the room.
She rolled her eyes playfully, a twinkle of merriment in them. That familiar yet foreign feeling made my heart race again; I welcomed it this time. "I would take you seriously if that sparkling red dress wasn't dangling from your forearm."
At that, the little tease exited and I began to finally put back on what felt most comfortable. Jeans never felt so good...
After convincing Lisa we hadn't found what we were looking for and her offering about a dozen other options, we left. Had to give the woman credit for persistence no matter how annoying.
As we went along the sidewalk, I took note of how Willow had grown increasingly quiet which worried me.
People who once crowded the streets had become less busy and more manageable to navigate through. It was almost three.
"Hey Ace," A meek voice had spoken from beside me calling for my attention.
"Yeah?"
"Will you ever tell me... what led up to your tattoo?" She asked almost fearful of the answer.
I considered being honest, "That's a question for a different time."
Silently keeping up with my long strides, Willow didn't say much after that. I could tell she was deep in thought or contemplating something. Probably because of my aloof behavior. When in actuality, if this was a day to make up for all of my misfortunate happenings then it'd be best if those memories stayed where they were.
"I hope whatever happened didn't change your perceptions on love," she looked up at me, my eyes stayed glued to my surroundings.
"It did. Any break up a person goes through has the potential to impair their vision on romance which is very flawed in today's time." Maybe I was getting a little too personal or over analyzing it but I was being honest.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. But I don't think one person should determine your entire opinion on it."
She sounded hopeful; optimistic.
"Have you ever been put in that position?"
In my peripheral I saw her benevolent smile falter, "Well...no."
"Then—" As my mouth opened to shut the argument down, I realized something. Maybe my pessimistic views on love were impaired. She didn't have to hear that nor throw a pity party for me.
"—I hope you never have to. You deserve more than what these little clowns are trying to play Willow."
Allowing myself to kindly display a grin, her head tilted back up and returned it. "Thanks, I doubt I would have to worry about that though," Her tone suggestive on who; it was pretty obvious. My chest constricted in happiness.
"We're here!" She cheered while pointing to a local diner I'd passed multiple time while walking with Dean before going into hiding like a wuss.
"Diane's Diner? Alright, I'm paying since you refuse to let me treat you milady." I bowed in an attempt to courtsy, earning a giggle.
"Nope, it's about time you celebrated this birthday without that considerate and giving heart of yours getting in the way sir."
"Much too kind you are ma'am." My hand signaled for her to approach the entrance. No way would I let her pay. Willow's eyes sparked and those signature dimples appeared right before my own; captivating me.
As I opened the door for her, she murmured a quick 'thank you' and the smell of pancakes with strong coffee wafted in the air. The aroma was comforting in a sense that I was finally finding a balance in my life sort of speak.
On que my stomach growled lowly. Hardly noticeable because of the early 2000s hits playing consistently in the background. Willow and I had been here before because of tutoring for English, our trips became nonexistent after the Blake situation. And after that was patched up, my grades were already improved.
"Hi there, welcome to Diane's Diner, take a seat and I'll be right with you." A redhead who had to have been in her early 30s addressed us kindly and was on to the next customer a few tables over.
"That was honestly a breath of fresh air after our excessively cheerful consultant from that dress shop," I commented.
She nodded, "True. But I'd prefer that over one who completely hates her job because her marriage failed and she has two delinquent teens on the verge of driving her to insanity." All said in one breath, my eyebrows raised silently asking Willow if she thought of that well put answer beforehand.
"I ramble when I'm hungry. Either that or-"
"Become a vicious kitten," I winked at her with a sly grin. Angry Willow was healthy for my male anatomy so long as she wasn't angry with me.
"Whatever," her eyes rolled teasingly. "You're lucky it's your birthday."
We walked over to a booth close to the center of the old fashioned diner. "Was my birthday sweetheart, you should know better than anyone."
There were those dimples again beautifully showing. Her face heated, and my heart sped up. She was either ashamed of her own thoughts or realizing what mine were from the previous night at the twins' party.
Both of us got comfortable on the red cushion. I preferred us sitting across from each other. It formed a better connection verbally.
"Ya' know talking like that in public won't get you anywhere sweetheart." A vivacious flicker sparked in those broad orbs. I was hooked and it had probably been the boldest statement she had uttered since the day we met.
"Would you rather it be in private?"
Those early 2000s hits were the only thing heard after that. "This little banter is such a privilege."
"How so," a curious frown curved into the outlines of her brows. A grin formed almost instantly.
"It's entertaining. I may have known you for what, two, three months now? But I'm finally getting the chance to see you. Probably the most rewarding thing all year."
"Thank you Ace. I guess it took the right person," it was Willow's turn to wink yet she smiled sincerely at me, in the most innocent way possible. You'd think she had greeted me instead of flattering me.
Scratching the back of my neck, "I'll be right back, nature's calling."
In all honesty, I had to reign in the intensity of the moment. Had it only been two months? Everything must've slowed down over night or I lost track of time too easily.
Before Willow said anything else, I was already headed to the men's restroom. As soon as my foot stepped inside, I was taken aback by different odors. Nothing that wouldn't be expected in a facility strictly for men though. Feet gliding across the unsanitary tiles, my reflection astounded me.
The mirror and I had a staring contest. No one else had been in the stalls. Come to think of it, the diner wasn't exceedingly packed nor entirely vacant.
A five o' clock shadow was evident but nothing too unkept since I had quickly shaved the corners of my jaw and neck prior to leaving. Dark, intricate eyes studied me. I could hardly recognize the misfit staring back.
He appeared bewildered, though no longer solemn. Deep rooted, puffy circles underneath my eyes were hardly there and just feeling the slightest bit of happiness refreshed the hell out of me. For once, Ace was here. Not orphan kid. Not desolate adolescent. Not heartbroken red-eyed lowlife, just....Ace. And he no longer hated the sight of mirrors.
Exiting the restroom, I was blown away by a rambunctious, all at once, "Surprise!"
There they all were; Nonna, Gramps,
Tony, Alyssa, the twins, Marcus, and a radiant Willow. All of them had been dressed casually and I had been a little shocked to see Marcus, both Dean and Daniel as well as a Tony and Alyssa in the same room. Jokes aside, it was kind of touching they took the time for me. Genuine smiles dressed their faces.
To say the least, they succeeded in taking me completely off gaurd.
"Happy birthday ragazzo," Nonna said initially with endearment.
Everyone else had their fair share of customized wishes too.
"You made it to eighteen. How do you feel?" As the large group had been walking to the back area for a larger table, Tony's hand met my shoulder.
"I can practically feel myself morphing into an adult," I joked sarcastically.
A strawberry cake rounded in the middle of the table, Spiderman themed; ha. It made me chuckle to myself at how specific one could get. And only one person could account to this great deal of trouble. There she sat, lighting the candles with a light grin displayed and illuminated by the glow of each candle. I swear if it wasn't love, at that moment it fell pretty damn close.
Plastic party plates were in front of each person. Presents had been stacked in a corner just a few feet away. And for the first time, I had noticed since leaving the bathroom, the entire Diner was empty (aside from the waitress from earlier) just for us. God, if I was dreaming that'd be a pretty sick joke played on me.
As our large group was seated, I chose to stand and share my gratefulness for their efforts to even show up.
"Thanks everybody, I'll admit this is hands down the best birthday yet."
Gramps' usual strict character had been suppressed with a proud expression. Alyssa beamed and Marcus mirrored it subtly. The twins were feasting their eyes on the cake. Then Daniel, for the first time since I met him, gave me a reluctant yet respectful head nod.
"You deserve it ese. Cheers to a belated, but long awaited birthday!"
Glasses that I hadn't been aware of upon entering, filled with sweet tea, were raised. Pride swelled in my chest and joy burned the back of my eyes though blinked back before anyone caught sight.
"Cheers," we toasted.