By TheVashe
~
My birth name is Justine.
I prefer to be called Jay.
I didn't know the term 'transgender' until I was about 12.
I told my mom how I felt, that I felt that I was a boy, not a girl and she immediately shot that 'idea' down.
She told me that I was too young to decide. That I wasn't finished going through puberty so that I didn't know.
That kept me in the closet for some time.
I didn't like my name, it felt wrong.
Too feminine.
So I tried out the name Justin and it still felt wrong.
When I was 14, I went to this summer day camp.
I thought "this can be my chance to start over, with new people"
So I tried out the name Jay and I felt comfortable using that name.
I binded and wore loose shirts and shorts so that people (hopefully) wouldn't misgender me.
I asked one of the camp counselors, Vincent, there to call me Jay and he did that immediately.
I cannot describe how amazing that made me feel.
But then it was time to go swimming.
I don't use public restrooms because of fear basically.
I didn't know which locker room to use. Everyone else was in and I was standing there, getting nervous and thinking 'which one should I go into'
Then Vincent said "Com'on Jay" or something along those lines and he let me in the guys locker room.
I was relief when I didn't have to swim.
He continues to called me Jay and by my preferred pronouns, which are he/him even though I didn't tell him anything.
On the last day of camp I told him that I was a transgender male, female to male.
And what he said completely blew my mind.
"I know"
*explodes*
Now I would end it there, but it does not end there.
I asked my mom to call me Jay and she said "enough with this guy crap Justine, this is getting ridiculous"
Again she shot my down.
I am 15 now and she still called me by my birth name.
I am not on any hormones and I don't have a binder
But things may change in the future.
Thanks
~Jay