Willow retracted herself from my lap, panting every so lightly. Contrary to what I'd thought she'd do, her presence didn't vanish. I still felt her small frame against the car heaving sighs of pure adrenaline. Did it come as a surprise to me? Absolutely.
Because as the events unraveled themselves beneath my eyelids. My breathing didn't hitch in regret or delivering painful nostalgia. No. I felt alive, as though I had unleashed this relentless beast from my conscious and it made me feel almost weightless. She was what I couldn't get enough of in my system.
"What happened," she asked bewildered in a breathless voice. Every inhale and exhale gradually slowed.
"Sorry," I rushed out. "After awhile a person's restraint thins and I couldn't help it," my head tilted down sheepishly still uncomfortable at my own blunt honesty.
"What do you call it?" Her tone had an unwavering cluelessness. Holding down the sinful smile of mine was no use.
"The words you're looking for would be intense attraction." Discussing it as though it were the weather would be the only thing to ease such thick sexual tension.
"Oh," she said bashfully, laughing nervously. "I've never, um-experienced that before," Willow sounded extremely embarrassed and naïve as to what happened. Not to mention how undeniably adorable it was.
"Good. You'll understand as time goes on cara, the feeling is very hard to deny once it's felt." A slight huskiness attained my throat. With trailing desire beginning to surge again wanting just another taste...
She gulped audibly, "What do you mean by restraint?"
Her scent wafted lightly which snapped me out of the temporary haze. "Complicated," was all I managed to mutter.
"No it's not," she protested boldly. "You yourself said it was undeniable. If you're so sure, then why don't you care to explain." Her proximity had gotten closer and I felt her hand just an inch away from mine.
"If I were to explain it in detail. I doubt you'd look at me the same." Only my filthy mind could stir up such sinful thoughts. Her mind would be in danger of being stripped of such obvious innocence. Better to be blissfully ignorant than voluntarily blind.
"How so?"
"Maybe," my lips brushed against hers and her breathing grew ragged. "I could show you," the borderline tease in me loved this. However, my manhood downstairs didn't enjoy the empty promises very much.
And before our lips reacquainted eachother's again, I turned my head to fight the fierce temptation while closing my eyes slowly, drowsily.
The silence was deafening.
Then an 'aha' moment arrived, opening my eyes and turning my head ninety degrees to the left, "I want you to stay with me," I blurted out.
Her breathing had gone back to its original state. "Ace I can't." It sounded like she desired to say more yet didn't.
"Why not?" Rejection had been set in place.
"I promised Blake I'd take care of Gretta and-" the sound of palm coming in contact with a mouth resonated. "Oh no," she panicked in a muffled tone.
"What is it," I immediately felt for her hand to grasp it. Seeing her in a state of serenity was what I wanted to envision her in. The lack of light had made it almost impossible to see anything visible though.
"Gretta said to be back by ten, and I know for a fact it has been two hours. I have to make sure she takes her cholesterol medication." Willow's voice was hurried and distressed. "It's my responsibility to make sure she's alright and I was too careless and selfish to even take that in account. Stupid, stupid, stupid." She whispered the rest intending for it not to be heard. While abruptly getting away, her body heat followed and from the circling footsteps I knew she was pacing.
"Willow," I stood in front of her. "Stop worrying, she's a grown woman I'm sure she can manage for one night," I reassured gently while comfortingly rubbing up and down on her shoulders. "I wanted you with me on my birthday anyway. Imagine how boring it would've been had you not showed up." The grooves in my cheeks turned up cracking a smile.
She patently relaxed with the untensing of her stance and sighed softly. "Yeah, I... I guess you're right. But still," Deep down this was bothering her and I knew that. But for once she needed just a little time to enjoy what little chance of freedom someone in her position had.
"No buts, you're staying with me for the night." My fingertips ached to explore what was hiding from me under her dress.
"Ace, that's a generous offer but-"
"Uh-uh, what did I say?"
"But-"
"Nope."
"How 'bout-"
"Nada."
"But if-"
"Not."
"Just-"
"End of story. You're coming with me for the night. Avoiding you all week is tiring for the immune system. I need a week's worth of my daily dose of sunshine." My index finger tenderly tilted her smooth chin up at me. "And that is you."
She got away from my grasp and took a few steps back. "Gee Ace, your kindness is so forward. I can't help but feel a little guilty about not returning your generosity. It just makes my stomach feel so darn fuzzy."
I laughed boisterously without any effort to stop it. "Ya know I feel the same way when you're around."
"You talk up a good game Ace Valentino," she noted playfully.
"Saying it's a game would only mean I've been waiting on the bench this entire time. Trust me cara this is far from a game to me." As my fingertips traced the outline of her shoulder, causing goosebumps, I trailed them down to her hand.
Latching on and intertwining our phalanges, I pulled her abruptly along.
"Wait," she stamped down onto the ground. "The only type of shoes I have would be those stilts over there. I can't walk around barefoot."
Despite it being dark, I knew Willow was conflicted on this risk or not. She always came across as someone caring more for others than herself.
Than an idea hit me. In pitch-black darkness my right arm collected her legs and the left held her back. The position was familiar, holding any woman bridal style felt like it would be too intimate for me. But for some reason having a grip of every crevice and curve, this position wasn't initimate enough.
"Ace," she wrapped her arms around my neck firmly. "You do realize I'm 5'2 and being up this high has me slightly on edge," the grip around my neck tightened.
"Alright, it's either this or stilettos, your choice." My breath fanned her face and I could feel her shudder. The warmth she produced in my arms from her small frame had me oddly content.
Sighing defeatedly, "Okay, but please don't drop me."
I scoffed, "You weigh practically nothing, stop worrying and enjoy the moment."
"Thank you," she whispered almost inaudibly.
I smiled.
Willow was silent and I began to walk as diligently as possible to dodge the multitudes of cars. Accidentally, my foot came in contact with a bare back. After hearing groans and Willow apologizing (que eye roll) we had determined he was in a deep drunken slumber.
After about an hour of walking, Willow thanked me for the lift and said it'd be okay to put her down. I didn't even mind that we ditched a party solely for the purpose of that. Because out of every bothersome event that occurred in one night, Willow had been the highlight of it all. She ofcourse was unaware of that.
"Do you think he noticed you had left?" She asked curiously and a tinge of sympathy.
I shrugged, "Doesn't matter if he has or not. My birthdays are any other day in my book."
Up ahead, the entrance of Meadow Hills appeared. The familiar gravel that surrounded it's opening gave me some relief knowing we had arrived safely.
"Why is that?" Willow's long hair swayed with every movement. It tickled my arm which enticed me to run my fingers through every dark strand.
Trying to evade the topic, "They have no substance. Like a planned structure and no foundation.
That apparently wasn't enough, "So kind've like empty expectations?"
"Something of the sort," I grumbled. We went up the pathway leading us to our building. The leaves underneath of our feet crunched deliberately. She seemed to have been dodging most of them whereas I didn't give a rat's ass. Though, for her it was probably due to the fact of bare feet.
Maybe I should just carry her the rest of the way.
As the dimness of street lights surrounded the complex, I finally got a good look at what Willow was wearing.
In a modest and feminine pink dress that hugged her curves extensively, it was a little shorter than her usual attire. Which she clearly disliked since her hands constantly met the hem to pull the end of it down. Her sexy legs shined as her lovely complexion glowed. My hands wanted to glide along the length of it attentively. It fit her perfectly, being sure to accentuate the divot of her bust to which I found great pleasure in observing. Then how the large rear she seemed to have kept hidden cut through my line of vision smoothly.
Ravishing her in the dark wasn't enough for me after that. And accordingly, I itched to pleasure us both in more ways than one. Such a stunning female nearly lodging a lump of anticipation in my throat effortlessly.
That's exactly what made her even more beautiful in my eyes. Willow didn't try to flirt or seem seductive to enhance her beauty. She carried herself in a modest, lady-like fashion with self respect. A way where she didn't portray the image of a promiscuous lass, but an elagent, delicate woman who wasn't concerned about impressing the eyes of another but for her own approval. And aside from such striking appearence and personality, simply by the way she carried herself had me longing for.... something.
She caught on to my intrusive eyes and hers lowered to the ground, "Did you not get any cake at the party or...." She sounded embarrassed and awkward to mention anything.
Feeling my throat parched, I tried deflating the stiffness in our conversation. In my defense, she looked edible in pale pink. "I...actually have something to show you." As an idea popped in my head, I grasped her small, warm hand and sped up our pace to the door.
"Wow, wow, wow," she objected while trying to catch her breath. "Keep in mind my feet are bare, tracklete." Willow giggled near the end but also on her tip toes in angst. I knew her feet had to have been sore by then.
Our hands were still clasped tightly together, much to my delight. "Gives me an excuse to-" my words hung in the air as I once again lifted Willow who sucked in her breath quickly in surprise.
She swooped in my arms feeling wieghtless as every curve and divot pressed against my abdomen. Holding her like this made me feel like a dominant freak. Accompanied by lustful, dark thoughts.
Moving on....
"When will you learn how high up this is for me?" She questioned, her big brown eyes had amusement and something else I was not able to digest.
"Considering how my height is the same for me everyday, I guess I never will." I smiled, loving how carefree the moment was.
"Well, since I'm already up here, I can note that the weather has not changed." Her head went from left to right comically.
"Oh whatever smurf. I'd say the same for you since your kness practically hover over the ground."
"Smurf? Psh, how would that be an insult? Growing up I always thought they were adorable," she gushed.
While continuing to walk the short distance, "Come on, those little bastards annoyed the hell out of Gargamel, the only human that could stand 'em."
Willow playfully, softly, smacked my chest. "Nah, Gargamel was the one who disturbed them. He was just mad he couldn't snatch one for himself as a pet." A light pout formed around her full lips and it took the power God himself to reign in my desire not to kiss them.
Changing topic, "Who got you into the Smurfs anyway?" I tried not to pry or intrude but tip-toeing around it became such a bore.
She leaned against my chest almost too calmly saying, "My father was the one. He used to buy me the plush stuffed ones. Though, when he left I threw every last one of them in the garbage."
I stayed silent, delving into what she just provided me with. Something obviously personal, yet had no problem mentioning it. "How composed of a person can you possibly be to not have a hint of emotion saying that?"
Laughing quietly and dryly. "He left, that's all there is to it. Moved to Spain with his new wife after signing his rights away when I was four, no care in the world for me or my mother. Then it hit that if he doesn't care, why should I? Besides, it's not a foreign concept. Plenty of people go through the same thing."
Her words stunned me a little. So much, that I stopped walking altogether. "It doesn't bother you at all?"
Willow peered up at me, a sad smile spread across her face, "Only on Father's Day."
I silenced and continued to move my legs. Did I underestimate how strong she was? Willow didn't ask for pity nor dwelled on it which made an unknown feeling course through me. She amazed me and I loved that about her. Maybe it was just me but the thought of my parents lingered in my mind atleast once throughout the day. Growing up it affected me more, despite that, I became accustomed to abandonment and lost all hope.
"What about you?" She asked
"What?"
"I've never seen or heard you talk about your parents. Has it always been only you and your grandmother." She treaded lightly with her words.
Before I answered, we had successfully found the familiar dark green door of Nonna and I's apartment. Placing her feet on the ground carefully, like a porcelain doll, my mind was a mess. She had shared something personal with me, so why should I be so hesistant?
I could feel the tension roll off of me in waves. As both of us stood in front of the door, a dim source of light came from the direction of the entrance to our building itself. Willow's tiny figure alligned to my vision. Suddenly, seeing her had eased my nerves immensely.
"My parents are dead," I said gruffly while swallowing the large lump that had plugged in my throat.
Her hands went to her mouth in shock, "Oh my-I'm-I didn't kno-"
"They're dead... to me," I recovered and edging further away from her in fear of seeing pity. The last few moments of rational thinking slipped away and I felt if I didn't get it off my chest by now, I never would.
She stayed silent.
"My mother fell in love with my father at a young age. Both had a dream of becoming rockstars.... Long story short, I wasn't apart of that dream and they left." I seemed nonchalant, truth be told I had been anything but.
The patter of her tip toes advanced toward me. She took a large intake of air and blew. "I don't think that's true."
I scowled in her direction, "Excuse me," what she said stung accusing me of a lie.
"I mean, I believe you. But I don't think you were necessarily not apart of their dream. Maybe... maybe they went after one to bring it you." She said carefully and sympathetically. Her proximity had gotten exceedingly close and her hand met my forearm.
Pulling away, "Don't give me that. They left a month after I was born and only saw me as baggage. It's now been eighteen years Willow. Eighteen years without even acknowledging my existence. No phone calls, letters, visits, nothing."
My eyes burned and I closed them to gain control of this pathetic vulnerability. This wasn't supposed to happen. This was supposed to be kept locked away, enslaving my mind while the sense of abandonment throughout my life held me captive.
When I expected to hear her laugh at me or worse, walk away, she still stood there. No pity, just glossy brown eyes filled with worry.
"We don't know the whole story Ace. They're train of thought may be completely different from yours. We don't exactly know why they vanished. But out of all the people in this world, aside from your grandmother, there's atleast one more person who will never leave. And as long as you'll let me I'll be here for you the same way you've been for me." She smiled weakly and my heart swelled to the very end. "You're not baggage, you're a strong individual who isn't anyone's burden. Remember how important you are Ace." I couldn't help myself and pulled her straight to me. Snatching her shoulders until there was not an inch of distance between us.
"Thank you," I murmured against her strawberry scented hair. Even though my life was a mess and nothing added up most of the time, she didn't spat not one judgemental thing. She didn't blame me or toy with me. Sighing in contentment, I held her impossibly close, to which she welcomed.
I loved having Willow this near. To feel physical proof I wasn't dreaming. To know the female leaning on me like life depended on it wasn't just a pigment of my insane imagination. Everything managed to fade and her presence momentarily alleviated my pain.