Chapter 30
[Harry's POV]
"Well, basically..."
~~~
It was around five AM when I came back home from the pub. I had returned there after going to Amanda's house hoping that my party would still be hanging out there after hours, since on occasions like these the bar stays open until dawn What I discovered was that there wasn't anyone apart some high school friends and a few fans still partying. I sat down at the booth we'd been sat in all evening, Amanda by my side even though I wanted it to be Elena.
Earlier in the afternoon, I'd completely snapped out of reality when I tried telling to tell about my past. We'd had our first fight that morning in days, and I knew she was angry with me. I tried to make it up to her by telling her some of my story. I wanted to let her in, tell her who I am and how much I love her, but I couldn't do it. But I really do love her. I did back then, I still do now and I will tomorrow and the days after that. The bird has me wrapped around her finger and I can't even breathe properly when she's not with me, and I choked on that because I needed to find my sanity back.
In order to do so, I spent the entire afternoon at my dad's because I knew he wouldn't ask any questions. If I don't want to talk, he doesn't pull it out of me so he let me lock myself up in the guest bedroom to cool off.
Never in two and a half years have I thought that I'd love someone again, and only this afternoon it hit me how much Elena meant to me. Ever since I found her I knew I had feelings for her. Then, when I walked into my house a couple of weeks ago and found that beautiful face of hers staring right back at me, those piercing eyes and delicate features that had haunted my dreams for nearly seven months, I thought I was having a cardiac arrest. But it was just my heart skipping a beat at how much love I felt for her. The girl grinding in my crotch became completely invisible and meaningless at that point, and I wondered what the hell I was going with my life and how I had ended up like this.
But that morning, I was trying to talk to her and I realized that I couldn't because I didn't want to disappoint her. She looked so beautiful putting makeup on, which she doesn't even need, and I thought to myself, How the hell did I find such an incredible girl? And I realized that if it wasn't for her, I'd still be in a stranger's bed, fucking the girl into oblivion to forget about everything.
The realization hit me hard and I couldn't deal with it.
Amanda had always been my safe haven. She'd been my best friend since preschool and she was my first at everything. Things were simple with her because we never really loved each other, but we shared an intimacy that couldn't be described. We trusted each other from the first day when she let me braid her hair even though it ended up in knots. So when I found her at the pub with the rest of my secondary school friends, I used her as my rock again even though I knew from the start that I was making an unforgivable mistake.
To this day I don't know why I did it. Elena's face was all I wanted to look at and kiss when the countdown struck midnight. But I'd seen her talking to Marcus at the bar, that bastard who'd gotten my sister's friend pregnant in secondary school, so I drank my fifth beer and turned off my feelings.
The sex was good, but not worth it. After leaving Amanda's house, I found myself having all those strange feelings. Guilt. Shame. It hurt so much and all I wanted to do was curl up with Elena and tell her how much I love her. Then I remembered that I couldn't do so, and I went to the bar to see if she was still there.
I sat at the booth for nearly an hour until I decided that it was time for me to go home. I expected Elena to be in bed, probably asleep but face crisp with tears, because I knew how much I'd hurt her. I'd promised her a date, and I gave her probably the worst night of her life. I didn't deserve this girl at all, but I couldn't get myself to walk away from her.
The party at my house had died down when I arrived. I noticed the cars still there, but everyone was just sitting in the lounge and talking. The voices stilled when I walked in, and I noticed the tears on my sister's face as she cuddled with Chloe, who was rubbing her back. I was just about to take a few steps closer to ask what was wrong with Mum got up on her feet and let out a few tears.
"How dare you come back here after what you did?" she whisper-shouts angrily through her clenched teeth, not raising her voice to wake up the sleeping kids. "Do you have absolutely no bloody respect?"
One person was missing in the room. For a second I told myself that she was probably sleeping upstairs, exhausted from the horrible night I'd given her, but from everyone's looks I knew I was wrong.
"You've already made the girl go through hell once, and now that you have what you want with her, you do it all over again. Harry, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?"
Mum's face was red as she spoke, eyes puffy and face stained with tears. "Mum, I -"
"Harry," this time, Robin called my name, wrapping an arm around my mom who started sobbing in his arm. "I think you should go. I don't think you have your place here right now, and you shouldn't come back until you have more respect for this family."
"You're not even real family," I spat at him, probably because I didn't want to accept what was happening. "You can't tell me to leave. It was my house first."
Mum regained her posture after a moment and composed herself visibly. "Right now, he's more of a family member than you are, Harry. And he's not even my blood. You are an absolute shame to this family, and I'm disgusted with your attitude and your actions. This is not how I raised you, and you are certainly not going to be like this in this house."
"Fuck off, all of you!" I screamed because she was right. I was ashamed of myself and I couldn't handle it, so I picked up a wine glass and threw it on the wall, so hard as if I was aiming for my own face. I threw it with such force that it shattered before touching the wall. "You can't fucking kick me out of my own house. Where the fuck is she? Mum, where is she?"
"Away from you, which we all want to be right now," she replied, sobbing in my stepdad's arms. "Harry, I'm asking you to leave, but if I find out that you've been anywhere near her, you are no longer part of this family. Ever."
She was gone. It hit me then, the confirmation that I didn't want to have but knew was coming. She'd left me. Yes, I'd made the biggest mistake of my entire fucking existence, but I thought that perhaps if I apologized and explained, she'd forgive me and we'd move on. How the fuck had I been so fucking stupid?
I took the anger away on my family instead of on myself. "You can't do that, Mum. You love me too much, I'm your own son. And if I want to go see Elena, then I'll fucking go see her and you can't do anything about it."
"Right now, you're not my son," she said through her cries. "I don't recognize you, and I don't want you in this house. So pack your bags and leave."
"But Mum -"
"Harry," Gemma finally spoke up, not moving from her seat on Chloe's lap. They'd been best friends since preschool as well, and they knew how to comfort each other. But Gemma was also my sister, and she'd always taken my side. I expected her to tell our mum that it was fine, that I could stay, but her choke got me paralyzed. "Leave. Now."
Her soft words were what hurt the most. We were the Styles siblings; we were a team, and she was abandoning me. I saw a flash of shame in her eyes, shame towards me, of who I was, of who I'd became. Those two words coming from my partner in crime's mouth were enough to crumble me down and reduce me to nothing, so I turned on my heels and walked up the stairs to my childhood bedroom.
Elena's scent was still all over the place. I could feel her presence even if she was absent, but I also realized that my mum was right. I couldn't do this to her; I couldn't go back to her. It was official, Elena hated me and I'd ruined everything. So I packed my suitcase and rolled it down the stairs, doing the walk of shame for two different reasons. My entire family, including cousins and uncles, watched me as I put my boots back on and grabbed my car keys. I was still impossibly drunk, but Mum and Robin didn't seem to stop me from driving. I was silently praying that one of them would stop me, but they never did.
"Harry?"
I quickly spun on my heels when I heart my mum call my name, hope in my eyes that she'd tell me to stay. She didn't. "You'll end up completely alone if you stay the way you are. Call me when you've changed."
Deep down, I knew what she meant. I didn't feel like myself anymore, either. I was ashamed of myself, of what I'd done, and I regretted it so much. So I nodded, gulped, and walked out the door. I was still on the doorstep when I heard the loud sobs inside the house and watched my mum crumble in Robin's arms through the window. She fell to her knees and cried like I'd never seen her before. Gemma was doing the same in her best friend's arms, and the rest of my family was shedding a few tears as well.
I slowly walked down the driveway to my car, one step at a time not to slip and fall down from both the ice and being inebriated, which reminded me of Elena. Everything reminded me of her, but especially the car because her smell was imprinted to it. Her vanilla shampoo, her fruity shower gel, her natural sent that drove me so fucking over the edge. I hit my head a few times against the steering wheel before gathering the courage to drive away, not giving one last glance at the house I wouldn't be seeing for a while, if not ever again.
The only place I knew I could go was to London. I didn't know where I'd crash since I immediately assumed that Elena had gone to the house.
I was so fucking mad that she'd gone back home, to our home. Couldn't she just ask for a ride? Who the hell fucking takes the train on New Year's? Did she have any idea what kind of people take the train on those nights?
Rapists. That's the kind of people. She would get raped and possibly beaten to death in a small, dark alley. She'd be completely defenseless next to those people and she'd be entirely to their mercy.
Oh fucking Christ.
If something had happened to her, I didn't know what I would've done. She was part of my heart, part of me. She was the reason I could fucking breathe and actually be happy about it.
It took me a while to understand that she was what made me happy. I didn't think I could truly be happy anymore, not after everything that happened. I thought I could be happy with my job, with my family, with my friend, but with love? Never. It never occurred to me that I'd find the right person, and bloody fucking hell I had to throw it out of the window.
I made it to London in two and a half hours because of speeding. I almost got pulled over about five times; the police is extremely vigilant on holidays, but I just couldn't take my time. It was already morning, though the sun was hiding behind mountains of clouds, rain gently pouring on the cars. There wasn't any traffic but I would've expected the city to be a lot quieter on a day like this. I also must've checked my phone a hundred times in case someone called or texted, but no one ever did. If something had happened to Elena, I sure hoped that I would get a message.
I needed to check on her.
Though I couldn't go back to the house permanently, I found myself driving until I was in front of it. It looked inert from here, the lights off and the curtains still open. She had to be there, she had nowhere else to go.
My muscles trembled at the thought of her not making it to London. She could've been lost anywhere, she could've been in someone's car or she could've gone in the wrong direction and gone up north. Fucking hell.
I parked the car in front of the gates and typed in my code. I fumbled at the front door with my keys because I was too nervous. If she wasn't there, I was going to lose it. I was going to fucking lose it, and I didn't know what I was going to do in order to not fucking lose it, because there was no way I wouldn't fucking lose it.
But as soon as I opened the door, I heard the cries. They were coming from upstairs in the bedroom, and she was sobbing. My heart sank at the sound; I could only imagine her beautiful face covered in tears, her makeup leaked on her face but she'd still look the same: absolutely beautiful.
She cried so much she was hiccupping. I wanted to go up there and comfort her, but my legs wouldn't let me walk. I couldn't do it. It'd done this to her, and at this point I knew that Mum was right, I couldn't go anywhere near her. So I turned around and left the house quietly, not leaving anything behind so she would never know.
Before I knew where to go, I knew where I was driving. There was one place where I knew I would be welcomed at any time of the day, and I wouldn't be a bother. My hands were driving me there and I only realized once I was parked in front of the complex building, that it was the only I could go.
Grimmy was still sleeping when I walked in. He had the day off from the radio station because it was New Year's, and he must've partied at someone else's house because his flat was clean, which doesn't happen very often. I went from the back and took the hidden key to go in, locking the door behind me and wandering inside the familiar place. His bedroom door was closed and no sound was coming from it, so I assumed he was alone and fast asleep, probably hungover or still drunk as well. I took the liberty to crash in the guestroom where I usually stay anyway, and dropped my suitcase there before collapsing on the bed.
I was asleep within seconds, grateful that I could finally forget the night for a few hours.
It was two in the afternoon when I felt my body being shook violently from side to side, in a bed I knew so well from having crashed on many hungover nights. I whined when the shaking stopped, soon replaced by blinding rays of lights invading the room.
"Fucking hell," I hissed, burying my face further in the pillow. "Close the damn curtains, Nicholas."
Instead of following my instructions respectfully, he returned to shaking me violently to a point where I even felt queasy. "Oh no, Munchkin. You're getting up with me and you're explaining what the hell you're doing here."
"Go fuck yourself, Grimmy." I brought the comforter over my head and found darkness again. Exactly what I wanted. "Go away. I'm sleeping."
"No you're not," he giggled and jumped on the bed, covering me with all his body length. "Oh, Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry. Munchkin, wake up."
"Fucking hell!" I shouted, finally giving up. Not that I had a choice, to be honest. I threw the comforter off my body, Nick flying on the other side of the bed along with it, and I sat up in just my pants. I'd gotten to undress myself during the night, or the morning, and my clothes sat on the floor in a not-so-neat pile. "Make me fucking breakfast and I'll talk to you then. Fuck, you're annoying."
Grimmy never really cared about the way I talk to him, whether or not I'm being a rude twat. He's my best friend and everything I say is affectionate. But truth be told, he was still being a twat. "Oh, you're so grumpy in the morning. What's gotten into you? Nothing, I suppose?"
He meant that as I hadn't gotten laid. I rolled my eyes as he threw he head back and laughed out loud, the sound of it echoing painfully and making the hangover slightly worse. "Pancakes or French toasts. I want the whole kit, or else I'm not telling you shit."
"Pancakes it is!" he called as he left the room, finally giving me some peace. I crawled back under the covers and laid my head on the pillow until sleep started taking over my body again. The curtains were still drawn open, but I was so sleepy that I could've fallen asleep in a tanning bed, even without those little glasses they give you to cover your eyelids.
It took only a few seconds for the terrible memories of Elena crying to resurface in my mind. I tried to block the sounds away, to shut my brain off completely and not feel anything but I couldn't do it. Within a minute I was wide awake in bed and almost sweating from the nightmares, so I rolled out of bed and emptied my bladder in Grimmy's bathroom before meeting him in the kitchen.
He'd already mixed the pancake mixture and I watched him pour a generous amount in the middle of a pan. Grimmy was too focused on making breakfast that he didn't notice my presence in the kitchen. I sat down and subtly stole a banana from the fruit bowl in the middle of the table, peeling it from the bottom and leaving the peel on my plate.
"So, he's awake," he said amusingly form the stove. I rolled my eyes at him and threw him a piece of my banana. "Oi! Calm down, mate. Don't attack the innocent guy, I was just making a statement."
"A statement, my arse," I threw back at him, mouth full and almost dribbling. "Make those faster, I'm starving."
Grimmy chuckled. "Oh, the beast is hungry now. Might as well feed you with the dog, 'cause mate you're a real bitch this morning. Why are you here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be on your honeymoon with Elena?"
Without thinking, I scoffed. "Got kicked out of my parents', Elena's at the house and I literally screwed up for the rest of my life, oh and I'm still drunk. Could you add vodka in my pancakes? Thank you very much, mate. You're the best."
But he didn't add any vodka to my pancakes and I scowled at him from where I was sitting before dropping my head heavily into my hands, the hangover now surfacing at its best with a massive headache. "Oi, mate. Start from the beginning. What happened with your parents?"
"What happened with my life is more like the proper question to ask," I corrected, sighing. "I had a row with Elena and I stood her up for our dinner. Then I had sex with Amanda, and Elena left, Mum threw me out, Robin yelled and Gemma cried." I go on with a few more explanations, to which he whistles and lifts his eyebrows in response. "Voila."
Why give too details when the small bits are enough to explain? Grimmy certainly understood, because his eyes popped out of his skull when he dropped the last pancake onto a plate and turned off the stove. "Amanda? As in pre-X-Factor Amanda? Why'd do you that?"
"The very same Amanda," I confirmed with a sigh. "And I suppose if I knew why I did it I wouldn't have done it, but with all the alcohol it seemed like a pretty good idea back then. I was wrong."
The pancakes were good, but they would've been much better with a tad of vodka in the mixture. Possibly beer and tequila as well, but I didn't want sound like a demanding brat so early in the afternoon. Grimmy didn't give me his opinion, but I could tell that he thought I'd been a twat. So instead he changed the subject to his own New Year's party and I got away with my mess one very easily.
The next morning Grimmy was already gone when I woke up. I'd slept through my hangover most of the day and woken up in the morning feeling refreshed, yet with my heart still in the pit of my stomach. I rummaged through the fridge to find something to eat, but we definitely needed to stop by the shop to get some food today, because those pancakes the day before had probably been made with expired everything.
I took a shower, shaved my inexistent facial hair and dressed up in the same jeans I'd worn the night before, paired with a button down shirt from Nick's wardrobe that didn't make me look too old. I hooked his flat key around my keychain and locked the door behind me.
There was a lot more traffic on the motorway than there had been when I'd driven back from Holmes Chapel. People were going back to work today, and though I wasn't meant to be back to work for another week or so, it still felt like a work day to me. However, I didn't want the lads to know I was back in town. They'd ask too many questions, Louis would probably throw a fit at me for even thinking that it could work between Elena and I, Liam would be a protective bastard again. Zayn was on holiday with Perrie, so he wouldn't find out before the meeting, and Niall had always been Switzerland in this situation. So I drove with my sunglasses on even if it was raining, a beanie covering my slightly humid hair, and I opted for Costco instead of Tesco because two lads in one flat eat a lot. Possibly too much.
On my way back to the flat, I took the long way. It was probably a mistake, because what I found wasn't exactly what I wanted to find. I could see her from a block away-I didn't want to drive right past her, it would've been a mistake. She was waiting in the small cabin at the bus stop down the street, a massive suitcase by her side, a duffle bag hanging across her body and another one in her hand. She looked devastated, her body hunched over and almost lifeless, but I couldn't see her face properly from here. From what I knew of her body language, I could tell she was still crying.
I couldn't wait for her to take the bus with all the frozen food in the car, so I drove back to the flat, put away everything in the fridge and in the cupboards, and I left right away. If something wasn't at its place, Grimmy would fix it later. I had other things on my mind.
It was getting slightly late and I got stuck in traffic on the way back home. When I got there, however, the cabin was empty. She'd left and I didn't know where.
The house was still hot when I walked in, her perfume and shampoo scents all over the place. Or maybe I had just gotten sensitive to it, but it was all I could smell. She'd left a few items in the house, like knick knacks, summer clothes, shoes, picture frames and all. So I assumed she couldn't have gone back to the states. She was meant to start school in a week anyway.
Sitting in the bedroom bin by the bed, all crumbled and torn on the edges, was a small yellow post-it. My heart stopped at the thought ofthat post-it being in the garbage, so I picked it up and opened it, but I sighed in relief to find just a random phone number written down in her handwriting. I ignored the fourteen new messages on my phone from random people, none that I was actually interested in, and curiously dialed the number even if I knew I shouldn't have invaded her privacy. It kind of made me look like a fucking creep, but I needed to know where she'd gone if I wanted to keep her safe. Those pictures of us circulating on the internet from the holidays weren't attracting the nice comments.
"London Metropolitan University student accommodation services, how can I help you?"
Bingo. I hung up without saying anything, because that had been my answer to where she'd gone. She was moving in a dorm. We'd talked about this, and I had specifically told her that dormitories weren't safe. And we fought over this.
At least I knew she had something to go, so that night I slept slightly better than usual.
The following week passed in a blur. Everyday I'd check up on her, whether it was at work or at the dorm, but I always knew where she was. One morning she left her flat without an umbrella, and it was clearly going to rain all day. I drove to her job before she could get there, put my hood on and my sunglasses, and dropped off an umbrella to the girl who was working. I told her not mention this and to give it to Elena so she could use it at the end of her shift. I didn't care what the excuse was, as long as she didn't know I'd been there. Later that night when I watched her walk out of the store in the heavy rain, she pulled out the umbrella from her purse and covered herself from the water.
In my opinion, she was working too much. Every single day, all she did was to leave her dorm and go to work, then come back 'home' later in the evening with leftover food and greasy hair. Whenever she worked, she had greasy hair that smelled like sausages and bacon. It wasn't the best fragrance in the world, but it was her and I liked it.
"Maybe you should call your mummy." That was how Nick woke me up on the following Saturday morning. It was hardly eleven in the morning but he was used to waking up early for his radio show during the week, and by eleven he was bored in the flat all alone. His way of having fun was to wake me up. "I'm sure Anne misses you, and I'm sure she misses me even more."
"Either you get in this bed right now and sleep, or you get the fuck out and let me sleep in peace," I growled, throwing the comforter over my head.
Grimmy laughed out loud and purred. "Oi, Harry Styles is asking me to sleep with him. How lucky am I!" In response, he received one of my pillows straight in the face, but then I regretted it because I had one pillow left and I was slightly uncomfortable, so I barked at him to give me back the pillow. "I'm serious, Harry. You should really call your mum. She's probably getting worried."
"Trust me, my parents will be fine without me. I'm sure they already removed me from their will."
I hadn't talked to my dad since New Year's, but he was probably not aware of everything that had happened unless Gemma filled him in. However, she hadn't tried to contact me once, and even though I tagged her on Twitter on a funny photo someone sent me, she never replied.
The same went for my mum. I had to call her when I had changed, and I just wasn't there yet. Eventually I knew she'd talk to me again, but I still had some hard work to do to get her to talk to me again. I understood how much I'd disappointed my family that day - the little boy they thought who'd finally gone back to normal, enjoying life and having fun with the girl of his dreams-well it wasn't like that anymore. Mum hated me, and I hated myself. Gemma hated me, and she'd always been my alley. I'd won Robin's trust over the years, and he'd earned mine, but now it was all crushed. The rest of my family, I didn't even want to think about it.
"Fine, your choice," Grimmy finally said. "But you're done moping in my house. If you don't genuinely want to fix things, I'm throwing you out to force you to."
"After I'm done sleeping," I complained, not taking his threat seriously.
"Nope." He threw the covers off my body and exposed me in all my glory, because I didn't have any pair of clean pants to wear to bed. "You're gonna be a hero, and you're gonna be a hero right now. Why haven't you gone back to your house if she's gone, anyway?"
Now attacked by the sun, I rolled over on my back and crossed my hands over my chest, not bothering to hide anything from Grimmy. He'd seen me in worse situations. "Because everything smells like her. I can't get her scent out of the house."
"Oh, Harry," Nick cooed, slowly getting on the bed beside me and lying down on his side. "You've got it that bad, don't you?"
"Hmm," I hummed in confirmation. "You have no idea, mate. And I feel like an arse because I haven't talked to Amanda, and she knows I used her. Liam is going to kill me when he finds out what I've done, and he's proper scary when he's mad. And she's been getting so much hate on Twitter, I even hate our fans right now."
Nick sighed dramatically as he pushed his quiff out of his face. "Then I suppose it's time for you to be the hero and have control on your life."
"What do you propose?"
"Give Elena some space and try to win her trust again. Be the good guy and eventually your parents will talk to you again," he shrugged. "Just do whatever you think you should, and you'll be fine. You're a good man, Harry."
Involuntarily, I smiled. Because despite the voices in my head that told me I was good at nothing, Grimmy was very convincing and I wanted to trust him. He never even flinched or hesitated as he spoke, his faith in me way too high but extremely comforting. I had to do something about everything, it was what Mum meant by having a chance. She knew I could do it, and I saw that now. She had faith in me too even through the disappointments.
I took a deep breath and balanced myself on my side, throwing my arm around Grimmy to give him a hug lying down. Then I realize that I'm completely and entirely naked, and my penis is touching his sweatpants-clad crotch.
"Well, this is awkward."
Saturday passed in a blur just like the entire previous week, and on Sunday morning I woke up at seven AM, grabbed breakfast and left a note to Grimmy saying that I was going to be gone for the day, but not to call. I had things to do and I had to do them now, so I drove up to Holmes Chapel and met up with Amanda to apologize.
I did my best to avoid paps and photographers since I didn't want my parents to know I was in town, and I managed pretty well. Amanda was home when I called her, and she walked out of her house still in her pyjamas and climbed into my car for a short drive.
Back in secondary school, we'd found a place near school that was surrounded by trees, but we could drive in. I found myself parking there without even knowing where to do, and I turned off the engine so we could talk privately. It was probably one of the most unnerving conversations in my entire life, but we had to have it and I felt terrible about it.
Amanda was very understanding. She'd already known that I'd used her, but even though she insisted that it didn't bother her the slightest, I knew she was partly lying. Firstly because we had been one another's first real relationship with intimacy, and it had ended very abruptly due to the fact that I had auditioned for the X-Factor, and secondly because you could never forget your first love, and for both of us New Year's had been sort of an official goodbye.
I wasn't ready to leave just yet after I dropped Amanda back at her house. She waved and I smiled at her, stayed there until I made sure she was safely back into the house, and then I drove away. I couldn't stay in Cheshire so I decided to drive to Manchester for the rest of the day, but not before driving about five times back and forth in front of my parents' house. I could see their figure through the window moving around the lounge, and at one point I saw Mum looking through the window with a shocked expression as if she'd seen me, but I brushed the feeling away and this time, I kept driving.
There weren't many people I knew in Manchester, or much to do to the least, so I booked a hotel room for the night and crashed there until I thought of something.
During the holidays, the whole situation with Alfie came up, but I knew for a fact that he had refused to speak to Elena since. I remembered seeing him photographed with his boyfriend in Manchester, therefore there was a very miniature chance that he was still in the city even though courses started the following Monday. I contacted a few people to help me find his phone number, but I was extremely disappointed to find out after a few calls that he'd gone back to London.
My only other way was over social medias, but I couldn't DM him on Twitter since he wasn't following me. I opted for Facebook, even though it took me over twenty tries to remember my old password. I found his profile very easily and clicked the 'send message' icon, which thankfully I still could even if he wasn't my friend.
Um, hiiii, it's Harry. Harry Styles. I know this is very strange and I probably shouldn't be sending you a message, but I just wanted to let you know that I am terribly sorry for all the drama about you and your partner and Elena. It isn't her fault, and she's been nothing but devastated over the fact that you two haven't talked in a while. If there's anyone to blame in this, it's definitely me. I should've been more careful about her personal life, including the people around her just like you, and it was my responsibility to keep that behind the cameras. I just wanna help and fix things, and it would be really great if you would consider sending her a message. She's the most incredible girl on this planet and she deserved nothing of what happened, and neither did you. If there's anything I can do, I'll leave you my phone number, but please, Alfred, she really misses you.
I wasn't sure if it would work, but I tried. That night, I slept a little more peacefully due to the fact that I had done two good things during the day.
Monday didn't pass by in a blur like all the other days. It definitely seemed like the longest day and the longest drive of my entire life. I left Manchester at one in the afternoon but got stuck in traffic in almost every city. I had been complaining the week before about people going back to work, but the traffic was just insane with people going to work and students going back to school.
I stopped for food on the way and was stuck in traffic with my phone started vibrating with messages. My twitter was bombarding me with mentions, and I almost braked in the middle of the motorway when I noticed the pictures of Elena. I took the first exit on the left, not even bothering to look where the hell I was, and parked in a close-by Shell.
Elena was everywhere: going to work in the morning, coming back from work in the early afternoon, walking to school, sitting in class. There were photos of her dorm door, including the number on it and the name of the building, and my blood started boiling at the information that was so personal. I quickly saved those pictures and sent them to Liam. He'd been back in London and maybe he could do something.
"Take care of her, please," I typed under the photos.
He quickly replied with, "Where are you?"
"Out of town," I said.
"We're meeting next Monday for the photos. You better be there."
I nodded to myself and gulped, but I typed him back a reply. "I will. Now, take care of her. I'll be back this evening."
When I got no reply, I started the car again and drove off as fast as I could to London. I'd probably get a bunch of speed tickets in the mail, but at this point it didn't bother me. I needed to get back to her as soon as possible.
She wasn't at her dorm when I got to London. It was the first place I checked, but unless she wasn't answering the door on purpose, I figured she wasn't there. There was only one place she could've gone, and for some reason now I knew she was safe.
I had a feeling deep down inside of me, and I trusted it.
So I drove to Grimmy's flat, took a shower and changed into fresh clothes. My holed trousers probably smelled by now, so I dumped them in Nick's laundry machine along with the rest of my clothes and his, and hoped that I didn't put too much detergent. I changed into another pair of plain black jeans and a t-shirt, a thick coat and drove off to my place.
She was fast asleep when I quietly opened the bedroom door, her frame curled up into a ball on the mattress, facing the door. Her face was still damp with tears, her mascara down her cheeks and on the pillow, but she was absolutely gorgeous. It pained me to leave her in the room like that, but I quietly closed the door and walked back in the living room.
Ten minutes later I heard her small feet pacing in the room, the sound of the faucet turning on, and I walked right back upstairs. I caught her at the right time, I checked my phone while she flushed and started thinking of what I was gonna tell her. I definitely didn't go for the right thing.
After screaming at each other, I left the house in a worse condition than I'd arrived in. My heart was crushed in pieces, and I realized that maybe it was completely over. Maybe I was trying too hard for nothing that could be saved.
Those following two days, I stayed locked up in Grimmy's flat and refused to go out until I got a message from Liam saying to get to her flat, ASAP. So I did.
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Chapter End Notes:
PLEASE GIVE ME COMMENTS ON THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE IT'S MAKING ME EXTRA NERVOUS!
For some reason I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter because it made me really sad, but I feel like Harry is changing so much and i'm really happy about it.
Next chapter will be back in Elena's point of view, and hopefully it'll be up on Saturday!
So, what do you think of Harry? Do you hate him for doing what he did, or do you pity him now?
What do you think will happen with Alfie, and with his parents? And with the lads after all of this?
DONT BE A SILENT READER! But if you are I love you just as much!
Don't forget to comment and vote!!Thanks!:D
-Katexx