Getting back to the apartment went by in a blur. Leo didn't say much, just dropping a few questions here and there on how my visit went and when he would see my 'girlfriend' again.
I tried resisiting the urge to check on Willow. But when my eyes noticed a van was nowhere to be seen (meaning Lydia wasn't there), I was a goner.
Hating to admit it, but I actually was a little worn out. With planning Tony's date and all. Hopefully he'd remember their anniversary next time.
Cool November air wisped by adding a chill down my spine. I then realized my birthday was just around the corner.
Every year Nonna would ask what I wanted to which I never specified. She would try to get something out of me, but to no avail a response from me was never given. Her always being there for me and never giving up on a parentless delinquent such as myself no matter how much I worried her, simply set the bar enough in terms of a 'present.'
Before I realized it, Willow's door stood right in front of me. Faintly, I heard the sounds of a child happily laughing behind it.
I knocked before stopping myself. Light footsteps padded closer to the door. Until it opened only a tad when a small boy, looking to be around seven poked his little head out with large blue eyes. A mass of curly black hair covered his head while in Thor footie pajamas. It'd be a crime to call this kid anything but adorable.
"Yes," he said drawing out 'yes' to state my reason for intruding.
"I would like to speak to queen Willow if that is okay with you sir." I bowed my head just a smidge in an attempt to charm my way in.
Before he could answer, a sweet, familiar voice chimed in, "Ryan how many times have I told you not to answer the door for stra-...."
Willow immediately cut herself off when her eyes found mine. Seeing that the small child opened the door even more then.
"Ace?" She shivered when a cold gust of wind flew by, "Come in, come in."
Just then, I took note of how slightly hoarse her voice was. She sounded close to losing it.
I walked in with ease, enjoying the warm air coming from their apartment.
The little boy closed the door quickly not liking the cold air either, "He said he wanted to talk to queen Will-ow." He said it loud and proud as if he were in the actual presence of royalty.
Red crept up her neck in a light blush, "Thank you Ry, how about you play with your hotwheels in the back while the queen talks about grownup stuff."
He giggled, "Okay. When you're done will you tell me," Ryan pointed at me, "Who this big person is then show me your castle?!"
"I'd be happy to munchkin," she smiled kindly at him. While bending down to mess with his thick hair. "But you should also know the giant's name is Ace," she said slowly while looking in my direction; blushing still.
Ryan peered up at me in wonder. It was strange at my height to see someone exceptionally smaller and having to crane my neck just to look. Actually making me feel like a giant. Or in this case the large elaphant in the room.
"Are you from Jack and The Bean Stalk mister?"
Willow cut in before I could reply with 'maybe.' "Okay Ryan off to the back you go," the petite laughed nervously thinking it had offended me which it didn't. She discreetly winced when attempting to swallow and clear her throat.
"Okay," he abided uneffected, prancing off down the hallway.
"Sorry," Willow apologized gazing directly in my eyes. I finally got a good look at her. She now wore a swearshirt with jeans that hugged her amazing curves. The bruises that always seemed to paint her face were beginning to not even be noticeable. Although, I caught Willow holding her stomach a lot—dropping her hand every so often.
"No need to apologize, it was actually kind've amusing if you ask me," I stated softly.
To be honest, I wanted nothing more than to hug and kiss her as the day is long. The urge was strong and uncanny, making me wonder if I should've visited in the first place.
"You must come looking for this," she said and went towards the hall way, only to come back a second later with my jacket on a hanger. A part of me was a little surprised she didn't just toss it somewhere.
I shook my head slightly, "No, you can throw that ragedy thing away for all I care. I just wanted to check on you and apologize." My words came out gentle which didn't normally happen.
"You didn't need to do that, why would you apologize?" She asked confused.
I lowered my voice in case Ryan could hear, "I pissed off Lydia this morning and have a feeling she didn't just forget about it when you both left," I mumbled while edging closer.
Willow visibly tensed, "I'm fine no need to be concerned," she rushed out, it trailed off in raspiness.
Until finally I asked, "Do by chance have sore throat or...?"
"No, no, I'm fine."
I remained skeptical.
A hand went to her abdomen again. "Willow what's wrong with your stomach?" I asked concerned.
She began to look nervous, "Nothing."
"Willow," I said in a warning tone, "Let me see."
Her arms went limp at her sides while giving a hopeless expression. My hands reached out to the end of the sweatshirt and pulled it up midway.
A seering pain shot through me at what I saw. Bruises, cuts, swollen areas, I couldn't suppress my guilt seeing it or anger.
She stepped away pushing it back down, "It was my fault this happened, not yours. I should've gone home instead of bothering your grandmother."
I was astonished at what I heard, "Do you really believe your aunt wouldn't have found another excuse to hurt you," harshness found its way into my tone.
Tightly holding on to her shoulders, my eyes scrutinized her large chocolaty ones filled with fear and shame. "The fact that you put blame on yourself just shows how naive you are to the worst kind of abuse. No one, has any right to put their hands, feet, or anything on you." Saying I was infuriated would be a huge understatement.
Willow's eyes became glossy as I continued. "You deserve better than this. It pains me seeing you go through all of it alone. Promise me Willow if this happens again you'll come to me." Desparity filled my voice. I felt helpless not being able to get her away. Romanitic feelings aside, no one deserved to be abused by the only person who should be watching over them.
"There's nothing you can do Ace. Why would it matter if I came to you or not." She became defensive, thinking that I pitied her and saw her as weak. It shadowed in each brown eye.
"So I can do this." With that every last bit of emotion I could've possibly expressed was wrapped up in an embrace. Both of my arms wrapped delicately around her making sure not to prolongue the injuries.
She froze until leisurely wrapping her arms around me hesitantly. Chin resting at the top of her head, I whispered soothing things in her left ear as warm tears were felt on my hoodie.
"Despite it not being much, just know I'm here." I stated in a subdued manner.
Her sweet aroma of honey met my nose initially making me feel at ease, knowing she'd atleast be safe in my arms.
"I promise to come to you," she whimpered, "As long as this side of you never changes."
When hearing it, I didn't know what to say. Yet she was right. Being considerate of a person's feelings never lasted long. I only cared about my own wellbeing and ran at any sign of giving affection.
After what felt like hours, she let go, her cheeks stained with tears. Reaching up to wipe them away, I unintentionally caressed her tender cheeck as if she were a porcalin doll. Her eyes fluttered closed leaning into it. The want to smash my lips against hers was powerful.
So much beauty in one person, almost too good to be true. So much beauty in one person with baggage only seems appropriate too.
I felt like Alice going down the rabbit hole with no way of return. All of my sentiment for one girl confused me. Never did I expect to see someone in this way again. Every aspect about it scared me; philophobia.
I wasn't right for Willow. Sure, I'd always be there for her but I could no longer see her as anything other than a close friend and neighbor. Reigning in my feelings seemed right, but to what extent? You can't force yourself to not cherish someone in a special way. Almost like your brain activates itself on who you mentally desire in more way than one yet can't act on it because of other.... outside forces. She was vulnerable and I couldn't help feel like I was taking advantage of her emotional rollercoaster. I had too much wrong with me to associate myself with someone so down-to-earth and loving. I'd only ruin Willow with my bad habits, with my unforgiving past. She didn't need that. With everything that was already going on in her life, I needed to help her but that didn't necessarily mean it'd need to go passed close friendship. Although, staying in a 'safe zone' was always a foreign concept to me, and nine times out of ten it usually didn't work due to my lack of self control.
I didn't realize I had been standing there so long until large brown irises met mine again. "I'll help you babysit tonight," I blurted out trying to stir away the thought of moving my lips on to hers.
She looked dumbfounded at my forward declaration. "You don't have to do that, it's not long before Ry has to go to bed."
I curled a silky strand of her hair with my index favor, "You're clearly not in the condition to do it alone, it's the least I can do queen Willow," I smiled weakly.
Chocolate eyes lit up slightly after my attempt of ligtning the mood. "Well...if you insist my dear king."
She courtsied, "And since you're persistant on satisfying thy queen," enthusiasm very evident in her voice, "You can be the one to read his bedtime story."
Didn't expect that. "Alright, I'll do my best for someone that hates reading, even if it's a children's book."
Willow hit my arm playfully, "Oh stop it, reading saves you from pushing a pull door." she remarked playfully.
"Touchè." I made no effort to argue, I've pulled a fair shar of 'push' doors through out life.
"Willy! When are you going to play cars with me?" A small voice said down the hall.
"Tonight, both me and Ace are going to play cars with you . How does that sound munchkin?" She replied joyfully.
"Yaaay!" Ryan cheered while smiling largely. "I get two play pals this time!"
"That you do," Willow said softly grinning affectionately at him. It reminded me of how a mother would look at their child. My heart melted at the sight and at how great of a mother she would be some day. Through out my childhood, I craved moments like that...
Which made me realize, where was the little boy's parents?
Ryan danced in his footie pajamas excitedly hopping down the hallway gesturing with his hand for us to follow. Both of us did what he mentally asked.
When I entered his room (technically Willow's) I was left in awe.
A small twin bed resided in the corner of the room with a black and white comforter; a large image of a rose smack dab in the middle of it.
Widely, a projected black & white portrait of Marilyn Monroe looked to be the largest photo in there. Dark burgundy pillows consumed the bed. One wooden night stand sat right next to it with a frame containing a photo. A blood red chair was located closeby. Two small dressers were near the white curtain covered window—probably for clothing.
Everything was tidy, but also hollow. She barely had anything in there aside from that and Ryan's toy cars and tiny Thor covered rolley suitcase.
"Sit." He said simply plopping down splitting all of his hotwheels up into three sections.
Willow sat indian style without knowing how shocked I was. I didn't expect the theme of her room to be as such. It was so different than what I thought. Her space looked more sophisticated and mature.
Not saying she wasn't, I just expected something more girlyish and predictable. It satisfied me knowing she wasn't.
"Mr. Giant, you can sit down now," he chirped. Both him and Willow were looking up at me.
Until she faced him, "Ryan his name is not M-
"Sorry about that Ryan, us giants have to take in our new surroundings slow," I said matter-of-factly.
Willow suppresed a laugh, "I agree."
For the past hour we had played cars or as Ryan liked to put it 'carpet road race' and let me tell you this, for a seven or eight year old he had the energy of a hummingbird.
We all got on our knees to race the tiny automobiles and followed Ryan around the entire interior of the apartment. Willow winced once or twice which made me heavy-hearted. Thankfully Ryan didn't notice.
His mood only plummeted when Willow announced, "Bedtime!"
"But I don't wanna," he whined drawing out 'wanna' with puppy dog eyes.
"Your sad eyes are not going to work on me this time, it's time for bed," Willow said laughing a little at his effort of swaying her.
Ryan stomped back to the bedroom after our venture around the apartment while gathering his cars. "You promised you'd sing to me Willy."
Her smile faultered some at hearing the word 'sing.' "I forgot all about that... only if you pack all your hotwheels away and get in the bed when I'm done."
He raced to the room quickly, "You sing?" I asked when she faced me.
"Only for him," she replied as though I was going to ask her to.
"Well I guess I better help pick his things up too if I want to catch that which by the way; helped in the long run," I voiced, blantantly amused.
"Reading is the key to success."
I raised an eyebrow, "A success at wasting your time."
She nodded her head agreeing, "You do realize people may oftentime read to kill time."
Rolling my eyes, "Is that why doctor offices have magazines filled with images and very little wording."
"Ever heard of an article?" She retorted.
"The only 'article' I'd ever be concerned about is removing an article of clothing," I shot back suggestively.
Willow smiled and shook her head, "In your dreams king."
"Only if your in them my queen," I bowed comically earning a giggle from her.
"Oh please," she waved me off, with a deep blush.
I went into her bedroom only to see Ryan tucked in and ready; cars packed and everything.
"You work fast little one," I voiced aloud.
"Because Willy's going to sing," voice dripping with joy. I found it absolutely adorable he called her that.
She entered, "Alright who's ready for bed?"
"I am! I am Willy!" Ryan cried excitedly while raising his hand.
"Okay baby boy," Willow pulled up a burgundy chair next to the night stand. "I'll sing only if you go to sleep."
He nodded eagerly waiting for her to continue. She sat up straight, closing her eyes blissfully about to spark our ears with a song.
She sang:
Dear Child
Sleep tight through the night
Without a scare, without a fright
Dear child won't you dream
Of your greatest fantasies
No goblins to fear, I'll always be here
Close your eyes, wake to the sunshine
May your fairytales come to life,
May you rest peacefully throughout the night
No ghosts or ghouls to fear
Dear child, for you, I'll always be here
***********************************
Hey Peeps,
I made that little song at the end up because I prefer my own content rather than typing something cheesy like 'my little sunshine'. Anyway Romance may buzz in the air next chapter ;) What can I say, I'm a sucker for love yet can't find it my damn self. Have great morning/night/day<3
xoxo
-Bri