Warning may cause some tears, I would suggest that you have some tissues next to you and this is a really long ass Chapter hope you enjoy! ❤
-Katexx
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Chapter 26
Anne doesn't acknowledge him, guessing that he's made me angry. "And you deal alright with school and work all at once?"
"Yeah," I nod. "My work schedule is very flexible and I try to combine two classes per day so I only have three days of school. It gives me more full days off to study."
"You seem very organized," she comments, smiling. "Your parents must be proud to see you working so hard like that. I'm extremely proud of you, Elena. Aren't you, Harry?"
Harry rolls his eyes but a small smirk dances across his lips anyway. I watch him, content of the reaction he's trying to hide but fails miserably. "I guess I am a bit proud of my girlfriend," he admits, but my heart stops instantly.
"Harry," I say slowly, trailing off the last syllable of his name. I need to correct him on calling me his girlfriend, because I'm not ready for that. It will happen, it's bound to happen, but right now we still have too much to figure out and fix because we should title our relationship officially.
His eyes lower at his lap when he realizes what he's just said, but then he looks up to meet my gaze. "You're not ready, I know," he whispers in my ear after leaning down. "I'm sorry."
I won't give in. I won't give in. I won't give in! "I'm still angry. We'll talk later."
"Are you two staying for dinner?" Anne interrupts as she feels the tension in the air, Harry's face twisting into a heavy scowl.
He shakes his head. "I was thinking we could go to the restaurant before the party. I've got a bit of a crave for sushi. Is that alright for you?" he asks me.
"Sushi it is." Harry gives me a guilty smile as I continue peeling the potatoes.
Harry's family gathers twice a year: Christmas and New Year's. Because the house is big enough for everybody, the family gatherings have been happening here for the last couple of years. It includes cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends and all. It was a little bit awkward to meet Harry's family on Christmas and not knowing exactly how to label myself, but tonight Harry assured me that we wouldn't have to go through all of it again.
Instead, he thought that we would all go celebrate downtown Holmes Chapel in a pub with his cousins and friends, a place he enjoys going very much every time he's home. Gemma is bringing her friends, Harry has a few high school friends coming as well, and the rest will be family members.
What I wasn't aware of is that while the entire family will be eating dinner at the house beforehand, Harry and I are going on a date. Unless he decides to call it otherwise, but the way he smiles when I confirm I'm up for sushi leads me to believe that his intentions aren't just friendly.
"I'll save you some pie," Anne giggles, taking the potatoes from me. "You lot go get ready, you've been in your pyjamas all day and the family is about to arrive."
Not really pyjamas. I'm wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, and my hair is straightened. Harry is wearing black jeans with holes in the knees and a wife beater. He nudges me off of my stool and I follow him back upstairs, where we're greeted with misery and monopoly again.
The guest room is unfortunately not equipped with a bathroom, so I shotgun Harry's before he even has time to react. His wet towel still sits on the floor by the shower, his dirty pair of abnormally tight boxer-briefs right beside it, but what catches my eye is the bottle of Skintimate shaving cream on the edge of the sink. The cap is off and it looks like it's been used; I knew it wouldn't be a useless present.
I start doing my makeup in front of the small mirror above the sink, leaning in closely to catch as much light as possible, but the door quietly opening next to me distracts me from my eye shadow brush. Harry doesn't say anything, he simply leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed and stares.
We haven't kissed since Christmas. We haven't shown any physical affection ever since our brief kiss on Christmas Eve, apart from a hug when he left for London and another one when he came back, and he gave the same kind of hug to his mom and his sister, so it doesn't even count. We've been nothing more but friends, until he called me his girlfriend earlier.
I made my point clear that I wasn't his girlfriend, not yet. We have things to fix and discuss, and we need time.
Harry doesn't take his eyes off of me until I'm done applying my mascara. Throughout the entire fifteen minutes it takes me to get ready, he shifts from one foot to the other, then back to the other one, he uncrosses his arm and then crosses them again over his chest, but his eyes hardly even blink.
"I know for a fact that I have nothing on my face, so I'm not sure why you're looking at me like that," I snap, raising my eyebrows once my mascara is done.
He shrugs, unimpressed with my bitterness. "Are you going to let me pay for the restaurant tonight or are you going to throw a fit? I'd rather be prepared."
With this comment he earns a heavy roll of my eyes, followed by a long sigh. "I'm going to throw a fit every time you decide things for me or make fucked up comments like you did. Harry, I forgave you for kidnapping me. I think it's about time you forgive yourself."
"I can't!" he shouts, hitting his fist hard against the doorframe. The sound it makes is so loud that the door shakes and I take a step back instinctively. I'm not scared of him, but his eyes widen when he sees my reaction that was only because the sound startled me, and his face falls quickly into an apologetic frown. "I regret it, Elena. I regret it more than everything. If I had to go back, I'd do everything differently, especially knowing that you drive me completely bloody insane like this. I wouldn't even try getting to know you. You're ruining my fucking life."
My heart falls in the pit of my stomach, bile rising up my throat. "You don't mean that."
"I do," he fumes. "I don't even recognize myself around you. You get me so angry, everything you do, I'm always fucking worrying and thinking of ways that I could keep you tied in a room so you wouldn't do what you did last week. The last time I was in love, I -"
"You what, Harry?" I breathe out, tears pooling in my eyes. Gemma told me that Harry had trouble controlling himself and that I'd have to learn to understand him and make him understand that everything is fine, but until now he hadn't shown any true sign of regret. At least, not this way. "It's about time you tell me what the hell is going on in that head of yours."
His lips stay parted, unable to say anything. The few words that left his mouth caught my attention, because I would've guessed that everything had to do with something in his past, something about love. It'd explain why he doesn't trust anyone, not even himself, and why he doesn't know how to accept love.
When I realize that the rims of his eyes are slowly turning red, pupils dilating and glistening, I take a deep breath and start disposing of my makeup back into its small bag. "You don't have to tell me, Haz. It's fine. You said you'd tell me when you were ready, and I'm not going to push you."
"I was hurt, really badly," Harry whispers, the tone of his voice dramatically changing. "She did things to me, Elena. And I loved her so much, and the more I loved her, the rougher she'd be with me. I couldn't hit a woman, God. What fucked up lad would do that?"
Instead of pointing out anything that would make him push me away again, I stay silent until he continues. "Then one day, she begged me to hit her. I think I lost control then, everything was just so completely fucked up and... and I just... you're ruining me."
Tears stroll down my cheeks at his words, at his vulnerability even if I don't understand everything he's saying. But his words sting so much. "If I'm ruining you, what am I doing here?"
He doesn't reply. Quietly, he walks out of the bathroom and disappears out of the room completely. I hear his feet stomping downstairs and the front door shutting loud, almost making the entire house vibrate. He's gone, I think to myself, wondering what Anne must be thinking seeing her son leaving the house this way, eyes brimming with tears and cheeks puffy from holding them in. I wipe the tears from my cheeks furiously and walk to the window, where I see him climb in the Range Rover and ignore the photographers snapping pictures of him.
After almost ten minutes, I realize that he's not coming back anytime soon. My phone sits inert on the bed, not a single text message or call from either him or Alfie, so I snatch it up and walk to the guest room without making any noise.
I've chosen my outfit for tonight; black skinny jeans with a black tank top that's covered by a lace overall that goes down to my elbows. For the house I've got black heels, because Anne mentioned we'd be having a cocktail before dinner but that it would be very casual. However, for the restaurant and the party I have black knee boots that will keep me warm walking in the snow. I get dressed without letting it get to me that Harry may or may not come back for the night.
But six hours later, it's ten thirty in the afternoon on the thirty-first of December and I'm sitting with Gemma and her best friend in the living room chatting to one of Harry's cousin, Ella, when I hear the car coming in the driveway. We've eaten dinner (turkey and mashed potatoes), and dessert (four different pies), and Harry never showed up for any of them. But as everyone who was invited for the New Year's party has already arrived, the only person who it could be is Harry. I see the shape of his body through the window as he approaches the house, all the photographers gone for the night to celebrate with their families, and he walks into the house only to be greeted by his aunts and uncles. Anne scowls at him from where she's standing, but he simply gives her a firm nod in response.
Ella gets up to hug her cousin and then returns to her seat next to Gemma and Chloe. From the corner of my eye I can see Harry being stopped by a couple of people, having to kiss their cheeks and hug them even though he looks slightly uninterested, but I look away as soon as I see his brown leather boots, the ones I got him for Christmas, stopping their pace right next to my feet.
His voice is what startles me. "Elena, are you ready to go?", he asks almost professionally, not in his usual tone at all.
Ben, Ella's brother and also Harry's cousin, jumps from another sofa at the sound of Harry's voice. "Oi, mate," he calls before giving Harry a one arm hug. "We're going to the pub, yeah?"
Harry nods and holds his hand out for me. "Got to be there for the count down. Is everybody ready to go?" I roll my eyes at him and get up without his help.
It takes about ten minutes for everyone who's going to the pub to get ready. I weigh the pros and cons silently in my head of whether or not I should go, but going with good company and avoiding Harry nonetheless sounds much better than staying in Anne's household and avoiding Harry with the company of adults I don't even know. Because what I'll be doing may or may not be the most adult thing to do, anyway.
I switch my shoes to my boots in the guest room that I'll be sharing with Ella for the night. Gemma is sharing hers with the little Archie, Robin's nephew, and with her best friend Chloe. Harry shares his with Ben and Matt, Ella's older brothers who are just a couple of months younger than Harry. Their parents have all agreed to let them sleep over since they rarely have the chance to be with their cousins. All the friends, except for Chloe, are going home after the party.
"So you're just going to ignore me from now on?" Harry breaks the silence once we're sat in a booth at the pub.
We walked loudly to the club with the entire party of ten, meeting with high school friends of Harry's and Gemma's once we got there. Being only four girls out of the entire pack, Ella, Gemma, Chloe and I stuck together for the short time it took to get to the bar, while the boys walked behind to watch after us.
The pub is packed with people, also allowing children under adult supervision, which explains why Archie and Ella could come with us. While Ella is seventeen and almost an adult, Archie is barely eleven. However, he was more than eager to come to this party, and it doesn't seem to be the first time that he visits this pub.
Gemma, Chloe and a couple of other friends of theirs are already by the old school Jukebox picking out their songs for the karaoke. "Life's life," I stubbornly answer Harry's previous question as I slide off the booth and wander to the bar. Harry has given his credit card so our entire party could drink anything.
When I get to the bar, I contemplate all the drink options on the menu while the bartenders serve other people. My first thought would be to take something like beer. A good pint of Stella, I'd call in my best British accent, but I resist the urge to relive my night with Alfie. It didn't well.
"Chosen what you want?" One of the barmen asks as he examines me. I look at him to meet blue eyes and blond hair. "Or what you need?"
"Need is more like it," I half-heartedly joke, my eyes traveling from a Piña Colada, but my heart leaning more towards shots of tequila. So I have to pick if I either want to get drunk fast or slow. Why not both? "Two tequila shots and one Piña Colada, on Harry Styles' tab, please."
The barman grimaces. "Oh, you're one of them," he states, matter-of-factly even though it should've sounded more as a question. "You have an American accent, though."
"I'm here on a study visa," I inform him. I don't know why I feel the urge to tell him that, but I do it anyway. "What's that supposed to mean, 'one of them'?"
Without a word, the guy with short blond hair turns around and retrieves four small plastic cups from under the counter, placing them one next to the other and filling them up to the edge with clear tequila. In a small plate he deposits four lemon quarters and four small packs of salt. "One of those fame sucking people," he finally responses bluntly. "But you're American, so I guess you might just be a bit of a fan girl."
"I asked for two shots, not four," I bite at him, not liking his tone.
"Not going to let a pretty girl like you drink alone, now. Am I?" he smirks, licking the back of his hand and dropping the salt there. I do the same, ignoring his comment. "I'd say it's on the house, but I'd rather leave it on Styles'."
The liquid burns like fire down my throat, leaving my tongue numb and my head floating. The sourness of the lemon brings the taste back to my taste buds, and I take a few seconds to breathe and let the muscles of my face come back to normal. "You know him?" I ask when my face is done grimacing.
He prepares his second shot as he answers. "Who doesn't? I went to school with Gemma. Her brother was a right pain," he chuckles, turning his chin towards Harry who's sipping on a beer and chatting with people. "The lad was a ladies charmer, no wonder he ended up picking an American."
"What makes you say that?" I ask, raising an eyebrow before licking the salt on the back of my hand and drinking down the second shot of pure fire. I bite into the lemon and let the sourness bring me back to reality.
"His sister has been shooting daggers at me for the past fifteen minutes," he grins widely.
To my left is where Gemma stands with her friends, and she gives me a warning look before returning to whatever she' s doing or talking about. "Got history with her?"
He shakes his head and disposes of our plastic cups to replace them with my drink. "Mates in common, that's pretty much it. She's fit, though. I wouldn't have said no, but never really bothered."
Gemma is gorgeous, she really is. She's a female carbon copy of Harry, including the dimples and all, big green eyes and smashing shape. Though she's definitely shorter than her brother, they've still got that same long frame making them look gigantic next to anyone else. "Harry and I are just friends."
"So you're single, huh?"
The fact that he doesn't even bother to serve other people amazes me. Then again, the alcohol running through my body as I casually sip my Piña Colada might be the reason for that amazement, because truthfully I don't really care. I subtly skip his question, not really knowing what to answer to that. "And you're..."
"Marcus," he pauses to grin and throws his hand out for me to shake. "Marcus Hamilton."
I've got a thing for bartenders, I giggle to myself, remembering Vince at the pub in London. Then I ask myself why the hell I just giggled. "Elena Reed," I shake his hand firmly. "Elena Reed from Boston, Massachusetts."
"Well, Elena Reed from Boston, Massachusetts, you've got an hour to find a lucky bloke who'll steal a midnight kiss from you. If you fail to do so, come find me at eleven fifty nine."
With that, Marcus retreats to help his coworkers and I'm left on my own with a bunch of people I don't know, sipping slowly on my drink. After a few minutes to replay what just happened, I get up from the stool, suddenly very happy that I've chosen flat boots instead of heels, and I make my way back to our table in the back of the pub. My first thought is that there's no way I'm going back to the guy for my midnight kiss. Though I don't necessarily planned on having one with Harry, I still hope that just for the sake of our growing friendship, he'll make a move. We've kissed before, as friends, and I wouldn't mind starting the New Year this way.
I sit quietly while everyone talks. Several people sing, others just dance, but I stay in my booth next to Ella, Harry and his friends until one of the other barmen announces a quarter to twelve. I catch a quick glimpse of Harry as he stretches his arm around a girl he's sitting next to, probably a friend from high school or from the area, four empty beer bottles sitting in front of him which I know are his because of his slurred speech, but I look away. I haven't even bothered to finish my drink, my goal isn't to get completely hammered, just slightly tipsy to enjoy my night and not be angry at the man whose fingers are now tracing patterns on her shoulder. I've got my entire life to be angry with him, but New Year's Eve is not for that.
All parties start gathering by the bar when a five minute countdown is set on the flat screen. I get up from my seat with most of the people at our table to get closer to the screen, but I watch Harry sitting more comfortably with the brunette under his arm. He stretches and takes more place on the newly free booth, the girl cuddling into his side and nudging his cheek with her nose. They only get up when the countdown gets to thirty seconds, and I watch them subtly while I start counting out loud along with the entire bar. The barmen are leaning against the counters, hands in the air and screaming the seconds.
Five seconds into the countdown, I glance at Harry and he looks directly at me, eyes meeting mine, but as soon as everyone starts screaming, he breaks our gaze and leans into the girl to press his lips against hers. My insides break apart, my heart shattering into pieces and tears burning in the back of my eyes. I feel numb, I have trouble breathing, and my first reflex to prevent myself from crying is to push through the crowd and find my barman. Bile rises up my throat but I swallow it back, not wanting to embarrass myself right here, right now.
Marcus is leaning against the counter like the others, and I hop on a stool and grab him by the neck to pull him closer. His lips are chapped, rough, and completely different than Harry's, but for now it'll do the job. I hear his gasp of surprise but I simply press closer into him, tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.
When I can't do it anymore, I pull away and almost fall to the floor as I run out of the bar, loud sobs leaving my lips but concealed by the loud roaring coming from everybody celebrating the New Year. Why would he do that? Why would he do that to me? The cold is unbearable with the bare amount of clothing I'm wearing, but it hurts so much. He didn't even hold back; his hand slipped up her neck and to her cheek, and he just casually leaned in to kiss her as if it wasn't the first time. He knew I was watching, he'd caught my eye just a second before, and he did it no matter what. He did it on purpose.
Right next to the bar is a small, dark alley where the backdoor and the garbage containers are hidden. I turn the corner and slide down the slippery brick wall until my butt touches the cold snow covered pavement, and I wrap my arms around my legs. The alcohol doesn't even have any effect on me anymore, I've completely sobered up after seeing Harry kiss someone else. It makes me wonder what he was doing this afternoon when he stood up on our date. Was he with the girl? Did he go see anyone else? What about all our promises to be together forever?
I promised him I'd never leave him, but he never said it back. Was it what he wanted all along, to make me fall for him even more and then break my heart?
My hands are covered in mascara when I look up, tears strolling down my face and nose blocked from crying too much. I can barely feel the cold, the snow, or anything around; only the pain in my body and the numbness. I love him. I love him so much. Why couldn't I tell him that before?
Now I'm not so sure I did the right thing to take some time off with him. We need it, but to this point?
"Elena?" A small voice calls and I notice a shadow on the ground. "Elena? I brought you your coat."
When I look up, Ella is standing with my coat in her arms, hers around her body, and she's smiling weakly at me. Though she's a small seventeen-year-old with innocence radiating from her, she looks more mature and understanding than anyone I've ever met.
She carefully approaches, her small hand reaching down to touch my arm, and she helps me stand up. "Put it on, it's cold," she states, holding the coat opened for me to slide my arms in. In the pockets are my phone and some money, which means I've got nothing left in the bar except my dignity. "Come on, we'll go back to the house. I was getting bored anyway."
I nod, stifling a sob in my hand as I wipe the tears still falling. My lips part to thank her, but the only sound that comes out is a whimper, more tears coming. "It's okay," she acknowledges with a tiny smile, eyes glistening under the street lamps as she wraps her arm around mine. "I don't live really far from here. Would you rather go to my house instead for the night? You're welcome there."
Ella's voice is so small, almost inaudible. "Can you drive?" I ask her just as quietly, her head going up and down in a nod. "Can you drive me to the train? I want to go home."
"Trains only come every hour or so at night. Are you sure you want to do that?"
"Yeah."
So we walk to Anne's house. We go in by the backdoor not to disturb the adults' party, but as soon as we're in the guest bedroom upstairs, Ella runs downstairs to get Anne. Both of them hold me in their arms as I cry, completely broken into pieces at this point. Anne offers to drive me to the train herself, and tries to convince me to wait until morning, but I want to go now. I need to go home, then if I have to I can go to a hotel, but I need to go back to London.
By the time I've packed all my things with the help of Ella, and temporarily calmed the cries, everyone has arrived. Gemma gives me a hug, tears of her own falling down her cheeks as she understands how much her brother has hurt me, but when I look around, he's nowhere to be seen.
"He left with her, didn't he?" I murmur into Gemma's shoulder. All I feel is her nod, and I break down again.
Ella is the only sober one, so she borrows her parents' car and drops me off at the train station after I've bid farewell to everyone. She walks to the platform with me, stays with me as I purchase my train ticket, and sits with me until the train arrives. We exchange numbers, because she's a great person and because she absolutely wants me to text her when I get back to London, but when I walk into the train, the wagon is empty and I cry loudly in my seat until sleep takes over my body.
Maybe our relationship isn't as meant to be as I thought it was, after all.
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Chapter End Notes:
This is a very sad chapter and I really really really love it but it breaks my heart.
Please tell me how you feel about Harry cheating on Elena, or do you not consider it as cheating?
What do you expect to see happening in the next chapter now that their relationship is "over"?
I hope you all had a great week, please don't be a silent reader, but if you are, I love you anyway!
Don't forget to comment and vote!Thanks!!:D
-Katexx