Hi dear all! Here comes chapter 13 and I hope you'll enjoy it :-)
We have Shane's past, which is not a simple and easy past to tell and take...let's see how things will go between them. It's entirely from Emmett POV.
Let me know what you think, please vote and comment and whatever, it makes me super happy!! Thank you for reading it :-)))
Dedicated to all of you and especially to DarkBlade, which I know loves Dima, but his story isn't out yet :-) Hope you'll like it anyway, my dear!
On the right, Shane's pic
Btw, the Garda is the Irish police.
Cheers
EMMETT POV
This morning Shane left with me, he said he had to meet with a group of friends to play some soccer together and then he had his social works or whatever he had to do. I still didn’t know what was that about, this morning I was a bit in a hurry and Shane was a bit sleepy. So not the best time to start a proper and serious conversation.
I wanted to know everything about him, even though the idea was a bit scaring, because it meant we would grow closer, knowing each other past. My mind was cursing me non-stop and I decided to tune it off and send it to hell. My old inner self couldn’t be happier. Especially after last night.
Fuck, last night it’s been crazy.
Literally.
I mean, I went down on a guy, well, not a random guy, but Shane. And I liked it very much. What am I saying? I loved it. It made me feel so much in power and control, to be able to make him moan and whimper and move like that, that it was almost addicting. When he then confessed he had never done anything like that, even better. That was how it was supposed to be: to do crazy stuff only with me, to moan only for me. Because I was the best in that and no one else would ever make him feel like that.
Oh shit.
What was I saying? I was just getting back to my old player self.
This wasn’t good and I had no intention what so ever of going back to that side of me, not with Shane anyway. I promised I wouldn’t hurt him or betray him. And I will not. But shit, the things I would like to do to Shane ... just thinking about it was enough to have me hard.
The fact was that what we did last night taunted me the entire morning and I couldn’t really focus at work. Well, not that I had much to do and most of the time I pretended to pay attention to my colleagues, because they were a damn pain in the neck and annoying. They would blab non-stop about absolutely pointless things, like the rain and the weather. I was sitting there in the teacher office when the other PE teacher came over and sat beside me, purposely shifting her red hair around her slender shoulders. Her name was Aoife Bennet, from somewhere around Cork, and believe me, she had such a damn strong accent that I had some problems to understand her sometimes; it made me question my own English.
She was sort of pretty and more or less around my age, I guess a couple of years older, with bright eyes and fit body. But her eyes were nothing if compared to Shane’s eyes, they were boring and dim if compared to the way his eyes blazed, burned, dances, how liquid and vivid they were, what effect they had on me.
I shook my head to remove for at least a moment his eyes from my mind, because I wasn’t sure what my face was showing at the moment and I sure didn’t need to look horny or whatever the like.
“Emmett, how are you? You seem a bit tired today.” She passed to call me by my name even without bothering to ask if I was fine with that. Which I wasn’t, because I had no interest for her. Still, didn’t want to behave like a rude prick and get in more annoyance.
“I’m perfectly fine, thank you.” I pretended to look at some papers.
She stood up and came closer to me, brushing her body against my arm. Now, this was too much. I pushed my chair on the side to gain some distance. Either she didn’t notice or she decided to not notice it. What a pain in the neck. She came again closer and now I was getting really pissed.
I let the paper on the desk and stood up in a flash. Aoife stumbled back taken by surprise and just brushed back her shoulders her long red hair.
“I was wondering, tonight we are going out for some drinks, it’s Joseph’s birthday. Why don’t you come with us?”
Her question was “What don’t you come with me?” and I almost groaned in annoyance. I mean, did I have a sign or something written on my forehead asking for people to fucking bother me? I made clear enough I didn’t like those things.
“No, thank you. I have other plans.” Now take the cue and beat it.
“C’mon it’s a birthday party; you really should come and have fun with us.”
I sighed silently.
What the heck was wrong with girls? I mean, I knew I was attractive and everything; back in the States they would just do everything for me. Well, back then I was also one of the most famous and most paid NBA players, so that helped a lot. Still, leave me alone and don’t annoy if I’m not interested.
Then I thought, would Shane be jealous of her?
Now, what was I thinking about?
“No, really, but thank you for asking. Now I have to go.”
“Oh, a date?” Shit, she was so cheeky and nosy.
Why people didn’t simply mind their own business? God, that annoyed me so damn much. See, that’s why I have always avoided to socialize, because it’s a real pain the neck.
“Aoife, what I do in my private life concerns only me and no one else. Now, if you’ll excuse me, bye.”
I left her there, collected my things and went to take the bus to go to the gym. Shane hasn’t sent a message yet, which meant he was still out busy. The sky was getting really heavy and gloomy and I damn hoped it wouldn’t rain the entire day. A clearly vain hope, because as soon as I entered the gym outside everything went grey and wet. The phone rang in my pocket and I thought it was Shane, but wasn’t.
It was my sister.
‘Alice.’
‘Emmett brother, am I bothering you?’
‘Are you kidding me? I missed you in these days, what were you up to?’
‘Same old shit, school, papers and those stupid parents of us.’
She giggled. I really missed Alice in these past days, I wanted to call her, but I knew she was busy and anyway I had myself quite a lot going on.
‘How is school?’
‘Great as usual. Oh, did Jordan call you?’
I sighed, I knew it was her that gave Jordan my new number. Who else? Jordan, my former teammate and very good friend, was the person that sent me a text last night and had me drop back in my dull and dry state, which pissed off Shane very much. He wrote me something about our old team and said he missed me. Then I had the idiotic idea to watch the game and God, I felt like being swallowed deep down into the ground and not being able to breathe any more.
‘So it was you giving Jordan my number.’
‘Sorry brother, but he has insisted for so long that I couldn’t resist him any longer. He really misses you. You know he always backed and defended you.’
‘I know...it’s just that..’
I sighed again and rubbed my forehead. I felt bad to face him, because I felt as if I let him down, as if I betrayed the trust and friendship he had in me. See? I was really a damn coward.
‘I know how you feel, Mett.’
I chuckled, I liked how she used to call me.
‘He sent me a message, he didn’t call me, but I haven’t replied yet. I don’t know what to say to him.’
‘You should answer him, he really misses you. He got in many arguments to defend you and say it was the damn press fault and..’
I stopped her immediately.
‘It was no one’s fault but mine, Alice. And we all know it. I was the one that decided to dope and then got addicted; no one forced me to do it.’
Just thinking about that was enough to make me sick, to make me remember what I went through and that feeling I had last week was awakening again, crawling up my throat. You’re are a loser, Emmett. Now you’re nobody, you lost everything. That was its cursing chant, turning over and over in my head. I shook my head so strong that I could detach it from my neck.
‘Alice, it’s ok, let’s talk about something else. Please.’
How pathetic could I be?
‘Sorry Mett, didn’t want to depress you. Sorry.’
‘It’s ok, it’s me, don’t worry.’ I thought about Shane. What would my sister say about him? About me going out and lusting for a guy ten years younger than me? ‘Hey Al, I met someone.’
‘WHAT??’ She almost pierced my eardrum with her shrieking voice. ‘You what? Is that a joke, brother? Oh my God, you really met someone? How is she? What’s her name?’
Now, this was a bit complicated to explain simply via phone. I mean, it wasn’t a she, but a he.
‘Alice, let’s Skype later, if you’re free and I’ll tell you more, ok?’
‘Emmett, you sound too suspicious.’
‘Hey little mouse, don’t play the older sister card, got it?’ I snorted and she laughed. She knew me so well.
‘Deal bro, I’ll call you later on Skype. Love you!’
‘Love you, too.’
When I went back home, Shane still hadn’t contacted me and I was getting a bit anxious. The shower didn’t help me much to relax and considering outside was still raining and it was dark, I just couldn’t shake away the strange feeling from me. I mean, Shane wasn’t a kid or anything like that and he had his own life, but last time I felt uneasy he had been beaten by his uncle. I made a cup of coffee and then slumped on the sofa and just laid back there, contemplating outside the window. It was really dark and rainy and it was past six. Why wasn’t he back yet? Did something happen? I went to call him, but someone rang the bell.
It was Shane, completely drenched in rain and a huge grin on his face.
“I was about to call you, where were you?” My voice was a bit too harsh and ordering. He didn’t mind it, though, given how he greeted me.
He jumped on me wrapping me with his arms and legs, completely soaked. That was really nice of you, brat.
“Shane, you’re such a brat.” I snorted.
He just chuckled and shook his wet head around, like a dog. His hair sprayed me and I began to laugh with him. I hugged him and grabbed tight his legs, kicking the door close. I tried to walk in the living room and then dumped Shane on a carpet.
“You need a shower.” I chuckled, resting down beside him.
“Want to take it with me?” He provoked, his eyes dancing with that dark and green light.
I was about to answer, but I noticed a cut on his leg that I didn’t notice before. He wore shorts, dumped with rain, green and a bit of mud.
“What happened?” I asked with hard voice and pointing his knee.
Shane smiled and pecked my lips.
“Nothing, we just had a bloody tough game today and the rain didn’t help.” He traced the line of my neck and just smiled with those provoking and cocky eyes. I swear they had such an effect on my old self.
“You sure?”
“Are you worried for me, sham?” He purposely stressed his accent.
“Does it bother you?” I knew he didn’t like people pitying him or feeling sorry. I wasn’t, but I was genuinely worried for him, especially after what happened yesterday.
“It doesn’t Em, as long as you don’t feel bloody sorry for me. I hate that.”
I ruffled his wet hair.
“Go get a shower.” I told him, sitting up and resting my back on the couch. “I’ll make something to eat and then I want to hear about you, is that clear?” I wouldn’t take a refusal, that was a given.
Shane nodded and I saw he was a bit worried about that. I wonder what he went through in his past, because it was clearly something that bothered him and something that that Roman guy knew and made him that protective towards the brat.
“So, no joining me?” He joked, to ease away his sudden tension.
“Better not, brat. Otherwise we won’t have dinner tonight.” I winked and stood up, pulling Shane on his feet and pushing him in the direction of the bathroom.
“You’re so controlling and authoritarian.” He snorted.
“Oh Shane, you have no idea.” I sniggered, hearing his almost soundless gulp. Yeah, he had no idea how much I loved to feel in charge, having power and rule things the way I pleased.
I roamed in the kitchen thinking about what to cook. Shane had finally given up and was showering. I studied what I bought earlier and decided to go for simple steaks with salad and smashed potatoes, which I just needed to stick in the microwave to have them cooked.
Shane came out just when I was about to arrange the salad and guess what? He was half-naked. He did that on purpose, because he knew very well already, how my body reacted to his. I tried to ignore it and told him to help with the veggies, but he had that arrogant satisfied smirk on his face, knowing I was trying to ignore him.
Cocky brat.
That’s another thing on the payback list.
When dinner was ready, we sat on the table I had in the living room and enjoyed our food while some sit-com was on TV; apparently, one of Shane’s favourite.
“Em, your cooking is amazing.” He complemented, swallowing a chunk of steak and salad.
“Thanks, but it doesn’t take much to make steaks and salad.”
“They’re still very yummy.” He smiled and forked more food. He sure had a big appetite, but I think it was also due to his current living situation. I don’t think they cared much for him and his diet. That annoyed me very much, but I decided to push it away.
“Well, I got also a cheesecake, I’m sure you’ll like it.” I said, forking my own steak and potatoes.
“Bloody hell, you kidding me? You really got a cake? I don’t remember last time I ate a cheesecake! It’s my favourite!” His jaded blue eyes smiled like a kid’s eyes, it was really sweet to see, it was a genuine and authentic happy smile. I just looked at him and smiled back, nodding to his question.
I let him be for a while, but then I couldn’t keep quiet any longer, so while we sat on the couch eating the cake, I asked Shane.
“Shane, will you please tell me what happened to you? You said that today you had the usual social work to do. What did you mean?”
I put down my plate on the carpet and studied his liquid eyes, getting almost lost in their infinite shades of jade and ocean blue. He stiffened a bit and adjusted his position on the couch, nesting himself on the corner. I moved closer, pulled his legs over my laps and then brushed his messy dark blonde hair.
“Won’t you run after I tell you?” His voice was hesitant and he didn’t look at me, but at his plate.
“Shane, look at me.” My voice was very calm, which almost impressed myself, but I knew it was what he needed. He looked at me and I pulled his face to mine, and softly kissed his lips. He slightly grinned and then took a deep breath.
“I ... I...” He sighed and then closed his eyes. I gave him the time he needed. When he reopened his eyes, they were an ocean of green and blue fire, darkened by an overwhelming mix of feelings. “You remember I told you my fecking folks kicked me out after they realized I wouldn’t sit still and take their shit on me, right?”
I just nodded and kept stroking his hair, it seemed to relax him and it sure relaxed me.
“So I found myself on the street at not even 15, I had no idea what to do, where to go. I tried some other relatives, but they all slammed their bloody door at my face. I stayed for a while with a friend’s family, but ... well... things went bad also there.”
I didn’t like the look on his face. What the hell happened there?
“Shane, what happened?” My voice was now far from being calm.
“Ehm... his older brother had some bloody sick ideas about me and he thought that because I was gay, I would just go with anyone. What a tool.” He snorted, shaking his head at the memory.
“Don’t tell me he dared to...”
He cut me off immediately, grabbing my hand.
“No, he didn’t, but simply because I left the place.” He looked at me with piercing eyes. “Em, can you promise to just keep calm while I tell you? It’ll make it easier for me, it’s already bloody difficult to say you everything.”
I took a deep breath and then promised I would keep calm and silent. He was right.
“So, I found myself again on the street. Believe me, you just don’t realize it until it’s night, cold and fucking raining and you have no idea where to go and what to eat. I still couldn’t believe it. It was like a nightmare and I thought soon I was gonna wake up and forget everything. Well, it wasn’t fecking dream, but bloody reality. For few days I just spent the night inside fast-foods that stay open the whole night, with no one bothering you. But then... then I began to get hungry, tired, scared, wanting to shower... I felt so bloody terrified that I couldn’t think straight. So I tried to go back home and ask them to take me back. I even thought I could resist their beatings, but they bloody chased me away.”
Shane slumped back and looked so lost and broken. I took his plate, put it on the carpet and scooped him on my laps, having his head nuzzling my collarbone. One thing was keeping quiet and silent; one was keeping relaxed and calm. I couldn’t. I had to feel him close. I couldn’t even begin to think to understand what he went through, what he felt. A kid of fourteen years alone and abandoned on the streets.
How the hell did he even survive?
What happened to me was nothing.
“How did you go on, Shane?” I felt my voice shaking with anger and tension.
“Well, I was afraid to go to the Garda. What would have happened? What if they’d take me to some place for homeless people and kids? Then maybe shipped to another knackered and bloody wrecked family? The idea terrified me.” He hugged me. “So I tried to look for a job to get a bit of money, but wasn’t easy. The only things I got were helping with cleanings pubs at night or washing dishes. I couldn’t do strong jobs, because I was underage and had no permission from my family. Ain’t bloody easy here to sneak in an underage kid.”
“Money weren’t enough for anything, barely for food. So I slept on hidden places, abandoned building and the like. Then I found someone that helped me for a while and took me in his place.”
Another face I didn’t like. Another wave of anger and fury travelled my entire body.
“He kept me with him in exchange of ...” I knew I would want to destroy something after hearing what I was going to hear. “sex.”
I closed my eyes and swallowed down damn hard. I breathed deeper to try to calm my inner old self burning with mixed feelings. He didn’t like to hear that Shane had been with someone else and I honestly didn’t like it either.
“You stayed?” My voice was dry and empty.
“I had no other place and I knew nothing, I just thought he was being kind with me. I was an ignorant and naive brat.” Also his voice was dry, and annoyed and pissed.
“Sorry Shane. I didn’t mean to judge you or anything, it just ... it just pissed me off the thought of that bastard.” Then it hit me what I have done to him last night and yesterday morning. Did I just behave like that bastard? “Shane, will you forgive me for what I have done to you yesterday?”
“Em, what the hell are you talking about? Are you a tool? I hit on you first, because I like you, because I want you. You have bloody nothing to be forgiven. You didn’t let me stay for sex, right?”
“Yeah, not for sex. I just wanted you to stay over, to know more about you. But shit, I can’t resist you...” He looked straight into my eyes and deliberately kissed me hard and hot. I growled and tried to push him away.
“You don’t have to resist me, Emmett. It’s mutual and I’m bloody aware of how much I want you and how I effect you. Do you understand?” I pecked his lips, so soft and sweet, the taste of cake was still there. “And I feel good with you, I feel like you care for me, but maybe I’m...”
“You’re not mistaking, Shane. I do care for you, very much.”
That was true and illogical, because we had just met and we knew almost nothing of each other. We weren’t properly together, but trying out something, even though I promised I wouldn’t hurt him. So, it was illogical and irrational, but that’s how it was. I couldn’t deny the fact.
“Thanks.”
I cuddled him a bit longer in my arms and then asked him to continue.
“I stayed there for a while, few months. At first it’s been horrible, but I knew nothing. I was such a bloody tool, but then he got fed up and kicked me out. Again. So what do to? I fecking began to steal food and got caught by the Garda few times, but they let it go. Then desperation took over me, after a year of almost being a homeless knacker. I was losing my bloody sanity, I swear. When you are bloody hungry, you would do anything to get money or food. So I thought to sell myself.”
He fell silent and pressed his forehead on my neck. I just brushed his hair and his arm.
I didn’t know what to say. I just thought it was safer to keep my mouth shut, not because I was mad at Shane or thought less of him or whatever, but because I was fuming with wrath.
“I think God decided to finally look down on me, because the first person and last I tried to sell myself to was Roman.” Now I understood completely what that guy meant last night. “ I saw him one night waiting outside some place, leaning against a wall alone and I thought he was the perfect target. He couldn’t believe me, but when I insisted, he slapped me so hard that I still remember the pain. He said I was an idiot to do that, that I was risking my life. So he kept me there, then Enna came out of that place and I thought I saw some angel. Roman wanted to report me, but Enna convinced him to not. They took me to their place, and fed me and lend me some money. But...but after being betrayed many times I didn’t trust them, so I stole money and ran away.”
His voice was now trembling and I had no idea how he managed not to cry. I just held him tighter to me and let him calm down a bit. There was nothing to say now.
“Then I began to steal again and did something very stupid, I tried some sort of acid, to make me forget everything. Bloody stupid and dangerous, what a tool. I entered a shop under the acid effect and let you imagine the bloody mess that came out of that. I just remember I woke up inside a jail at one Garda station, completely gone and fecking blasted, with no one to call for help. But Emmett...I had been just bloody lucky.”
“What do you mean?” I couldn’t even possibly image how he could consider himself lucky. I was having a real hard time keeping calm and quiet. I felt like I wanted to beat to pulps his family and everyone that had touched him sickly and hurt him.
“When I searched my pocket for more shit, I found a rugged piece of paper. It was Enna’ mobile number and he had written his name and to call him when I needed it. Bloody hell, that was ... that was, don’t know what to say. Like an angel, know what I mean?”
I just nodded.
“We called him and they came over the Garda station. Somehow Enna managed to avoid major problems for me, I had to go back to school, do useful social works and donate blood to prove I was clean of bloody drugs and shit like that. Then Enna and Roman contacted my family and my uncle decided to take me in, under the condition of money from the welfare and me avoiding any more troubles. So now, you see why I can’t bloody react and why I have to do what they say. I just need to get my fecking diploma, part as well of the agreement, and then I’m bloody free from that hellhole.”
“Enna is really like an angel, isn’t he?” I said, mostly thinking aloud. An angel like my sister Alice.
Shane smiled at me warm and sweet, thinking about Enna had always that effect on him. I hugged me very close to me and rested my chin on his head.
“Sorry for everything that happened to you, Shane. It was horrible... I, argh..right now I just would like to go to your family and break their necks and beat them all.” I wasn’t being extra dramatic, I was being only honest. How could a family condemn their own kid to such a life experience? It was something inhuman; it was unspeakable. “Sorry for calling you a spoilt and rotten brat. You should punch me another time.”
Shane chuckled and playfully punched my chest.
“Emmett?”
“Yes?”
“Please, don’t just stay with me, because you pity me or feel sorry... I would hate that and I’d rather be alone.” I could see it from his eyes, but I wasn’t with him for that, mostly it was more egoistic, for myself.
“Shane, I sure am not keeping you here because I feel sorry for you. I do it because I want to and because somehow you stir back my old self and that side of me likes it, and I feel I cannot let you go, even though I know it might be troublesome. So, you see? I’m just being egoistic here.”
He wrapped his arms around my neck and then straddled me, chaining my eyes at his.
“If this is your concept of being egoistic, then I like it and be bloody egoistic with me.” He first brushed my lips, closing his eyes and savouring the touch, and then he pressed harder.
I responded, locking my fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth closer, needing to taste him and have him all mine. My tongue took his and we kissed for long time. It wasn’t lusty or hot, but a needing kiss, craving for each other presence and nearness. Shane needed me close to him, even if he wouldn’t say it. I needed him close to me, even if I wouldn’t clearly admit it.
We broke apart simply because we wanted to look at each other eyes.
“Thank you, Em.” He whispered on my lips.
“For what?”
“For not bloody freaking out, judging me or pitying me. For simply taking me as I am.”
“For taking your cocky and troublesome and provoking self? No problem, brat. My pleasure.” It was actually true, I couldn’t feel pity for him, he was too strong and mature for that, but I was still very much enraged with his family and better for their own safety that I’ll never meet them. Shane chuckled and pecked my lips another time.
An idea travelled my mind. Shane and I needed some time alone to just enjoy together and to relax after these full days. And I wanted to do something for him, to make him happy.
“When do you need to go back to your...place?” I suddenly asked.
“Monday after school, why?”
“Would you like to go somewhere, this weekend? I think after this long week we both need a break.”
“Are you bloody kidding me?” He couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it yet myself what I just asked. “That would be awesome ... oh... better not.” He looked away, a bit down.
“Why not?”
He bit his lower lip looking embarrassed. What was the problem?
“How do I say it?” He looked at me and then looked away. “I have no bloody money at the moment.”
“Shane, I just invited you, it was my idea. So you don’t need money.”
“No, that’s not fair, I can’t fecking let you pay for everything, I mean, amn’t a bloody girl.” God, when he was nervous his accent was insane, and he was so stubborn. My old self snorted annoyed. Whom he thought he was to refuse my invitation? That sort of annoyed me.
“Shane, I’m taking you to Galway this weekend and I don’t want to hear a word of complain about it. Is that clear, brat?” There, my arrogant and assertive self was back, my voice didn’t admit more reply or challenge.
It was decided.
Shane opened his mouth to say something, but I shot him dark glare, telling him to shut up. He snorted and shook his head, but then attacked my mouth with crazy desire.
Shane liked the idea.
“You’re such an arrogant and stubborn tool, Em. Know that?” He breathed pulling back from our now hot kiss, smiling happy and sweet.
“Well, deal with that.” I groaned.
My laptop started to ring; it was my Skype.
“What’s that?” He asked looking around.
“Skype, Alice is calling me.”
Something flashed in his beautiful and liquid eyes.
Jealousy.
He was jealous of me. I liked that, I liked the idea that he wanted me and I provoked in him such reactions, because that was how it was supposed to be with me.
God, again my old self.
“Alice?” He said, with a slightly annoyed voice. I grinned inwardly.
“Alice is my sister. She’s calling me on Skype.” I stood up, having Shane wrapped around me, then he let go and went on his feet.
“Oh I see, your sister.” He said, studying me with his hypnotising jaded glance. I nodded.
“Do you want to meet her?” I suddenly asked, smirking at his surprised expression.
Author's chit-chat:
So, what do you think of Shane's past? Pretty hard and sad, right? I think the title of the story applies for both of them...don't you agree?