Ch. 1

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First chapter.

I am trying to use American and Irish accent and slangs, hope it works out good. Don't be pissed for what the protagonist says, the second protagonist will give it justice ;-) and btw, I love Irish accent, so just to say.

It's a mature boyxboy, more a manxman, so you are warned about that and the content.

Dedicated to VanillaTwins, thanx for fanning :-)

Hope you'll like it, please let me know with comments, votes, critiques etc..

Enjoy it! xox




My sister tried to call me on the phone, probably she was on Skype and wanted to chat with me. Too bad I saw three hours later.

She was having a hard time there and I was sorry for her and hated even more my family. Inside, they blamed her for helping me and getting her hands dirt with me, keeping in touch with me, outside they proclaimed her wonderful compassion, all inherited from the family. Yep, because they turned what happened to their favour. They tried to help their good for nothing son with the only help he was willing to accept, from his beloved sister. But after that, he left the country and disappeared like an ungrateful son. They cried their eyes out for me and tried to convince not to leave, but I was nothing but a coward, so I just left them behind. Well, it wasn’t completely wrong.

I had been and I still was a damn coward. I didn’t have the guts and will to face everything that came from that accident and I didn’t show any humbleness trying to atone for my weakness and sin and ask for forgiveness. Why should I ask for forgiveness? Yeah, what I had done was wrong, stupid and maybe immoral. But I had done it and nothing can change it. Period. I felt like I was the best over everybody, I felt so full of myself and superior that nobody deserved my sorry and excuses. Well, I got what I deserved, that’s for sure. But people around me expect me to be a super human, they worshipped me like a hero, because of my ability, my speed at changing paths, directions, sort of the game, at exchanging passes. Yeah, I was the king of that and I knew it. But that damn day, my knee decided it was fed up of its king and left me down.

What a coward and weakling I am, it’s really pathetic and disgusting. But why nobody ever told me that, why nobody tried to understand what was going in my mind, my dilemma, my worries, my fears. They just didn’t care and pushed over the edge. And towards to lowest and dirtiest hole. People around you are useless most of the time.

My sister Alice was the only exception. She wasn’t a person, she was a wonderful and real human being. I miss her so much, every single day.

So, I played like at my lowest and worst level, I doped myself and then got into a place to get clean and then ran away, avoiding my responsibilities and duties. Yeah, a pompous and arrogant coward I was and an ungrateful son.

That’s pretty much what people around there thought. Nice, isn’t it? Well, my family didn’t help in that in the least. No, if anything, they helped me to pack my crap and get lost.

My sister had a mind on her own, always considered the black kettle of the family for her independence and extravagance.

Also my younger brother Jamie was a cool kid, but he hates me now with all his mighty. In his case, I didn’t bear any grudge, I knew I fucked up big time and I knew I was his hero, so he could only hate me, blame me and throw crap on me when they ask him about me. I understood him, from a certain angle, and thus didn’t hate him.

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