A rhythmic click snip of the scissors. Long locks of sandy blonde hair fell on to the wood deck of the boat. Noah's hair was long before he sat down on the deck chair at the bow of the boat. It fell down to the middle of his back, hanging thickly. So, damn luxurious I find it increasingly harder to concentrate on my hair cut task. I kept worrying that it would get caught up a while after he was working. I drag my fingertips through his thick hair. Shaking it out and taking another cut of hair. It made the sandy locks fall to just beyond his shoulders instead.
It had been months since I'd been on the boat. Memories of short dates and trips with the kids flooded me. Along with my ugly feelings, that woman's hand dragging along his chest like she knew. If I dwelled on that thought, I'd scream. Another clip snip and more of his hair falls to the boat deck. The blue ocean rocks us with a gentle embrace of waves. In the distance, the dock with the other boat, Noah's repairing. The driver in the truck stopped talking the closer we got to the Marina. And when we pulled into the Marina, there were only two sailing boats in the sea of high-tech yachts. It was like his boats were some throw away to bygone ages. One boat had been built to appear that way. The other boat was built in the 1800s and painstakingly restored. It was like every time we could have been talking when I dropped by for work he was banging away on that boat. When he wasn't plugging away at that other boat, he was walking towards Folsom Lake. He did everything in his power to ignore my existence. I was truly fired from his whole damn life for a while. But now we are thankfully in a better place. I shake out his hair again, my fingers scratching his scalp gently and shaking out the locks. Then I line the ends up for more cuts.
We've not started the trip yet, and the dock looms in the distance. Haven't even spoken much either. Each time he fidgeted, so did I. It was unsettling, I thought I was hiding my anxiety about losing him in the truck. But maybe I didn't do such a good job. Noah sat in the seat, so still until another round of fidgets would start. His hands bunched together tight. He really hates getting his hair cut. At least he's not digging nails into his palms. Had to try to make it better. With a tiny smile, I scratch his scalp again, running my hands through rhythmically. Trying my best to not make it such an unpleasant experience. His hands in his lap relax. Shirt off and trunks on sitting in the slight breeze. He's very much the modern embodiment of Neptune that I call him. My busy fingers moving instead of cutting the next part. It distracted him and I relaxed myself with the task. I combed out the hair again, checking if the length was correct. Giving the big ole lion mane a wash and dry. Then setting up for the cut took almost no time. But we were deadlocked. In this silent standoff, that's mostly on my part. Both in our own little world.
Until...
I dig my nails deeper into his hair, scratching the scalp and he tilts his head back. A big smile down at him and he smiles back at me. Even when we spend a second in a bad spot, we get back into a good spot pretty fast.
"I like that," he says in his deep voice. At the museum I thought when Theo met Noah it was like a cat meeting a dog. Theo being the dog and Noah being the cat. If I had known how much he loved the scratches, I wish I had done it sooner. I'd always been very careful with his hair during sex. Sometimes Noah gets overloaded and shuts down. Plus, I'm of the camp don't touch a black woman's hair unless invited. And I tend to extend that courtesy outwards. His hair is lush, thick and everything I imagined. If I could have purred and got away with it, I would have. I'd be the cat instead of him and even happier for it.
"I like that too," I said to him. It looks like the #teamcum train was absolutely unstoppable. I was getting ready without him just doing this. Toot, toot. I had a few cuts left, but now that he was more relaxed, I wish it would last longer. I took the last snip. "Noah, why did you rebuild the other boat? Don't you normally build a new one?"
"Yes, but that one was going to the landfill," he said.
"Oh," I answer in a leading way. Long on the oh because from the few things I know about Noah, he can be very clockwork. Working out at the same time, eating a lot of the same things, and lifting weights. I had to buy Henley the same colors as his old ones. Which is harder than you think because it's never the same color. It's easier to buy 10 or 20 of the same thing. Then I'd put them into plastic vacuum bags out of the sun and take them out when needed.
"The New Star was a ship designed and built in the tail end of the 1800s. It was an explorer ship." Noah told me and reached for me. I shift into his arms, ready for him to hold me in wonton cuddle bunny mode. We both peer out at the lone old style sailing ship in the marina. "I saw it was going to the landfill last year. And needed to be saved. My father and I would work on restoration projects growing up." He smiled into my neck easygoing while telling me about the ship. And my hand somehow finds its way back into his locks. Once invited I wanted to see if I could again. My fingertips snaked its way behind his neck, my nails moving softly there. The smile against the back of my neck got wider. We fell into each other so naturally even I was surprised. As if we were both thirsty for a touch that wasn't filled with so much angst. "Bought it last year around September."
"Last year." My mind did the math while I asked him the question. If he got this last year, why didn't he work on it then? "Why last year?" I asked.
"Because of my dad" He gathered his thoughts. "My dad was in the navy and we would work on projects before his retirement. During his retirement he rebuilt ships..." A long pause for him before he went on as if he was working the words around his head. Shuffling them so they made sense, and he pulled me in closer to him. Noah held me tight as if I was going to run away. But I never ran away from him once. He walked in on me and Zoey talking. And I would not take that contract for next year. I broke it off, yes, but we could have made a new arrangement. He left me before we could even figure out if it was going to be casual sex, a relationship, or the end. Noah was on his sailing ship and gone. I couldn't even go after him when my kids were being picked up by their dad. He broke both of our hearts with that. It was a mistake not to come to him first, but it was his mistake to not even talk to me. The pain of it, it was as if he didn't think he was worth it. That I would simply throw him away in an instant without looking back. Or maybe he didn't think I was worth it. Doubt coiled inside me, such a treacherous fucking emotion. Finally, Noah went on after he figured out his words.
"I thought maybe... We could fix the boat together with the kids, like I did with my father." My heart was struck so dead center it was heartbreaking. But we broke up. The kids at most wave at him in passing now. He used to babysit them sometimes. He hung out, and they loved Mr. Noah. The kids still love him. When they would come home from school he'd come in from working to get apples and hear them talk about their day. When Little Man's cape was taken by his dad, I found him on the boat. Wearing Noah's flannel shirt as a cape that dragged on the floor behind him it was so big. He had a huge grin on his face, a wood hammer in hand pounding on the boards of the boat with his sister. Building the boat I was sitting on right now. Little Man and Space Girl would have got a kick out of restoring the boat in the marina. But instead we broke up and Noah dislikes fast change. He was crushed just as much as me.
I should have words to fill in the space right now but all I had was sadness. What do you say to that kind of adorable hope?
My body didn't move in his frozen arms. The words echo inside my mind. We really fucked this thing up. Not only for the two of us. The white sail ship in the distance bobbed with the waves, an accusatory reminder of what could have been. "The kids would have loved that. Repairing something old and bringing it back. It's almost romantic in its own way." I said to Noah. As we sat together, I contemplated an old 1800s sailing ship that was an explorer. Getting over our mistakes my regret took time but observing that beautiful old ship, I had to let it go. Moving forward with Noah was all I wanted at this point. Bit by bit my frozen body thawed. It was hard not to be soft and pliant in Noah's arms.
"Why an explorer?" I asked with a sigh on my lips. The relaxation that I'd be craving was on the horizon with him and we'd not even sailed away from the coastline. It was a promise I was sinking into with every beat of his heart against the back of my head. An aroma of Humboldt's pine trees mixing with the sharp salty ocean air was so on brand Noah it was a double up on the scent.
"It is a ship that has seen the world. The New Star has a unique port name combination and there will only ever be one. That is one of the best parts about sailing ships." I turn my head into his broad chest. Listening to a man who rarely talks about boats had me smiling. I couldn't keep my hand in his hair anymore as sleep tugged at me.
"I have always liked explorer ships because they are filled with so much hope for the unknown." What he said reminded me of a sentiment that Sim might have. The space girl is always hunting for one more piece of information. One more sneak peek of the stars as if the second she looked away the whole thing was going to change on her. And maybe for her it does. The way she goes over each quadrant for a star she gets to name. That single mention from a tv show about space she saw. It spurns her inner wander that will probably last her whole life even if she never gets to name that star. The fun of it is enough. An epic adventure as romantic as Star Trek or Star Wars. The hope of the true explorer.
The ship really was romantic.
He carried me into the boat's cabin. I didn't even know I was tired, but I was. It wasn't on purpose that I stayed up half the night thinking about this trip with him. But I know what I did, I have kids. I know the signs of childishly waiting up for the field trip. Too right about the internal assessment than I ever would verbally admit to.
I rub my nose against his chest hair and thoroughly tickle in half sleepy enjoyment.
"I want to help you with the ship." So tired speaking into his chest. I guess it would be a lot like men who talked into my boobs. But I couldn't help myself, an exhausted giggled snuck out. I was so fucking comfortable. Even though Noah has done it before I'm still unaccustomed to a person carrying me anywhere. I'm a shapely woman and enjoy the way a good pair of jeans fit my ass. But the reality is that doesn't always go with being carted around. Which is crazy because Noah lifts weights he could lift about two and half of me in a squat. I know for a fact because Jo-Lee randomly visited my old house four times in all the years we lived there. But Jo-Lee was at Noah and Zoey's house once every two weeks watching the workout with me. I would not be super self-conscious about being lifted around but still it felt different. Good difference. Noah didn't answer me about helping him.
"You didn't want me to help you?" See that damn doubt again insidious in how it creeps up on me sometimes.
"I want you to help on The New Star. Go to sleep." My eyes were already closed and sleep for me was one breath away.
Noah stayed with me whispering to me about the explorers who own the sailing ship. The adventures of science and explorations to uncharted islands. Recording and drawing detailed notes of the species on the islands. An explorer filled with so much wonder. He was the type that was unlike so many others explorers worthy of the bygone age they were born into.
For a man who so rarely spoke he has a habit of making the world so damn beautiful when he does.
A/n: We are slowly Approching the end of book. This was pretty much only possible because Izzy help me with editing which gave me more writing time. It allowed me to push up two other projects. At the same time wrote Noah with out a lot of the purple I have grown to write things in.
I baked dark chocolatechip cookies. When I roll out with the sweets yall know what that means!
It has word count it's going to take a bit to edit. I hope to get it to yall on time.
I'm sorry about the lower amount of editing on the earlier stuff. All that angry sex and other stuff. I was crying every 2 or 3 chapters. That's hard to edit when you are live writing. I have almost 0 chapters ahead.
Again, as always yall are so damn dear to me. Thank you so much for your support, for sharing my book to others. For ADDING ME TO LIST !!! omg I'm starting to show up on a few BWWM list shocking. For leaving comments here. For also leaving comments on other peoples comments cos yall seem to like each other!!! For being wonderful people to star my work at like 1am in the middle of the night. LMAooo insta. For being here with me on this journy thank you thank you.
Also, for those of you who went and read The Tour and gave me feedback thank you.
-OP