I resisted this trope for so long, guys. So long.
Spider's earliest memory was of May - his aunt, apparently - betraying him. He had powers. Apparently that was unusual, and she had told others about him. Hydra had saved him.
That's what Agent B said. And Agent B was the one who brought him food, who released him from the machines, who told him things about before Spider could remember and kept him up to date with the occurrences of the dangerous outside world. Agent B was the one who let him keep track of time and told him it had been seven years since he'd been rescued after his Aunt attempted to sell him to the highest bidder, and that he was now fourteen.
"You're a man, now," Agent B had told him gently. "You're ready for your first mission. You've trained enough."
Spider perked up at the mention of a mission. Hydra were the good guys in a sea of evil, and their agents were the heroes sent out to cure the world of corruption and villainy. That meant it was an honour for Spider to be chosen to crouch here in a compromised safehouse, waiting for the worst of them all - the Avengers.
Agent B believed in him. Spider had trained for years and the experiments, however much they hurt, had honed his already-extraordinary powers into the perfect weapon against the forces of darkness. He was unstoppable, and he'd been drilled in the weaknesses of all the Avengers.
"Most importantly," Agent B had told him, "don't listen to anything they say. They will try to trick you into thinking they are the good guys. Remember it is all lies."
"All lies," Spider repeated obediently. That earned him extra supper. He bet the Avengers wouldn't give him extra supper.
They were here - Iron Man and Black Widow and Captain America, the biggest villains in the world. And Spider had the honour of stopping them.
"It's a trap," Black Widow realised as she broke open the empty safe. Before the others could respond Spider was on them, his uniform concealing his face as he bore down on the villains.
Iron Man crashed backwards into a wall and Spider wanted to make a joke but Agent B had told him that was unprofessional. Instead he fought in silence and revelled in the unprofessionalism of the Avengers yelling contradicting instructions at each other. Hawkeye was outside; Spider could hear the man moving.
Captain America threw his shield and Spider caught it, spun and launched it back at the soldier in a move he'd practiced over and over in preparation for this moment. It was meant to slice right through the enemy's neck but Captain America ducked just in time and the shield slammed into Iron Man's chest, knocking him a step back with a grunt.
Black Widow came at him next and he flipped onto the ceiling to throw her off guard before dropping onto her shoulders and gripping either side of her head. He would have snapped her spine but he had to abandon his position to avoid an arrow that came through the window courtesy of Hawkeye. He wasn't afraid to give his life for the cause but he wanted to take them all with him first.
"Retreat!" Captain America yelled after recovering his shield. Spider shot webs he'd designed himself (that had earned him a much bigger room) to cover the doorway but Iron Man just blasted through a wall and Spider had to hide from the barrage of arrows Hawkeye sent to cover their cowardly escape. He hissed and wove through the attack to pursue, but a repulser shot from Iron Man got past his defences, caught him in the chest and knocked him over just long enough for the Avengers to get into a jet and make their getaway.
His first mission: failed.
"You're very lucky," Agent B told him. The agent had been much less friendly since Spider had returned, humiliated. He was lucky he was deemed worthy of speaking to at all. He was a failure. He had nobody to blame but himself, of course. He had failed despite all of the time and resources Hydra had dedicated to training him. He was lucky, of course he was. He was still alive. "You are being given a second chance."
Spider inhaled sharply. Another chance? Hydra didn't give second chances: failures were a weakness and had to be eradicated for the greater good. But the wounds that were proof of Spider's failed mission had only just healed and somehow he was being given one. This time, he would make Hydra proud. He told Agent B as much.
"Good. A group of agents need immediate backup: you leave now."
Spider wasn't even equipped with weapons before being transported to the scene of the combat. By the time he dropped to the ground in a fighting position the other agents were mostly defeated. He paid them no heed - his mission was not to rescue, but to do what they could not.
The Avengers hadn't yet noticed him when he launched himself at the Black Widow. She was the most dangerous and his first target, but she twisted expertly out of his grip and alerted the others of his presence. He barely avoided the knife she plunged into the ground, and had to move away to dodge the widow bites she fired at him. Failure. Failure. He had to stay focused. Iron Man next: he had the longest range. Already he was gaining height but Spider snagged a web onto the rising boot and was tugged into the air.
He climbed, using his momentum and unnatural instincts to dodge the blasts Iron Man rained down on him from above until his hands found the man's armour and he crawled onto the Avenger's back, searching for some flaw he could use to disable the suit. Hydra had discouraged his study of electronics, saying it wasn't relevant to his field of expertise, but he'd loved learning anyway. Finding all the armour securely attached (Spider had to hand it to the villain - he knew how to design weaponry) he resorted to sticking his flat palm to the cool surface and pulling with all his strength. The joints gave and a section of panelling came free. Spider clung on as Iron Man tried to dislodge him, and buried his fingers in wires.
"He's in my suit," Iron Man was saying from inside the helmet. "Guys, he's messing with the wiring!"
"Get down here, Stark!" the voice of Captain America was audible through a speaker inside the suit. Spider, mindless of the shocks that scorched his fingers, ripped at the wiring in the hopes that some of it was important. Unfortunately the flailing iron limbs only froze up a few metres above the ground, so Iron Man was likely not killed on impact. Immediately, Spider was forced into defence as he was surrounded by villains, all attacking him with their combined might. Weakling. He couldn't focus on any one figure long enough to do damage; instead he was forced to yield more and more ground as they advanced.
He could die here, a brave, warriors death. A meaningful sacrifice. But his death would be in vain, for no Avengers would follow him into the darkness. He had no hope of winning, so he had to flee. Coward. It was the best strategic decision. (Who taught you that? Not Hydra. Retreat is never an option). Before he'd even finished thinking, a web grenade was spewing its contents over three of the Avengers and Spider was using the ensuing chaos to get out of there, quick.
He made it several miles before pausing to assess his options. He knew he was meant to go back to Hydra and tell them what had happened. They would be at the scene to retrieve the weapons from the fallen men; they would not find Spider's body so they would know he was alive. If he returned, though, he knew Agent B would not be pleased with him. He had failed not once but twice, and that was surely unforgivable. He would be terminated, a just punishment, but not one he was ready for. He was a weapon honed to end the Avengers, and while they still lived he could not rest. Hydra wouldn't understand. Not yet. Not until he showed them his triumph. Then he would be welcomed back with open arms into the free world they would build together.
So Spider did not return to Hydra. Instead he went to New York City.
Avengers Tower was not a simple building to get into, despite the ease with which he located it. How horrific that they had defaced the skyline to construct this monument to themselves, making impossible for the scared citizens to forget their reign of terror. He had to free them; and let Hydra burn this symbol of corrupt power to the ground. It had been over a day since the short-lived battle, and Spider was tense with unspent adrenaline, but he had made it inside, crawling through their air ducts like the creature he shared a name with.
Spider observed the room through a vent, and was sickened by the sight of the villains lounging on soft chairs and discussing his failed attacks. Disgusting, that they idled while hundreds of innocents died. That they wallowed in their own ill-gotten fame while Hydra slaved away to make the world a better place. They sounded worried by him, though, which was flattering.
Soon, Spider told himself, their selfish fears would be realised. The Avengers would be gone and there would be nobody left to stand in the way of peace and prosperity for all the people of the world.
He still had no weapons, but neither did they. They were out of their costumes and relaxing, and there would be no better moment to attack.
Spider burst through the vent with a fury, prepared to smash his way through the man (Iron Man?) leaning on the counter, then end those reclining on soft seats before they could even reach their feet. Instead, he glimpsed an Iron Man suit waiting by the wall, then something bright and hot hit the side of his head and the world became blinding then was gone.
Spider was home. The white walls and locked door were familiar to him, despite the uncanny silence. There were no barked orders from the corridor outside, no distant screams, no clicking boots to signify the approach of Agent B.
He was restrained to the chair he was on - had he fallen asleep during one of his weekly medical checkups? Where were the doctors and their glittering tools?
Ah, there were the boots outside. There was the slide of the lock, the whoosh of the door opening. It wasn't Agent B in the doorframe, though. Instead the Black Widow stared him down, and Spider, still tied down, couldn't move to defend himself though he thrashed against his bonds. This was it: she would kill him. He had failed three times now, and this was his punishment.
But the villain didn't move. Instead she stared at him, expression unreadable. He gradually became aware that his facial gear had been removed. He shuddered at the thought of their hands so near to him, touching him, pulling away his mask. How was he still alive? What nefarious plan did they have for him?
Abruptly, she turned on her heel and left. Though the door was soundproofed, he could still make out the conversation between the Black Widow and an unidentified male.
"He's a child, I can't interrogate him. He looks even younger up close!"
"He might have valuable information about Hydra. We have to try."
"He's a child, Steve. A child who's been in Hydra. Hasn't he been through enough?"
"He's a child who tried to kill us, multiple times."
"Because Buck never tried that even once."
"That was different, Nat-"
"Because you knew him? Because you loved him? Well this child probably has someone out there who loves him. And even if he doesn't, so what? We're meant to be the heroes, Steve. We have to help him. If he wants to give us any information, he can, but my priority is making sure he's safe and cared for."
"He's probably been brainwashed, he can't be trusted-"
"So we un-brainwash him! Steve, I know what it's like to be a child in an institute like that, or did you forget? If there's anything I can do to stop even one child from suffering the same fate, nothing is going to stop me from trying."
"You're right, Nat. I'm sorry. Maybe we can get Bucky to try talking to him?"
"That might be a good idea."
The voices faded, and Spider sat in solitary confusion. Obviously he'd known that the villains were actual people, but he'd never expected to hear such a casual conversation between two of them. One where Black Widow, the evil, emotionless spy, would actually defend him. Where two Avengers, having a civilised conversation instead of fighting for control, had agreed to show him forgiveness and compassion. Had called themselves 'heroes'.
He knew the Avengers claimed they were heroes. Hydra had told him that. But this wasn't a declaration to the public, it was a (seemingly) heartfelt whispered argument. One in which he had heard them refer to him, an asset of Hydra, as being something to rescue, not destroy.
Hydra were the good guys. He knew that because they'd told him so.
Now the Avengers were saying that they were the good guys, and suddenly Spider didn't know who to believe. Certainly, he had a lot of questions.
The doors opened again, and a man walked in. Spider tensed instantly - every creature in Hydra that had eyes knew the face of this man. It was the prized Winter Solider: the traitor, the kill-on-sight runaway who had defected to join the Avengers.
The soldier didn't give Spider a chance to open his mouth before he started to talk.
"My name," he said, "is James Buchanan Barnes. My friends call me Bucky. I was born in 1917, to a family who loved me very much." And the man kept talking. He told his life story, from before the Avengers started their reign of terror, and about a man named Steve, and about how Hydra had found him in 1945. But instead of describing his liberation and hope for a brighter future, Barnes told Spider about days of pain, of experimentation, of inhumane tampering with his mind. Then endless years of bleak misery. Then - at last - rescue in the form of his childhood friend Steve, still somehow alive. Steve, Barnes explained, was Captain America.
Spider hissed in a breath. Barnes kept talking.
He had been confused and afraid after Hydra, but the Avengers had been patient and kind and he'd eventually recovered. He spoke of their mission, their achievements, their eternal struggle against Hydra, and he spoke of each person individually. Told Spider about Black Widow - Natasha - and her escape from the Red Room. About the Hulk - Bruce Banner - and how he'd been a doctor in areas that needed him. Hawkeye, Clint Barton, who'd campaigned for increased accessibility for the deaf. About Iron Man, Tony Stark, who had stopped manufacturing weapons and strove for more sustainable energy.
Eventually, Barnes stopped talking and looked at Spider for a while. "If you have any questions, I will do my best to answer as truthfully as possible."
Spider regarded the soldier. Running away from Hydra was bad enough, but conversing with the traitor was a different kind of rebellion. If Agent B ever found out, he'd be terminated instantly. Hydra had no reason to keep soldiers they couldn't trust.
Spider wondered if the Avengers terminated people that were no longer useful to them.
"What is Hydra's goal?" He asked eventually. His voice was rough and quiet from disuse. It was a neutral enough question: if Agent B ever found out Spider could just say he was collecting information.
"Hydra wants peace and prosperity for the people of Earth. Their version of it, anyway, and only for the people they choose. If it was in their power to do so, they would kill anyone who didn't meet their standards of perfection in order to make room for their own supporters. In their ideal world, there will be no crime, because everyone will either be too afraid or too dead to commit it. There will be no poverty for the lucky few, because the resources will be stolen from those who are not good enough. Hydra's goal is a perfect world for themselves and nobody else. It is a flawed and selfish goal."
Spider processed that silently. Barnes watched patiently, ready to answer any other questions. Spider had a feeling that if he asked to be left alone, his wish would be granted. It was an odd feeling.
"What is the purpose of the Avengers?"
"To protect those we can. We are not perfect, and we can't save everybody. But we can save some people, which is better than nothing. If the safety of the world and its people are threatened, it's our job to protect them. Whether that be from aliens, or evil robots, or Hydra. We defend those who cannot defend themselves."
Spider opened his mouth to ask another question, but footsteps sounded and the door was thrown open. Another man strode in, setting Spider immediately on edge again. He had facial hair and was wearing sunglasses indoors. He carried a flat device.
"Tony, what are you doing here?" Barnes asked the newcomer, seeming annoyed. Spider connected the name to the description the soldier had given him and realised that this was the man inside the Iron Armour.
"I found him!" Iron Man announced. "Took me a while, but I did it." He turned to look Spider in the eye. "Does the name Peter Parker ring any bells?"
Spider stared blankly at him. He'd never heard that name before... but he recognised it. Something deep within him lifted a head in interest.
"Peter Parker went missing aged 4, and the dates match up. His aunt, May Parker - his guardian at the time - was suspected of child trafficking but nothing was ever proved."
"My aunt betrayed me," Spider whispered. It was the only thing Agent B had ever told him about his life before Hydra when he'd once described his vague memories of feeling betrayal. His aunt May had betrayed him but Hydra had saved him. Or maybe May had betrayed him, and sold him to Hydra. "My aunt May."
Barnes and Iron Man exchanged a glance. "You're Peter Parker?"
"My name is Spider," Spider said, but it sounded false when he said it aloud. A codename, an object. A label for an asset.
"Okay," Iron Man said, not pushing the subject. "If you want any more information, just ask."
Another foreign concept. Knowledge was power, and power always came at a price in Hydra. Information was drip-fed as a reward to assets who trained hard and did not resist treatment. Information about a personal past was especially valuable, and rarely shared.
"I don't think he's been brainwashed. Not in the same way I was, at least," Barnes addressed Iron Man. "He's always been told that Hydra is the force for good, and been given no reason to doubt it. He's intelligent. I think maybe he's starting to understand how they twisted the truth. He wants to believe we're the good guys, but he has years of those untruths to unravel."
Spider didn't flinch, didn't blink. Gave no indication of his discomfort at how close Barnes's words came to reality. At how the soldier spoke so openly about him in front of him, as if Spider was allowed to hear these things. Like Barnes wanted him to know everything that was going on. Like he had nothing to hide.
"Wanda offered to come down. Do you think that would help?"
Barnes considered this, then nodded. Iron Man left.
"Did they experiment on you? You obviously have enhancements, but were you born with them?"
Spider stayed silent. He would give the Avengers no information until he knew which side was the good guy. Even if he already knew he couldn't kill these people.
'Wanda' arrived, and sat down beside Barnes. She introduced herself, glanced at the soldier next to her, and began talking. "I joined Hydra willingly. I did it because I was young and stupid and thought I had nothing left to lose. I did it because my family was dead and I wanted revenge and I thought there was nowhere better to tun than a terrorist organisation. I joined Hydra, and let them experiment on me, and my brother. I fought the Avengers, and I killed people, and I didn't get my revenge. I saw I had become a tool for Hydra: they would use me for their own gain, not mine. The Avengers rescued me, even after I tried to kill them. Even though I willingly joined their enemy, they forgave me and found me help and supported me after my brother died. It is never too late." With that, she stood back up and promptly left. Spider could smell the salt of her tears lingering after she was gone.
There was a ping, and Barnes took a phone out of his pocket and checked it. He tilted his head, considering, then looked at Spider again. "If I release you, are you going to try to kill us?"
Spider shook his head, surprised at the truth behind the action and further surprised when Barnes actually did release him. The man had to be insane, to show such trust for the word of someone he knew was the enemy. Nevertheless, Spider stood and subtly stretched. "Do you want to join the team for dinner? It's pizza," Barnes said.
There were many responses he could have given, like no, or you shouldn't trust me or why are you doing this or are you not scared of me or what if I'm lying or why should I trust you? But instead Spider said, "I don't know what pizza is."
Pizza was, in fact, weird. It was flat bread with a catastrophe of flavours scattered on top, but it wasn't as horrific as it should have been. Spider, uncomfortable with the entire situation, hunched in a corner and nibbled on triangles of pizza as the Avengers chatted together. He was content to simply observe the relaxed, friendly atmosphere, until he lifted another slice of pizza and someone cried out. He quickly dropped the pizza and flinched away from it. "Is it poisoned?"
There was a beat of silence, then uproarious laughter. "Sorry," the man who'd yelled said once he'd regained his breath. "I wasn't even sure you could speak, and then you-" he let out a laugh again and wiped at his eyes. "It's not poisoned. It's got pineapple on it, though."
Spider frowned. "What's wrong with pineapple?"
The table instantly burst into a debate about whether pineapple on pizza was an atrocity or delicacy. Shrinking away from it all, Spider tried the slice he'd lifted. It was neither better nor worse than the other slices he'd eaten.
"Guys, guys, we've had this fight before," the pizza man finally said. "We should introduce ourselves properly. Hi, Hydra demon child, I'm Hawkeye, but you can call me Clint."
Each of the people he was eating with introduced themselves, revealing normal faces as villains- well, Avengers. Heroes, maybe. Villains, though? Increasingly unlikely.
"And what do you want us to call you?"
"I've always been called Spider," Spider told them, then looked at the man who'd introduced himself as Tony Stark. "Iron Man said my name used to be Peter Parker."
"But what do you want to be called?" Black Widow asked softly. He weighed the options in his mind. Neither Spider nor Peter Parker felt like the name of the person he wanted to be.
"I don't know," Spider said, "but I'd like help to find out."