-Chris-
Guilt wasn't really something that I was familiar with. I was familiar with the act of cheating; but I was never familiar with guilt. I mean I cheated on my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend for like three years straight and I have never felt an ounce of guilt run through me.
"What's on your mind?"
"Nothing." I replied a little quicker than needed. She arched an eyebrow at me before shrugging and continuing to scroll down the Toys R Us website. Christmas was exactly nine days away and we were now doing the shopping.
"Chris, don't you think five gifts each is a little too much? Caelyn already has enough toys as it is. And Paris doesn't even use any of her old toys anymore. I think we should get Caelyn that human Bratz doll shit that she flips out over every time it comes on commercial."
I wasn't even listening to her right now. My mind was still stuck on two days ago. I fucked up.
[Saturday; two days ago; Miami]
This party that I was hosting with Tyga was turnt up! Not only were there bad bitches in every corner, but there were a lot of celebrities here that I wouldn't mind making some beats for.
"Yo! Look!" I looked from the drink in my hand and turned to look at Tyga who had some random ass girl on his lap. She looked familiar but I couldn't put a name to her face. I just know that I've seen her before. When I looked back at Tyga he was nodding to his left. Once I saw who was sitting there beside him I had to step closer.
"Faith? That's you?" She smiled a little before nodding. After tossing her long hair over her shoulder she motioned for me to come closer. I quickly looked at Tyga and he was too busy feeling up on the girl to notice me take a seat beside Faith.
Before I could even say anything she started. "You have a child with my cousin... that's crazy." I shrugged not really caring about anything she had to say about Lana. She was the last thing on my mind right now.
She leaned over to speak into my ear. I couldn't stop my eyes from traveling South when the dip in her dress seemed to drop lower."You did my aunt wrong... but who am I to talk?" She chuckled lightly before removing her lips from my ear; not without kissing my temple first.
I quickly downed the rest of my dark colored drink before placing the glass cup to my side. "I know what you want, Faith."
"What do I want, Chris?" She smirked a little before crossing her legs. Once again, my eyes dropped down and I licked my lips once I saw how little to the imagination her dress left.
"Just meet me in the bathroom." I didn't wait for a response when I stood up and walked over to Tyga.
"I'm out. Send my half of the check in the mail." I must of been out of it because I never asked for checks. I always wanted my money straight up.
"I got you." Was all he said before going back to tending to the mystery girl. I looked over my shoulder for a brief second and once I saw Faith stand to her feet I went down the stairs.
-
"That was... wow." She was smiling all big and shit while I laid there with my jaw clenched. The sex was great. The feeling that I now had in my heart was a little different though.
"You need to go. Get ya shit and get the fuck out." I rudely ripped the covers from off her naked body and watched as she searched around for her dress.
"Can you save your number in my phone? I would love to-"
"Get out."
XxX
"Daddy, what am I getting for Christmas?" Paris slanted her eyes at me as she waited for my response. I sighed before closing my eyes and laying back on the bed.
"Whatever you want. Make a list and I'll make sure mommy and I get everything on it for you." Her screams mixed in with her bouncing up and down the bed were getting to me. "Yo, go see what Cae and your mother doing." I yawned before pulling a pillow from Lana's side of the bed and placing it over my head. After I heard her mumble an 'okay' and the bedroom door close I knocked out.
-Alana-
"Daddy wants me to see what you guys are doing."
"What does it look like we're doing?" I asked before looking from her pink 'Daddy's Little Girl" t-shirt and back to the television set.
"Looks like you're watching Space Jam with Caelyn. Can I watch?" I nodded without removing my eyes from the television. I don't know how we all were gonna fit on Caelyn's little princess bed and not break it. After Paris got comfy on the bed beside me I turned on my side a little with a drowsy Caelyn holding onto my stomach.
"Paris... not so loud." I quietly scolded her then pointed to a knocked out Caelyn. She nodded before turning her back to me and continuing to watch the movie.
-
"I'm bored."
"What do you want to do? It's almost your bedtime so you can't go in the backyard." I checked my phone again to see that the time was '8:45 pm'. Before I could put my phone away it began ringing. The name that popped up had me screaming and jumping up and down like a four year old.
"CAMERON!!!!"
"Alana... calm down." I rolled my eyes once I heard his basic ass greeting. After his laughing fit died down he finally greeted me in the way I deserved to be greeted. "Wassup stranger?"
"I'm a stranger, Cameron? That's cute." I smirked a little after I heard him smack his lips. Paris was hugging my leg and begging to talk to him but I was being a little stingy.
"Can I say hi? Let me say hi to Cam! Please mommy? Please let me-"
"Give her the phone. Why you got her begging?" Rolling my eyes, I gave Paris the phone and then went to sit beside her on the couch.
"HI CAM! I MISS YOU!" Although I was feeling some type of way, I still managed to crack a smile. I quickly grabbed the phone from Paris' grip and then put it on speaker.
"Mommy!" I kissed my teeth before handing her back the phone. It was still on speaker so I tucked my feet under me and listened as Cameron's deep voice emitted through our end.
"You being good, Paris?"
"Of course I am!" She made sure to look over at me and blew me a kiss before looking back down at the phone.
"You better be, cause I got you and your sister's Christmas gifts sitting right here. I would hate to have to send yours back to the store if-"
"IM BEING GOOD CAM! Don't send it back!" I fell back onto the couch laughing at how desperate she sounded.
"Alright, alright, I'm mailing it to you guys tomorrow. " He got out through a laugh before speaking again. "Put your mommy back on the phone. I love you."
"Love you too, Laker." She giggled into the phone before handing it to me. I waited until she disappeared up the stairs before taking the phone off speaker and placing it to my ear.
"Cameron."
"Alana." I smiled a little before tucking a loose strand of hair behind my hair.
"How you doing, Cam?" He sighed before smacking his lips. I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I waited.
"I'm doing good, Alana. Been doing good for three years now." I nodded, a feeling of certainty settling into me. He better be doing good or I wouldn't hesitate flying down there to help him.
"How's your girl?"
"She's fine. How you and your family though?"
"We're all fine, thanks for asking. When are you guys playing another game down here though? Paris and I miss you."
"We playing the Nets next month. January fifteenth I believe." I made a mental note to myself as I looked over at the Christmas tree.
"What do you want for Christmas, Cam? Like... what am I supposed to get someone that already has it all. The money, the cars, the clothes, the-"
"I don't got no hoes. Fuck up before you start a rumor." I laughed out loud before looking over at the tree once more.
"Forreal though. What should I get you?"
"You don't have to get me shit, Lana. Just hit me up more. That's all I want." I rolled my eyes at how corny he was but still smiled. "I'm sending y'all gifts out tomorrow though. Buying Paris and Caelyn's stuff was easy... but when it came down to you it was-"
"Oh! So you can get me something but I can't get-"
"Yep. Like I was saying, when it came to getting you something I was stuck. I had Shakira help me though so I think you will like it."
"Whatever."
"Fix your voice. I gotta go though... practice calls."
"Ugh. We just got on the phone." I whined while looking down on my bare legs. It was warm in the house but somehow I had goosebumps on my legs.
"That's why you need to call me more. I miss you."
"I miss you too, Laker." He laughed for a minute before sighing.
"Ima call you tomorrow after I send out the gifts. I love you and I want to see you next month."
"Okay! And you will. Love you too. Bye Cam."
XxX
[Two days later]
"What do seven year old girls like?" I mumbled lowly to myself as I wandered down the electronics aisle at Best Buy. "Oh my goodness. What do little girls like?"
"How old is she?" I looked up from the 'Sales' paper in the cart once I heard a soft voice. Once I looked up I came face to face with this beautiful girl. She was about five nine with the most beautiful golden skin I have ever seen in my life. Despite me having to look up to her like she was a damn basketball player, I would rate her a nine.
"Uh, she's seven." I quickly folded up the paper and then stuffed it in my bag as I held steady eye contact with her. Because she was so gorgeous, her basic 'Juicy Couture' sweatsuit with Uggs was shitting on my dolled up jeans and tall boots ensemble.
"Okay, my daughter is six and she's turning seven on the twenty-fourth," she paused to flash a pearly white smile "So I'm getting her the new colored iPod. You know the one with Siri?" I nodded with a smile as I let the idea sink into my head.
"Paris would love that... she's on the iPad everyday. Never giving no one a chance when it's my shit." I didn't notice that I was frowning until she mocked me. I joined her in a laugh before composing myself. She looked so breath taking when she laughed, while I probably looked like a horse compared to her.
"So let's go pick up one for Paris and one for my daughter, Gabriel."
"Aww, that's a cute name." I said truthfully as I began pushing my cart. She had a cart that she could carry in her hand. I shook my head because of how dumb I was about to look with only a iPod in this big ass cart. I might as well turn today into a shopping day then.
XxX
"Chris' car is here, so the girls are home." I looked over my shoulder and smiled at Gabriel before looking at Jasmine.
"Open the door, girl. I'm freezing." I laughed to myself after she said that one.
"That's what you get for trying to be cute with that jeans jacket." I shook my head at her as I let her and Gabriel enter first.
"You told me that my outfit was nice though..." She ended there then flipped her blonde hair. After I unzipped my boots I helped Gabriel out of her jacket.
"Thank you." She gave me a big smile before turning back to her mom. "Mommy. Hold me." I had to cover my mouth at how cute and identical they looked. After kissing Gabriel's cheek, Jasmine followed me into the living room.
"Do you guys want something to drink or eat? We have-"
"It's fine. You saw me pick up that box of Oreos in Target right?" I nodded then she pulled Gabriel closer to her on her lap before continuing "Fatty right here ate half a pack already." She tickled Gabriel's sides before looking back at me. I smiled at how soft and cute Gabriel's giggles were.
"How are-"
"Lana, you down here talking to yourself? Bum ass." Chris' voice could be heard before his body come into sight.
"Chris, shut up."
"Whoa... who are these people?" He slowly walked into the room and then kissed my cheek before taking a seat beside me on the couch.
"These people are Jasmine and her daughter Gabriel." I introduced before turning back to Jasmine. "This is Chris." I playfully groaned, causing her to laugh.
"Hi Chris." She smiled softly at him before tending to a squirming Gabriel.
"Where are the girls? The house is too quiet."
"They upstairs. Cae sleeping and Paris on the iPad." He looked away from me after that and looked over to the opposite couch that our guests were occupying.
"Uh, it's Jasmine, right?" She nodded once before looking at me and smiling. "I don't mean to sound forward or anything but you're really gorgeous. You model or something?"
"I do, actually." She blushed a bit before breaking eye contact from Chris. He was still smiling at her and I had to grab his hand to make him look at me.
"What-"
"There are bags in the trunk. Can you go get them please?" I didn't even wait for his response when I went to sit beside Jasmine on the couch. Gabriel quickly jumped in my lap and smiled up at me before sticking her tongue out at Jasmine.
"It's like that, Gabby? Alright. Don't ask for none of the Oreos in-"
"No mommy! I love you!" She quickly crawled back over to her mothers lap and kissed her face three times before hugging her. I pouted because of how cute they were.
Reminded me of Caelyn and myself.
-
"Paris, can you go get the iPad for me?" Because Chris was the one who asked, she wasted no time bringing her ass up the stairs.
"Whoa. Someone has a fan." Jasmine and Gabriel were still here. We were all seated at the dinner table now.
"I mean... I can't help it if the ladies love me."
"Ew." I blurted out after he popped his imaginary collar. Jasmine burst out laughing, causing Gabriel to drop her fork and laugh too. I had to join in after that because Gabriel didn't even know the joke. She was cute though.
"Always a hater out of the bunch." He playfully mugged me before mushing my head with his greasy ass hand.
"Not a hater." I mumbled as I stuffed my face with mashed potatoes. Paris came strolling into the kitchen with the iPad in her possession. She handed it to Chris and he kissed her forehead before thanking her. Jasmine "aww'd" at the sight while I only rolled my eyes.
He was always doing the most.
"Alright, Jasmine look. These are the Jordans that I'm about to order. They ain't drop yet but because I got the hookup; I'm bout to get them. In like... four days."
"They sick. Let me see the green." I had to roll my eyes at how much attention she was giving him. No one gave a fuck about Chris and his ugly ass Jordans.
"Mommy."
"Hm?" I looked from my chicken and over to Caelyn after humming my response.
"Gabby and I need more juice." She smiled sweetly at me before taking Gabriel's empty cup from her and then hanging me hers along with Gabriel's.
Passing around the table, I had to shake my head at how hype Chris was being. Nigga was talking about these shoes like they were the last pair of sneakers on the Earth. And Jasmine was actually listening to him talk her ear off.
I would never.
-
"Why were you talking to that Cameron guy two days ago?"
"Huh?"
"Why were you-"
"I heard you, Chris. I just don't understand why you're asking me this question." I locked my phone then placed it underneath my pillow before turning on my side to look at him.
"I'm asking because Paris was beaming and grinning up a storm when she told me she talked to him. Why he sending y'all gifts like y'all need it."
"Chris, please shut up." Before he could get another word in I reached over him and hit the lights. He grabbed my body and then placed me on top of him. After wrapping his arms around my waist he started again.
"What he even sending y'all?"
"Ugh. Chris shut the fuck-"
"I ain't gonna shut the fuck up so answer me." I actually flinched at how loud his voice got. Sighing, I laid my head on his chest then closed my eyes.
"He's sending us gifts, Chris. People send other people gifts around the holidays."
"Stop talking to me like I'm dumb. I know that people get gifts on Christmas; I just wanna know why he feel like he in the position to send my wife and my kids-"
"Oh my gosh. Here you go with the jealousy." He tightened his hold on me before smacking his lips.
"Nobody even jealous so-"
"So drop it. Cameron's my friend and he's Paris' godfather. If he wants to send Paris and Cae AND I gifts for Christmas then he can do that."
"I wish he would." He grumbled before roughly pushing my body off his. I slapped his bare chest before moving closer to the edge of the bed.
It's like every night I go to bed in a pissed off mood.