-Chris-
[One week later]
It was seven twenty-six when Lana came strolling through the house with shopping bags in her hand. She was all smiles as she dropped her bags by the living room entrance then ran over to the couch to give Caelyn a hug. Paris was sitting to the left of me and giving the iPad her undivided attention as I gave Lana mine. I couldn't help but shake my head at the sight of her and Caelyn all hugged up and giddy. I'm pretty sure she has another daughter sitting right here next to me, but she hasn't even addressed her yet. Then she has the nerve to say that I favor one kid over the other.
"Hi, Paris. Did you finish your homework?" She shrugged out of her jacket as she kept her eyes on Paris. Paris only nodded one time before continuing to play Angry Birds. I kept my eyes on Lana and couldn't help but smirk as I looked at the jeans and tee ensemble she decided to wear to work today. It wasn't only her outfit that had me rubbing my lips back and forth together in a straight line. It was mostly her hair.
Like everybody and their grandma knows that Lana is a catch. But to add blonde hair on top of all of it? It was like adding whipped cream to a stack of warm and fluffy, butter milk pancakes- deadly.
"Okay, I'm going to take a shower. I'll be down for you in a minute, okay?" I already knew that she wasn't talking to me. One, because Caelyn responded with a 'yes, mommy' before I could even open my mouth to speak; and two because since Lana stepped foot into this house almost seven minutes ago she hasn't made eye contact with me. Right as she was about to turn on her heels to head out the living room I coughed.
She paused for a split second before looking over her shoulder at me. I guess she was waiting for me to say something because she was standing there glaring at me. What did she want me to say though? Sorry? I did. Last week, to be exact.
"Can I talk to you upstairs?" I stood to my feet then strategically walked around her to exit the living room. I didn't want to accidentally bump her or some shit and she blows up on me for feeling up on her. Can yall believe I ain't get any play in seven days? Seven WHOLE days?
"Talk."
"Damn. I can't even get a hey, baby? You foul, Lana." I tried to be slick and kiss her cheek but she quickly backed away from me and walked into the bathroom. After the door slammed I let out a deep breath and fell back onto the bed. How she gonna agree to talk to me, and then when I try to talk she walks out?
That's the shit I don't like nor get.
x
When she finally came out the bathroom she was dressed in a long t-shirt and was putting her hair up in a ponytail. I sighed out loud because she really got dressed in the bathroom like I haven't seen her body before. We're fucking married for crying out loud.
"Reason why you're breathing so damn hard? You got asthma?" I rolled my eyes but still shook my head as I looked over at her standing in front of the dresser. For the first time in what felt like forever, our eyes met. I must of been trying to keep steady eye contact for ten seconds when she rolled her eyes at me and then walked out the room. Hitting the lights on me as well as slamming the door.
Now if I was to start slamming doors around this bitch I would be the bad guy, right?
Women.
x
"We can either drive to the mall and shop until we drop or... we can stay home and shop until my finger gets tired from clicking the mouse all day. Your choice. Don't let me down." She playfully glared at Caelyn before revealing a beautiful smile and pulling her into her lap.
"I want-"
"Crazy how you making all these plans with Cae. I ain't never seen you do none of this with, P. My bad Cae. You can continue now." I brushed my thumb across Caelyn's fat cheek to get her to smile at me. Even though I apologized for cutting her off it's as if apologies weren't enough to show her that you were truly sorry. Last week I literally had to take her down into Brooklyn to the Barclay's Center just so that she would talk to me. They were showing 'Disney On Ice' that whole week and I just knew that Caelyn would love it. She ended up hugging me and kissing all over my face as soon as the Minnie Mouse character came out on the stadium.
I won back her love and ever since then we been cool.
"Anyways, Caelyn, what were you saying-"
"Naw, answer me. Why I never see you do none of this girly planning weekend stuff with Paris? Wassup with that?" She situated her body on the couch so that she was sitting beside me now and Caelyn was to the left of her. "Why are you talking to me? I told you to leave me alone." She spoke through gritted teeth, making her words come out one hundred times slower as well as colder.
"How I'm supposed to leave my wife alone? We live in the same house." I licked my lips as I watched her jaw line flex. I don't even know why she was getting mad. I just wanted to talk to my wife.
"I don't even know how much longer we're going to be married so you can-" she had to cut her bullshit sentence short because of how quick I pulled her up by her arm and dragged her out of the living room.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG-"
"No! What the fuck is wrong with you?! I APOLOGIZED! I was drunk, and you know that! Why you still treating me like this? I don't like it, Lana. You know I don't like it and you still behaving like you don't got no damn sense."
"Get the fuck off me. That's the first thing you need to do." She peeled my fingers from around her wrist and took a big step back from me. It's not like I was about to hit her so I don't see why she was putting a bigger distance between us. "In case you haven't noticed, Chris, I don't give a fuck about that fake ass apology. Telling me you're sorry and then kissing my cheek is not going to fix this shaky ass marriage. And-"
"How the fuck is our marriage shaky, though?" I shook my head in disbelief before looking over my shoulder and into the living room. I made eye contact with Cae and I smiled sweetly at her so that she could be reassured that everything was fine. I didn't like fighting or arguing in front of any of the kids... It's just when it comes to Lana it's like all of my likes and wants go out the window.
She's always bringing out the worst in me.
"Hello? Are you gonna answer me? How is our-"
"It's been shaky, Chris! Like... we've only been married for a year now but shit feels so much longer. The shit you do got me looking at you like what the fuck? Do you even know much power your words hold? You said it to my face, Chris. My fucking face. I don't care if you were drunk or not. Drunken words are sober thoughts, dumb nigga." This time my fists tightened on their own as I looked down at her. I was sending her back the same death glare that she was sending me and I doubt either of us was about to back down.
"Those weren't my thoughts though! I was drunk! No one means the shit they say when they're drunk, baby. Would you really think that I would ask myself why did I marry you?" I reached for her folded arms but she only took another big step back from me, this time coming to a halt when she bumped into the staircase.
"I actually do think that you would ask yourself that. I mean, you married my mom and then divorced her like it was nothing so-"
"I DIVORCED HER TO BE WITH YOU!" This time I exploded and couldn't refrain myself from getting in her face and pulling her light body towards me. "I divorced Alison to be with you. Did you forget? Or are you that fucking spiteful that you just try to throw every fucking thing I do in my face." My hold on her shirt got tighter and tighter with each second that she let past.
"Get off me. You said what you meant and you meant what you said so-"
"You know what? Fuck it. I'm done." I finally released the tight grip I had on her shirt and walked into the living room. Caelyn looked traumatized as fuck but I couldn't even stop my hasty searching to comfort her. I had to get the fuck out of here and away from Lana before I really said some shit that would have her crying.
"What do you mean you're done? Chris!" I rolled my eyes as she continued to call my name. I was just trying to locate the keys to my car so that I could dip. I needed to get to the studio. Either release some stress by working all night or getting high all night.
Maybe even both.
"Chris! I'm talking to you, what the fuck do you mean by you're done?!" This time she took it to the extreme and threw something at the back of my head. Whatever the fuck it was hurt like a bitch and I'm pretty sure it made a dent. As I turned around with my hand to the back of my head I looked down to the floor to see none other than my car keys.
"You really just threw this shit at my head, Lana? That's your word?" She shrugged before calling Caelyn over to her. I only nodded as I watched Caelyn scurry over to her from her comforting position on the couch.
"Don't come back here tonight. Sleep in that dirty ass studio that I just know you're going to." She spat as I walked past her and Caelyn. "You heard me? Don't come back here tonight!"
I licked my lips and only kept my eyes on the front door that was only a few more feet away from me. I wasn't planning on coming back here tonight. It's not like I was about to get some anyways.
"If I was to fuck a bitch tonight would you feel a way? I mean you shouldn't, since our marriage is shaky and all."
"GET OUT!"
x
It's crazy how people would do anything for love. I'm talking about doing any damn thing for love, true love. Never in a million years would I think that the one who I would be in love with and married to would also be the same little bitch that knows how to push my buttons and piss me the fuck off.
I love Lana to death... at least I think I do; so don't take me calling her a little bitch to the head. That's just the best term that I could use to describe her right now. She's bitchin' over what? Exactly.
This is why niggas can't stay faithful in a marriage. It's not because they want something new and want to get their dick wet by a new pussy every night. Naw, it's because the woman in the relationship has trust issues as well as mental fucking issues. They can't ever be happy or grateful. I created two beautiful ass kids with Lana. Not one, but two. Both of my girls are angels...
I gave her a big ass house to live in. Not no damn condo or a damn private house. OUR OWN BIG ASS MANSION LOOKING HOUSE. I asked for her hand in marriage, I make sure that whatever she and the girls want they get. I do everything to make her happy. Every single thing that I could think of. I don't even have to do it though! There are niggas out there who are married and still be in the clubs every night with some next bitch on their lap. They don't give a fuck; all they got to do is hide their ring and it's like they're a whole new person.
I have seen this shit happen before, with my own two eyes. Now, I could be a player; Lana KNOWS that I could dog her out and fuck with like three other bitches on the side. I can do that shit and give no fucks. I did it before right?
Am I doing it now though?
What am I doing that is so wrong that is causing her to question our marriage? When someone comes up with the answer can yall please wake me? Cause this whole shit is just fucking with my emotions. All I need is one more drink and I will be in the bathroom with some bitch sucking me off.
The choice is up to Lana. Throw all this shaky marriage bullshit out the window and talk to me or let me be the unfaithful nigga she's making me out to be. I got not problem fucking two or three bitches tonight; at the same damn time too.
x
[Saturday]
I haven't seen the girls in two days. It's no one's fault but Alana's though. I went by the house yesterday to get my suitcases because my flight was at noon, the same day. I go to the house and guess who's there?
Me, myself, and I. No Beyonce.
Lana even made sure to swerve every single one of my calls. I wasn't even about to play the bitch nigga role and leave a message on her voice mail either so I just said fuck it. I packed my shit and took a cab to the airport. She doesn't even know that I'm in Miami right now. Sitting out on the balcony on the SAME chair that we... yeah. That chair.
"You have reached the voice mail box of: Alana Lozada-Brown. Leave a sweet message, babies!
I rolled my eyes before ending the call and throwing my phone down onto the table. A nigga was not only missing her, but missing his kids too. Yes, both my kids. Fuck what Alana been telling yall; I love Caelyn as much as I love Paris. No more or less. It's equal.
My comfort zone came to a halt when my phone started vibrating loudly against the table. It was as if I became an octopus in the span of two minutes because my hand stretched across the table and grabbed the phone before it could even get to vibrate for a third time.
"Hello?"
"NIGGA! YOU TOUCHED DOWN?!" I kissed my teeth loudly and sighed even deeper. This nigga.
"Yeah... been here since yesterday. Wassup?" I didn't even want to be here anymore. Fuck hosting this party with him. I didn't want the money, I just wanted to be home with my family.