Sorry for the long wait, but got absorbed by the other story I write, "Fire and Ice".
So here comes ch 2 and I hope you'll like it: let me know and please, pretty pretty please, vote comment and whatever you feel like! Thank you to read it!!
It's dedicated to fronno who game me the first vote here: thank you!
Pic of Alice on the right --> Nikki Reed
Hopefully I'll update more today!
Cheers
-EMMETT POV-
“That idiot” I hissed at myself, while watching my reflection in the mirror, which reflected back a red and painfully bruised cheek. “If I see him again, I’ll make sure to return the favour.”
I knew well I wouldn’t do it, what was the sense of taking it against a brat of what, 17 or 18 years? It was pointless and a major pain in the neck, nothing for me. And the less I got involved with people, the better. That punk had the typical troublemaker look and I didn’t like the way he smirked and checked me out. It sort of gave me creeps and his eyes were too restless and slinky.
I washed my face with chilly water and then applied a balm, hoping to minimize the bruise. In school they are peculiar about marks and bruises on teacher faces and it’s pointless to explain them you got it while fucking playing some sport. Argh, what a pain in the ass. I shook my head in annoyance and marched in the living room.
My apartment was ok, nothing too fancy or too strange, a pretty normal apartment in the Docklands area of Dublin, where apartments were new and so didn’t have that stinky and old carpet on the floor or ridiculous dusty covered couches and curtains. I had to furnish it myself, what a pain, but I did it and I chose all simple pieces of furniture, easy to keep and to clean. Well, I got someone to help me with the cleaning, because I was hopeless there and given my lazy ass attitude I would live in a constant mess. I had the lady come over when I was in school, to avoid to meet her and have some boring and useless conversation on the weather and a cup of tea.
Oh my God, tea. Why they drank so much tea?
I was a coffee person, black long burning coffee.
Weren’t the Brits supposed to drink gallons of tea? Man, here they drank more tea than in England and for sure more beer. Fuck...way more than gallons of beer.
Well, they had a great beer, that was true. One night I was in a particular bad mood, let’s say worse and gloomier than usual, a sort of whiney and pitiful bad mood. Whatever, I just ran down into town and closed myself in a pub and got so blasted with just beer, and probably a couple of rounds of vodka before, that I don’t even remember how I managed to pay everything and got back home. I cursed myself the following day, because I spent the entire day in bed sick and throwing up in a plastic bag right there, too destroyed to walk to the bathroom. I got headaches for a couple of days after that.
Drunk for beer, not anymore. That was certain 150%.
I wondered what people thought of me when saw me wobbling like a old dude. Must had been some pathetic view.
Whatever.
I slumped on the couch, no alcohols anywhere near a mile, and turned on the DVD player. Yesterday I recorded a game between the Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers. I used to play for one of them, then I moved to another team and got that stellar contract and decided to fuck up everything.
Let’s forget that for now, shall we?
While I watched the game something inside me began to stir and get loose and restless. I tried to ignore it, concentrating on the playing, shoots, dunks, three points and fantastic dribbling.
My hands got sweaty and itchy, it was like being electrocuted. Insane. I so wanted to have a ball now in my hands. That thing, that sort of devious snake began to crawl in my guts, creeping up and wrapped and curled around me, hissing in my ear, lapping my neck. I shivered and shuddered bad. Argh.
I was about to lose it, I knew it.
I sank deeper into the couch, gripping the sides with an iron grasp, as if from that it depended my life. And it was true, from that it depended my pathetic and lame life.
Pathetic and lame.
Destroyed and fucked.
Useless and worthless.
Those words began to chant and dance in my mind, at a dangerous speed, my head now spinning and me panting. The dance more and more, shouting now and mocking me.
So what I had to treasure or defend? Absolutely nothing.
I watched at the game and listened to its hissing, whispers in my ears, to give in to it, to simply surrender and stop that weak fight, because who was I gonna kid? I was about to lose it and really bad.
I grinded my teeth and clenched my jaws, I was about to crumble in shitty pieces. Sweat rolled down me, my heart got faster and louder, my breath heavier and now longer to try to calm myself. I gulped, feeling my throat dry and soar. I growled and cursed with all the voice I got in me. I turned and punched the wall and fuck, that wasn’t smart at all. My bones ached madly, but at least I got read of that sneaky hiss in ear, which retreat in a blink and slapped me with its slimy tail. My hand was painfully throbbing. I sighed, ignoring that, and grabbed my head in my hands, between my legs.
What a pathetic excuse of a man I was.
I almost gave in to that.
I stopped and turned off the DVD player and threw the remote control somewhere in the room. I grabbed a jacket and darted out of that place, before I let myself surrender for real.
I looked at the sky, now grey, swollen and looming, the sun already far gone. I didn’t give a damn about that. The wind tried to shove me aside, to let itself pass. I breathed in that storming air and laughed as I was possessed.
AHHHH.
I began to ran and after few minutes the rain poured down with incredible violence and force, drenching me to the bones, but I didn’t care. My feet went on and my legs followed in a trance and so did I, on and on and on. I ran around the docklands and beside the Liffey River, up and down, feeling insane and free while the rain soaked me completely and the wind howled in my ears. I ran and let out insane laughs and grunts and yells. Lucky me that nobody here gave a damn about that, no one probably even noticed I was a bit off, they didn’t see anything strange in someone running under the rain. They were used to it, to weirdness and bloody rain. And for the first time I was thankful I lived here and shouted my thanks for the city at the wind. I laughed harder.
My knee will probably punish me tomorrow. Without the maybe. But right now, I didn’t give a rat ass about that. I needed to run and let out everything. And this was amazing.
When I got home I had to undress at the entrance door, if didn’t want to leave a pool and a stream in the house. I kicked away my sneakers and peeled my clothes off, leaving me in only black boxers, not very smart I might add, because the door had been left open and my neighbour came out right at that moment. She casted me a curios and hungry look, argh, I munched out a “Good afternoon” trying to act casual and cool and slammed the door close behind me.
I was so soaked that I squished just at breathing. My shoes were gone for good now. I shoved them in the garbage, stuffed the jumper, t-shirt and trousers in the washing machine and jumped in the shower, letting hot water run down my now cold and soar body.
But for the first time in years I felt lighter.
I stood there for long minutes, letting the water brush everything down and away, closing my eyes and moaning in relaxing pleasure. Then I turned it off, dried up with a towel and made a mug of coffee. My favourite Colombian blend.
Later at night I did Skype with Alice, letting out from our conversation the fact I almost lost it today. Just hearing her voice and seeing her smiling eyes made me feel better and proud for my struggle.
I was just afraid that some other time I might struggle in vain.
She told me about her day, what she did in college, her classes, if she liked them or not, what her friends blabbed about, new boyfriends and that sort of gossips she knew I couldn’t care less, but she knew it would in some way let my mind rest and wonder off.
Alice was younger than me, she was almost 26, but because of helping me and some other issues she went through, she dropped college. Now she has restarted and she about to finish her master in visual arts. Pointless to say our parents didn’t approve of that and gave her a hard time, but somehow they let it go. They blamed me for her college choice, obviously. I had always had a bad influence on her, that’s what they used to say now, not anymore that I was the exemplar older son and brother. They would blame me for every single shitty insignificant particular that didn’t go according their ways and snobbish plans.
I hoped my brother wasn’t giving her as well a hard time, but any time I asked her she says it’s ok and Jamie was still the usual Jamie with her, maybe a bit more jerk than before, but not that jerk. I wonder what it meant for her being a bit more jerk than before. I sighed.
It wasn’t easy sometimes to face the fact that your entire family but your sister hated you and was ashamed of you and forgot all the past and good about you. It wasn’t a piece of cake to deal with and sometimes it fucking hurt bad, not so nice to swallow down. Your family should care for you, should help you out and support you no matter what, forgive you for your errors, when you recognized them and how bad you fucked up.
But that wasn’t the case with me.
Nope.
I wished her a nice day and she wished me good night, it was already really late and my eyes were heavy. I had to sleep if tomorrow I didn’t want to hang around like my usual dull and pathetic self.
“Alice sweety, got to go or tomorrow I’ll be sleeping while standing.” I told her, looking in the webcam.
“You’re right bro, let you go and talk soon this week, k?” She loomed closer, eyeing me with a meaningful look and then stuck out her pinkie.
“Promise.” I did the same, to mimic the promise act. She smiled at me and blew me a kiss.
I turned off everything and dragged myself to my bed, now really beat and tired. I tossed around a while, before finding the right position, my knee now slightly stinging. A pair of liquid greenish blue eyes blazed in my head, not remembering where I saw them. Finally I felt my eyelids heavy and my mind slowly drifting away.