** Harry's POV **
I know I have fucked up royally.
Every night I spend in our new bed alone reminds me of just how much I fucked this whole thing up.
It blew up in my face and I freaked out, it became too much to quick and I couldnt handle it.
The guilt, the pain of knowing I hurt her, the anger towards Jinx who I cant even face right now.
I feel like he won, he took her from me even though shes still here. We both got a dose of reality with this and it spooked me how much I care about losing her. How much danger she is in for being associated with me, she will always be my weakness and I cant have that.
Not in this life. It would kill me if something happened to her and no doubt my enemies would make it there mission to get to her, knowing they ultimately ruin me in the process.
"Brother" Hunter sat beside me, three weeks have passed with little to no contact between Pippa and I.
I have tried, but she has no interest and I can see the pain in her eyes when she glances at me. She is slipping away, I can feel it and I have to let it happen.
I just grunted at Hunter and he slapped my back and signalled to our prospect behind the bar to get us another round.
"Have you thought about what I said to you? Time keeps ticking" Hunter nudged me and referred back to the brief conversation he had with Pippa where she said I should speak to her, tell her I was scared.
But the woman wont fucking look at me, never mind speak to me!
I am fucking scared, more scared for what this all means for her if she gets involved with me. What it means to all our enemies out there that will open season on her ass. The guilt I feel from what has already happened, how can it ever work?
It cant. Its as simple as that.
"You need to get out of your own head and take the fucking leap" Hunter spoke again, knowing he wasnt getting anywhere with this conversation.
"Its done, its for the best" I gave him a weak smile before I knocked back my whiskey and stumbled towards the stairs for another night on my own.
***
I had just come back from the docks, our friend from PD let us know that we were being watched, so we spent the last two weeks pretending Racer works at the docks and we just roll up to give him shit.
Of course we gotta get our shit moved and off loaded to our warehouse so whilst we keep PD busy with our antics we have guys from the warehouse unload containers and get them back to our depot promptly.
I buried myself into this shit just for a distraction, Pippa came down for breakfast this morning and the tension could be cut with a knife.
I got up and left because I couldnt sit there and not want to absolutely devour her. Beg her to forgive me for being an asshole.
And I cant fucking explain how horny I am, its been weeks and I think I might be dying.
Some days I am even too sad or wound up to do it myself and that just tells me what I was fucking afraid of.
I was starving for sex and food and I knew I could only have one, so I was going to devour every single thing in the fridge and fuck everyone else.
Im fucking sad. I need it.
I made my way into the kitchen like a man on a mission and I stopped in my tracks at the sight of Pippa, a summer dress that hugged her curves, the cast wrapped around her broken leg and her arm in a sling. But her face was no longer bruised, her skin getting that glowing tan back, a smile plastered on to her face as she laughed at something Georgie said. The sound of her laughter filled my ears and made the grin on my face reach my ears.
I didnt get a good look at her this morning, I was to afraid id say something but fuck I couldnt take my eyes off her now.
When she caught my gaze, her face fell and my stomach dropped out of my ass.
"Oh - dont mind us" she mumbled and I pointed to the fridge.
"Fr - fo - hungry" I stuttered out, my eyes darting from her face to her toes. I could feel myself growing hard and when I spotted those flush cheeks, I groaned rubbing my hand down my face.
"We should go" Pippa said to Georgie before she shimmied across the counters trying to get closer to her wheel chair.
"Let me help" I placed my hand out for her to take and she looked at me, her eyes full of apprehension.
"Just let me help you, we can still be friends Pippa" her face told me that was not the right thing to say. Not in the slightest.
And when I got the finger off my sister who then helped Pippa into the chair before taking off in a huff it pretty much confirmed, I am a fucking dickhead.
***
Just to confirm for any of you doubters...
Pippa does NOT want to be my friend.
Nine fucking weeks.
NINE!!!
She has been home for nine weeks now, she gets her cast off today in exhange for a boot, but doc was happy with her and feels she is ready to start with rehabiliation.
Good news. Im happy for her.
But I find myself sitting in the warehouse looking at Jinx, his breathing coming in shallow as I admire the work my boys done.
He is hanging on by a thread and I refuse to make it easy on him. Hes on a rest day, but the minute I think he can take another bout of torture its my fucking turn because I am ready.
Ready to end this sorry motherfucker.
Pee, on the other hand. We have barely started. He has lost his beer belly and no longer looks like an overfed hampster so I think we did him a solid with cutting down his meal intake.
His time will come to, I need to get back into it and stop letting everything going on with Pippa distract me.
I made my bed so now I have to lie in it. Pippa and I are done, we have to be.
"Boss" Moose sat beside me as I watched Jinx's chest rise and fall, barely noticable.
"How long are you going to drag this out for?" He questions as he flexes out his sore knuckles, the beating he has issued to the two boys obviously taking its toll on him.
"Until I think they have been tortured enough. Water that fucker before he dies and feed him something, keep Pee on the lettuce, its worked wonders for him so far" I earned a chuckle out of Moose as he shook his head at me.
"I seen Pippa, the difference in her. No cast on her arm and only a boot on her leg but she is able to walk with her pimp stick"
"Were you talking to her?" I queried, any bit of information I can get I am clinging to like a stalker.
"All she said was she can finally move on from it all now. She looks happier than she has in the last few weeks" I nodded feeling relieved that she is happy but the selfish part of me hates it too because I cant share this moment with her.
What the fuck is happening to me?
*
I went for a ride out with Pop after my talk with Moose, I needed to clear my head before it explodes and thankfully Pop knew not to say anything, he remained silent which I was thankful for.
When I pulled up I could hear Georgie crying and her begging someone through the window of her bedroom.
"Please dont.."
"Just a little longer, it will get better"
I walked into the house in search for answers of what the hell Hunter has said or done but he was stood at the bottom of the stairs pacing. All the boys crowded around him.
"Shit" Big K spoke up, his eyes finding mine as his face turned white as a sheet.
"What?" I pulled a face at him, my expression somewhere between angry and pissed off with all the dramatics.
"Harry" Hunter looked at me, he was scratching his face. An obvious sign he was nervous. Add that to the fact he called me Harry. No one calls me Harry except the girls.
My face immediately fell knowing something was up and I sure as shit wasnt going to like it by the sounds of it.
"Is Pippa okay?" I pushed my way through the boys gathered at the bottom of the stairs but halted when I seen Georgie running down them with tears running down her cheeks.
"Harry, you need to go upstairs" she sobbed as she stopped halfway on the stairway staring at me and then back up the stairs.
"Whats going on?"
"Shes leaving"
My legs never moved so fast in my life. I took the stairs three at a time and nearly threw Georgie out of my way.
She ran after me, and when I walked passed Pippa's room, everything was boxed up.
All the stuff that had arrived in the containers over the last few weeks were still in the boxes and all the little things she had dotted around her room that made it her room, were gone.
I was struggling to breathe and I wasnt sure if it was because of this situation or the fact that I took off like a fucking cheetah. Or a lion, whatever.
I got to Georgie's room and Pippa was sat on the bed, a crutch beside her and a large suitcase the other side. Her face was buried in her hands and her shoulders shook as she cried her heart out.
I fell to the ground in front of her and pulled her head back, making her look at me.
I was shaking, the thought of losing her making me sweat. I felt sick to my stomach.
"Baby" I took her face in my hands and rubbed the tears running down her cheeks away.
Her eyes squeezed shut and she blew out a breath, like she was preparing to tell me what I didnt want to hear.
"What are you doing?" I pushed on her, eager to have her say it so I can change her mind.
She shook her head and the tears kept coming, I felt broken. I hated seeing her like this.
"Talk to me" I was begging, I needed her to tell me and I needed her here, with me.
I couldnt lose her.
"I cant -" she sniffled trying to pull away from me but I didnt budge, I kissed her cheek and she shook against me.
"You cant what? Tell me baby.." I whispered.
"You fucking tell her Harry" Georgie growled at me but I ignored her and Pippa pulled away from me, looking me dead in the eye before she wiped away her tears.
"Im going back to New York, I got offered a job and I took it"
***
* Authors Note *
Please be aware, this story is being edited so there may be some discrepancies
Cliffhanger...
Sorry, but next chapter will be worth it. I promise.
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