#24
Madelyn's POV
Cole, Cara, Lucy, and I are all dancing in the center of a huge group of people.
Lucy met us here, she carpooled with someone else. Which is totally fine, so far I really like her.
But what I don't like is what we are doing right now. I personally think it's kinda nasty to be rubbing up against of sweaty people, but everyone else seems to be enjoying it.
Cara and Lucy are each holding a red solo cup, considering that they are the only two that drink.
"Are you going to be good? I really have to pee" Cole yells, close enough to my ear so that I can hear him. While pulling my body closer to his by my arm.
I smile and nod my head at him.
"Are you sure?" He asks again, "You can come with if you want"
"I'll be fine" I yell back to him.
He pulls be closer and quickly pecks a kiss to my lips. So quickly that I don't even really get a chance to kiss him back, but nonetheless I continue to dance.
And when I say I'm dancing, I really just mean I'm kinda bopping off beat. I don't have very much rhythm, especially when it comes to dancing.
I notice a guy come up to talk to Lucy shortly after, but it's too loud to hear what they're saying. He wasn't someone that I knew, which isn't really saying much considering that I don't know a lot of people.
"I'm going to go get another drink" Lucy announces as soon as the song ends.
I nod at her, Cara too busy dancing to even notice.
Cara on the other hand is a much better dancer than me. Constantly moving on beat and not at all in an awkward way.
A beautiful girl walks up to us and taps Cara on the shoulder. She lifts her head up and her cheeks immediately blush. This must be the girl that she's been going on about. And she is just as pretty as Cara was had said.
"Jess, this is Madelyn. Madelyn, this is Jess" Cara says, introducing us.
I reach out my hand and shake hers, "Hi, it's nice to meet you"
"It's nice to meet you too. Cara is always talking about you"
I give Cara a look, "She is always talking about you as well. And you are just as pretty as she told me you were."
"Really?" She asks, also giving Cara a look.
I nod my head in response just as a slow song comes on.
"I'm going to go find Cole" I tell them, trying to give them some privacy.
"Okay. Be safe" Cara tells me.
"I'll try" I smile back.
I push through the crowd of people to the kitchen, looking around but not seeing him anywhere. I stand on a chair to get a better angle and look around the entire room, still not seeing him.
I then go down a hallway where Cole had previously told me the bathroom was, thinking that maybe he was still in there.
I knock on one of the two doors and push it open. I quickly close it after seeing no one inside. I then knock on the door. I get no response so I push the door open.
"Oh sorry" I say to the couple making out before shutting the door.
I reopen the door after realizing that I knew the couple making out.
My heart drops through my stomach, not believing what I'm seeing. "Cole?" I ask.
He turns to me, emotion consuming his features.
"Lucy?" I ask, after seeing the familiar and gorgeous girl he was kissing.
"Maddie" Cole says reaching out and grabbing my hand.
"Don't fucking touch me", I pull it our of his grip and walk towards the swarm of people, ready to be engulf by anything besides what I am feeling right now.
"Madelyn. I promise you it's not what it looks like" He says, keeping close on my heels.
I refuse to let the tears prick my eyes.
I reach Cara and turn around to face Cole as it seems everyone's phones go off at the same time, "It's fine. It's not like we're dating anyways. You can kiss whoever you want."
"Hey Madelyn" Cara says, holding her phone out for me to see.
My heart drops even further, if possible.
"No" I take a shaky breath, "This can't be happening"
I look around and see the picture of me in lingerie light up on multiple screens. A collective "Ooo"'s go around the room.
I push past everyone and towards the front door. Feeling everyone's eyes on me.
The tears starting to cloud my eyes, but I blink them away. Not allowing everyone to see how this was actually affecting me.
I rush out the front door and to the side walk.
"Madelyn. Please" I hear from inside the house, but I ignore it and continue to walk.
I find a large tree a couple blocks down and press my back against it, taking a deep breath. Or at least trying to. The shaky breath rakes over me as I hear multiple sets of foot prints approach.
"Stay away from her" Cara says sternly, shortly after letting out a "hmph".
"Please just let me talk to her" Cole says quietly.
"I swear to God that I will maze you"
"Please"
I step out from behind the tree, "It's fine Cara".
He lets out a sigh of what seems like relief, "Madelyn. please let m-"
"No. I won't.", I cross my arms suddenly feeling self-conscious standing in front of him. And unable to look at him directly. "Of course I'm upset about the kiss, even though I know a shouldn't be. We were just friends, but I had always thought that you were someone that I could fall in love with someday. Someone that I could be more than just friends with. I've always wished that I had been ready to date you, but I am so glad I wasn't."
"Mad-"
"No" I respond, starting to talk louder. "I trusted you", my voice breaks, tears starting to stream down my cheeks. "With things that I've never trusted anyone else with. That picture" I pause trying to process what to say next. "That picture was never meant for anyone, but I thought there was no harm in sending it to you. I guess that's on me. I thought you could be someone you're not. Turns out you always just be the player next door, and it's my fault for thinking you could be anything more than that." I turn and begin to walk the other direction, uncontrollable sobs violently raking through my body.
Cara soon catches up to me and takes me hand in hers, for comfort. The sobs continue until I decide that I'm tired of crying. And then the emptiness takes over until I'm numb.
***
Cara's POV
I knock on Madelyn's bedroom door and get no answer. I push the door open and see her laying on her bed. In the same clothes from last night.
I sit on the edge of the bed, "Do you want something to eat?" I ask her.
"I'm not hungry" She replies, monotone.
I'm not good at this.
My life has always been what others would consider perfect. I've never dealt with anything mentally. I don't know what it's like. Therefore I don't know how to help.
He would know exactly what to do. I mean he pulled her out of this trance last time. Got her back to being... her.
But after knowing what he did, there's no way that he is ever stepping foot in this apartment.
I've got to admit, I never thought that he would stoop this low. I mean he has the bad reputation. But after seeing him with Madelyn, I thought he was different. I thought that she made him better.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask her, running out of ideas.
"No"
I stand from my seated position and walk out of her room, closing the door behind me.
I pull out my phone and dial a number, walking to my bedroom and shutting the door so that Madelyn won't be able to hear me.
It rings as I hold it to my ear before the familiar voice answers, "Hello?"
"Hey, this is Cara. I'm calling about Madelyn."
"Why? What happened? Is she okay?" Chris asks frantically.
"She's physically okay. But Cole did something, and it really fucked her up"
"I knew he was going to fuck her up", I hear him sigh on the other side of the line. "There's actually something that I need to tell her, but I was waiting until the last minute because I didn't her to be anxious for longer."
"What is it?" I ask, my heart rate quickening.
"Our birth mother is having a parole hearing and our lawyer thinks that they're going to let her out this time. So she wants Madelyn to testify." He says cautiously.
"What do we do now?" I ask him.
"The parole hearing isn't until next week. Let's just hope she gets better before then."
I let out a sigh, "How do I help?" I ask him.
"Make her want to feel" he tells me. "she'll stop being numb if she has a reason not to be"
"Okay" I respond.
"Call me if you need anything" He says.
"I will, thanks"
"Bye"
"Bye"
I hang up the phone and walk out of my bedroom. I'm a little startled when I see Madelyn standing in the living room.
"Madelyn?" I call out to her but get no response, "What are you doing?"
"I need to pick Hazel up from her sleepover" She says.
"I can do it"
"No, it's fine." she says before walking out of the apartment.
I pull out my phone and dial another number, feeling the need to talk to someone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, how have you been?" I ask Adam.
"I've been better" He says.
"Me too" I respond.
"Still figuring things out?" He asks, referring to my sexuality.
"Yeah" I respond. "I'm sorry" I tell him, feeling guilty for being confused.
"Don't apologize" he says, "I understand. It's not like it's a choice."
"Yeah. I just feel guilty."
"For what? Trying to figure out who you are? Because you shouldn't feel guilty for that. And once you figure out who you are and who you like, if you still like guys, I would love to have another chance with you."
"Thanks" I tell him, "For everything".
"Of course" He responds.
"Can we be friends until I figure myself out?" I ask him.
"I'm still in love with you. And I can either be friends with you, or be in love with you. So we can't be friends now, but maybe someday."
I smile at his words and his sincerity.
"I've gotta go, but I'll see you around" He says.
"Yeah, bye"
"Bye"
***
Madelyn and Hazel walk through the front door about 15 minutes later.
"I'm gonna go take a nap" Madelyn says before giving Hazel a fake smile.
She walks to her room and shuts the door behind her.
Hazel comes and sits on the couch next to me, Bruno joining us.
She runs her fingers through her hair while she talks, "Is Madelyn okay?".
"What do you mean?" I ask, pretending that everything is okay.
She gives me a knowing look, "She's doing the thing again, isn't she?"
"What thing?" I ask, continuing to play dumb.
"The thing she did after he died" She turns her gaze to her fingers tangling in Bruno's fur. "The thing where she doesn't feel anything"
"How do you know about that?" I ask her furrowing my eyebrows.
"In the hospital, once he was gone, I sat outside her room because I didn't know what else to do and I had no where else to go. Chris was taking to his lifeless body about the past and I didn't want to intrude. But I could hear you guys. I could hear her sobs until she just stopped all together and I don't want that to happen again." Hazel continues, not lifting her gaze. It had been a while since their father's death, but I could tell it still hurt her a lot. I've never lost a parent before, but I can assume it's one of the hardest things to go through. Especially losing both of your parents at such a young age. Being strong must run in the family, unless they're just really good at hiding it.
"Don't worry about it" I try to assure her, "Let Madelyn and I worry about it"
She nods her head.
"Tell me about you sleepover" I say, trying to lighten the mood.
"I had so much fun"
She continues on for awhile about all the fun things that her and Olivia did. Her mood seeming to lift almost immediately. When she finishes talking about her sleepover, it seems that she had forgotten about what she was worried about before, and I wanted to continue that.
"Do you want to watch a movie?"
"Sure" She responds.
I grab the remote and flick on the TV, turning it to Netflix right away. I begin to scroll through the movie, "Which one?" I ask.
"Can we watch Mean Girls? I've heard people talk about it at school but I've never seen it"
(A/N Yes I know that Mean Girls isn't on Netflix :(. Let's just pretend that it is.)
"You've never seen Mean Girls?"
"Nope" She shakes her head.
"Okay, we have to watch it."
"Can we watch the second one too?" She asks.
"I mean we can. But it's so bad in comparison to the first"
***
"You can sit in the front seat if you want" I tell Hazel as we walk to Madelyn's car.
I'm taking Hazel to school, considering Madelyn is still... numb.
Every once in a while I'm able to get her to drink some water or take a bite of some food, but other than that, she's been in bed.
I hop into the drivers seat and buckle my seat belt. As I put the key into the ignition as I look up to see Hazel standing in front of the car.
I roll down my window, "Are you coming?" I ask her.
"Yeah" she says but doesn't move.
"Is everything okay?" I ask her.
"Yeah, it's just the front seat" She mutters.
"What about it?"
"Madelyn says I'm not allowed to sit in the front seat"
"Why not?" I ask her.
"She's scared" she tells me.
"Of what"
"That I'm going to..."
She doesn't finish her sentence but I know what she's getting at.
"You don't have to sit in the front seat" I tell her, "It's fine to sit in the back"
She lets out a sigh before reluctantly sliding into the back seat of the car.
***
My phone dings as I walk out of my last class of the day. I pull my phone out my back pocket and read the text message.
Can you help me study for psych?
I smile before sending back a text.
Meet you in the library in 10?
I slip my phone back in my pocket and prepare myself to study with the girl I may or may not like. I walk straight to the library even though I'm only a couple of minutes away.
I take a seat at one of the couches by the windows, with a coffee table in front of it.
Before I get the chance to pull out all of my psychology stuff Jess sits down beside me.
"Hey" She says.
"Hey" I respond.
***
I hold up like the 25th flash card in front of my face, "What is the modern definition of psychology?"
"The study of..." she laughs, "the study...why can't I think of what it is?". She reaches out to grab the flash card but I pull it away.
"You can't cheat"
She laughs again, "I'm not cheating, I really don't know."
She grabs the card and I pull it away from her, inevitably pulling her closer until our faces are mere inches apart.
The smile leaves her face and she glances down at my lips. I swallow hard and lean forward, pressing my lips against hers.
She kisses me back and butterflies dance around in my stomach.
I pull away and rest my forehead against her, surprised at what I just did.
"Cara, will you go out with me?" Jess asks me.
"I'm sorry" I pull away completely, "I can't"
I stuff my things into my bag and stand abruptly, not sure what I'm doing.
I quickly leave the library and keep the brisk air hit my skin.
Maybe I'm just not ready for this?
Maybe I'm still in love with Adam?
I don't know.
***
I step out of the elevator and bump into someone, "sorry"
I look up and see Cole.
"I take it back"
I push past him and start to walk towards mine and Madelyn's front door.
"Wait. You have to hear me out about Friday night."
"Actually I don't"
"But I promise you it's not what it seems"
I turn towards him, annoyed. "Fine, you have 60 seconds"