A few days passed since that conversation and now I was outside the garden, looking after the kids with Esma.
I've been so happy whenever I'm looking after my kids. They're my happiness, my life, my everything... And they're the reason I made my decision... And I'm not going to back away... Because this is the only way to get more power... To protect my family...
I'll do anything for my children... Mehmet... Violetta... Selim... Bayezid... My beloved children... My everything...
And German...
Sometimes he might look cold and act coldly towards people... But only because he has a lot to care about and he's in deep stress sometimes because of everything... But he always shows his real self to me... Even if he had a lot to do a day he always can smile when I'm around him.
- My happiness... - he whispered as he always does when we're together in his room, or mine and just enjoying each other's company.
I just smiled and pulled his head gently into my lap and caressed his head gently as I know he loves when I'm doing that.
But soon it should be the time I start with my plan which is going to be hard... But I have to do it.
----- TIME SKIP -----
A few days passed when German called me to him again and he sent Sümbül aga to tell me this, but I sent him back.
We did this for two times before German decided to come around himself to see what's wrong.
- I'm sorry, German - I said calmly - But since I live here my believes are different...
No, it's actually not.
- And you know we can't be together like that... Until we're husband and wife...
This didn't came out as I wanted it to, but whatever. This will do.
German just stood at the door, shocked as I said that and then I just closed the door in front of his face.
This might won't go how it has to at first, but we'll see...
----- TIME SKIP -----
Around 2 days later I've been in my room when Sümbül aga came in with two other men on his sides. His face expression told me everything...
- Sultana... - he mumbled - Get your stuff because you're gonna go to the palace in Edirne.
Yep. That's what I was guessing. And I'm lucky that he didn't want to get me killed right away for being disrespectful.
- What did you do... Sultana... - Sümbül sighed, but I shot him a cold look and he quickly backed off.
Unfortunately I couldn't argue with German's decision as he didn't even want to see me at all so I had no choice, but to do as they asked me to and get ready to leave.
Before I left the palace I wrote a letter to German and I took my ring off and went to give it to him, but when I met Bali Bey at his door he told me that the "sultan" doesn't want to see me.
- That's fine... - I sighed painfully - I can't even take all my children with me and he doesn't even let me say goodbye...
- I'm sorry, sultana - Bali Bey mumbled, seem to be feeling truly sorry for me.
- It's okay - I smiled a bit - I'm not leaving forever anyway! But... Give this to him - I said as I handed him a box that I had the ring and the letter in.
- I will - he nodded.
- Thank you - I smiled one more time before I headed away.
But I couldn't even get ready to leave properly without the valide, or Mahidevran wouldn't make fun of me.
- You know... - Mahidevran began - You can simply say sorry and you might can stay.
- You just don't tell me what to do, Mahidevran - I hissed at her and left her in the middle of the corridor without saying anything more to her.
As I said earlier I couldn't take my sons with me, only Vilu. This made me even more sad than before. But this is for an important goal... So I'll survive and the witches only hate me. They don't hate my sons so they'll be fine.