Dedicated to Lucasxx44 💗💗💗
Happy birthday sweety!!! I wish you many beautiful years!! 💚 May happiness be on your side🎉💋
With love,
~xxxyours ♡
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Yours POV;
"I love you Y/N." Lucas says softly. Face right in front of yours. His breath tickling your skin. "I love you so much." He chokes out.
You hesitantly look up. Your eyes meet his, full of emotion, Love. But you also see in his eyes..., that he's afraid. It's obvious. But so are you, maybe even more than you realise.
You debate in yourself what to do. Do you love him? Of course you do, he is your bias. But do you love him, as in love love him, as in boyfriend material?
Damn, that's a scary word, boyfriend...
You feel his hand on your waist pull your body closer against his and you immediately snap your head up with wide eyes.
"Lucas," You start of.
"No, don't say it." He pleads. His eyes searching yours for assurance. "Don't, say it, please Star." He whispers. His eyes glinstering with forming tears.
His other hand moves across your cheek making a brushing motion.
"Wha," You squeak out.
"You're crying." He says with a small smile. "Please don't cry Star."
"But," You try to say again.
"It's okay." He smiles a bit wider. "I know this is not the ideal situation, hell, this whole situation is made to be an disaster." He chuckles now. "But I just wanted to tell you how I feel, you don't need to return the feeling, I don't even think I want you to return the feeling, I will only break your heart." He says now a sad smile on his face.
"You deserve all the happiness in the world, I may not be the right person to give it to you, but I'm sure you will find someone. You're amazing Y/N. Please know that you'll always have a special place in my heart." He finishes.
"Lucas," You try again. "You didn't even let me answer." You let out a sad chuckle. Sniffing your nose and wiping your eyes carefully not to ruin your makeup.
You don't actually know what to say, or how you feel. This whole situation is confusing and way to complicated. But you do know what you want right now. And you are going to get it.
You close the left over space between you guys and softy press your lips against his. You feel his grip on your waist tighten and he pulls you hard against his body. You place your hands on his chest while slowly tilting your head so he can easier kiss you back.
You feel him hesitate for a moment, so you press your lips more desperate against his. He replies to your kiss and you melt in his touch.
His lips move against yours carefully and his tongue hesitantly slips between your lips. His tongue explores your mouth, but not with lust. With love. You move your hands in his hair and tug softly, trying to pry a reaction out of him.
"Hmm, ahh, Y/N." He growls lowly in between kisses. He bites softly on your lower lip and tugs on it with his teeth. You pull back slowly, eyes fluttering open and keeping contact with his.
"Lucas, I don't know how to answer you. I've only loved or liked anyone once. It was such a terrible experience, that I don't even know if I will ever be capable of opening up again." You say softly when you realise he is probably still waiting for some sort of reply.
"I'm sorry." He whispers.
You take a step back with a questioning look on your face and look straight in his eyes. "Don't apologise. I'm not saying that I don't feel anything at all, you know." You say, now a small blush spreading across your face.
The frown that was present on his face for the last couple of minutes turns in a small hopeful smile. You relax by seeing him smile again, a small chuckle leaves your mouth. "Hell, Lucas, I even think I may have fallen harder for you then I did for anyone ever before." You exclaim.
"I'm just to caught up in my past and the walls that I have built for myself, that I honestly don't know how to let you in and accept what I'm feeling." You explain hesitantly.
"Y/N, never in my life, will I pressure you in doing something you don't want. The only thing I will do, and not just now, but always. Is love you." Lucas says.
You look up at him with sparkling eyes.
Never in your life did you even imagine, that there would be this person, who could make you feel like this. Loved.
"Thank you." Is the only thing you whisper before jumping in his arms. Luckily he catches you. Hands holding you steady around your waist. You wrap your legs around his hips and move your hands in his hair. You snuggle your nose in his neck. "Thank you so much Lucas."
"Listen Y/N, I don't know if I ruined this evening by confessing, and I know this was probably not the best way to do it. But you looked absolutely stunning standing there, with sparkling eyes, looking at the fairy lights. I just couldn't hold back." He says with a grin on his face.
"You didn't ruin anything..... Sushi." You giggle in his neck.
He groans by the mention of his new nickname. "You're serious about that name aren't you?" He asks with an annoyed sigh.
"Yes!" You say excitedly.
"Aish." You hear him chuckle.
You decide to tease him more and start placing small pecks on his exposed shoulder. Trailing up along his neck.
You hear him giggle a small 'that tickles' before you decide to spice it up. Instead of small butterfly pecks you start to leave open mouthed kisses while softly sucking on his neck. You feel his grip on you, tighten again and he moves his head in the crook of your neck as well.
He groans lowly in your neck while you suck a soft spot under his earlobe. You suck harder and his groans turn more heated. "Eugh, baby don't stop." He moans in your ear.
You giggle from hearing the desperation in his words and you move your head away from his neck. You look in his eyes, purely. You tilt your head cutely to the side and softly place your lips on his cheek.
"Sushi," you whisper in his ear with a giggle. "I'm hungry."
He lifts you up, away from his body, like how a kid hold his newly bought teddy bear. He looks you up and down with big eyes from the sudden mood change. You kick your legs in attempt to free yourself from his hold.
"You're hungry?" He says with a smirk.
"Sushiiiii!" You whine. "Put me down." You wiggle in his hold.
He puts you on the ground and takes big strides towards you. You shriek and start taking steps back.
Without noticing you're walking the pathway towards the small dining set underneath the Hollywood sign. You back away from Lucas but he keeps getting closer, smirk growing with every step. Until he grabs your arms and puts you to halt. You jump lightly and turn around to run away from him, but are stopped with a chair and the view of the letter 'W' from the Hollywood sign.
You feel an arm slide besides your waist and grab the chair in front of you to pull it a bit away from the table. You feel his presence close to your backside and his breath against your neck.
"Take a seat, baby girl." He whispers.
You softly nod, tranced by the dominance in his voice and slowly take a seat on the pulled out chair. You glance the table and see all types of sushi displayed.
"How did you know I was craving sushi?!" You ask amazed and wondering if he is a mind reader.
"I took a hunch." He shrugs and sits himself down across from you.
"So what did I do to deserve this quality time with 'The Great Lucas'." You chuckle while trying to stuff 10 sushi's in your mouth.
"Well, as I said earlier, I am leaving soon and even though this may not be ideal, I wanted to ask you something." He explains with a cheeky smile.
"Awsk awah." You speak with your mouth full while gesturing him to ask you what he wanted to ask.
You puff your cheeks from all the sushi you stuffed in your mouth and slowly begin to munch it all away.
"Damn, Y/N, you eat like a hamster." He laughs. "Onwy wif sushi." You reply, still munching on the tasty food called sushi.
He chuckles again and you melt in his eyes. He is sitting there, widely smiling, eating some sushi and looking at you with the most adoration you've ever seen.
"Star..., even though I'm an idol and I'm leaving in five days and I'm not the best person and I live in Korea and I lack a lot of things, I want to get to know you." He says, still smiling that gorgeous smile.
"Firstly, Lucas, you're an idol, so what?"You start off.
"Secondly, you are more perfect than you display yourself, like, give yourself some credit. The things you've been trough may be totally and completely different than my story but we all have our own struggles who make our personalities. Your imperfections may look as burdens to yourself, but to me they make you as a person. I wouldn't want anything more than get to know you, with all the hurdles that may bring. I am willing to try~
But only if you are willing to give me time."
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Hi .-.
I need to rant a bit about some stuff, feel free to skip😬🙃
Okay so firstly, this morning I watched the last episode of the drame True Beauty, and it honestly killed me. I was watching it during an online lecture at like 8.30 in the morning. The moment the series started I started bawling. Not crying, no, bawling. The whole hour and 20 minutes long, I cried like a baby. Like who can blame me?!
Fucking Han Seojun deserves the world😭🙏💗
Because of my morning crying session I have been an emotional wreck the whole day like I think I have burst out in tears trice, during lunch because a bird flew against the window, when I was walking outside with my headphones in because of a sad song and during a freaking food commercial this evening when I was watching TV. I straight up wanted to throw myself of my rooms balcony.
So besides all this, my dad decided to make tomorrow the most weird day of my life. My parents got divorced a year ago so it is not that long ago. It was a really messed up period for me but I'm doing better now than when they were together so it's fine. My dad has had a new girlfriend for over 8 months now, which I think is pretty soon after the split but it's not my place to judge. I'm going to meet her tomorrow, without my mom knowing this is happening, and I truly don't know how to feel about this. And I truly don't know who to talk with, so that's why I'm just ranting in this chapter🤷🏼♀️
THIS HERE IS A QUESTION FOR ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Lately I have had a lot of questions about myself from people and a lot of people asking to do a face reveal. If you want to know something about me or if you really want a face reveal.... please ask away here in the comments —>
I'm sorry for this messed up authors note😓💗
All the loves❤️❤️
~xxxyours