I lie on my bed, and try my best not to think about my life being in danger. It's kind of hard when my parents hired a body guard, and someone is always following me or in my presence.
I appreciate the protection, but sometimes I need some quality alone time. This is the first time in this whole entire week I've gotten some. Last Saturday, someone left four crucifixes in the nursery, that read 'We Will Kill Christen.' The day after, my parents hired someone to follow me every step of every day.
My bodyguard's name is Butch. He's a pretty cool guy and we have a lot of fun together, but he's a tad over the top. He freaks out if people stare at me too long, and he yells at anyone who gets too close to me. The fact that he carries a gun with him 24/7 is intimidating enough without all of that extra stuff added to it.
He's currently sitting outside my door, preparing for danger every second that goes by. I feel so bad, because he's always looking out for me. He never goes home, and he sleeps outside my bedroom. I try to bring him food and start conversation whenever I can. He is only about 30, so I know he has a life outside of protecting me. Whenever I bring that up, he says 'I don't care, as long as you're safe.'
I stifle a sigh, and talk to GOD.
'Hi Daddy.' I say, smiling to myself. GOD makes me so happy.
'Hi Baby girl, what's up?' He responds cheerfully.
'Just thinking about my potential murders. Same old same old.' I joke, although I really am concerned.
He smiles warmly. 'You know I'll always protect you, right?'
I nod my head yes. 'Then you have nothing to worry about, trust me.'
'You know I do, it's just scary.' I admit, feeling fear latch on to my entire being.
'I know.' He says understandingly, and I imagine he's stroking my hair comfortingly.
I just bask in his comfort and love, with a smile. There is not a single time in my life that I've felt more complete than the moments I am with GOD. He is my everything, and I'm nothing without him. I give a hug, and he returns it.
'I think you have a visitor.' He says amused.
I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, and sit up. I am utterly shocked to see Grant standing by my window with flowers.
How did he even get on my balcony? He must have climbed. My heart beats excitedly, and I can't help but realize this is the sweetest thing ever.
I tiptoe to my window, and slowly open it. I don't want Butch to hear. I gesture to Grant to be very quiet. He steps through the window, and immediately pulls me close to him. He inhales my scent, and I bury my face in his chest.
You're probably wondering why we're acting like we haven't seen each other in a week, and that's because we haven't seen each other in a week. Butch absolutely hates males to be around me, unless they're in my family. He says they're 'more of a threat'. I tried to explain to him that Grant was my boyfriend, and he'd never hurt me, but he wasn't having any of it. I wasn't even allowed to sit with my guy friends at lunch anymore, I eat lunch with Butch now. Yes, he goes to school with me.
Grant pulls away after awhile, looking slightly uncomfortable. I don't even care, because he just managed to give me a two minute hug. We are making remarkable progress ever since the day he gave me my promise ring.
As happy as I am to see him, it's too risky. "You can't be here." I say sadly.
Grant frowns, and forms an annoyed look on his face. "I don't care about Butch, ok? I just need to see you." He declares, looking at me intently, filling my stomach with butterflies.
I look towards the door anxiously, fearing that Butch will pop in at any minute. When he doesn't, I turn back to Grant. He hands me the flower he has been holding all this time. I realize they are gardenias, one of my favorites.
I take them happily, and inhale the sweet scent. "Thank you, they're beautiful." I say.
He shrugs, and hops onto my bed loudly. I swat his arm. "You have to be silent." I hiss.
"I already told you, I don't care about Butch. He can come in if he wants." He says the
last part loudly, almost daring. Men and their stupid testosterone.
"Christen, you all right in there?" Butch asks, through the door, and I jump at the sound of his voice.
I scramble quickly for an excuse. "Yes, I was just singing." I reply.
I hear him try to stifle a laugh. "I hate to burst your bubble darlin' but you sound a little manish."
"I'll work on it." I call back.
I swat Grant's arm again, and glare at him furiously. "We could of gotten caught."
He just laughs, and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Run away with me and Jacob today."
My heart throbs at the sound of Jacob's name, I haven't seen him in about a week and a half. He's probably forgotten all about me. I miss him so much. As much as I would love to spend the day with them, I know I won't be allowed to.
"I can't." I say.
"I say you can." He retorts.
I sigh at his stubbornness, it's no way I'm getting through to him. For a minute I entertain the idea of running away with Grant, but then I quickly squash the impossible idea.
"Where's Franklin today?" I ask, noting that he said I was only running away with him and Jacob. I know Franklin would never pass up an opportunity to tag along with his big brother unless he was doing something.
"A father and son fishing trip with my Dad." He says, with an unidentifiable look in his eyes.
"Why didn't you go?" I ask hesitantly, although I'm pretty sure why.
He looks down at his phone, trying his best to dodge the question.
I decide not to let him get away so easily, and I lift his chin up, so he has to meet my eyes. "I asked, Why didn't you go?"
"I just can't deal with him right now. Every time I look at him, I see lies." He says sadly. I hate seeing how his Dad's infidelity is hurting him.
I put a comforting arm around his shoulder. "I know it's hard, but you have to remember nobody is perfect. Your Dad and your Mom are having a lot of problems."
"Is that what he told you, to make you keep quiet?" He asks, and I feel a little defensive at his statement.
"No, that's what he told me, because it's true." I say.
Grant crosses his arms, signaling he doesn't want to continue the conversation. I don't care how he feels, we're finishing it.
"You need to forgive your Dad." I say as firmly as I can in our whisper voices.
"He doesn't need my forgiveness, he needs my mom's." He says.
"That might be true, but as long as your mad at him he needs yours too." I say.
He just sits there and glares at the wall. I know he's thinking, and I decide to let him sit on it for a while. Okay, now the conversation's over.
A knock sounds on my door, and I nearly jump out of my skin. "It's Butch."
Why is Butch trying to come in, weren't Grant and I speaking quietly enough? I panic, and gesture for him to get under my bed. He refuses, and I huff in frustration. Is he serious right now?
"I'm getting dressed." I blurt out the first excuse I can think of. Grant raises an eyebrow, amused at my terrible lying.
"Alright, take your time. I just wanted to tell you, I'm going to the store very quickly. Keep all the doors and windows locked, don't let anyone in here, and most importantly don't leave this house. Your parents are home, and your Nana and siblings are downstairs." He informs, leaving me weary of all the rules and restrictions. But I know he's right.
"Ok, I'll see you when you get back B." I say, calling him by his nickname.
I can hear a faint grumbling, and I know it's because he hates when I call him B. Why does no one ever like my nicknames?
I slink back on my bed, glad Grant and I can finally talk at a normal volume. I notice he has an excited look on his face, and I'm confused why.
"What?" I ask.
"Now's our chance to run away, he's leaving." He says.
I give him a leery look. "I don't think that's the best idea you ever had Sweet Cheeks."
"It will be fine. We just have to leave before he comes back."
"No." I say shaking my head, this won't end well.
"Yes." He insists.
I inhale deeply. I want to go, but it's just not going to happen. "My parents won't allow me to disobey Butch, as soon as they see me leave they're going to make me come back." I explain.
"Then don't let them see you, we can go through the window." He says nonchalantly.
I give him a look of disbelief, not at all picturing myself climbing out a window. "You might have some sort of Spidey powers, but I am not coordinated enough to perform that task."
He mouths the word 'chicken', and I feel my blood boil. I'm not a chicken, I'm just not stupid.
He starts making chicken noises, and I find myself desperate to prove him wrong. "Fine, I'll go with you." I say, not believing I just gave in so quickly.
"Excellent." He finalizes, reclining himself further on my bed. I have the urge to pluck him in the face, he completely just manipulated me. I guess I have to keep my word. I told him I'll go, so I will. Plus, I secretly want to.
I assess my current outfit, not deeming it worthy to be worn outdoors. I'm wearing SpongeBob pajama bottoms, and a torn Sleeping With Sirens T-shirt. Yeah, I'm really attractive right now.
"I have to change." I say, pointing towards my bedroom door. I want him to leave.
"I can't go out there, then everyone will know I'm here." He disputes.
"Well, I'm not changing in front of you, so you better do something." I say, folding my arms.
He takes a hand and slaps it over his eyes. I check to make sure there are no spaces in between his fingers, and start getting dressed.
I pick out a simple, but nice outfit. A light blue top with dark denim jeans. I slip on my converse, and take Grant's hand off his eyes.
He gives me an appreciative glance. "Cute." He says, leaving me blushing.
"Thanks. So where are we off to?" I ask him curiously, brushing my hair.
His only reply is "Everywhere."
He leads me to the window, lifting it open so I can climb out. He climbs down the balcony first, and reaches up to help me do the same. I feel a rush of fear when I realize how far I am from the ground. I take a deep breath and let him help me down. When I'm finally on the ground, I sigh in relief.
We run to his car before anyone can stop us, and he starts it quickly.
"We're going to get in so much trouble for this." I say, not able to keep the grin off of my face.
Grant smirks at me. "It was bound to happen at some point." He reasons, intertwining his hand in mine. He pulls off to start the beginning of what I'm sure will be a very fun day.
***
Grant meant it when he said we would go everywhere. After we picked up Jacob, we went to the lake, Chuckie Cheese, the mall, and the zoo. We even spent some time at the field Grant took me to last Friday. I couldn't stop myself from blushing as scenes from our intense make out session flashed through my mind.
It is about five o' clock in the afternoon, and I've received no less than 50 messages from Butch. I assured him I was ok, and turned off my phone. He threatened to come looking for me, but I know he won't find me, I'm miles away from the house. I push the worry of what will happen when I go back home out of my mind.
We are currently at a a museum, and I find it difficult to focus. I keep looking over my shoulder, fearing someone was going to attack me at any second. I've been doing it all day, and I can't seem to stop it. Maybe I need Butch more than I thought, I don't do this when I'm with him.
'You only need me.' A voice rings through my head. I smile. That gives me the power I need to relax, and continue to enjoy myself. No one is going to kill me on GOD's watch.
I pick up Jacob from his stroller, and place him on my hip. "Hey little man."
He laughs, and tries to formulate words. I smile at the fact he thinks he's actually having a conversation with me. He keeps talking and talking, and my smile grows more with every sound. Although I don't understand a single word he's trying to say, I am so proud of him.
"Say Christen." I coo.
He just plays with my face, and doesn't say a another word. I'll get him to do it one of these days.
I walk through the museum, and eagerly point out cool stuff to him. He just squeals in excitement, the funny part is I don't even think he understands what he's looking at. He's just excited, because I'm excited.
When he starts to go to sleep I kiss his forehead, and rock him to sleep. In about five minutes he's out like a light, and I put him back in his stroller.
"That baby is stubborn." Grant says.
"What do you mean?" I ask smiling.
"Do you know how many times I tried to put him to sleep, and he refused? Then you do it, and he goes to sleep immediately."
I laugh, because it's true. "Of course he's stubborn, he's just like you." I tease, looking up at him.
"I'm not stubborn." He argues, furrowing his eyebrows at me.
"Yeah, sure." I say sarcastically. I take the stroller from him, and push it. If he thinks he's not stubborn, he's delusional.
"You're stubborn." He fires back.
"Yeah I know." I know I am stubborn, and I'm not delusional about it like he appears to be.
He continues to frown and I lean over and peck his lips. My body floods with electricity, and I feel a little light headed. Kissing him will never get old. He kisses me back, and tangles his hand in my hair. I remember we're in a museum, and the only thing that should be getting attention is the exhibits. I reluctantly pull myself away from Grant.
"Later." I whisper, and he smirks.
"What a cute family." The lady in charge of the prehistoric exhibit exclaims dreamily, catching our attention.
I want to tell her it's not what it looks like, but then I decide against it. Jacob and Grant are a part of my family, just not in the way she thinks.
"Thank you." I tell her, a smile. She returns it, and goes back to her job.
We go through every single part of the museum, and we leave after about two hours.
When we go to the car, Jacob finally starts waking up. I sit in the back with him, so we can play.
"You're finally awake!" I say, tickling him. This causes him to let out infectious little baby giggles.
I glance in the rearview mirror and see Grant smiling. I refocus my attention on Jacob, smelling that he needs his diaper changed.
"Good Golly, what the heck is your daddy feeding you?" I ask Jacob, waving my hand rapidly in front of my nose.
"Did you really just say 'good golly', What is this, Little House on The Prairie?" Grant asks sarcastically.
"Possibly. But seriously, what are you feeding him?" I ask.
"Baby food." He says defensively, and I am suddenly suspicious.
"Grant..."
"Ok. I've been giving him brownies for the last two days." He mumbles.
I frown deeply. "How many brownies has he eaten?" I ask.
"Maybe, about 12."
"You gave Jacob 12 brownies in two days!" I shout, causing him to swerve lanes slightly. "Babies are not even suppose to have that much sugar in a whole month! No wonder he smells so bad, your putting toxins into his little body."
"He likes brownies, so I give them to him. If I don't he cries." Grant argues.
I shake my head, truly not understanding his rational. "Ok, so he cries. He'll get over it, but you can't just feed him stuff that's unhealthy for him. All that sugar can make him sick." I state, grateful I found out now. What is wrong with him? Common sense alone tells you not to give a little baby twelve brownies.
"I don't know why you're yelling at me, he's the one who ate them." Grant grumbles, and I roll my eyes.
"Did you at least cut them up?" I ask, hoping he can redeem himself in some way.
"Yes, he can't chew them if I don't. He only has like four teeth." He says.
"Ok, good." I say. At least I'm satisfied with that answer.
When Grant stops to get gas I change Jacob's pamper. I hold my breath, and try not to vomit from the scent.
Jacob just grins at me, and it's almost like he's saying 'Yeah, I know my poop stinks.'
I dispose of the dirty diaper, and sanitize my hands.
Grant drives to this building that I can't quite identify. How many more places are we going to go to, not that I'm complaining. This day has been fantastic.
"Where are we?" I ask, searching for anything that might be familiar.
"The building my parents work in, we're going to go on the roof."
My face drops immediately, and anxiety starts building in my chest. "T-the roof?"
He gives me a knowing look. "I know you're afraid of heights, but you'll get over it."
I nod my head slowly and take Jacob out of the car. He squints his eyes cutely as he awakens from his second nap. I peck his cheek and hand him to his Daddy.
We walk up to the building, and Grant types in the code for the door.
"What do your parents do anyway?" I ask curiously.
"They run a computer company." He says with a lack of interest. I can tell he doesn't like to discuss the excess in wealth his parents possess.
When we get to the roof I grip on to Grant's arm for dear life. Oh my gosh, I'm going to die!
'Christen it's ok, you can calm down.' GOD says warmly, and I listen.
"Do you mind letting go of my arm? It's kind of going numb." Grant says, causing me to let go immediately.
"Sorry." I say, trying to redirect my gaze from my impending doom.
Grant motions to some chairs in the corner. "Come over here, I want to show you something."
I follow him, and he shows me a line of stars. I have to admit we have a pretty awesome view of them.
"Wow." I say in amazement.
Jacob's little eyes widen at the sight before him.
"No matter when I come up here, as long as it's nighttime, I always see those same exact stars." He says, and I smile. This is pretty cool. I can't help but notice one star stands out from all the rest.
"You should name the big one!" I suggest excitedly.
He laughs, and runs a hand over his face. "I already did."
"And..." I prompt.
"It's name is Christen." He says, brushing his finger tips across my cheeks, leaning closer.
I feel a blush arise, and I quickly try to collect myself. "Well, yeah that's a pretty cool name and everything. If you got a dog you should definitely name her that, I mean if you want to. Don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to do," I babble nervously.
Grant gives me a weary smile. "You talk to much." He places a warm hand on the side of my cheek, and captures my lips with his own. I let my hands rest on his chest. This is so romantic. Well, as romantic as it can be with a baby chewing on my hair.
Grant pulls away. "Jacob cut that out." He says chuckling. He removes my hair from the baby's mouth with a trail of spit falling all over the place.
We both laugh as Jacob starts clapping his hands. I think it's safe to say he's quite proud of himself.
We rejoin lips, and he holds me tightly against him. We kiss for a few seconds. I sigh in contentment, and pull away.
He forms a slight frown, and I revel at the sight. Grant Smith actually wanted to keep kissing me. He wasn't in a hurry to pull away, but he was actually enjoying himself.
I smile to myself and play with my hands. "I think I should get home. I wouldn't be surprised if Butch sent out an Amber Alert."
He rolls his eyes. "So what. If I take you back now, when will we get to hang out again?" He asks, making me long to go back in his arms.
"I don't know, we'll figure something out." I say hopefully.
As much as I don't want to end this perfect moment, I walk towards the door to exit the roof. Waiting for Grant and Jacob to follow.
~~~~~
Hello everyone, I know it's been ages since I last updated. And I'm sooo sorry about that. I have many new books, and I would love for you to check them out, some of you may have already. I am now going to start updating this book regularly again, so please continue reading :) I hope you liked this chapter, please comment and vote. What was your favorite part?? GOD Bless you, and most importantly I love you all! <3
P.S here is a fantastic website for you to check out. Just copy an paste it in your browser.
http://www.godisreal.today/love-letter-god/