Danganronpa x Reader One-Shots

Gay or European? - Nagito x Hajime

non killing game AU, y'all live in dorms again, this does not have a Reader-Chan lol, it's kind of a songfic based off the song 'There! Right There!' from Legally Blonde, Enjoy :D

Hajime pov

For some reason Fuyuhiko asked me to come to the dining hall. Since it's him who asked me to come and see him there I would guess it's important, he's not the type who just wants to hangout for no reason.

So I made my way to the dining hall.

Once there I saw that there were nearly all of my classmates gathered together, I looked around, spotting Sonia, Gundham, Kazuichi, Peko, Mahiru, Fuyuhiko, Chiaki and Ibuki. They all had power point presentations beamed next to them.

What the hell is going on here!?

I just stood to the side, pretty much in the back, keeping an eye on everything.

Suddenly Sonia began to speak, pointing at her presentation. On her presentation was... A picture of Nagito!? The heck!?

Sonia kind of sang?

"There! Right There!
Look at that tan, well-tinted skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay"

Always pointing out the fitting things on her presentation.

Author-Chan pov

Gundham cut Sonia off, saying his opinion to Nagito being gay:
"I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay"
Everyone was looking at him confused, then they all thought, murmuring:
"That is the elephant in the room
Well, is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically matically gay?"
Fuyuhiko continued:
"But look at his coiffed and crispy locks"

While pointing out Nagitos fluffy white hair in his presentation.

Sonia cut him off, pointing at a picture with socks on it, while kind of singing:
"Look at his silk translucent socks"
Gundham got an idea and changed his slide, it now showing the text 'eternal paradox' what fit his next sentence:
"There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seeing"
Sonia got curious and asked:
"What are we seeing?"
Gundham started with:
"Is he gay?"
"Of course he's gay" Sonia interrupted him.
"Or European?" Gundham continued, now looking at everyone, curious as to how they'll react.

Everyone made an understanding
"ohhhhhh" sound, and continued the debate:
"Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?"

Kazuichi turned to Gundham, who was looking at him (more Gayyyy XD)
Soda pouted: "Well, hey don't look at me"
Chiaki took her turn pointing out different things on her presentation:
"You see they bring their boys up different
in those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts"

With that she got the whole group in it:
"Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks"
Kazuichi looked at Sonia, which made her turn him down pretty fast:
"Oh please"
Poor Kazuichi looked very disappointed, while the group was continuing the debate, Hajime stood in the back, watching everything confused.
"Gay or European?
So many shades of gray"
Suddenly everyone had different shades of grey on their presentations.
Kazuichi continued alone:
"Depending on the time of day
The French go either way" while looking at Sonia, who just ignored him.
Everyone got back to the topic, in hopes of saving poor Sonia:
"Is he gay or European?
or-"
Mahiru took her turn, pointing at a smirking Nagito on her opened slide.
"There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro-hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say no way"
And with that everyone began questioning everything again:
"That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume"
"Is automatically, radically" Sonia began,
Gundham continued: "Ironically, chronically"

Chiaki took over: "Scurtinly, curtainly"
And Kazuichi finished with: "Genetically, netically"
What brought them all to the point that they decided Nagito is:
"Gay!
Officially Gay!
Officially Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay!"
Until on all slides a picture of Nagito holding Mikan appeared, they all cursed.
"Dammit"
And it began, once again:
"Gay or European?"
Gundham showed a few pictures of Nagito while singing: "So stylish and relaxed"
You name it, everyone questioned again:
"Is he gay or European?"

Gundham continued, showing a picture from Nagito, shirtless at the beach:
"I think his chest is waxed"

Chiaki teached the others about Europe:
"But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse"

That made the others question:
"Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code"

On all slides appeared the number 11037.
Peko took the following silence to prove her point:
"Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed"
But with that, the class got even more confused.
"Huh
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray"
Once again every presentation had a different shade of grey.

Now each and everyone of them was thinking in silence, until:
"But if he turns out straight
I'm free at 8 on Saturday" Ibuki stated.
And they all began asking in unison:
"Is he gay or European?
Gay or European?
Gay or Euro-"
Fuyuhiko got an idea and interrupted them all:
"Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try"
Gundham got quite exited and told him:
"Well the floor is yours"
With that Fuyuhiko walked over to a stand. On top of it stood Nagito himself.

Hajime got even more confused but watched it all go down, holding himself in the background.

Fuyuhiko began asking Nagito:
"So Mr. Komaeda...
This alleged affair with Ms. Tsumiki
has been going on for...?"
"2 years" He answered relaxed.
Fuyuhiko hummed in response and continued:
"And your first name again is...?"
What an obvious question, Nagito replied as quick as he could.
"Nagito"
Once again, Fuyuhiko hummed now asking the last of his questions:
"And your boyfriend's name is...?"
"Hajime" Nagito replied without hesitation.
Everyone gasped and he realised his answer, trying to save himself he spoke again:
"I'm sorry! I misunderstand
You say boyfriend
I thought you say best friend
Hajime is my best friend"

Hajimeme pov

That's it

That was too much

I got best friend-zoned

Even though we've been dating for months now.

I came up behind Nagito, pointing at him and screaming:
"You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it
I no cover for you, no more!"
They all looked at me confused and I swear I see a lonely sweat drop on Nagitos face.
"Peoples
I have a big announcement
This man is gay and European!
you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case" I announced.
Everyone looked at me, interested in my words, so I continued:
"No matter what he say
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way
You are so gay
You big parfait!
You flaming boy in cabaret"
Nagito wasn't fine with that.
"I'm straight!" He interrupted me.
"You were not yesterday" I said, smirking and looking him straight in the eye.
"So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay!" I told them all.
They continued:
"And European!"
"He's gay!"
"And European!"
"He's gay!"
"And European!"

We continued until...
"Fine okay I'm gay!" He told us the truth, the truth I knew from the beginning.

Everyone was cheering
"Hooray!"
While we shared a short kiss.

(word count: 1275)