Thorny Roses || YeonBin/TaeGyu/YeonGyu/SooKai AU✔

chapter 12

The earth was covered with the luminous blanket of the star sprangled night sky, half moon standing haughtily between them and carelessly shooting its pillars down the world, absorbing the black, creepy color of the hours of darkness. Moonlight was the only source of illumination in silver haired male's room, who was sitting in the bed, under the covers with his casual clothes on and had his back leaned against the headboard, his fingers subconsciously playing with the fabric of his blanket while his face was sunk in deep thoughts which were completely tearing him away from the outside world.

He knew he had always been hurting his hyung by rejecting his love all the time, but this time he had crossed the limit. He hated himself for hitting him and hurting his feelings brutally and how he could never control himself when he was angry. What if Yeonjun was right and he was really crazy? Thinking about this always terrified the silver haired male, he preferred to believe that he was different from others rather than that he was schizophrenic. He never wanted to be like this, he hadn't chosen this fate but he still had gotten it. Why couldn't he just live like other people? He wanted nothing more than having a normal life. He had never had many friends since he was homeschooled as long as he remembered himself, he had even enrolled in the university on his desired faculty but had to take academic leave soon since he wasn't feeling well and was having panic attacks on lectures. He wanted to know how it felt like to have friends and entertain with them, to live his life to the fullest. The only place where he could find some relief was a club which was always crowded by bunch of people, drunk or sober, it always made him feel alive, but Yeonjun wasn't letting him even go there. Of course, he knew the older male cared about him and his safety, but for Beomgyu he was just being overprotective. Maybe Beomgyu was a little out of his mind, but it didn't mean that he was a child and couldn't protect himself, right?

Beomgyu slipped down under the covers and laid on his side, placing his hands under his head comfortably.  He wanted to get rid of this feeling, but he knew there was someone else with him. He had always been feeling it in his mind and despite the fact that he was really scared of it, he still always liked the other's presence, even though they talked really very rarely, it was still a good feeling that he wasn't alone and he could share his feelings and pain with someone, even if that person was only part of his imagination. Too much emotions were attacking his body from different sides, but he still felt empty and void. That was what he hated the most because he couldn't cry and let his pain out of his body. "I'm very lonely," he murmured quietly, "Please, talk to me."

There was no response as he expected, but it still made him sigh heavily. The silver haired male was looking ahead of him in the empty space and feeling heaviness in his chest. "If you aren't going to talk anyways, then why do you stay in my mind? Why won't you just leave?"

"I'm scared."

Beomgyu flinched slightly at the sudden voice in his mind since he didn't expect his friend to talk. His heart started thumping loudly in his chest at realizing how much he had missed that voice. Beomgyu sat in the bed hurriedly and looked up, wandering his eyes around as if he was going to see his friend there. "Scared of what?" He asked as he rested his back against the headboard again, his breath hitching in expectation of hearing the other's voice again.

"Of being alone."

Beomgyu felt a little pang in his chest, he was sensing that something was wrong with his friend, but he didn't know what since the other male was blocking his feelings and preventing them from reaching to his mind. This didn't make it easier for Beomgyu though since he noticed that his voice was shaky and teary and he was desperate to help him but had no clue how he could manage to do it. "I'm here," he said softly, "My mind is always open for you. You can talk to me or share your pain with me whenever you want. I'll never block you out even if your pain is unbearable."