chapter 78

172 20 24
                                    

Soobin was up early the next morning, sitting in the living room all alone and staring down at Kai's picture with sad eyes and smile which only radiated irresistible love and gloom through them

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Soobin was up early the next morning, sitting in the living room all alone and staring down at Kai's picture with sad eyes and smile which only radiated irresistible love and gloom through them.

He was breathtakingly beautiful. His shining eyes were looking gently at the camera when Soobin was taking a photograph of him 3 years ago. His pretty features were captivating him and locking him in their beauty like they always used to. Soobin always loved caressing his soft skin more than anything else and having such beautiful memories of him, only hurt him now. He didn't know how to cure himself from the disease that lay inside his heart and had spread throughout his entire body. It wasn't getting easy from time to time, it was only getting worse. The only source of strength which was keeping him alive now were Yeonjun and Taehyun and he would do everything for them to be safe even if he had to sacrifice himself for this.

"Do you miss him?" he suddenly heard Taehyun's voice who was standing beside him and looking down at him with concerned eyes.

Soobin darted his gloomy orbs to his brother as he tried his best to prevent his eyes from tearing up. He nodded his head, "Yes, very much," he murmured in a small voice and stared down at the picture again, feeling the younger boy placing himself next to him and looking at the black haired boy with a sad smile appearing on his lips.

"He's beautiful," he said in a low voice, causing the older boy to feel even more hurt at those words and a single tear still rolled down his cheek despite his resistance. He was feeling like suffocating.

"His heart was even more beautiful," he said in a wobbly voice as he tried to choke down his tears, "He loved me more than himself. He had always been beside me my entire life and I still think that it is a dream now that he's no longer with me. I can't believe that -" he stopped and swallowed, trying his best to hold himself back from breaking down as some redness spread throughout his face, "that he's gone..."

Soobin bursted into tears as soon as he finished his sentence, hot liquid flooding out of his eyes while Taehyun watched him in concern. He patted his brother's head as a violent pang appeared in his chest as he felt somewhat guilty because of Kai's death because he was the main reason why Soobin started everything in the first place, "I miss him too much," Soobin sobbed as he set the photograph aside and covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking from the impact, "It hurts very bad. Sometimes I feel like I'm dying."

Tears formed in Taehyun's eyes as he leaned to his brother and wrapped his arms strongly around him, rocking their bodies slightly, "I know," he said in a bit tearful voice while Soobin wept against his chest, "But you can't do anything about it. You just need to let him go or you'll never manage to be happy like that. You have Yeonjun now, please, don't cry, it will break his heart too. There is no point in mourning someone who can never return to you, you will only hurt yourself like that." 

Soobin knew Taehyun was right, but he couldn't help his pain. It wasn't easy to overcome because it was like poison which was trying to kill him slowly and painfully. Sometimes he wanted just to erase his memories about Kai because they never brought anything except unbearable pain to him. He was wanted to rip them out of his mind but then he was remembering his own words, whatever he told Yeonjun that day -

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