Gravity by Sara Bareilles
Mika
It's been three days, three friggin' days na hindi kami naguusap. It's like living with him but not really being with him. Ang sakit sakit lang, kung noon hindi nagtatagal ang tampuhan namin maximum two days okay na kami ngayon parang hindi.
He doesn't want me to reach him. Pakiramdam ko ang layo niya and it hurts the hell outta me. I don't want to lose him entirely pero hindi niya ko hinahayaang magpaliwanag.
It's not as if I rejoice not being pregnant, hindi ko lang kasi alam how to convey the message and without actually breaking his happiness. I could remember it clearly, that joy in his eyes when I told him I took the test.
"Kumain ka muna bago umalis." He stopped to stare at me for a second I though he'll finally give in and make amends with me but he didn't.
"Hindi na, thanks." I swear I felt my heart torn in many pieces when I heard him say it. Ang sakit pala na yung taong mahal mo ni hindi ka matignan sa mata.
He left our house right after, nakatingin lang ako sa papalayong sasakyan niya. Pakiramdam ko parang siya yun, lumalayo na din.
"Am I losing you Kiefer? Am I?" I said to myself then closed the door. Hindi ko na kaya to. I decided I'll stay with my parents muna habang ganito pa kami, siguro Kiefer needs time alone. Galit siguro talaga siya sakin because he thought I don't want his baby.
As I pack few of my clothes I can't help but weep. Naalala ko not so long ago sobrang excited namin ni Kiefer folding and hanging our clothes sa closet tapos ngayon kinukuha ko ang ilan sa mga damit ko.
...
"Baby let's organize it according to color." I told him, but he's being his playful self. Ilang oras na kaming nagtutupi at nagaayos ng damit pero di namin matapos.
"Babe, ang liit naman nito. Ang cute, mahilig ka pala sa floral?" I frowned and blushed when I saw what he's holding.
"Give me back my panty!" I screamed, tinawanan niya lang ako saka tumakbo. Winagayway pa niya ang undies ko like its some flag.
"Stop it Kiefer, give it to me na."
"Baby, bakit mahilig ka sa printed undies? Ang cute cute mo." Shameless talaga nitong lalaking to. He had to say that to my face talaga? I don't like those lacey undies, I prefer my cotton ones. Nakakahiya tuloy, sobrang unladylike ba? I remember my friends giving me lingeries, thongs and all those Victoria's Secret undergarments during my bridal shower. Sobrang nakakahiya.
"Ay, babe. Naggaganito ka?" Hinarap ko siya, shit.
"Give that to me!! Kiefer Isaac!!" I screamed and he won't stop laughing. He saw the paper bag that I'm keeping. Yung bigay nila Billie, nakakainis.
...
Moving away.
I hate the feeling. Bakit ganun? Kung kelan namang we live in the same roof saka hindi namin maayos ang problemang to? I stuffed my traveling bag with enough clothes. At the back of my mind I'm hoping I won't need everything, I'm still wishing na the moment Kiefer finds out I left the house he'll come pick me up like he always do.
"Hello Ma, yeah. Can I crash in my room for few days?" My voice broke as I talk to my mother.
"Yeah, I'll explain to you later. I'm on my way there. Yeah, thanks Ma. Love you." I take a good look at our love nest before taking off.
Kiefer please, come back to me.
Ni hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal nagdrive from our house in Cainta to my parent's house in Bulacan. I'm too pre-occupied.
BINABASA MO ANG
Us Happened
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