Us Happened

The Dream

Mika

My steps getting heavier as I near him. Kiefer's leaning against his car right outside our house. It kills me.

Memories we ponder together came crushing to me. Him and I, me and him. Mika and Kiefer, inseparable. Us. Together. Now, the words don't even mean anything anymore.

"Ki-kief." I tried hard not to choke. Damn it is hard. The cold wind outside touched my cheeks and unfortunately it's not nearly enough to dry my tears.

There's so much finality in his eyes.

"Alam mong ayaw kong nakikita kang umiiyak." He said at lalo akong napaiyak. He held me closer, against his chest.

"Ssh. Stop crying." Kiefer consoles me. I had to swallow hard, my tears never ceasing.

"Then stop me Kiefer. Stop it. Sabihin mo sakin na mali lang ako ng iniisip and that you have your reason. Na ako pa din. Na walang nagbago. Tayo pa din, forever di ba?" I couldn't hold it in anymore. Iniyak ko lahat ng pwede kong iiyak. I don't want to be that girl again, the girl with pride intact but heart so broken. I'll lay my cards, all of it. For this, for him, for us.

"Mika..." I don't know why but when he called my name, cupped my face I felt a sting in my heart. I shook my head.

"No... I'm your b-baby. Bae please." I could no longer feel my legs, my weights, I'm feeling numb.

"Tatanggapin kita ulit, just explain to me." He remained quiet, my sight's blurred due excessive crying.

"No. No kahit wag na. Wag ka ng magexplain just stay with me..." This time I cupped his face and I leaned my forehead to his, staring intently in his eyes.

"Baby please. I love you." I plead. Tinitigan ko siya but he looked away. No.. I could feel him pulling away. No!! Slowly, I felt my grip loosening.

"I'm sorry Mika. Mahal na mahal kita, but if you can't see me as someone who you'll end up with ano pa ang rason ng relasyong to?!" I don't want to hear it. No.

"Ako, kahit bago palang tayo sigurado na ko. Pinangako ko na, ikaw na pero when you.. When you indirectly dumped my proposal, pakiramdam ko we're not on the same page." This time he's crying. Ulitin niya, ulitin niya. I will accept it.

"Baby trust me mahirap sakin to. Pero bakit pa natin patatagalin kung ngayon palang hindi ka pa handang maging akin? Completely." Nagkakamali siya. Ready naman na ako eh, perhaps I was..

"No Miks, ayokong magdesisyon ka ngayon. Parehas tayong vulnerable, pareho tayong nasasaktan ngayon and I don' want you regretting anything after." He added as if he read what's on my mind.

"I'll let you go Mika, I'll give you space and please give me mine too. Hanapin natin ang sarili natin tapos kapag nakapagdecide na tayo and still want to be together, we'll talk." How could he say it like it was so simple? How could he let me go just like that? Nasan na yung Kiefer na hindi kayang wala ako?

"I'm sorry Mika." The words after his sorry, I couldn't absorb anymore. Hindi ko na alam.

He left me.

Kiefer

My baby's sleeping as I scroll down in my phone checking instagram and twitter. I love stealing glances at her sleeping figure.

Nakayakap siya sakin, her head on my chest. Legs snaking mine. Clingy ang bae. Not complaining though.

My other arms' on her back, keeping her close to me. Pagod na pagod siya, she just came from a dreadful training. Sinundo ko siya kanina, after spending 3 days on the paradise called Indonesia we all have to go back and face reality. Normal lives again, me with basketball and my baby with volleyball.