supernova

18

I woke up Thanksgiving morning curled up on the stiff bench next to my moms bed. I got up and cracked my back and my neck before looking at the clock.

It was six thirty. I wanted to go back to sleep, but I couldn't on that chair. Mom must've heard me get up.

"Arabella, go home. You're clearly uncomfortable on that bench, I don't know why you're so stubborn."

"I told you I'd stay, plus it's better than being home alone," I reminded her.

"Go home, take a shower and get something to eat and then come back," she said before adding on, "We'll order from Boston Market tonight," she said and I nodded. We've been doing that the last couple years.

When I got home, I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of black sweats and a lightweight black crew neck. I quickly ate a bowl of cereal and was on my way to the hospital.

"Mom, I'm back," I said walking into her room. She was eating an omelette with breakfast potatoes and a glass of water.

"What did you eat?" she asked.

"Cereal. I can't eat too much though, I love Boston Market," I reminded her and she nodded.

"Yes. I know you do," she said laughing. "I remember when you were mad you couldn't get a discount because it was your fourth time there in a week. You were a sophomore, wow, that was a whole year ago," she said.

"Yea, do you want me to place the order early just in case?" I asked her and she nodded.

I spent the day hanging out with her. This was most likely my last Thanksgiving with her. We watched movies, and talked and then skipped lunch so we could stuff our faces for dinner.

Around four thirty, I left to pick up my order at Boston Market. 

It took my mom and me two hours to finish it because it was so much, but we finished it anyways. 

"Let's watch football," she said and I looked at her with an uneasy look on my face.  "We don't have to if you don't want to," she said and I shook my head.

"No. Let's watch football."

I had to step out of my comfort zone. I can't avoid football for the rest of my life. Watching football was something my dad and I did often. It was our thing.

I couldn't concentrate on the game. My chest felt heavy and my throat felt soar and stiff. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I wasn't expecting it to be this hard.

Baby-steps.

This was good. Baby steps.  I had to learn to take risks alone now.

Especially since my mom wouldn't be here that long.

I didn't want to, but I didn't have a choice.

I felt exhausted. I felt like I'd physically break into pieces at any moment now. My legs felt numb and my eyes felt soar. My mom was taking a nap, so around eight thirty, I decided to take a nap after texting Amukta to call me around eleven.

Amukta parked her car at the mall early this morning so we wouldn't struggle with parking. Her parents were dropping us off at the mall, which I was thankful for. The last thing I wanted to do was take an uber on Black Friday.

My phone went off and I woke up thinking it was my alarm for school. When I remembered it was Amukta and we were going Black Friday shopping, a rush of excitement went through me, giving me the strength to get out of bed. I put on my deodorant and some perfume before grabbing my stuff. Not wantin to wake her, I left my mom a note letting her know I had left.