supernova

epilouge:)

I teared up as I watched Sophia and Munynyim recite their vows. It had only been a few months since Atlas and I started dating.

We weren't rushing into things at all. We talked about getting married a couple months back, and both of us agreed on waiting at least year before one of us proposes.

Sophia and Munynyim had a pink and gold themed wedding. The tables and chairs were all grey, leaving the pink and gold to the decor. It was elegantly simple.

Sophia wore a white (with pink undertones) dress off the shoulder dress an a-line skirt undertones. There was a floral embroidery covering the top and smaller designs on the skirt made of a sheer lace fabric. 

Munynyim wore a bedazzled trumpet gown with thin spaghetti straps. It was a golden shade of white, also matching the theme of the wedding.

Munynyim's bridesmaids wore gold in their own style, and Sophia's did the same in pink. A couple of them wore monochrome tuxes in the same shade as the dresses.

I looked over at Atlas and smiled. He had been holding my hand the entire time, his thumb gently rubbing over my palm. He smiled back at me. I let go of his hand and wrapped my arm around his upper arm and rested my head on his shoulder.

More than the vows themself, I loved the way they were recited. The raw emotion filling their voice; the way when the other said something funny they only looked at each other while they laughed, the gentle promises and harsh realities of it all is the most beautiful part.

A relationship isn't perfect. It isn't supposed to be perfect.

My mom's letter told me that.

When You Think You Want to Marry Them.

I read it the day after Atlas and I talked about getting married because it felt right. It reminded me that a relationship isn't just a preservation of the love you share with someone. A relationship is something that's supposed to be given constant care. It requires love and affection, but also discipline and reprimanding. You cannot coddle it and you cannot neglect it because you think it'll be okay on it's own.

Atlas and I wouldn't have a relationship if it wasn't for our own self awareness and ability to admit to our mistakes. Our biggest issue used to be communication, but we've learned that without healthy communication we'll only go back to where we used to be in highschool.

When Munynyim dipped Sophia and kissed her, I felt myself squeezing Atlas's arm tighter. I loosened my arm, hoping I wasn't squeezing it to tight, but Atlas put his other hand on mine around his arm. 

The wedding ceremony had ended and there were a couple hours before the reception.

"You do know that for Amukta's wedding we have to steal shoes right?" I asked Atlas. I reminded him of this too often.

"I know, Arabella. What I want to know is whose shoes we'll be stealing." Laia was doing her fellowship in Boston. She texted Amukta and told her she's coming back and wanted to meet up.

Amukta was reluctant, but Deen told her to go. He told her she needed better closure than what she got. He trusts her so much, and she's crazy about him as thinks she doesn't need to see Laia.

I think seeing Laia will be a good thing for her.

Getting a proper chance to say goodbye is the kind of closure she needs. She very obviously loves Deen, but we all know a part of her is still bitter about Laia's rapid departure.  She needs to say what she wants to, and it'll be good for her.  She had moved on from Laia in a romantic sense, but she didn't get to move on from her as a person.

"We'll know tomorrow, won't we? Besides, Laia is thinking of doing her fellowship here in like a year. So even if what happens tomorrow happens, we might not know the long term effects of it," I told him.

"What color scheme should we do for our wedding?" Atlas asked.

"I'm not going to think about that until after a year. The more we think about it now, the more likely we are to rush into something. We've only been together a few months." He raised a brow at my response. "It's supposed to be grey and mint green, I thought you would've figured that out. I tell you I love your eyes all the time."

"What about the flowers?" He asked and I took a slow breath in.

"We might have to change that color scheme because I want roses and sunflowers," I changed my mind.

"I know Arabella. We have all the time in the world to think about this. I don't care how long it takes as long as it's with you." He whispers, laying a kiss on my forehead.  We weren't normally this mushy with each other, but it's nice to see this wedding affect him the way it affected me.

I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I've learned that I feel a lot more than I think I do, but with you I know I feel ten times more than what I normally do."

Our star started running out of nuclear fuel years before we met. When we finally did meet, the star exploded and created a supernova. It started off fiery and damaging, but slowly turned into something beautiful.

Atlas and I wouldn't be who we are today without the trauma and hardships. It was our breakup that was the final straw for us. For us to go get help for our own pasts and trauma before we created something beautiful.