Wdw sickfics

sorry.

i'm so sorry guys.
i might have to take a short break.

as i write this i'm having an emetophobia attack. i'm scared shitless. someone in my house got sick.

i'm shaking. i verge of tears. hyperventilating.
i was supposed to be writing a story about Jonah getting sick like but i'm sure if i'm physically or mentally able to write it.

it might not be a well known fear but i have it. it's serious.

i've had this since i was real little. no reason why i just have it. it's so hard to deal with.

it brings a whole new feeling of anxiety to me.

you don't know how hard this is until you have to deal with it yourself.

it's terrifying. but i have no control over this. i can't just get rid of it. it's not that easy. if i could i would.

just imagine this.

hearing that sound of someone getting sick. your mind going into complete overdrive. your breathing quickening till it hurts. your hands shaking like a horrible shiver. that image of that one sound getting stuck in your head and it play over and over and over again. 

i plug in my headphones and have the volume turned all the way up. even after they finish.
just to be safe.

i can't go to the bathroom for days after cause i still have it playing over and over in my head. i think i will see it.

i just want to say this cause i trust you guys.

i had an eating disorder. i was anorexic.
i wanted to lose weight but i couldn't do it the way i wanted.
i almost tried to get sick but i got way to scared. i always was a pussy.

because of this shitty fear i have.
it kind of helped me.

but never in any other situation.

anyways. i'm so sorry. i have to take a break.

i'm sure how long but i hope it's not too long. it probably won't be too long.

i will miss you while i'm gone.

i love you all so fucking much.

~andy.