Guys,im trying to keep updated,but im struggling.Authors note at the end.
I hated to just leave like that,but i cant do that.I cant act like me and Michael had nothing....He is the father of our lost kid,and he didnt even know....I cant say anything to anyone,i cant tell Marshall that 'Michael' is that same one.
I got to the house,Marshall was sitting on the couch.I walk in,holding my stomach feeling sick to my stomach at all of this Chaos going on...
"Babe? You okay?"
"Fine.Messed up,but fine....Uh Marshall? Is Hailie coming back?"
"She is going to be with her mom for a little,but she should be coming home soon.Why?"
"I was just wondering...Im gonna take a shower,and then i have to go somewhere.What are we having for dinner?"
"No idea.What would you like baby?"
"It doesnt matter...Im not exactly that hungry anyway..."
I walked into the bathroom,and turned on some music, "Better With The Lights Off" Was playing,as i stripped down and hopped in.
I wash up and get out.When i step out, "Ride" Was playing,singing along i got dressed.
"Fevers fucking running,feel the heat between us two" I sang,as the chorus played.
Dressing in jean shorts and a big white shirt over,with my hair in a messy bun,i walk out.
"Damn,you look good"
"You're funny Marshall,i look like shit.I took your shirt by the way,and im craving shrimp.Meeting up with Rosa,and ill be back in an hour.Love you babe" I tell him,sliding on my Taylors and kissing him quickly.I ride down to the starbucks and text her.
Me-Aye,starbucks,right now?
Rosa-On the way.
I smile,getting up and ordoring an ice coffee.
"Ice coffee,moca."
"Name?"
"Mrs.Mathers"
I smirk at my name.They would shit bricks if i said Eminem,of corse....i totally am going to do that one day.
I turn around and see Rosa sitting in the seat i had.Walking over to her,and sitting down in front of her.
"Hey"
"Hey.Whats up?"
"I need help.Michael is back,and hes with Haille.We need to get him away from her! You know what he did to me!"
"Okay okay,just calm down for a second.Okay,do you want him dead? Or just gone?"
"I want him away from Hailie."
"Okay.I can do that."
"Mrs.Mathers!"
i laughed and got up,getting my coffee.Rosa was sitting there giggling,because of my stupidness,
"But Marshall doesnt know that she is dating Michael,and he also doesnt know that Michael is the same one that got me pregnant...so dont say anything..."
"What? Why not? That was my plan!"
"Rosa you cant! He will do something stupid! Marshall may seem like a very serious and smart guy but....he can be a total dumb ass sometimes.He will think hes saving me,and really,hes stepping into quick sand" I explain sipping my coffee.She sighed.
"Erikia,i dont know what else to do.I figured if he knew that,then he wont let Hailie near him,.and then Marshall could scare him off,and he will go."
"But What if Hailie says no,and then she thinks having sex with him would be the only thing to piss marshall off and then he gets her pregnant!?" I ask.Some people where starring at us...
"Mind your own busniess! Fuck off!" I say to the old dude across from us.He quickly looked away,as Rosa and i giggled.
**********************************************************
Walking back into the house,hanging my keys up at the door.
"Erikia." Is all i heard.My heart sunk down to my ass....
"M-Michael?"
"Hello Erikia.How's life?"
"It sucks.You're here.Look,i dont want you anywhere near me,and if you hurt hailie im going to fucking murder you!"
He laughs.
"I found out some stuff"
"Like what?"
"That when i left,you were pregnant.You didnt bother telling me? You didnt call??"
"Michael im not arguing with you about something that happend a long ass time ago.Just leave,and never come back"
"What happend to my child Erikia? You give it up for adoption? Did you have an abortion? Where is it.??"
"We were going to have a little girl.I had already picked out a name....Melina.She was doing so good,and she was so helthey..."
"WHERE IS SHE?!"
"SHE DIED BEFORE BIRTH MICHAEL!" I shout. "The doctor said that she wasnt in good shape,that i should go ahead and have her.It was 7 months...but...he also said that if i gave birth to her at 7 months that i could die.I didnt want to die Michael,so i said id try to keep her until 9 months."
"AND?"
"And she didnt make it....Michael,i would have told you,but i didnt think i needed too.You were out on tour,and there wasnt a relationship between us anyway.You wanted some,and i gave it to you,simple.Its not like one of us actually loved each other" I laugh a little at the end.
"Maybe you didnt love me,but i loved you.I fell in love with you the day i met you.I wanted to stay with you forever but i couldnt.Now i see it was a good thing,because you are just a fucking skank that used me! AND HID MY BABY FROM ME FOR 3 FUCKING YEARS!!" He screamed.I sigh.
"Get the fuck out of my house Michael"
"You should have died,instead of Melina." He said,walking out the door.
I gripped my heart,holding it together as it was trying to break.I cant believe he just said that to me...Does he mean that? Do i need to die?
I sat on the floor,holding my knees,laying my head on top of them.Why am i such a fuck up? Why cant i just have a normal,teenage life? So many things are happening,and i cant handel it all.I dont really want to die,and leave Marshall and Hailie.I dont want to go yet,daddy would be mad...
"Daddy,please help me.I cant do this on my own,i cant handle the stress of this world.I know you said not to give up,but i dont have anymore hope..I dont have anymore courage to fight anymore.You and mom are probably laughing at my screw ups.Laughing at me going every which way,trying to pick up the pieces of my life and gluing them back together....but the glue only lasts for so long,its just temperary,right? Glue doesnt last forever...and soon its all going to fall apart.Could you help me gather the pieces?" I ask,leting a tear slip out of my eye.
"This isnt real" I lastly say,wiping away another tear.
Okay guys,another depressing chapter.Because im depressed....
So last night,i lost a friend.She didnt die,but she just hates me now.She chose her asshole of a boyfriend over me,her best friend...She started making fun of me with him,and laughing about it,thinking she would seem cool.I cant even think about it without crying...Like,they called me fat,and ugly.Which is true about me,but i dont like to hear that! My self esteam is compleatly empty rn....I could use a friend... If you guys want to,you dont have too..you can Kik me. @Hang_Loose_Ducky
It would be cool to talk to some of you anyway....Well,bye i guess.Ill update soon.Love you<3
