Hate To Love ✔️

Chapter 26

It's been a week since I saw Carson, I return to school tomorrow, that won't be awkward at all...note the sarcasm.
I keep thinking about last week, when we kissed...again, this is becoming a bad habit.
But worse than the kiss is when Carson told me he was "falling for me"
I know it was wrong to just walk away from him, but what was I meant to say, I don't know what I feel, I can't even love myself let alone anybody else.
Walking into a room as Carsons "girlfriend" would be like social armageddon, people would only have two assumptions about us...
One being:
"Has he lost his mind"
And the second one
"He's probably just using her for sex"
And that second one is probably going to end up being true, guys like Carson will do anything to get into someones pants, and I'm not about to be made a fool out of just for "love"
Love is meaningless anyway and it's definitely something I could live without, I mean I've lived without it this long, what's a couple more decades?
Staying away from Carson should be common sense, so why is this so difficult?
I remember some time before my mum started going crazy, she'd always tell me "one day you'll find your soulmate, just like I have with your dad"
Maybe that's why dad's so messed up, because he lost the one thing he loved in this world.
She said, your soulmate is the person who you couldn't imagine yourself without, someone you wanted next to you 24hours a day, someone who you couldn't stop thinking about...
Could Carson be my soulmate?
No way, now I've gone kookoo, why am I even thinking about these things?
Soulmates, love, destiny etc, these are all things I mocked.
A couple months knowing this guy and look where it's gotten me, stress and anxiety, because that's all love causes.
Pain.
I have to forget that Carson ever existed.

The next day
Once again inside the hallways of Raywood, hoping for nobody to spot me.
It was quite early so it was pretty easy to sneak around unseen, "ARIA FAY MAISE, where the hell have you been and why haven't you contacted me?!"
Okay who is that? And how did they get my middle name.
"Leona?" I questioned, turning around to be face to face with an extremely frustrated Leona.
"You dumb piece of shit! Don't even have time to answer my calls" she screamed.
"Wait how did you know my middle name?" I know I probably should be trying to calm her down, but I'm genuinely curious.
"Is that all you have to say?!" She growled.
"Look I'm sorry, I was figuring some things out" I chuckled nervously...I wasn't lying.
"Oh you mean with Carson!" She scoffed crossing her arms.
"How-
"I know everything" she cut me off narrowing her eyes, okaaaay...soo, Leona may or may not be a secret spy.
"Okay calm down, let me explain" I continued
The rest of the hour consisted with me explaining everything to her...