Chapter Thirty One

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Sweetheart nudged Icetail. "Hey," she mewed to him. He looked at the medicine cat, expecting Vinetail for a brief moment, before making out the former medicine cat apprentice's silhouette.

"Hi, Sweetheart," said Icetail. "Is there something you need?"

Sweetheart shook her head. "Not really. Since it's leaf-fall already, I wanted to go stalk up on supplies . . . but you know that I can't go by myself."

Icetail nodded. "Sure, I'll come." He remembered the time he collected herbs with Vinetail as an apprentice and sighed sadly at the memory. He shook it away. I can't live in the past . . . I learned my lesson.

"We have to take one more cat with us, though," Sweetheart meowed. "Should I take an apprentice?" She tilted her head and Icetail shrugged. "I'll be right back," she said.

It's been a a quarter-moon since Dewfang had been exiled from MoonClan, and things for Icetail haven't been the same since. Day by day, Icetail was depressed. He had lost almost everything, all thanks to the darkness. Every single night he would dread what would be the next step for the prophecy, but he never got answers since that night he dreamt of Dewfang being the leader of a Clan.

He would never stop thinking about it, and would always take into consideration to talk to someone just like Silverpaw suggested he'd do, but Icetail couldn't bring himself up for dumping his problems on other cats. He felt that his scars were burning, that his battle wounds were re-opening, and he felt fearful that Dewfang would come out of the shadows to strike. He was scared to go near the borders of DarkClan. Nothing good ever came from that Clan. And worst of all, Icetail was upset about his destiny. I was destined to suffer, he thought bitterly. Nothing I do will make me better. Everything good I have is just taken away. I can't stand it!

Even in the midst of a Clan, Icetail felt fully responsible for a lot of things his Clanmates did not know of. He felt responsible to keep them safe, to keep them away from this darkness. He wanted to protect his Clanmates forever, and carry all their burdens so no one else can experience what he was feeling right now. That's why he was so depressed and so alone. Everything he did was a huge bargain.

Sweetheart returned with Silverpaw at her heels, cutting off Icetail's train of thought. "I asked Grayfur if Silverpaw should come with us, and she agreed," meowed the medicine cat. "Let's leave now that the sun is still high."

Icetail sighed and nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

He led them outside the entrance, and began making his way towards where the herb patch was. "You know where it is, right?" Sweetheart asked.

"I do," Icetail responded. "I've been there a few times as an apprentice." He kept on leading them. Icetail's ears pricked as he overheard Silverpaw's and Sweetheart's conversation. For once, Icetail wished that he did not have good senses.

"Is he okay?" Silverpaw whispered to Sweetheart.

"I don't know. He's been like that for such a long time. It reminds me of him when he was an apprentice and his mother was killed in battle," responded Sweetheart.

"I remember that time . . . it's faint, but it's near the time where Ripplefur died, too," Silverpaw responded. "He charged out of camp, and no one knew where he went for a long time, until he came back to camp unconscious. Nobody told me what happened. All the warriors were so secretive."

Icetail looked back to the two of them, causing them to stop their conversation. "What happened that day was the beginning of this war," he told her. "I was the one who started it."

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