Loving the Fighter

29

"What happened last night?" His voice was gentle as he let his gaze drop down to the desk.

"Liam took me to a cave," I say, trying to keep the important part away from this but it didn't seem like Andrew was going to let me.

"And then?"

"I took a shower and called it a night."

"You know, they say people with a past like us can tell when people are lying. Almost like we have a sixth sense for it." I couldn't help but let my head shoot up at that.

"What do you mean people like us?"

"Criminals, Jax. Haven't you realized what this camp is for?"

"It's to keep kids out of jail." I answer with a bit of venom in my voice.

"Yea but it's for more than just kids. This camp is for everyone with a criminal back ground that couldn't get a job anywhere else."

"Then what did you do to end up here?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't like me asking anything about him.

"I'll tell you, but in return you have to start being more cooperative." He said to which I groaned loudly.

"I'm not sure that's a fair deal. I get to learn one thing about you while you get to ask any question you want and I have to answer? That's hardly fair."

"I didn't say you had to answer everything. Just more than what you're doing now. We can't keep wasting each other's time by glaring at each other and trying to get off topics for an hour straight. It's not worth it."

I thought it over for a second before curiosity got the better of me.

"Fine, it's a deal. Now what did you do?"

"I was being stupid. Went through a bit of a financial struggle and one night when I was drunk off my ass I thought it was a good idea to take someone's car and run it into the side of jewelry store. I had a small past before that though, petty theft and stupid things like that."

"So you went to jail for property damage? That's not even that bad."

"Well when you add onto the fact that I was underage, public intoxication, the grand theft auto, and the few diamond rings I snuck into my back pocket before I tried running away it gets a bit worse. That and I kind of assaulted an officer when he tried to arrest me."

I only nod at his explanation. For whatever reason I hoped it would be more than that. His 'criminal past' was just him being drunk and stupid one night. Sure it was still a felony but compared to most of us here he was a poster child.

"Now that that's over, wanna tell me what happened last night?"

My hands shook slightly as I thought about how I was going to try and spin this to make it look not as bad.

"It was nothing really. For a while now I just get kind of trapped in old memories. It doesn't happen often."

"And what are these memories usually about?" He asks, his tone still gentle, as he opened the folder on his desk.

I'm sure he could tell I was hesitant but I didn't care at that point. I was just trying to keep myself from shaking.

"I don't want to tell you," I say honestly while trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"Then I won't force you to but you need to know that what ever you say here is confidential unless you give me permission to tell someone."

"Even if someone got hurt?" 

"As long as they are not currently getting hurt, no."

"Even if it could help prosecute someone?"

"If I think it's needed I can encourage you to come forward but I still can't make you and I can't tell anyone else."

I stared down at my hands for a while, thinking. If I was going to have to stay here he might be able to help at least with the flashbacks, maybe even with the nightmares.

They normally come in bursts. For a few months I'll be fine. No flashbacks, no nightmares, just a normal person. But after a while of being normal things come crashing down.

It starts with just dazing out, to a flashback or two, then nightmares. It goes on for a while until I can barely sleep and I don't remember doing anything and then one random day it will end and I go back to being normal all over again.

Maybe this time he can stop it before it even really starts.

Andrew is about to change the subject when I speak up and cut him off.

"I lost a fight after a three month winning streak. At that time it was the longest streak I had. My dad wasn't happy that I lost it.

"This only happened one time before this when I lost a one-month streak. My dad had a pretty bad punishment picked out for losing a streak that big."

"He hit you?" I shook my head and placed my hands on my knees in hopes they would stop giving off how scared I was to talk about this.

"I wished that's all he did. He would wait until I woke up and then he would use the buckle on his belt."

"When was the last time?"

"About five months ago when I lost my 4 and half month streak."

"And it healed now?"

"There are a few scars now but other than that I'm fine."

"Okay that's good," he said as he marked down something in the folder. "Lets go back to the flashbacks. How often do you get them?"

"Not very, they kind of come in bursts. It will be once a week for a few months and then they'll stop."

"Anything else come with these flashbacks," he asked without looking at me. His hand was ready to start writing as if he already knew something else came with it.

"Hard time focusing, trouble sleeping, nightmares," I list before stopping.

"Anything else? Even if you don't think it's important or connected I need to know." I only shrug in response. "Loss of appetite," he asked.

"You can't lose something you never had."    

"Anxiety?"

"Maybe a little," I say to which he chuckles a bit.

"Yea you seem like the type that is only a little anxious," he said, heavy sarcasm dripping in his voice, before continuing. "I think this is just a classic case of PTSD, which lucky for you is normally treated with therapy. It can be treated with anxiety and sleep meds but if I don't have to put you on anything I don't want to so we'll give it a few good weeks of successful sessions to see if this works and if it doesn't we'll try our luck with meds."

"Let's hope it's works then."