Loving the Fighter

116

Jax's POV

It had been nearly a week since Carter had taken that beating for me and to say that things have been a bit rocky would be an understatement.

We seemed to both be mad at each other but I don't know why. Well, I didn't know why he was mad at me at least. I knew why I was mad at him.

I didn't like that he took over. If he wasn't going to do anything then he should have just let me stay up front. The only reason I let him front was so he could do something about it, not so he could take the pain for me. I could have handled that.

"How are you feeling today," Andrew asked as soon as I walked in his office. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that I was not about to enjoy this next hour.

"I was doing a lot better before I walked in here," I admit as I sit down. Andrew only smiles.

"How are you feeling today," he asked again, clearly probing to see if I was okay to move forward with whatever he had planned.

"I've been better but I haven't had a nightmare since last week and the anxiety medicine seems to be working."

"That's good. Do you think you are okay to try to work through some eating problems today?" Just the thought of that made my stomach churn but I nod regardless.

"We can try but when I say stop, then stop," I say with a pointed glare. Andrew nodded quickly. His hand disappears from the desk for a second before coming back up, holding up a milkshake. I could see from here that it was still cold despite the fact that there wasn't a town for miles and the fact that Andrew has been here since early this morning.

"I've been told this is your favorite," he said with a smile as he pushed it across the desk. I took it without hesitation. This was different though. This wasn't food; it was a drink, which I've never had a problem with.

"Today we are going to talk about safe foods. These are basically anything that you will eat on any day without question."

"I don't think I have those," I say honestly as I stir the shake a bit.

"Milkshakes are one of them," he says with a small smile. "Can you think of anything else that would also be considered a safe food? Or even something close to it. You don't have to be able to eat it every day, just on really bad days."

"How would that even work here? I mean it's not like they are going to make it or anything."

"Yes they will. This is just like any other treatment center. They will make accommodations if they need to." I frown at that a bit. I thought I had figured a way out of it.

"Pizza is a good one I guess," I say after a while of thinking. The thought of it didn't immediately make my stomach churn so I guess that was a decent idea.

Andrew wrote it down.

"Anything else you can think of?" His voice was still too gentle but somehow not in a bad way.

"Maybe spaghetti but not often. I don't overly hate salads."

"And what are some instant no's for you?" Now that was about to be a long list.

"Grilled chicken," I say quickly, trying not to shudder at the memory that came along with that one. "Mashed potatoes but I think that's more of the texture, steak, cabbage, hot dogs, broccoli. Do I even need to keep going?"

"I think we can avoid most of those," Andrew said with another smile as he peaked back down at the cup I was holding.

"And does Carter have any problems with any foods?"

I almost scoff at his question. Even if I felt like asking Carter he wouldn't answer me. Or if he did he would just say no, purely to make himself seem better than he actually was.

"Not that I know of. He eats for us almost every day and there hasn't been too many things he wont eat."

"Can't you ask him? This is kind of important," Andrew urged, his voice still coming out upbeat.

"He isn't exactly talking to me right now," I say boredly. Andrew frowned at that.

"You two are already fighting again? What happened this time?"

"He fronted just to get beat up. I could have handled that. The only reason I let him front was so he could get them back. If I knew he was going to just lay there I would have done it for him."

"He's just doing his job."

"Just because it's his 'job' doesn't mean he should have to handle all the bad parts. I've handled enough to be able to sit through a beating."

"He's just trying to help the only way he knows how to."

"That shouldn't mean that I can't handle some things." Andrew's frown deepens.

"I'm sure there will be times where he lets you but I honestly think that experience would have only set you back."

"And you think it didn't set him back? Why does he get to take everything when we went through the same things? He's already said he has taken the worst parts of everything, everything that happens at this point is only a bigger set back for him. If I had done it I would have been better off."

I could almost feel Carter rolling his eyes at that.

Andrew on the other hand only sighed.

"I'm not even going to pretend like I know anything about Carter but I know that he would only ever do anything to help you. If Carter thinks he was better off fronting for it then he was probably right." I only scoffed as I leaned back in my seat more.

"Regardless, as far as I know, no. Carter doesn't have any problems with food." Andrew looked like he wanted to go back to the Carter topic but decided against it as he wrote something down in Carter's folder.

"Depending on who is fronting next session, do you think you would be okay with trying to eat in here if I brought in a safe food?" As much as I wanted to say yes purely because anything beats school food, I can't help but shrug with another sigh.

"Depends on how the day was," I say honestly. I expect for him to frown again but he only nods with a smile.

"I can work with that. We had a good session for the day. Unless you want to stay and work on this Carter thing, you can leave for the day."

That's all I needed to rush out of the office.

So somone asked in the comments of the last chapter if I could save a few chapters and then post them all at once so you all can binge read but I know not everyone likes that so we are going to take a vote. If you want to binge read or if you want it to stay like normal, make sure to let me know. 

And if you want to binge, let me know about how many chapters you want.

Last updated May 30, 2021