BROKEN - to be healed by her (manan ff)✔️

64: The aftermath!

Usdin se mujhe voh nightmares aane lage like the one in lodge goa jaate samaye..like someone's taking her away from me and i was trying to hold on but she kept pushing me away.

Days passed and i had to go back to hostel, but the only difference was it was just my body this time, the part of my soul has left my side the day i buried di..kaka was worried..I hadn't spoken for days together and not was i looking forward to, i hadn't expressed my sorrows to anyone, i hadn't cried my heart out..nothing!

Just liveless! Jab nyonika ko pata chala main hostel main tha, she came and made a mockery out of everything in front of the whole campus!”

I recalled the incident yuvraj narrated me back in goa, the little respect i had for her in my eyes even as a women was lost...she striked at the weakest point of his at the most crucial time knowing the consequences, what devil of a mother is she!!

"At the almost end of our academic year and about a year to di's death..I was called by our principal and he asked me to pack up and head back home overnight....Dad had passed away! He had a cardiac arrest!

Would you judge me if i tell you i hadn't felt a thing...a slight pinch maybe but that's about it...Yes i didn't mourn my father's death!! I didn't had anything to mourn about, no memories, no sweet moments spent together..plain nothing! I was told that now i had no need to get back and can continue my studies there, apparently this was something my mom told him!

Like a puppet i followed everything i was said..went there did whatever a son had to do when his father died but felt nothing, nyonika sat there crying hysterically mourning her husband's death..i was too into myself to criticize anything said and done....over the year i had lost the ability to feel..anything!"

I held back my sob rubbing the side of his arm comforting him. I didn't see no reason for him not being the way he was..cold..withdrawn...with lot of trust issues..most of all broken! Life has been soo harsh, unflattering and destructively disturbing for him, all he needed was a confidant, a friend and the worst being he lost the only person who was his both.

" It was 15 days to dad's death aur dadu ke ek baahot aache dost the harshwardhan malhotra he showed up...we used to call him dadu too, he was a businessman as well and dadaji's man for all the critical advices in his life..much like me and cabir now! he was mine and di's favorite after dadaji..and his wife too yamini malhotra whom we fondly called dadi..they had no children so they bestowed their abundant love on me and di..jab dadaji the they used to visit us on a regular basis and after his demise even they had to move to Sydney due to some crisis in their branch there and so unknown to everything that happened here!

He could immediate recognize the missing warmth in the house, voh ghar abb katne ko daudhta tha..jab voh aaye toh kaka narrated him the everything, when he came to see me i was perplexed but couldn't hold back in giving into his warm embrace, he wept and apologized for his disappearance at a point when we needed him the most...sabse gile sikhve rakhna chod diya tha maine toh unse kya sikayat rakhta..i shrugged his apology and told kaka to get him comfortable in one of the guest room as he said he was in india for a day or so and will Leave tomorrow.

I went to our terrace to get some fresh breath, it used to be suffocating for me in that house and so i used to spend most of my time on the terrace mostly looking back at the past  months and the drastic changes that flipped my life upside down..everyday kaka used to keep my dinner on the table at a side on the terrace..he tried to get me to have my meals on time but gave in after innumerable attempts when i told him to leave me on my own..i would eat when i absolutely couldn't move a limb because of drained energy and that too just the amount required for my survival..

That day too he came and kept my food on the table but like always didn't find his way back after informing me about the same rather this time he walked towards me, i felt his presence beside me as i stood by the railing.