64: The aftermath!

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Nandini's pov:

I could feel my senses going numb as he spoke, I sat gaping at his blank face and just for a mild second I imagined myself in his place and rishab in avya's as the horror of such ghastly turn of events even though completely hypothetical made a sharp shiver run down my spine. The thought in itself was devastating that i failed to hold on to that image for more than a second...

I know me saying anything at this moment would be futile, hell..i wasn't in a frame to console him even as my conscience kept telling me to do the needful, i was just into grasping this mere detail....Death has always been something i dreaded..no..not for me, i wasn't afraid of it coming my way rather to someone dear to me...life hasn't been much flattering to me as well in this arena!

I kept looking vacantly at him trying to form something comforting of a statement instead i found all my words chocked, i wanted to say that....I understand...I can feel how destructive it must have been...yet was not able to voice out a thing because frankly i hardly could comprehend the dilemma he went through, I sure had lost my loved ones but the two scenarios was soo distinct although the path it lead too was the same!

Getting a grip on my haywire emotions, I did possibly the only thing i could think off...I gripped his palms in mine squeezing them gently assuring him my presence..that he wasn't alone, i didn't want him feel the way he did when he saw his sister laying there cold.

" manik...that's enough for today...you don't....." i said seeing his unresponsive self after a few minutes of silence, this has been an emotionally frustrating and tideous day for him and not wanting to drain him further i suggested this but he cut me off.

" No..please nandini let me..i won't be able to otherwise" he whispered in a weak wobble voice still staring right at the sky that turned darker the clouds hiding the stars beneath the them, I couldn't help but think about the striking similarities between the scenario in our minds now and the sky...reliving for him and recollecting for me, the deep buried chapters of our lives. I nodded giving in to his plea.

" Di had one last wish...which was, she wanted to be buried..this was another thing that she last wrote apart from the letter, kaka and everyone else occupied themselves with the last rites toil and i was alone still stuck at my position, with heavy steps i went near the bed and in every step all i wished was for her to get up..I known it might sound foolish but i still desperately desired to believe that all of this was a mere lie..a horrifying one!

    
   But when i went near her and sat beside her, placing my unsure shivery finger tips on her now pale...cold face, holding back the sob that yearned to escape, those traitor tears shedding and slipping right through my cheeks and onto her hands....and yet she didn't respond...she didn't wake up to wipe those and hug me...that was when it came to me...she's...she was...dead suddenly all i could feel was void..a deep void.

I held her palms in mine and entwined them, placing it on my cheeks trying to pass my warmth to her not liking the coldness that overtook her...In a while kaka came to me hinting that she was to be taken, i stared at him as if he was speaking a language alien to me..he then reluctantly tried to recalsp her hands from mine..as much as he tried to separate our hands..i held on to her with more strength..he had to shake me and push me off to make me release her hand.

Nooo! Don't...don't please don't....mat lejao....please..please...kaka!!!! Roko unhe please!

I kept murmuring this to kaka, not having the strength to even yell..i just couldn't.

Kaka somehow made me get a grip on myself and we completed di's last rites the way she wanted..It was just me and kaka...neither nyonika was informed nor anyone else..voh aati bhi na toh bhi main uski shadow tak di pe badne nhi deta.

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