Inevitable Flaw

Chapter 15: Debt

 I start choking on air.

"Thank God, Thank God, Thank God," Aasif chants over and over in prayer, his tone holding on to every word.

Then I feel my ribcage enclosing from his invasive embrace.

I open to a bright sunset of fused orange and pink, the blurring image slowly becoming coherent.

In haste, I catch Adam cross-legged in distraught and soaked in water. His caramel hair pins to his head and forehead, the strands just missing his eyes, which are streaked in a bright red gasping his petrified look. I try to ignore how winded he appears because it hurts me. He stares at me almost blankly, but with a fade of distress. But as quick as it appears, his lips part into a weak smile.

 "You gave me a heart attack," Aasif murmurs playfully, disintegrating my focus on Adam.

 "I'm so sorry," I honest through a clogged throat, my eyes brewing salt water of happiness.

 "I was so scared Aasif," I add, my mouth donating sobs.

 I could now tell anyone my worst experience to life.

"Lets get you inside," Aasif replies to mask the lack of ease my tears always stirred out of him. He grabs his shirt and throws it around me.

I turn back towards my fear and begin trembling yet again.

 "You need a life jacket next time," Adam humours in observation.

 "There will be no next time," I press, my mouth rattling.

 They both chuckle to dilute the tension. Yet, the guilt runs around in the silence to follow, which isn't fair considering the fun that also came out of this. I decide that this incident is not worth regret.

Everything happens for a reason anyway.

 "I'll catch you later," Aasif announces towards Adam, slapping him on the back.

 "Yeah," Adam replies. And through a halo of dimmed sun encircling him, he beams a billion dollar smile in my direction.

After a warm shower, I thank God for protecting me and providing me with another chance at life. It is a miracle that I even survived, hence, I knew it is all God's doing.

Aasif and I sit reading the Quran before the front door is thrown open to Cici and mama laughing hysterically. They look at us approvingly before taking their seats on the couch.

Aasif leaves nearly minutes upon their arrival. The blame he has poured over himself and the promise to keep this all from them, made him anxious. Hence, he runs away from the emotion.

And so I listen to mama smile through her description of their hike.

"I'll throw it out," I volunteer.

While absorbing my jacket and dancing the cold away from me, I dive the large bag into the garbage bin. On my way back, I catch sight of a shadow by the lake. As I near, I instantly realize.

"Aasif, what are you doing in the cold?"

A shrug.

I sit beside him, flickering my attention towards the blissful darkness. The moon is so bright, acting superior to the masses of stars that embody it. The lake reflects off its appearance.

 "You should thank Adam," Aasif suddenly speaks, breaking my trance, his words quickening my heartbeat.

 "For?" I reply dumbly, wanting elaboration.

Silence.

 "I couldn't find you" he stares right at me, his eyes wide in angst.

"It's okay," I shake my head.

More long stranded quiet and I seek the cue.

"You should get inside, it's freezing." I Start getting up.

"Yeah," And I leave him alone, carrying my debt to my room and through the night.

--

As Adam makes his way to the barbecue, I follow him.

Now or never.

I casually walk around the table, right in front of his sight.  He absorbs my presence within seconds, his focus leaving the steak. The lingering of a smirk and concentrated eyes captivate me.

I stare back down at the food and grab some more empty calories, all with a timid heart.

Now.

 "Thank you," I whisper, my tongue knotting in torture.

 "I barbecue well, " He chuckles, complimenting himself.

"No, thank you for yesterday."

 "Of course." Seriousness overtakes him in a second.

"Don't drown again" he laughs, almost forced.

"I'll try not too," a very anxious chuckle.

"Life jacket, " he snaps the idea with a wink, displaying heavy amusement.

A nod.

That night I catch him smoking behind their cabin, the smell of nicotine grabbing space in my room, triggering the curiosity. I fascinate over his gaze, which travels far beyond the forest, the fire between his fingers helping the view. There is so much distance I see as he blows fumes, it disintegrates me.

It's novel for him to be so isolated regardless of needing space to smoke.

But then again, I wasn't really aware of this new him. Deep down, I am sure that he has forced this change upon him self.

More then I like.