Passive Nightmare, snuggling Killer in the couch, when suddenly,
"Killer. Get your shoes off my fucking couch."
"But-"
"Get your shoes off of my fucking couch, or I will stomp your kneecaps backwards."
"... ok" ._.
-
Dream and Nightmare sit next to each other on the bleachers of a soccer game, watching Starcross and Crescent play. Nightmare sips his drink from a flask uwu
"Can I have some? It's really hot out here." Dream asks him.
Nightmare shrugs. "Sure."
Dream gags immediately. "This-- Nightnare, is this straight Vodka?"
Nightmare nods. "Yup."
"But- it's- it's two in the afternoon.."
"Yup."
"We- We're at our kid's soccer game-"
"Yup."
"Wh- Why are you drinking-"
"I'm really fucking sad, Dream. I'm really sad. You should know this by now."
-
Lust, very loudly and proudly,
"HAH! Bitch, I don't have a vibrator, I have a jar of hornets."
Horror, terrified and quietly, from the corner,
"What the fuck..."
-
Dust, at two in the morning, yelling up the air vent into Cross's room,
"I WILL LITERALLY SUCK YOUR MASSIVE PEEN IF YOU MAKE ME SOME MAC N' CHEESE! PLEASE, IM TOO LAZY AND VERY HUNGRY."
-
Ink, monotone,
"It takes zero dollars to be homophobic and racist, but it's also zero dollars to kidnap you, drag you to the middle of the Sahara desert, blow off your kneecaps and bury you alive... but it also takes zero dollars to mind your own ducking business."
-
Reaper, annoyed, laying on the couch, "Just- don't- God, Geno don't kill yourself-"
Geno, already climbing out the window, "I might! I might."
"No, that'd ruin the whole fucking month.. Geno stop it-"
-
Blue, thinking:
"Guys, give me your best responses to getting stabbed with a knife."
Dust; "That's fair."
Cross; "Well, that's rude."
Killer; "Are you going to want this back or can I keep it?"
Nightmare, sighing; "Ugh, not again."
Everyone in the room turns to him.
Dream, really concerned, "Wh- What the fuck do you mean, 'again'?"
-
Geno, walking into the living room, exasperated, and glaring at everyone;
"Who hid a body in the basement? I'm not mad; I'm just disappointed."
Everyone immediately points at Horror, who gives everyone the "what the fuck" look.
-
Ink, looking up at everyone, worried, "Hey, I need some help guys."
Dream, from the couch, "Emotional help?"
Lust, looking up, "Dating help?"
Error, sitting on the ceiling, knitting, "Help tying knots?"
Killer, laying in the floor, "Cooking help? I can't help with that."
Passive Nightmare, sitting on top of the bookshelf, "Help hiding a body?"
-
Dust, handing Killer a USB drive, "Hey man, wanna try this v a p e?"
Killer immediately inhales as hard as he can for about 30 seconds, starts coughing like he's going to die, and yeets the thing through a window. Nightmare's screech of anger can be heard in the distance. They both run before he finds out they broke his window.
-
Lust, sitting in the shower, having an existential crisis,
"God, fuck smoking, fuck having sex, I want someone to hit me over the head with a toaster oven."
-
Killer, getting uncomfortably close to Cross,
"Chuck E. Cheese. Ski ball. Uh oh, some eight year olds are mouthing off. Fight them? You bet. A few roundhouse kicks later, we got all their tickets. Grand prize? Absolutely. Then, picnic on the train tracks. On the train tracks. We get two four-loco's each. That's four four-loco's. That's loco. Hear that? Trains coming! Doesn't matter, we're done eating. Chase that shit for miles. In the end we can't catch it. That's okay, we'll sit by the highway and throw marbles at passing cars. What do you think?"
-
Passive Nightmare, screaming at the top of his lungs, drunk as fuck; "DUST JUST ASKED ME HOW OLD MY BROTHER WAS AND I COULDN'T REMEMBER,,, HE'S MY TWIN BROTHERRRRRRR!!"
-
Cross, stealing Killer's phone and shoving it in the toaster,
"Vibe check, bitch"
