Cross looks over at Nightmare, Error, Dust, Killer and Horror, who are all sitting around the couch. "Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?"
"Nope, absolutely not."
"I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through."
"I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life."
"I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you."
"I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome."
—
The gang, all doing their best to bake something in the kitchen of the mansion.
Error looks over. "Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?"
"No...?" Nightmare, in his passive form, responds. "How many ovens do you think I have???"
Error, shrugs. "Three, I thought."
Dust squints. "I see four."
Nightmare motions to one of the devices. "This is a microwave. Very different."
"Oh, well I-"
"Hey wait wait, actually- hang on-" Nightmare says, fiddling with the buttons on the microwave. "It's got a bake setting?" He says, amazed.
Killer shrugs. "I guess you learn something new every day!"
Horror looks around at the group. "Do we- Do we fight for who gets to pick first?"
Nightmare, crossing his arms, dumbfounded, "I just discovered that I am a man who owns four ovens. We don't need to fight for anything."
Cross points to another appliance. "Also the toaster oven!"
"I AM A MAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS-"
—
Killer, Lust, Fresh and Ink are giggling manically to themselves.
"Croissants: dropped."
"Road: works ahead."
"BBQ Sauce: on my titties."
"Ms Keisha: fucking dead."
"Shavacado: Fre."
Geno furrows his eyebrows. "I have no idea what any of you just said and I hate every single one of you."
—
Nightmare, screaming, "I CAN'T DO IT!"
Error laughs hysterically from the other side of the room. "I CAN'T EITHER!"
Nightmare drops his head on the table. "I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE."
Dust, sipping his coffee across from Nightmare, "Well I'll tell you what, you can either give up now, or figure it the fuck out, because we certainly can't do it without you, and you sure as hell can't do it without us."
Nightmare pauses. "I appreciate the sentiment, but LOOK AT WHAT WE'RE FUCKING DEALING WITH."
"Nightmare, we gotta-" Killer gets cut off.
"YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!" Nightmare screams. "YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'"
Nightmare gestures to Horror, who has knocked the entire fridge out of the fucking wall and is ripping apart and eating a raw chicken while the water line that was connected to the fridge spews water everywhere.
"NOT FUCKING THIS."
—
Ink enters his house. "Oh. Hello, people who do not live here."
Dream, Lust and Fresh in unison; "Hi Ink."
"I gave you guys a key for emergencies."
Fresh shrugs. "We were out of lucky charms."
—
CarpeNoctem: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Powder: >:O language
CarpeDiem: Yeah watch your fucking language
H4lfdead: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DREAM THE FUCK WORD?
X: 'The fuck word'.
Holehead: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Powder: Oh my god they censored it
X: Say fuck, Horror.
Powder: Do it, Horror. Say fuck.
—
H4lfdead: Whatsup guys I'm here
CarpeDiem: Hi Geno
CarpeNoctem: Greetings
StabbyMcStab: Henlo UwU
X: The three kinds of people
Famine: I want pudding rn
X: Four kinda of people
Holehead: WHATS UP FUCKERS IM LATE TO THE PARTY
X: Five people
—
Ink to Blue under his breath, "We need to distract these guys."
Dream stands up from the hiding spot, confident as fuck. "I got this." He approaches his brother's little group of weirdos. "Centaurs have six limbs and therefore are technically considered insects. Discuss."
Killer, Horror, Nightmare, and Dust all immediately begin to argue.
Blue watches on in horror. "I don't like this. I don't like this at all."
—
Reactions to being told "I love you"
Dream: "Aw, that's very sweet!"
Horror: "If only somebody loved you."
Lust: "Hah I've heard that one before, try again sweetie."
Nightmare: "Can I get a refund?"
—
Nightmare sighs. "Guys, no. Nothing in life is free-"
Dust looks over. "Everything is technically free if you don't pay for it."
